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Sui Generis	By : Macx Category: M through R > Magnificent Seven Views: 1490 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Magnificent Seven, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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TWO
Chimera
The Chimera made her way through the quiet darkness of space. With her dark blue colors and dimmed running lights she was almost invisible to the naked eye. On the small but functional bridge, the pilot adjusted the ship�s flight vector and read over the last control outputs and nodded. Just fine. No problems.
"The next jump sequence is starting in a few minutes,� he reported to the man occupying the command chair. �We�ll be at the coordinates in a few minutes if everything runs smoothly.�
�Thanks, JD.�
Vin Tanner never let his eyes wander away from the main screen where information was flashing at intervals. They were closing in on the small backwater planet, BP-379, fast.
The message that had started this mission had come in over various stations, finally arriving with an Agency outpost a month ago. Travis had called them in and had presented them with a proof of contact with Chris. The contact wasn�t more than a brief message sent by someone who apparently knew Chris, as well as an attachment of quite some interest. The attachment had contained not only a list of names with the Kiowata smugglers, but also passwords, codes, lists of buyers, trade routes, cargo IDs and more. The Agency had checked it all and had come to the surprising conclusion that it was for real.
The code word that had been wrapped into the message had belonged to Chris. According to Buck, no one outside the Chimera team knew it, and not even all of them had heard it before. Meant as a joke between Buck and Chris, Larabee had adopted �stud poker� as his emergency ID in case he needed to get in contact with his men.
Travis hadn�t hesitated any longer. He had given the order to fly to BP-379 and find Chris. The Chimera team had been only too happy to comply. Ever since Chris had disappeared, the men had done everything in their power to find their team leader. Now they had the first real and solid lead.
"Jump in five.... four... three... two... one....." JD counted.
There was a slight increase in engine noise as the trans drive activated, then space around them turned completely black for an instant. JD stared into the darkness, his mind reaching out with every fiber of his being, his body feeling the rhythmic vibrations of the mighty engines as they pushed the ship through a region of space rarely entered before. Trans jumping was a dangerous method of going from point A to B in record time. It was only allowed in emergencies and except for official ships, no cruiser was allowed to use it.
A jolt told him that the Chimera had dropped out of the trans space.
�Not much to look at, hm?�
JD had to agreeas Buck joined the young pilot and gazed at the small planet. It was dominated by brown and green colors, some blue, lots of clouds. A moon, a sun, four sister planets. While it had a breathable atmosphere, the ship�s data base informed them, it was too dry and too far from the trade routes to become a settlement. Those who had come here were looking for peace and quiet away from the bustling space ports or travel routes.
�Deploy scramblers,� Vin ordered.
BP-379 had a few Camera Eye satellites, which were used for planetary observation and forecasts. A long range transmitter had been mounted to one of them, enabling those rich enough to buy themselves the needed equipment to communicate with ships passing by the planet. They were few and far.
�Company,� JD announced.
As if to give proof to the fact, three large ships appeared next to the smaller one. They seemed to bend space around them as they passed out of trans space. The three ships were easily ten times the size of the smaller Chimera.
Buck grinned lop-sidedly. �Where there�s promise of a good quarrel, the Regulators arrive in force.�
�It�s the Hyperion, the Rhea II and the Cyclops,� Dunne identified them.
Vin nodded. �JD, look for the space port the message mentioned. Set us down there. And give me an open com line to Captain Hox of the Hyperion.�
JD did as told and soon the face of a woman in her late forties with dark brown hair appeared. Her face was smooth and unlined, her eyes a clear blue that seemed to see right into one�s soul, and the few streaks of gray in her hair only underlined the authority she radiated.
�Agent Tanner,� she acknowledged Vin�s presence.
�Captain, we�re setting down right at the space port coordinates. I doubt the Chimera will be recognized as an Agency ship, so I�d like you to stay up here until we gave you the signal to go down. I�d like to get an idea of the situation down there first.�
Hox nodded. �I agree. We are still fully cloaked from planetary radar and have detected no satellites or other surveillance so far.�
�Five hours,� Vin added. �That�s as long as I estimate we need to get in and get us a picture. Maybe sooner.�
�Good luck,� Hox said, then terminated the link.
