Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

You Can't Fight a Tidal Wave	By : madradena Category: Star Trek > The Next Generation Views: 1693 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own ST:TNG nor Dreamland, nor the characters from either. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
Data lay down on his bed still with a satisfied little smile on his lips - though he could NOT actually feel the emotion right at the moment! Finally, he could try to generate some dream images again. He did not have the courage to run his dream program for a while now, and he had to confess he missed the experience. But with the emotion-chip turned on, the program produced only more confusion and some more fear. And those were the two feelings he had an abundance of these days not really needing any more. However, he was not afraid and was not confused tonight. He was determined to claim his lost life back, beginning with his dreams and hoping to finish with reacquainting with his old friends.
He closed his eyes, and reality faded into nothingness.
He was hurrying on in the streets of a 20th century city just like his character did in the play. He was singing cheerfully, but was glad to notice that he did not feel cheerful at all. He did not feel ANYTHING at all. He slowed down to a mere pace, and for a moment, thought he recognized a familiar face in the crowd at the far end of the street.
"Wait!" he called and started to run after her. It was Emma. And now was as good a time as any to test himself even in his dreams. How would he react? Would he feel anything, if they met?
He turned the corner and just saw her entering a building. It was the restaurant perhaps. He energetically leaped after her and entered the building with a neutral expression. He stopped short at what he found inside.
It was not a restaurant. It was Engineering. There were hundreds of Borg drones on the floor. All dead. Broken bodies, most of them only had their cybernetic parts intact.
"You really thought you can run away from me, Data?" a familiar female voice asked. He swirled around just to find that he was all alone with the bodies around him.
"You really thought you can kill me?"
This time he stood still. "You cannot intimidate me."
"Oh, can't I?" the voice asked.
"This is only a dream." he stated and turned toward the door. His hand was on the doorknob of the classic 20th century door, when he heard another voice.
"Would you leave me here alone?" Emma's voice asked just from behind his shoulder - he could even feel her breath on his ear.
He swirled around again, just to meet the silver gaze of the Queen. It was swept away in a blur as she locked her lips on his and kissed him. He did not kiss her back, did not even close his eyes.
She pulled away, and her lips drew into a slow smile: "You think you can win, don't you?" she asked on a whisper "You really think it will be over one day."
Data put his hands on her arms gently and pushed her away: "It IS over."
She reached up to touch his lips and snuggled back against him: "Is it?" she giggled.
And it was all back! All of it! Data sucked in a breath and felt that the room turned around him as his emotion-chip activated. No! How could she... How could she?!
He had no time to ask. Her mouth was again on his. She kissed him first only on the lips. He tried to pull away. No use, she held him fiercely. Then she pushed her tongue into his mouth - a muffled moan escaped him at the sensation as his tongue met hers. And his eyes closed on their own accord. No, please! his thoughts screamed as he felt his arms slip around her waist to hold her against him. As if his conscious mind had no power over his own actions.
She broke away and looked into his eyes: "Do you really want it to be over, Data?" she asked on a sultry voice "Do you really want to leave me behind? Don't you want me, the way you once did?"
He opened his eyes and looked at her through his long lashes. His heart raced in his chest, and he was helpless under the strong arousal her kisses created in his body. He wanted to say, I want to leave! He could have sworn he wanted to say that, but he breathed "I want you..." and before realizing it, he was kissing her again just as fiercely as she did him.
But this time, her taste was different! It was not her taste! How could this be?! He wanted to break away to make sure it was really HER. To see her with his own eyes. To see what he already knew from her taste. The taste of a woman he hadn't held in his arms for long-long years. Tasha! Can it be you?!
He slowly broke away and couldn't believe to see Tasha's face just an inch from his. She wore that outfit she wore, when she asked him for gentleness and joy ...and love. He couldn't give her the last one then.
He suddenly felt panic spread around in his body making him hold her tightly to him: "Tasha! Please do not go! Please! Do not leave me! I can give you love. Love that you asked me to give you. I can give it to you now!" his words just stumbled one after the other as his throat closed, and he felt his heart wanting to leap out of his chest.
Tasha slowly reached up and touched his lips the same way the Queen had done a few moments ago and then giggled: "Poor, little Data. You really thought I could want love from you?" she asked then looked at him with pity in her blue eyes "It was just a one night stand. Hmm... and not even that." she leaned close to his ear and whispered "Because it never happened, Data. It never happened."
His eyes closed as he felt pain stab into his chest. Closely followed by deep shame. The emotions that were eight years late after the events. He saw the gazes of his crewmates on the Bridge. They all reacted to Tasha's statement. Everybody understood what occurred, and they also understood that Tasha wanted it to be erased from her past. She wasn't even embarrassed to tell him that on the Bridge, in front of everybody. On the contrary. She did it so nobody would get the wrong impression. That she had anything to do with...
