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Time	By : cr8zymommy Category: 1 through F > Criminal Minds Views: 4585 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story

Chapter List
- 17
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- 19
Clad only in a simple pair of red plaid pajama pants, cinched tight at the waist to keep them on, Spencer Reid wandered through Morgan’s house. The feeling of being able to move freely was frightening and yet amazing all at the same time. He didn’t know what to do with so much freedom. To be able to walk and stretch his legs without asking for permission; to go into a room and be able to see all the exits and know that, if he wanted, he was free to use any of them. It was just…amazing. There was no other word for it.
Yet, at the same time, it was almost too much. Too much freedom, too much space. Too much everything. For so long his world had consisted of one room in which he hadn’t even been allowed the freedom to move as he wished. He’d either been forced to stand in one space, or chained to another, or strung up in the center.
Spencer shuddered slightly and wrapped his arms around his waist. He didn’t want to think about that right now. He didn’t want to picture that room.
He glanced over his shoulder, making sure that he could still easily see the entrance to the living room, which was where Morgan was. After they’d come into Morgan’s house and set their stuff down, Morgan had told him he was free to tour the house. Then he’d smiled and taken a seat on the couch, picking up a book from the end table and telling him “I’ll sit here and read for a bit. We’ve probably got about an hour left until the others start to show up. Feel free to walk around, take a look at things. Make yourself at home. Bathroom’s the second door on the right if you need to, you know, take care of business.” Almost as an afterthought, he’d added “Oh, and you can change if you want. Remember what I said before. You can dress as comfortably as you want here.”
That had been the first thing Spencer had done. Right there in the entry way he’d stripped out of his clothes, using the way to support him, and had pulled on a pair of pajama pants. He’d stayed quiet even when his aches sprang to life. For some reason it was important to him to do this on his own.
It felt so much better to be wearing only cotton pants. Sure, he had to tie off the strings just to keep them up, but he didn’t feel so constricted. Then, with a shy, unsure look to Morgan, who was still reading, Spencer had set off down the hall.
He had stopped off in the bathroom, telling himself that he didn’t need to ask permission. Morgan had told him where the bathroom was and that he could use it. That meant he didn’t have to ask. Still, it was awkward to be in there alone. He couldn’t bring himself to shut the door all the way. As soon as he’d finished and had washed his hands, he’d hurried back out into the hallway, checking to make sure that Morgan hadn’t left.
It felt increasingly strange to look in the doors in the hallway. But Morgan had told him to take a look at things and it was too ingrained in Spencer to follow orders. Simple comments in his world were meant as orders. Noting was said lightly. If he was told to look around, that was what he would do. So he checked each door, finding an office, a guest room, the bathroom, a hall closet, and the master bedroom. He couldn’t bring himself to go inside any of them, though. That would take him out of sight of Morgan and he wanted—needed—to be able to see Morgan. To know that he was still safe.
Slowly he made his way back down the hall and toward the dining room. The floor was cold underneath his feet, a sensation he was well used to, and he was starting to ache a little more. His back and his backside hurt the most. When he looked in the dining room, though, he wiped away the pain. In its place came longing.
Morgan had patio doors in his dining room. Through them, Spencer saw the wide expanse of grass, perfectly fenced in. There was a large tree back there that seemed to shine in the setting sun.
There had been so many things going on over the past two days that Spencer hadn’t paid any real attention while he was outside. But here, now, he couldn’t help but move to the glass door and stare. The sun was low in the sky, not quite setting yet. His brain told him it would be another hour and a half until the sunset really hit. But it was so beautiful out there.
The longing took the place of his fear, pushing it down just enough for him to ask a question he wouldn’t have dared to ask otherwise. “Morgan. Can…can I go outside?”
There was the sound of footsteps, stopping a little ways behind him. On the other side of the table, Spencer guessed. “Yeah, Spencer. Go ahead. You’re free to do what you want here.”