�JD, take us down,� Vin told the pilot and the young man complied.
*
Exactly four hours and thirty-one minutes after the Chimera had landed, the Cyclops touched down. Regulators poured out of the giant ship, taking over law enforcement and legal matters. The crew of the Chimera kept out of their way. They had done all that had been expected of them.
The infiltration and consequential overtaking of the Gateway station had gone as smoothly as expected. They were professionals, all of them, and there had been little resistance from the Handlers and crew of the nerve center of the large complex. With the codes they had received from Chris, JD had been able to access the station mainframe and suspend everything.
Vin looked around the bustling complex. It was the heart of the planet, consisting of several levels driven deeply into the planet, and a huge expanse of stables and corrals. Kiowata were moving inside the corrals, curiously watching the commotion.
It hadn�t taken them very long to find the man in charge of the station and convince him that surrender was better than fighting the Regulators, who had decloaked their other ships just a few minutes earlier. Following up on the reliable information they had gotten, Vin had asked Hox to send out teams to the ranches listed in one of the files. Those Handlers who were willing to cooperate had been teamed up with Regulators to go to where the heads of the organization were hiding. All traffic off planet was currently intercepted by the two remaining Regulator ships.
�So what now?� Buck asked as he surveyed the area, squinting in the early morning sunlight. �How do we find Chris?�
Good question, Vin thought. Very good question.
Their friend and commander was on this planet somewhere. He had sent them a coded message through someone else, which worried Vin to some extent. Why hadn�t Chris been able to contact them on his own? And where was he? A prisoner on some undiscovered sub-level? The man in command of the Gateway had assured them that there were no prison facilities.
So where was Chris?
* * *
So that's them, Ezra thought, secretly assessing the two men who were currently standing at the corrals outside the Gateway station. One was Vin Tanner, the other Buck Wilmington. Tanner had to be about his age, Ezra mused, possibly a year or two younger. He was short, dark hair, had a stubble in his face, and was dressed in the Agency�s official uniform. There was no mistaking the slight bulge under the jacket where the service weapon was hidden. From Chris Ezra had gathered that Tanner was a quiet man, able to fade into the background of a group quite easily, and that he was Chris's second-in-command.
Wilmington was larger than Tanner, dark-haired, sporting a mustache, and there was an easy-going nature around him that wasn't completely drowned by the worried tension he radiated as his eyes roamed over the animals locked in the corral. Somehow, from what Chris had told him about his oldest friend, Ezra had formed almost exactly this image of the renowned ladies' man. There wasn't an Agency office where women didn't talk about the man, or a space port where not at least five members of the female persuasion were waiting for Wilmington to pay them a visit. Like Tanner he was in uniform, though he had taken off his jacket.
Well, he had to find out if they were who he thought they should be. Chris was hidden near-by, eager to meet with his team, but Ezra had to make sure this wasn't a trap. He had kept Chris safe for months; he had sworn to uphold his end of the bargain. It was time for the final step.
He had heard of the arrival of an Agency ship, as well as Regulator troop transporters, while risking a quick trip to the next settlement. Short wave radios were blasting the news all over the frequencies. Ezra had felt a moment of elation, then the severity of what the future held crashed in. Steeling himself, carefully schooling his features, he had returned to Chris, delivering the news. His partner had barely been able to contain his anxiety to get to the station.
Now they were here.

"Mr. Vin Tanner?"
Vin turned and came face to face with a man in a tan leather jacket, dark, worn looking pants and boots. Vivid green eyes gave him a careful once-over and despite the friendly, almost charming smile, Vin detected a certain tenseness in him. This man was ready to beat a hasty retreat if anything happened that would threaten him.
"Yes. Who wants to know?" Vin answered.
Buck joined him, shooting the smaller man a wary but curious look.
"You are the second-in-command of the Chimera team? The Agency?" the stranger asked instead of answering.
"That's right." Vin raised an eyebrow, silently asking the unanswered question again.
"My name is Ezra Standish. A mutual friend sent me. We have been in contact before."
Vin frowned. He couldn't recall an Ezra Standish. Standish saw his dubious expression and gave him a dimpled smile.
"We never talked face to face. I functioned as a messenger. Because of that I have to ascertain your identity."