"A machine." the Borg Queen finished as he opened his eyes and saw that she took Tasha's place once again. She stroked his lips once again, and he numbly let her. "Do you remember I told you, how close you are to perfection? Why would you give me up? For someone like her?"
He kissed her then. It was his choice this time. As much as it was the first time in Engineering. She accepted him. As he was. No pain. No shame. Just pleasure. He moaned helplessly under her touch as her hands roamed his body hungrily, and they fell to the ground.
He broke away and looked at her face. Without warning, she started to scream. He held her close, not having any other choice. Held her until her organic flesh dissolved, and she died in his arms a painful, gruesome death.
"It is over..." he whimpered on a low strained voice. He painfully turned to his back but was not able to move anymore. Every part of his body resounded with the unthinkable pain of feeling his own organic skin dissolving "Over now..."
"You think it can ever be over, Data?" he heard her voice again. Fear gripped him once again. He turned his head with some difficulty to see her remains beside him on the floor. And there she was. Her face once again unmarred.
He turned his face away. I cannot do this anymore... She crouched next to him and took his hand tenderly in hers, the exact same gesture she made when he was under the ministrations of her drones making him more human than he thought was possible: "I will never go away, Data." He thought if death could have been a person, its touch must have been the same as hers was now.
She bent down to him "You may leave. For now." she whispered as she blew into his ear.
He opened his eyes slowly as reality crept back into his mind. It WAS a dream. It was not real. But he felt so...
He sat up at once. He FELT! He cocked his head to switch the chip off again. Nothing! Nothing happened! He tried it again. And again. But the emotions remained. In fact, his head was swaying from his dream and of all the events of the day. He put his forehead into his palm and closed his eyes. He needed help. It couldn't go on this way!
He raised his head and tapped his combadge:
"Data to La Forge."
"Hello, Geordi." he greeted his friend on a silent voice. He was still shaken up by his dream.
Geordi stepped into his workspace area and looked at him for a moment longer: "Hi... stranger." his voice resonated with a slight grudge. Data did not react so he went on "What can I do for you?" he asked starting to walk around in the room aimlessly.
"I need your help." Data stated simply.
Geordi snorted: "I figured this much. Why wouldn't you ask for my help of course? Of course, there's nothing wrong with ignoring and neglecting your friend for a month. Let's pretend you never did things like avoiding me on purpose, or not opening the door when I tried to check on you, or not returning ANY of my messages. Let's just move over that elephant in the room, it would just be in the way anyways." he couldn't help to pour his bitterness on his once-best-friend.
"Geordi..."
"No, you know what? Really, let's forget it. Just spit it out, tell me what you need, so I can be on my way and leave you alone. Cause that's what you want so much, don't you? What do you need my help with?" he finally stopped at Data's desk and turned back to him. Data stood in the middle of the room motionlessly, and Geordi suddenly noticed that he seemed... distressed. His face... almost seemed aged and troubled. Geordi's heart sank. He was angry at him with a reason, but...
"I want you to remove my emotion-chip. For good."
"WHAT?"
"The micro-switch enabling me to turn it off is fused, and the redundancy does not work. My self-diagnostics was not able to determine the cause of the failure." Data's voice was small and shaken.
Geordi stepped up to him and tried to catch his gaze, but Data just bowed his head: "Data. I can check that switch for you, but removing the chip... It's all you ever wanted!"
"It is now destroying my life. It damages my friends. And me. And I need it to be over."
Geordi could hear pain under every singular word he uttered. "Data, this is not the way to deal with strong emotions. Listen, I'm here! You can talk to me! Just forget everything I just said, I'm here to help you!"
"Then remove it!" Data snapped. His hands came up into fists as he finally looked straight into Geordi's eyes, his words were like whiplashes.
"Data, come on... Stop this, it's crazy! It's not right! Just... just talk to me! Tell me what hurts you so much that you want to throw all other emotions away with it!" Geordi pleaded.
"No!" Data shouted, and Geordi was shocked to see him lose control to that degree "Do you not understand, Geordi?! There is nothing to talk about. There is no reason the chip should give me the emotions I experience. It is not working properly whether diagnostics show the malfunction or not! I made a decision. I need your help with carrying it out."
Geordi was almost convinced. Almost. Except he read the reports of Data's abduction. He knew of the Borg Queen. And knew that Data didn't talk about her. Not to him, not to anyone. And if he had been the 'old' Data with no emotions, he could have been convinced that there was no need to discuss all of this. But Data had emotions now. Who wouldn't need to talk about how afraid he was, how helpless he was... Geordi knew from personal experience that Data's silence was not right.