His breath caught in his throat. The hand he lifted to the patio door was trembling, but it wasn’t out of fear. This time it was out of anticipation. He pulled the door open and forced his feet to move outside. Across the patio and then, with one last tremble, onto the grass.
The feel of the soft grass underneath his feet was like heaven. He didn’t pay attention to the chill under his feet or in the air. He just walked across the grass until he was standing in the sunshine.
Spencer felt a small sigh slip past his lips. He tipped his face up to let the warmth of the sun wash over him. Tension drained slowly out of him. The feel of the sun on his skin was better than any drug. He closed his eyes, awash in sensation. The cool breeze brushing his skin. The warmth of the sun, heating his skin just slightly. The sound of leaves rustling on the tree. Somewhere in the distance a car was driving past. There was the sound of children playing a few houses down.
Life. It was the sounds of life around him.
A true smile curved his lips. Behind him, he heard Morgan stepping onto the patio. Heard a sound that said that the older man had taken a seat on one of the chairs there. That was fine. Spencer liked that he was there. It made the experience seem so much better, actually.
“I didn’t see the sun that often.” Spencer kept his eyes closed and his face lifted. “I judged time by when he was with me and when he wasn’t. The few times I came upstairs or that we traveled to the cabin, I never had the time to enjoy it. Or he would blindfold me.”
A bird chattered in the tree, letting out its soft song into the evening air.
“You forget how heavenly the sun feels. How absolutely intoxicating it can be.” That was a good word for it. Intoxicating. Like he was drunk from the rays of the sun. “To stand here and hear the sounds around you. To listen to children laugh and birds singing. To feel the sun and the breeze. Those things, you take for granted. But I won’t. Not ever again.”
Where he got the courage to speak so much or so bluntly, he didn’t know. But it felt right. That was what mattered at that moment. It felt right.
Dropping his face back down, Spencer turned to look at the dark man sitting in a patio chair. There was a smile on Morgan’s lips that had Spencer’s own lips wanting to quirk in return. “You want to maybe set up some blankets out here and eat outside? I’m sure the others wouldn’t mind. It’s pretty warm this evening.”
This time Spencer couldn’t stop the little smile he felt. It was nowhere near what it had used to be, but it was there. “Really?”
“Really.” Morgan rose from his chair. “I’ve got to go call in for the pizza, so I’ll snag some blankets while I’m in there. You can help me spread them out before everyone gets here.” Pausing by the door, Morgan looked back at him. “You want a shirt or a sweater or something, pretty boy? You might get awfully cold as you are.”
Worrying his lip between his teeth, Spencer looked down at the ground, trying his hardest to resist the urge to say yes and take what could be considered a veiled command. Instead of letting himself do that, he worked up just enough bravery to ask “Do I have to?”
Tension drained from him with Morgan’s light hearted reply. “Nope. Just thought I’d offer. If you get cold, you know where your bag is and where your shirts are.”
The doorbell rang then, startling the both of them. Spencer bit his lip and turned his face back toward the sun while Morgan went to answer the door. This was an important night tonight. Spencer knew that. He understood. It was why he had told JJ and Aaron they could come over with the others. Why he’d suggested a group dinner.
These people had, at one point in time, been the most important people in his life, aside from his mother. Though he didn’t remember everything and what he did remember wasn’t necessarily in the right order, there was no doubting the emotion he’d felt for these people. The love and respect that had existed amongst the group. That was something that Spencer ached to feel again. More than anything else in the world he simply wanted to feel normal.
Part of his brain, a part that worked off of logic, completely understood what had happened to him and that it was wrong. The other part of his brain, though, was bigger and more in control. That part told him that Master would find him and hurt him. Master would most likely kill him.
But, oh, wasn’t it worth it, simply to have this time with those he loved? To feel human one last time?
A warm female laugh drew Spencer from his thoughts. He dropped his head to look over to the patio. There stood Emily with her arms loaded down with what looked like quilts. A beautiful smile was on her face. Pretty lady Spencer thought to himself I had that part right, at least. She always has been a pretty lady. Inside and out.