"Huh?" Buck asked. "Whoa, wait.... You're talking about Chris? You know where he is?"
"Maybe."
"We have IDs," Vin told their 'messenger'.
"They can be faked."
"Not Agency IDs," Buck insisted.
Ezra flashed them a grin. "Believe me, they can."
A frown answered that statement.
"So, what you wanna do?" Vin inquired. "DNA check?"
"No. I'd like to have some questions answered. If you answer them to me satisfaction, I'm to reveal the information you seek."
"I'm not going to play question and answer games!" Buck snapped. Vin shot him a sharp look, but Wilmington ignored him. "If you know where Chris is, spill it!"
"Or what?" Ezra asked, voice taking on a dangerous tone.
"Buck," Vin said silently.
"He knows where Chris is and he's playing for time!" Buck erupted. "What if he's hurt? Or worse? You want a reward?"
Ezra's eyes narrowed. "Somehow, I should have known that you're all alike."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Buck towered over the smaller man, a menacing expression in his eyes.
"Buck, that's enough," Vin ordered quietly.
Wilmington glared at Ezra. "He knows."
"Even if I do, your display of strength won't inspire me to reveal the information before I have the proof. "
"I can throw you in the next best prison cell to prove who I am!" Buck growled.
That annoying grin was back. "You don't get my point, now do you?"
The larger man advanced again. Vin sighed silently to himself.
Ever since Chris had disappeared, Buck had feared the worst. Larabee had gone undercover to get an idea where the Kiowata had been smuggled from, where the secret breeding grounds were. For a week, the team had been in contact with their leader. Then the contact had abruptly been broken. They couldn't charge forward and turn everything upside down, due to the fear of blowing their chances to find hard evidence. In the beginning Buck had feverishly combed every inch of the asteroid Chris had last been seen. Then he had insisted to follow even the tiniest clue, to set all the man-power the Agency had on this case; the request had been denied. It hadn't stopped him and Vin had agreed to continue the search while also working on their still active case.
When finally, after months, the encrypted message had come in, with Chris's personal code, sending them not only the position of this planet but also a lot of incriminating data, Buck had started to live again. Currently, his friend was in a rather volatile state, something that didn't last long but could do a lot of damage.
Vin was about to intervene when something unforeseen occurred. Actually, several things happened. Ezra had moved away from Buck, still smiling that obnoxious smile, while Buck was about to blow a blood vessel if the other taunted him any further. Vin saw it as it was: a game. Standish took great pleasure in riling up Wilmington. But his retreat was stopped by a larger man behind him, who dropped a hand onto his shoulder.
"New friend, Buck?" Josiah asked pleasantly.
Ezra whirled around and there was a flash of fear in his eyes. Vin understood the reaction since Josiah was an impressive man to meet, but he would never have suspected the events to unfold as they did. Buck grabbed Ezra and propelled him against a wall, keeping him pinned down.
"Now we talk!"
"Let go of me," Standish said, voice flat.
"So you can run?"
Cold green eyes flared, meeting mocking blue ones. "One last warning."
"And then you'll kick me in the shins?"
There was a soft clicking noise and Buck suddenly tensed. Vin saw light reflect off a small throwing knife that was now pressed against Buck's ribs.
"Buck!" Vin snapped. "Let him go!"
Wilmington was about to reply when thundering hoof beats could be heard. Something large and black rushed toward the cluster of men.
"Holy....!" was all Buck managed as he threw himself aside. The sharp hooves barely missed him.
Vin's eyes widened as he realized what was standing between Wilmington and Standish. It was a large, black Kiowata, unsaddled, no halter, unclipped. Its dark eyes were wide, the nostrils flaring. Its ears turned like little radar dishes and it pranced nervously. Buck got to his feet, careful to keep away from the huge animal. Josiah had gotten himself to safety, too. Only Ezra had remained where he was. Now he walked forward and put a hand onto the strong neck, patting it gently.
"He yours?" Vin asked, intrigued.
The dimpled grin was back. "Actually, he's yours."

