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Darkest Nights	By : Bucken-Berry Category: G through L > Law & Order Views: 1449 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or it's characters and I'm not making money from this.

Chapter List
- 17
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"What? Who does it belong to?" Elliot asked quickly.
"Eric Keyes," Olivia stated.
"Well, let's get a warrant and a search going for Keyes," Elliot suggested. He trailed off for a moment.
"Do you think we should tell George that we have a lead?"
"I don't know. What happened yesterday?" Olivia asked.
"He had a hell of a panic attack when he found out there was another victim."
"George? Really?" Olivia asked incredulously.
"Yes. He didn't sleep the whole night, he was trembling, everything," Elliot sighed.
"Did he talk to Hendricks about it?"
"Funny thing, we were just coming back from an appointment when your call came," Elliot informed her.
"Oh," Olivia said with a hint of shame. "Is he okay now, though?"
"More or less. He's really rattled but calming down. And he's opening up now," Elliot stated.
"That's something, at least," Olivia supplied.
"Yeah. So, I'll be there soon. "
Elliot ended the phone call and walked back in. George was still lying down, looking thoroughly exhausted but with no intention of sleeping, for as long as he could avoid it.
"Doc, I need to work on your case. Do you have anything you can do here?" Elliot asked.
"Yeah, I'll take a shower or something," George said.
"Okay. Be careful," Elliot instructed. He kissed him gently, relieved to find George relaxing at the contact. He broke away after a moment and left.
George stood up gingerly and walked towards Elliot's bathroom. He felt decent, physically, except for some soreness and an excessive fatigue that plagued him no matter how much or how little he slept. However, he knew that it was an after-effect of the overwhelming infection, and it would take time for it to go away.
One of the many consequences of what had happened, George mused as he stepped into the bathroom and closed the door. He stripped down and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt soothing on his body and he sighed deeply as he reflected.
He hadn't expected to survive his ordeal: he hadn't been given a single reason to think otherwise. But the fact was still there: he hadn't expected there to be a fall-out to deal with- at least, one that HE would deal with- but suddenly, there it was.
One good thing, at least, had come about from this. Elliot was his lover and protector now. Somehow, he didn't object to the idea of having to be protected like he would have two months ago. Maybe it was his defenses having been worn down; he was so vulnerable, he needed someone there while he regained some equilibrium. The idea of being protected, taken care of… it sounded ideal now.
But for that one good thing, there were a dozen awful things that had happened. He winced slightly as he touched a spot on his stomach that was forming a scar. The emotional scars would be much worse. But emotional scars could fade over time. It would just take work- if he opened up, kept the walls to a minimum like he'd been trying to, there was a good chance that he'd be able to function again soon. And within a few years, he might regain a semblance of his former self.
Some things would take even longer to return to normal, if they did at all- he had enjoyed sex before, but now… he wasn't sure if he ever wanted it again. He knew it was possible for rape victims to be able to have sex again, but he wasn't going to fool himself- it would take a long time, it would be a difficult process, and there were much more pressing issues that would have to be dealt with first. For now, the mere thought of sex terrified and disgusted him, and he would have to accept it for a while.
He didn't want to tell his family about the pain and humiliation he'd endured. His parent's rejection still stung. He didn't want to open himself up to them this soon. He knew they wouldn't do anything terrible, like suggesting that he was lying or he deserved it, but he didn't feel up to talking with them; repairing their relationship would take energy he didn't have. He would reach out eventually- after all, his parents weren't heartless. They were just traditional. As a young adult, he'd realized with a stab of sadness that he would be the same way if he'd grown up in their time.
Nora gave him a different reason to keep quiet than the rest of his family. George's worry about talking to her came from the fact that Nora was kind and innocent. She was truly horrified at the idea of what he worked with on a daily basis, and knowing he was a victim of that same violence would tear her apart. He didn't want to cause his sister any harm, even emotional. But she had to know.
George sighed as he idly scrubbed at his body. Despite the fact that he was looking better, gaining weight and color steadily- his skin was gradually returning to its normal olive tone, instead of the sickly, pallid look- he also still had many very visible reminders of what had happened. He dreaded seeing the look on Nora's face when she saw them.
The ones who had attacked him had found the perfect torture, he thought sadly. Lots of pain with little blood loss, limiting the possibility for death until they wanted it to happen, but the same amount of scarring as if they'd cut indiscriminately. Combined with everything else… Elliot was right, it was a miracle he was still sane. And he was thankful for that.
George finished washing and stepped out of the shower. He walked over to the sink and shaved before dressing again and walking to the bedroom. He opened the window and climbed out to sit on the fire escape. He coughed as his lungs loosened; a delayed effect of the shower steam. It felt good, though, to feel his lungs clear. He took deliberately deep breaths, letting his lungs fill almost to the point of pain.
He felt calmer than he had in a long time. Part of it was because of his own introspection- he had always enjoyed being left to his thoughts. Usually in a quiet spot, but that triggered flashbacks as of late, so he simply preferred meaningless background noise.
George thought about the new sense of calm. It wasn't apathy or numbness, but the turmoil had temporarily dulled to an emotion that was a definite contrast to the instinctive panic he'd felt almost constantly the last 24 hours. He couldn't quite label the feeling, however.
Things just felt clear. He knew Elliot would be his rock, while at the same time, Elliot wouldn't take the transition well and he would need a rock of his own. George also knew, as much as the thought pained him, that he was a long way away from being able to be a rock for anyone. Hopefully Elliot would be okay until George reached that point.
He knew that the nightmares and flashbacks and anxiety would get almost unbearable before they gradually got better, though they would become manageable eventually.
George spent a moment wondering what his attackers were doing. He shivered at the thought- it wasn't something he wanted to dwell on.
He made himself think about what steps he would take next. He decided that he would wait for Elliot to return, and then he would ask Elliot to sit with him while he called Nora. He'd tell her as little as possible over the phone- this was something to say in person- but he'd tell her enough to convince her to come to New York so he could talk to her.
George didn't want to burden Nora, but Elliot was right. She didn't deserve to be shut out. It would crush her, but she would find out eventually regardless, and not hearing from him right away would add more hurt to her feelings.
He tilted his head back slightly and closed his eyes. He could tell that this was an 'eye of the storm', not a true breakthrough, but it still made his thoughts feel simple. He'd barely been able to understand his own thoughts, so it was a definite relief. He knew things would get bad again, and he dreaded it, but for now he was in a rare moment of contentedness.
- 17
- 18
- 19
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Darkest Nights