“You spending a little time sun worshipping?” Emily teased him lightly. She walked out onto the grass, toeing off her shoes at the edge of the patio. When she was close to him, she tossed the quilts down onto the grass before bending and pulling off her socks. Those she threw in the direction of her shoes. She shook her hair back and tipped her head up, mirroring the pose he’d been in before. “It sure is a beautiful evening to do it with.”
Spencer watched her face for a moment, seeing the enjoyment she felt as the sun warmed her skin. The smile she wore was real. Honest. That was one thing he loved about Emily. She was the type of person that may have stressed about something or she may have been hurting inside, but she could find enjoyment in almost any situation in her life. He had always wondered how she’d done it. Now…now he knew.
One of her eyes peeked open to look at him. “I don’t have something on my face, do I?” she asked.
A ghost of a smile flittered over Spencer’s lips. “No.” He said. Turning, he too lifted his face back up, letting his skin grow warmer and warmer. “I was just thinking.”
“Mm. Thinking is good sometimes.”
“I used to think about you a lot.” Spencer sighed, lifting his arms just slightly. “I would lie there and think of all of you. I’d remember how, no matter what happened to you, you always found a way to smile. You always found something in life to enjoy. I never understood before how you managed to do it. But now? Now I understand. It became my mantra to find something good in every single day, no matter what it was. There was always something positive to cling to, even when I couldn’t remember you guys anymore. I still found something.” He let his arms drop, that smile still just barely visible on his lips. “Today, there’s more to be happy about than I knew was possible.”
Opening his eyes, he turned and looked at his friend. “Let’s set up the blankets.”

From inside the house, Morgan watched the two friends soaking up the rays of the sun. Spencer’s soft words just barely floated into the house. Morgan held perfectly still as he listened. When the two moved to start laying out the quilts, Morgan backed away from the door, smiling. This had been a good idea. Not only the dinner, but the having it outside part. Maybe being outside would make it a little easier for Spencer. Make him feel less confined. In the house, there was the chance that too many people would overwhelm him or make him feel cornered. But in the backyard there was so much space and plenty of escape routes if the kid felt he needed one.
The doorbell rang again. Morgan knew the pizza wasn’t there yet, he’d only ordered it five minutes ago, which meant that another member of the team must have arrived. Sure enough, his friends were there. Behind the two men, JJ shook a tin and called out “I brought cookies!”
“And I brought the wine!” Dave chimed in, stepping through the open front door. Behind him JJ let out her musical laugh. “Rossi, you always bring the wine.” She teased him.
“It’s the Italian in him.” Aaron said.
Laughing, Morgan gestured them all to come in, reaching around and shutting the door behind JJ. His eyes traveled to the patio door, watching as Spencer and Emily debated the way to lay out one of their blankets. Good, they were distracted. He took advantage of that to shepherd the others into the kitchen under the pretense of pouring them all some wine.
As he took the glasses out, Morgan checked out the window once again an then turned his attention to the others. “I wanted to snag you guys in here real quick.” He said, laying out the glasses on the counter and letting Dave deal with the wine. “I really hope you guys don’t mind, but we’re going to eat outside. Spencer and Prentiss are out there setting up quilts to sit on.”
“A pizza picnic?” JJ asked, lips curving. “Sounds like fun to me.”
Understanding was on both Dave and Aaron’s faces. They didn’t need an explanation to understand Spencer’s need to be out there. That was one of the benefits with being around such talented profilers. Sometimes you didn’t really have to say anything. They already knew.
But there was something else he wanted to say. “One other thing, before we go out there. I know you guys have a hard time seeing, well, seeing his back and such like that. I know how bad it looks.” Horrible, absolutely horrible. A mess of bruises and cuts and scars. “But Spencer was getting really uncomfortable in the shirt and pants from earlier. Part of it is I think it hurts his skin. But the other part of it…”
“He’s used to being forced to be without clothes.” Dave finished for him. He handed out the glasses to each one as he poured them. “So his brain was probably driving him crazy at being in so many articles of clothing.”