Ezra hadn't been aware of badly he had sent his sudden panic down the bond toward Chris until the Kiowata had come charging toward the group. It had been a momentary lapse in emotional control and he had regretted it the very instant he had caught sight of his partner. Chris had reacted out of protective instinct; the Kiowata had merged with the human side and had overruled logical thinking. He unconsciously reached up and patted the warm, black skin. Chris's emotions were racing across the link, the Kiowata rather dominant. Ezra sent calming thoughts back, telling the animal side that he was okay. It was flattering and embarrassing to be the center of protectiveness, but it had also sparked a warm feeling inside him. Kojay had called the connection a Bond and in a way, Ezra saw it as such. Their link had turned into something so strangely familiar and eerily beautiful, Ezra was sometimes afraid what consequences it would have for their future.
"What?" Buck sputtered at Ezra's declaration.
"I think I can assume that you are the people we were looking for," Ezra said pleasantly.
<They are> Chris told him. He had finally managed to get control over his Kiowata instincts. <You just met Buck at his best bull-in-a-china-shop behavior>
<And he's an undercover Agent?>
<He works for section 7, he is on my team, but he was never good at undercover work. Buck's more of a surveillance type>
Ezra sent a snort of disbelief, trying to picture Wilmington on stake-outs. Aloud he said, "At least he trusts you, though I wonder why." The last was accompanied with a slightly acid undertone and leveled at Buck. "Mr. Tanner, you are second-in-command, I was told."
Vin nodded slowly, apparently trying to figure out what was going on.
"May I introduce? Special Agent Chris Larabee, though he went through an unfortunate transformation." He gave the broad neck another pat.

Buck's mouth fell open as he stared at the Kiowata, which now almost playfully snapped at Standish's fingers as he continued to pat it.
Chris? A Kiowata?
His colleagues weren�t any less shocked.
"Chris?" Buck stammered.
The Kiowata gave a snort.
"I'm afraid he can't really talk in any way you might understand," Ezra said, smiling.
"But you do?" Vin queried.
A brief nod. "It's a knack." Another grin.
"What happened?" Tanner asked.
"Long story and if you want all the details, I'd advice you to acquire one of the translators the Handlers use. They work wonders."
Josiah nodded at Vin, silently telling him he'd see what he could do about getting one.
"Hot damn," Buck mumbled, looking Chris up and down. "I always knew you were a stud, pard, but this is a bit extreme, even for you!"
The Kiowata's ears flattened and a growl emerged from the large animal.
"But hey," Wilmington went on, ignoring the warning signs. "Bet none of them sweet little mares could resist you."
Chris snapped at Buck, missing him by inches. The large man jumped back, laughing, but kept a nervous eye on the black animal nevertheless.
"I'm not sure how familiar you are with Kiowata body language, Mr. Wilmington," Ezra supplied. "Or how well you know Kiowata-human minds, especially those aware of what they really are. Sometimes the Kiowata takes over, mostly under emotional strain." He grinned. "I'd advise not to irk him. He might even kick."
"Ah, old Chris knows me."
"I have no doubt, but the Kiowata doesn't, really."
Vin approached carefully, a light smile on his lips. "Hey, Chris." The Kiowata's ears went forward and the nostrils opened wide, blowing warm air out. Vin's smile widened. "Good to see you again."
�Is that an ear ring?� Buck piped, grinning as he discovered the silvery tag.
Chris�s ears flattened again and another growl escaped him. Josiah arrived a few minutes later, carrying three translators. Ezra faded into the background as contact was finally established, a faint smile on his lips that didn't reach his eyes.
* * *
So this was it. It was over. A slight pain stabbed through Ezra as he watched the bustle of men and animals, and he bit his lower lip. He had made his decision and he knew it was the only way. Chris didn't belong here, just like Ezra. If not for that unfortunate attempt of industrial espionage where he had bitten off more than he could chew, he wouldn't be here at all. Ezra knew he should be happy to be able to return to his real life, but the darkness inside him only grew.
He had committed the worst crime he could think of: he had let his guard down. He shouldn't have let his compassion get the better of him; he shouldn't have let the bond blossom. When had it happened? When had he surrendered control to something as unreliable as his emotions? And why because of an Agent? Why Larabee? There was no answer forthcoming.