He slowly bowed his head and sighed: "Data..." he whispered then looked at him again trying again to look into his eyes. But the android avoided his gaze and just looked ahead into nothing. "I think the best way I can help you now is, if I leave." he said finally and turned to go.
What he did not expect was feeling Data's hand on his arm holding on to him like a drowning would to the last straw he could catch. This time they locked gazes "Please..." Data begged on a desperate whisper "I cannot go on like this any longer." he held on tighter and his grip now hurt Geordi "Please! I need this to end!"
Despite the pain, Geordi put his hand on Data's, where it was on his arm: "Please, Data! If you don't want to talk to me. Talk to Counsellor Troi. Or anybody else. But talk! If you are so desperate, there needs to be a reason! We both know the chip is not faulty. You need to find your answers yourself. You cannot run away!"
"If you leave me now, you are leaving me trapped with emotions I cannot bear any more! Geordi!"
"Then talk to me! I'm here, Data! I'm not going anywhere, just talk!"
Data looked into his eyes for a moment longer, then simply let his hand drop from Geordi's arm. He bowed his head: "Good night, Geordi."
Geordi turned completely toward him "Data..."
"You are dismissed, Lieutenant Commander." Data muttered on a voice that lacked all color.
Geordi sighed frustrated: "Yes, Sir." and left him to himself.
Data stood there staring at his closed door for several long seconds. He contemplated what he should do next. He could try distracting himself again. Listening to some music the way he had been doing now for the last few days. To learn some more about the settings of Dreamland.
However, if he thought about the play, Emma came to his mind almost like a reflex. And he did not want to think about her. If he did, he felt an unintelligible sense of loss. It had no point. No logic. But it was there ever since she told him that she did not want him. The feeling made even less sense in the light of his own inhibitions against a relationship.
"She doesn't want you." he heard the familiar female voice again and raised his head sharply.
He felt that well-known tremble in his chest, gripping him tighter and tighter as he gazed around in his empty room. He was alone.
"I was the only one who ever wanted you."
Data looked over at his life. He was left on Omicron Theta by his own parents. Deactivated, all alone. After he was found by Starfleet officers, life took him to several different places. He met a lot of people who just came and went never lingering for longer then a few years. By the time he got to the Enterprise, his wish to create meaningful interpersonal relationships became one of his main priorities.
But relationships, real relationships never worked out. Tasha regretted that one occasion the moment she sobered. And he never really knew, if she felt any amount of the attachment he felt towards her. He was convinced at that time, that if he had had emotions, he could have fallen in love with her. But you cannot fall in love with a dead lover retrospectively after years. So after having his chip installed, he just felt a deep loss. Not only for Tasha herself. It was as if his emotions took away even the illusion of the possibility of love for her.
All the other women, Ard'ri from Tau Sigma V, Jenna D'Sora were only fleeting moments, never making any sense without emotions. After having emotions, they became missed opportunities. Even knowing that they expected him to be someone else - something else, which he would never be able to accomplish, knowing that even with emotions neither supposed relationship would have worked out, he felt he missed the opportunity to make an attempt.
And there was the Queen. She was essentially different from all the other women he had ever met. She accepted him so thoroughly that she accepted even his wish to be less than he already was. She viewed organic life as a lesser form of being. She considered him to be almost perfect as he was. And still accepted that he craved to become that lesser form of being.
"I was the only one that ever wanted YOU. The being that you truly are." she said again.
"I know." he whispered. He shut his eyes as he felt pain mingling into fear. He felt a gentle touch on his lips and blinking he slowly opened his eyes again. The Queen gazed into his eyes tenderly. She waited for him to speak and slowly he found words to utter "I-I cannot go on like this. Please, give my life back to me." he whispered.
She smiled "Claim it back. No one is stopping you." she told him on a low voice.
Data took another long second to reply. "You... are not real, are you?" he asked knowing the answer already. She just smiled up at him. He took a reluctant step back from her. She didn't make an attempt to get closer to him. Just stood there with a smile on her face watching him.
He had no idea how to dismiss her. What if she followed him, when he was on Bridge duty? Or at the rehearsal? What should he do even right now? He had a day off as it was required by regulations that he had to take at least one 24 hours off every seven days. He had 16 more hours until he was due at the rehearsal. And he was here. Trapped with his emotions. Trapped with her. He could not think of anything else to do but...
His hand slowly came up to the small of his back. He found the small hollow there containing the switch he dreaded more than anything - now he found something he dreaded more than being virtually dead... He found the small projections next to it and set the timer to 15 hours 50 minutes. Then he pushed the button. His emotions disappeared a nano second before the whole of reality focused into one tiny point of light giving him one nano second of relief. Then that light faded as well, and his body slumped to the floor like a ragdoll.
- 16
- 17
- 18
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

You Can't Fight a Tidal Wave