Morgan took his glass from his friend’s hand with a smile. “Yeah, he was. So I made him a deal. Out in public, full clothes. No arguing there. But at home, he’s free to dress in boxers, pajama pants, whatever is comfortable for him. I told him I don’t mind. So he’s out there in pajama pants right now. I just wanted to give you a heads up at his lack of clothes and so you don’t flip too much when you see him. He looks pretty beat up and he’s lost weight.”
A hand rested on Morgan’s arm, drawing his eyes back up from the wine in his glass. He was surprised to find that it was Aaron who was there, trying to reassure him. “We love him too, Morgan. He’s our family. We’ll be gentle, don’t worry.”
Dave raised his glass. “To family.”
Together, the group smiled, raising their glasses to clink them together. “To family.”

Once they had the blankets set out perfectly—spaced apart just the way they wanted them to be. Who knew that would be such an argument?—the two friends claimed one blanket, stretching themselves out on it. Spencer had to carefully lower himself down, trying to avoid jostling the injures on his body. He couldn’t resist a wince when his backside met the ground, though.
Unconsciously he shifted. Instead of lying on his back, he ended on his stomach, his arms folded to rest underneath his chin. It left the whole backside of him exposed to the sun, which felt wonderful, and allowed him to watch toward the patio where the others were slowly starting to come outside.
There were two large quilts spread out, which made it easy to divide up. Morgan came over to sit down beside Spencer, which made Spencer sigh with relief. He’d wanted Morgan beside him. On the other blanket, which was between Spencer’s blanket and the patio and just a little to the right, sat JJ, Aaron and Dave. Everyone carried a glass of wine, JJ had two—she handed one to Emily—and they were all smiling.
Emily had stretched out on her stomach right beside Spencer so that their shoulders were close to touching. He found that he didn’t mind. She wasn’t so close as to invade his space, but close enough that he could enjoy her presence there.
“You two look like you’re sure enjoying the sun.” JJ teased them.
Laughing, Emily winked at her. “Come on now, Jayje. I’m surprised you haven’t kicked your shoes off and lay down yet.”
“Maybe after dinner. I’m too hungry to play at the moment.”
As if to answer her pleas, they all heard the doorbell again. JJ hopped to her feet, grinning. “Pizza!” she exclaimed. Laughter echoed through the backyard as Morgan rose and followed her toward the house to get their pizza. The others shook their heads in amusement.
Trying to keep himself relaxed, Spencer looked at his friends, his eyes traveling over them. They’d changed in little ways since he’d been gone. Nothing that was severe; but there were little things. A little more gray to Dave’s hair. A few more stress lines to Aaron’s face. The shadows in Emily’s eyes that were deeper than ever or the bubbliness mixed with seriousness that had become more pronounced in JJ. It hurt to think he might have been the cause of some of this.
He saw Dave’s small smile and realized that he’d been caught staring. Working up his courage—these were his friends! He was safe!—he finally said “Hey, Rossi. You…you look good.”
“I don’t know about that. A little grayer, maybe.” But his smile said there was no sting to the words.
Emily cocked her head at him and grinned. “Makes you look dignified, Rossi. Gives you a little class.”
“Are you trying to say I didn’t have class before?”
The familiar taunting washed over Spencer and did more to loosen his muscles than anything else had. He found himself actually wanting to smile when he met Aaron’s eyes.
Then sound was around them, heralding the backyard with the arrival of the pizza. Conversation seemed to flow quickly then. Spencer sat up so that he could eat, balancing a plate on his lap with pizza on it. He looked down at the food, unsure about eating. He’d already eaten more today than he usually did in a day. Would he get in trouble for eating more? Would his stomach even be able to handle it?