Now Chris was with his friends, soon to be gone. And he, Ezra Standish, was sitting lost and alone in the middle of nowhere. Life had changed for a lot of people, for many Kiowata, since the Agency had finally arrived, but his own life had shattered. He didn�t understand half of his actions, in the past and in the present. Something had driven him, and it still did. Only now, Ezra was fighting it.
With a deep sigh he turned away and made his way to the stables. His saddle was where he had put it; his belongings were in the saddle bag. All he had ever needed, all he would be able to take. Ezra didn�t know what he planned to do now. The planet was swarming with Regulators, so lying low was one step. He would have to wait, bide his time, and then con his way onto a transporter. He still wanted to leave the planet, but right now, the need to be as far away from here as possible was greater.
The thief looked around, running his eyes over the assembled horses.
"Ezra?"
Startled by the voice, Ezra whirled around. I'm losing it, he thought. I didn't even hear him approach.
Walking into the stables was Buck Wilmington, the man who, three days ago, had attacked him out of worry. Three days.... It seemed like an eternity.
"You okay?"
Why does he ask? Ezra busied himself with the saddle. "Yes. I'm fine."
"Taking a ride?"
"I can't see why it's any of your business, but yes, I'm taking a ride."
Buck gave him a curious look. "Chris's scheduled for transformation any time now. Thought you'd might want to be there."
"My part in this play ended three days ago, Mr. Wilmington." Ezra chose a chestnut gelding and started to saddle him.
Wilmington sat down on a bale of hay. "Listen, Ezra, I have to apologize for what I did. I wasn't thinking straight. Normally, I'm not like that." He smiled sheepishly. "Kinda lost it. Just wanted to tell you that. I waited for you to show up around the station, but you were never around....."
"I was busy." Ezra turned to the horse. "Hey, boy. What's your name?" He almost expected an answer.
In the back of his mind, the bond seemed to whisper insistently. Ezra had no idea why, but he wanted to be far, far away from here by the time Chris was human again.
"So... whatcha running from, Ez?"
The question, the change of topic, startled him.
Myself, he thought, refusing to say it out loud. "I'm not running, just taking a break from boredom."
Buck chuckled. "If you say so. Just too bad you're taking yourself with you on this trip."
Ezra looked up, meeting the lively blue eyes, and bit down on a reply. It's hard not to, the thought.
"Because when fleeing from yourself you have to know where to run, Ezra."
"Mr. Wilmington, I have no idea what you're talking about, so please stop using riddles." Ezra patted the gelding and gave it a sugar cube.
Buck leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. "I don't know all that happened between you and Chris out there, but I know Chris mighty well. We're old friends. Chris wouldn't talk about you as he does if you were just some two-bit help he picked up; you saved him, Ezra. He will want to talk to you once he is back to his human self."
"I severely doubt that." He led his mount out of the stables. "I upheld my end of the bargain. I'm no longer of any service, nor does he need further help."
Buck regarded him thoughtfully. The tingling feeling turned into a constant whisper and Ezra felt a bit nauseous. It was over. Everything. Chris back with his friends, where he belonged. He had fulfilled his �duty�. The whispers had turned into a slight pressure inside his head, like an approaching headache and he sighed silently. Just what he needed.
"If you'll excuse me, Mr. Wilmington, I need some fresh air."
With that he lightly kicked the chestnut and rode off, ignoring the whispers, ignoring the man. He had to get away from here.
If leaving was the only solution left to him, why was it so painful? Pushing the sensations from the link out of his mind, he concentrated on where he would go from here.
* * *
Chris sat on the medical bed, gazing at his hand. Fingers, sunburned skin stretching over the muscles and bones. Flexible. No hoof. An almost silly smile flew over his lips and he moved his fingers, enjoying the feel. He was back; human. Himself. After a year of being a Kiowata, he was human again.
"Five fingers. Any more and I'd be worried." Vin sauntered into the medical room, smiling. "Good to have you back for real, Chris."
"It's good to be back," Chris agreed, still eyeing his hands and then his feet.
"Everyone's waiting to see the results." Vin gave him a critical once-over. "Seems everything's back where it belongs. Any lingering effects? Craving for grass? Want to gallop into the sunset?"
Chris laughed. "No. It's just slightly strange, is all." He slipped off the bed and found the first problem. "Whoa!"
