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To Chase a Feather in the Wind	By : OpenPage Category: 1 through F > 21 Jump Street Views: 1696 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own 21JS or the characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. All characters and events in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is coincidental.

Chapter List
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Three days later
Tom paced up and down the faded blue carpet of the visitors’ room, anxiously waiting to catch his first glimpse of Booker. His stomach was a tight knot of nerves and for the umpteenth time, he wondered if he was doing the right thing. Doug’s words had unsettled him and he could not get the thought out of his mind that maybe he was helping Dennis for all the wrong reasons. He could not deny it, he was still attracted to him, even after the violence of the rape and he spent many nights jerking off with the image of Dennis’ face in his mind. It was disconcerting knowing that he could still love a man who had violated him in such a brutal way and yet, deep down, he knew the man who had raped him was not the real Dennis Booker. Dennis had been on a knife’s edge, drowning in his own psychological confusion and no one around him had the sense to realize it, including him. He regretted it now and he wished he had recognized the signs of a man spiraling dangerously out of control. Looking back, he wondered how he could have been so obtuse but if he was honest with himself, he knew the real reason why. He had wanted Dennis to be okay and therefore, he had dismissed all the telltale signs that indicated he was anything but okay. It was his own selfishness, the need to have Dennis in his life, if only as a working partner that had prevented him from acknowledging what was right in front of his face; a man who was severely psychologically damaged and using drugs and alcohol to mask his pain.
Sighing heavily, he moved over to the window and stared out at the vast expanse of lawn that bordered each side of Rosewood’s long winding driveway. He thought back to the moment when he had brushed Dennis’ damp hair from his face and told him he was beautiful because it was at that precise moment both their lives had changed. He struggled with the guilt of that knowledge every day and he knew now it was not a slip of the tongue, he had meant to say it because he needed Dennis to know how he felt; his egotism had been his downfall. If he had kept his mouth shut and accepted that he and Dennis would never be anything more than friends, both their lives would be very different.
At the sound of approaching footsteps, he turned around and faced the door. Seconds later, Doctor Giebelhouse strode in and for a moment, Tom thought he was alone. Then, a solitary figure shuffled through the doorway, his dark head bowed in submission and his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his jeans, as though accepting of his fate.
Tears sprang to Tom’s eyes at the sight of a once proud man reduced to a subservient zombie and rushing forward, he started to speak when the doctor held up a dismissive hand. “First things first Mister Hanson. I believe Dennis has something he wants to say to you.”
Tom stared back at the doctor in confusion. “Um, okay.”
Giebelhouse took Dennis by the arm and pulled him forward until he was standing opposite Tom. “Go ahead Dennis,” he instructed.
Booker continued to stare at the floor before mumbling, “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
A physical pain stabbed at Tom’s heart and stepping forward, he started to tell Booker it was okay but once again, Giebelhouse interrupted him. “No, no, no Dennis! You’re sorry you raped Tom. Raped! You have to acknowledge what you did.”
Not wanting to put Booker through any undue stress, Tom ignored the doctor and smiling reassuringly, he reached out a hand and placed it on his friend's arm. “It’s okay Dennis, I know you didn’t mean—”
“Mister Hanson!” Giebelhouse admonished in a harsh voice. “We have set procedures that our patients must adhere to and acknowledgement of one’s past indiscretions is paramount to their recovery. So please, allow Dennis to continue.”
Tom could feel his anger rising but he quickly pushed it aside and stepping back, he forced a smile. “Of course Doctor Giebelhouse,” he replied through gritted teeth, “you know best.”
Giebelhouse ignored the sarcasm in Tom’s voice and turning towards Booker, he prodded him in the arm. “Dennis,” he prompted, “I want you to look Tom in the eye and tell him you’re sorry.”
Seconds ticked by before Dennis lifted his head and Tom finally caught a glimpse of the man who haunted his dreams. Dark hair framed a gaunt, pale face and two dull eyes stared lifelessly back at him. Suppressing a gasp of shock, he managed a faltering smile as tears filled his eyes. “Oh Dennis,” he whispered sadly.
If Booker heard the pain in Tom’s voice, he did not acknowledge it; instead, he continued to stare vacantly in front of him. “I’m sorry I raped you,” he muttered in a flat voice.
Overwhelmed by the bizarre apology, Tom did not know how to react and he unwillingly turned to Giebelhouse for support. “Do you accept Dennis’ apology?” Giebelhouse asked him in an officious tone.
Turning back to Dennis, Tom took a deep breath and tried to relax. “Yes,” he murmured, “of course I do.” When Booker lowered his gaze, he stepped forward and this time he managed a genuine smile. “Oh God Dennis, it’s so good to see you.”
Dennis raised his head and stared back at Tom with dead eyes. “Is it?” he asked impassively.
The meeting was not going as Tom had envisioned and he rubbed a nervous hand over his mouth. Doctor Giebelhouse had led him to believe that Dennis was psychologically stable but from what Tom had witnessed in the few short minutes they had been together, he was far from it. He appeared detached, almost unaware of what was going on around him and with each passing minute, Tom became more concerned.
Desperate to connect with the man standing so lost and vulnerable in front of him, Tom reached out and placed his hand on Dennis’ shoulder. “Of course I am,” he replied in a soft voice.