“There is nothing wrong with cats!” Emily was saying beside him, distracting Spencer from his pizza. He looked over to see Emily and Dave engaged in an argument. He felt himself start to tense slightly, eyes going just a little wide, but he felt a hand on his arm, making him turn to look. Morgan was right beside him, his expression calm. “They’re just playing, pretty boy.” He murmured low enough that only Spencer could hear. “That’s all. Just a play argument.”
Oh. Spencer’s eyes moved back toward them, then back to Morgan. “Why?” he asked. The idea of arguing for the sake of playing didn’t make any sense. Arguments were terrifying things where people yelled and someone got hurt. How could that be considered playing? How was that any fun?
“Well, for fun. They’re not really arguing, so to speak. More like, they’re teasing each other. I guess teasing is a better word for it than arguing.”
This all seemed so confusing. Strange. Spencer looked back at his friends and found himself unconsciously scooting just a little closer to Morgan. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them. He did! It was just, well…he would see where this ‘play argument’ went. And just in case it ended up not going the way Morgan said, well, Spencer wasn’t going to be caught in the middle.
“You’re awfully quiet, Spence.” JJ’s voice drew him into the conversation and out of his thoughts. She smiled as she used a napkin to wipe pizza sauce off her face. “Are we talking too much for you?”
Too much? He quickly shook his head. “No.” He reassured her. “I…I want you to talk.” Unable to help himself, he looked to Morgan for reassurance, lip caught nervously between his teeth. It was only when Morgan nodded encouragingly that Spencer looked back at everyone. “I, uh, I’d love to hear about how you all are. What happened while I was gone and...and things like that.”
JJ’s smile, if anything, grew wider. “Well, you do realize you just asked a mother to talk about herself, right? That means pictures.”
So that was how Spencer found himself looking at a whole deluge of photos. First JJ’s pictures of her and Will and Henry. Oh man, Henry had gotten so big. It almost brought tears to Spencer’s eyes to see his Godson. Then there were pictures of Aaron and Jack. Even Emily and Dave had a few team pictures. They told stories of things the group had done or things the children had done. They talked about cases and about moments they’d wished he’d been there for.
By the time the others were done eating, the sun had started to set. Spencer had long since given up on his piece of pizza. He’d gotten half of it down before he’d started to feel nauseous and had set it aside. Then he’d leaned a little closer to Morgan, happy when the older man had wrapped an arm around him and snuggled him close.
When he’d started to drift, Spencer didn’t know. But the sounds of their voices started to blend together and he found himself fighting to keep his eyes open and his attention focused on them. He didn’t realize how badly he’d lost the battle until Morgan was shifting him, his voice a low murmur in the chilly air. “Come on, kid. You’re almost totally asleep out here. Let’s get you in a nice, warm bed, hm?”
That sounded wonderful. A bed. For the first time in a long time, he would sleep in a bed. It seemed almost decadent.
Warm hands helped him to his feet, but Spencer was beyond tired. He couldn’t seem to wake himself up enough to even stand steady. Thankfully, Morgan’s hands never left him. They just kept supporting him. Vaguely he heard the others saying their goodbyes and wishes for sweet dreams and he thought he might have mumbled something back, but he couldn’t be sure. Then Morgan was helping him forward and Spencer really just wanted to go back to sleep. It felt peaceful in sleep. His thoughts weren’t as hard an sharp. It was almost like he was numb.
“I’ve got a guestroom here, pretty boy. Or, I know you get a little scared. You can come sleep down in my room if you want. I’ll take the floor or something.”
The floor? “Don’t.” he muttered.
“Don’t what, Spencer?”
“Don’t take the floor. Just…stay with me…please…”
There was a pause and then Morgan spoke in a voice tight with emotion. “Always.”
After that, Spencer really didn’t remember much more. He felt himself being lowered into a soft surface but beyond that…nothing. He was out before Morgan even finished tucking him into the bed.
- 17
- 18
- 19
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