"Just two legs, cowboy."
Yes, two legs and a million problems because of them. His center of balance was still off and he had grown very much used to coordinating four limbs instead of two. This would take a while.
They left the examination room and walked through the maze of corridors that made up the medical wing of the station. The Gateway station contained the labs that had been used to transform humans into Kiowata. According to his men, a lot what they had discovered should remain under wraps, and Chris agreed. There was a steady stream of Kiowata coming in, waiting their turn to become their human self again. Those who had triggered their own memories were first. The others who still behaved like the animals they were would have to wait.
Guy Royal had disappeared. His ranch had been taken over by Regulators, but except for his men, no one had been found. The man behind it all, one of the heads of the smugglers, was gone. As much as it angered Chris, he knew they had broken apart a very large network. Even though the data inside Royal�s computer was mostly destroyed, they had enough on the small compact disc Ezra had taken with him to set every law enforcement officer on Royal�s trail.
When they finally exited the building, Chris drew in a breath. He hadn't been aware of how artificial the air had felt inside until he had just stepped into the open. His spirits seemed to soar, his soul yearning to run, to stretch his legs, and for a fleeting moment he felt like he was back in Kiowata form.

//The weather had improved since last night. The rain had ceased and the winds had turned into a gentle breeze, carrying the smell of salt and wet earth, as well as of winter. This year it would be early and promised to be quite cold. He stretched and moved carefully down the steep cliff, using the path that had been trodden into the muddy ground. His sharp hooves left deep imprints in the mud, but the soggy earth slid into the holes and covered his traces neatly. He arrived safely in the valley and looked around, noticing how the river had grown through the rain, not yet turning wild, but one more night of rain and it would. He smiled and trotted down the river bank, feeling the breeze whip through his mane, running along his smooth, streamlined body. His trot turned into a gallop and he stretched his legs, eating up the distance. He stopped after some time, his nostrils opening, air escaping with a hiss. He felt good today!
<Chris?>
Exhilarated from the early morning run, he turned, prancing, ears pricked forward. He discovered the by now familiar figure of his partner.//

"Chris?"
�Hm?� Larabee blinked and shook his head. "Side effects."
His second-in-command nodded. "You okay out here?"
More than okay, Chris thought, nodding. Perfect.
The perfection was disturbed by a strange feeling coursing through him, something that had been buried deep inside his mind but was now breaking its way to the surface. A sensation that was associated with someone ...
Ezra ...
He didn't notice that he had spoken out the name.
"Mind filling me in who he is?" Vin asked in his usual, quiet manner.
Chris rubbed his forehead. "Ezra? He's a lot of things. Arrogant, stubborn, sarcastic, too proud for his own good sometimes, sneaky, and he gets into more trouble because he doesn't know when to shut up than Buck at a women's convention."
"Sounds like he'd feel right at home with us," Vin commented, which earned him a frown.
"He's also someone I owe a lot." Chris looked thoughtful. "A friend, who happens to be a con; pretty good, too. His skill saved us more than once, either from starvation or freezing in the cold. I don't know why, but I trusted him with my life. Still do. We.... share a bond."
Vin gave him a slightly surprised look. Chris knew more about his second-in-command than anyone else on this team and, aside from Travis, in the Agency. Tanner had lived among the natives of a small moon around Ihj for a study project and had returned to them year after year even after the end of his college terms. He had developed a strong friendship with one particular man and he had called it a soul bond. Two people who shared the same wavelengths, Vin had explained. They understood their respective partners without speaking and had complimented each other.
Vin was a complex, many-layered man who understood humanity and the human psyche a lot better than anyone would give him credit for. Chris had caught him and Josiah more than once as they discussed philosophical aspects of civilization compared to what was called 'wilderness'. Because of it and because of his own experience, Larabee knew his friend understood this situation better than anyone ever would.
�Deeply?� Vin now inquired.
Chris frowned thoughtfully. Before he could answer, someone interrupted them.
"There you are!"
Chris turned and gave the dark-skinned man who now hurried over to them a broad smile. "Hello, Nathan."
Nathan scowled. "You shouldn't be out here!"
"I'm not about to have a relapse."
"No, but I need to check some of your data again. How do you feel?"