A spark of life flashed in Dennis’ eyes. “Why?” he muttered. “I hurt you. Why do you care what happens to me?”
Tom lowered his hand and chewed furiously on his lower lip as he thought about how to reply. “Yes you did,” he finally admitted. “But I put that behind me a long time ago. You weren’t yourself when you…” He paused for a moment before continuing. “…raped me. I know that and you should too. We were friends and that’s—”
The sound of Doctor Giebelhouse deliberately clearing his throat interrupted his speech and turning around he glared at the portly man. “What?” he snapped irritably.
“It’s time for Dennis’ medication,” the doctor replied in a cold voice.
“That’s it?” Tom exclaimed in frustration. “You tell me to come down here so Dennis and I can reconnect and all we get is five minutes together? That’s fucking bullshit!”
Giebelhouse gave Tom an icy stare. “I’m sorry if we’ve inconvenienced you, but we have a tight schedule here at Rosewood and—”
“Bullshit!” Tom spat back. “You planned it this way so that we wouldn’t have any time together!”
A cruel smile played over Giebelhouse’s lips. “This is an evaluation Mister Hanson. You’d do well to play by the rules or I might decide that Dennis would be better off in a group home.”
Tom felt a deep seething hatred towards the middle-aged man and clenching his fists, he fought to control his emotions. Giebelhouse had the upper hand and as much as he hated to bow down to such a sanctimonious prick, if he wanted Dennis to live with him, he knew he had no choice but to capitulate. “When can I visit again?” he asked in a strained voice.
“Tomorrow at eleven,” Giebelhouse replied curtly and turning dismissively away, he addressed Booker. “Come on Dennis, it’s time to go.”
The small spark had once again faded from Dennis’ eyes and he stared emotionlessly at Tom. “Thanks for coming,” he muttered.
Acting impulsively, Tom stepped forward and pulled his friend into a clumsy hug. He felt Dennis’ body stiffen and letting go, he stepped back and gave him a sad smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
Booker nodded and turning away, he followed Doctor Giebelhouse from the room.
**
As darkness fell and shadows shrouded his tiny room, Booker sat on the bed and tried to clear his muddled mind. The medication Doctor Giebelhouse had prescribed over the last few weeks had affected him differently to his previous medication and he felt as though he was in a permanent state of confusion. He tried to think back to his meeting with Tom but his mind was fuzzy and he could not trust that his memories were real. It puzzled him that the doctor had changed his medication when he thought he had managed to convince him he was feeling better and therefore, ready to be released. Not that he cared, the drugs helped him to stay calm and staying calm would prove that he was ready to leave Rosewood. Of course, even he knew he was not ready to face the big wide world. He was still depressed and disconnected but his pretense was a means to an end. He needed to get out of Rosewood so he could find someone to give him what his mind and body desperately craved; pain, humiliation and sexual stimulation.
Drawing his legs up to his chest, he closed his eyes and resting his forehead on his knees, he dreamed about his Daddy.
**
Tom lay in bed staring glumly up at the ceiling. His short visit to the Rosewood facility had depressed him and once again, a nagging voice whispered in his ear that he was doing the wrong thing by offering to take Booker into his home. He could not deny it, Booker’s behavior did not appear to be that of a stable man and he still could not figure out why Giebelhouse had orchestrated such a short visit. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that Giebelhouse had another agenda. What exactly that agenda could be, he had no idea but something did not seem right.
Sighing heavily, he rolled over and stared at the red luminous numbers of the digital clock on his bedside table. He was due to meet a potential client in four hours but he now wished he had canceled the appointment. His mind was too consumed with thoughts of Dennis to concentrate on someone else’s problems.
Rolling back over, he closed his eyes and tried to relax but images of Dennis’ tortured eyes continued to plague him throughout the rest of the night.
**
The following morning
Doctor Giebelhouse sat in his office and read the previous night’s patient reports. As per his instruction, Dennis had received hourly checks and he smiled to himself when he read that his patient had not had a peaceful night’s sleep. Despite Booker’s beliefs to the contrary, he was well aware that he was being played. Dennis was no further forward in his treatment than he had been a month ago and Giebelhouse had met with his colleagues to discuss obtaining an Involuntary Commitment Order to keep him in Rosewood indefinitely. However, his colleagues had disagreed and without at least one other doctor’s signature, he could not file the paperwork.
But as far as he was concerned, that was not the end of the story. There was no way in hell some little shit was going to make a fool out of him and therefore, he had upped the dosage of medication so that when it was decreased, Dennis’ symptoms would appear more pronounced. Once his colleagues witnessed the decline in Dennis’ mental state, they would have no choice but to agree that he needed further intense treatment and then they would submit the paperwork to a judge who, if in agreement, would sign the order to keep him at Rosewood for another two months, if not longer.
Closing the file, he leaned back in his chair, clasped his hands behind his head and thought back to the previous day’s meeting. Tom Hanson was his pawn and he was counting on him to question Dennis’ suitability to be released. He knew his plan might fail but he was determined to try, not because ethically he was worried about sending a psychologically unpredictable man back into the community, but because he found Dennis' case so fascinating, he did not want to lose the opportunity to study him further.
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- 19
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To Chase a Feather in the Wind