Dr. Nathan Jackson was their very own medic, as well as a member of the Chimera team. While he did normal Agency work, he slipped into doctor mode whenever one of the others got hurt.
"Human," Chris answered.
Jackson chuckled. "I hope so. According to this," he held up a scanner, "you are. A few of your bodily functions are a bit off, but that should all realign itself in the next hours or days. Something that surprises me is the heightened brain activity in your frontal lobes."
Vin gave their friend a curious look. "Translation?" he asked.
"Wish I knew. In most humans, these areas are dormant. Maybe it's a result of the transformation and it'll quiet down as well. Do you feel anything out of the ordinary?"
Chris frowned. "For example?"
Nathan shrugged. "I don't know. Anything. Though considering how you spent the last months, a lot of the sensations a human body has will be different to you. That's one of the adjustments you will go through."
"Maybe it's the bond," Vin suggested quietly.
Chris shot him a sharp look, but his second simply returned it in his usual, quiet manner. Apparently he thought it was something Larabee needed to share with the medic.
"Bond?" Nathan echoed. "What bond?"
He sighed. Great. How could he explain it to Jackson without ending up a guinea pig with a dozen electrodes attached to his head? He launched into a brief tale about how he had met Ezra and what had transpired between them. Both Vin and Nathan listened carefully.
"I haven't seen him since I nearly ran over Buck. He was there, but I didn't notice that he disappeared, and then events sped up as I could make myself understood through the translator." Chris felt embarrassment rush through him. "Buck insisted I'd be one of the first to be turned back. I was so relieved.... I forgot. How could I?" The last was said with a lot of self-loathing.
"It's only natural that you would latch onto the relief and happiness," Nathan told him.
"But it's not natural to ignore something that connected Ezra and me for months! This isn't like some two-way radio I can switch off, Nathan. It's a connection between us."
"So the guy is a con-man and thief who saved your life, and the two of you share an empathic connection?" Vin's eyes twinkled.
Chris grimaced. A year ago he would have thrown Ezra into the next available holding cell to be prosecuted. Things had changed. "More than empathic, Vin," he answered. "Much more."
Tanner gave him a knowing look, but he didn�t say anything.
"Hm," Nathan made thoughtfully. "I'll have to get some more data from the transformation machines, and I want a brain scan done of you, Chris. This is intriguing."
Larabee rolled his eyes. "I was afraid of that. But before you do that, I need to find Ezra. We need to talk."
"I thought you had a connection?"
A sigh. "We had it while I was Kiowata. Now, it's... muted. I think it has to adjust as well." He didn't want to even think about losing the link. Much to his own surprise, Chris had grown quite used to the presence in his mind. "Whatever he's up to, I need to find him."
"Where do we start? You have a whole planet to choose from." Vin gave him a questioning look.
Chris sighed. Simple question, difficult answer. He looked up the gray, metal wall of he station.
"Here," he then finally said.
* * *
"He's gone." Chris' voice was toneless as he tried to comprehend what he had just found out.
Ezra was gone. He had left the Gateway station. No good-bye, no explanation.
Does he need one? a small voice asked.
No, not really.
The pain of loss was raw in Chris�s soul and he felt like something important had been ripped from him. Buck looked at him with an almost guilty expression, but Larabee couldn't fault him. His friend had known that Ezra had left on horse-back, but since he had been caught up in Regulator matters, he had simply forgotten to alert Chris to the thief's absence. Wilmington had done his job as a liaison to the new law on this planet, all that had been expected of him.
It had taken Chris too long to realize that what he felt wasn't just the yearning to be back outside in the wilderness again, that the craving wasn't just the need to run and be free. He had singled out the point of the most intense sensation and found it to be the bond. He had thought it would be severed when he turned human, that it had been part of the Kiowata, but he had been wrong. Since then it had only been a matter of time till he had discovered that Ezra had disappeared.
Chris was ashamed to admit that he had given him little thought actually. He had been too relieved to be back, to be human again, though he had found out there were a few more side-effects that would linger. He had spent a lot of time with his team before he had been changed back, had been debriefed and had caught up on what had happened while he had actually been gone.
And I never lost a thought about Ezra.
For the first time in so many months, Chris had felt human again, and he had enjoyed it. It wasn't a crime, but he had so conveniently forgotten that there had been a vital part of him missing.
Vin raised an inquiring eyebrow.
"He left the station. He is not responding to the bond somehow." Chris felt like he was sinking as the full implications hit him.
Nathan had been all over him with scans and medical tests. The results had been astounding and frightening in one. The connection between him and Ezra wasn't the result of a Kiowata meeting a human. Kiowata weren't natural empaths. In Nathan's professional opinion, and because Chris had explained that Ezra was Borderline, the very genes that set Standish apart from other humans had made him connect to Chris. Why exactly with him was a puzzle, but Chris's mind had accepted the offered connection and had integrated it into itself. Through the transformation from Kiowata back to human, Chris had taken the bond along, but it had weakened. It was starting to show. Chris was more jumpy, irritable and he was nervous for no apparent reason.
"Ezra triggered you," Nathan had explained. "He gave you back humanity, most likely because he is a latent empath. The first time you met, he unconsciously set you free. I doubt he knows it. He stabilized you and you gave him a point of balance. Now that you are human again, the connection is in danger of unraveling." A serious expression had been in the dark eyes. "Chris, I'm not sure what it'll do to you. Your brain patterns changed significantly because of Ezra."
Chris didn't want to find out. He and Vin would look for Standish, even if they had to turn the planet upside down.
"How do you want to find him?" It was a reasonable question, but also one very hard to answer.
Chris had a faraway expression in his eyes. "The bond," he finally said.
Vin nodded, accepting the statement with his usual calm demeanor. "How well can you use it to pinpoint his position?"
"No clue. When it was just the two of us, out there, I had a pretty good idea where he was all the time. It was like a reassuring background hum and I could home in on it. Now..." Chris looked slightly helpless.
"From what you told me about him, he wouldn't leave civilization now that he found it," Vin mused out loud, "so he'll be in one of the towns. We could wait for him to get into trouble," he added with a grin. "That would get us to him faster."
Chris grimaced. "And it would most likely get him dead. He's a con and thief, Vin. We met while he was beating a hasty retreat from a bunch of people out for his blood."
"Point taken. So we search through the settlements?"
"Yep. It's the best lead we have."
"Might take a while. Travis won't be happy."
Larabee's eyes darkened. "Screw Travis! Ezra is a part of me and I'm not leaving without him!"
Vin smiled calmly, nodding. "I know." With that he walked over to the stables.
Chris frowned and then followed him. They would have to inform the others, get horses, food and a map. He would find Ezra, whatever it took and however long. He just would.
* * *
It had taken them nearly a week to get to this place, no thanks to the fluctuating bond. By the time they arrived in Edge, a small town at the very edge of the Glass Fields, Chris was feeling irritable to no end. Something was happening to the bond and it didn't feel very good. It was getting more unstable, as if one side was about to break completely, and he knew that those feelings accurately described the current situation. Ezra was running, hiding, trying to close the connection he had to Chris, and it was driving them both insane.
Vin had decided to keep an eye on things happening on the streets. Chris was glad he had come along, even though Larabee had protested that he would be able to find Ezra alone. The week on the lookout for the thief had shown him that if he had been alone, he would most likely be dead by now. His temper was short, his emotions were boiling, and the pressure in the back of his mind was increasing steadily.
No one gave much of a notice as Chris entered the local bar. People were drinking, laughing, playing games or bargaining with each other over goods. Chris felt the familiar twang of the bond, this time a tenfold from what he had had in the last few days. Ezra was here. In this very room. And he intended to find him, drag him out of here by force if necessary. Chris continued looking around until his eyes fell on a figure hiding in the shadows.

At this time of the day, the bar was almost empty, except for the town's regular drunks, and Ezra Standish. The thief took no notice of the men around him, except to size them up, categorize them, and discard them as no immediate danger to his person. The town he had sought refuge in was tiny, consisting of little more than a boarding house, a bar, some stores, and a hotel with a restaurant. He didn't mind the filthy appearance of it, the ever-present dust and backwater atmosphere. It was a place to lay low, to hide, to spend a few hours gambling, wiling away the day. It also fit his melancholic mood.
Ezra knew he was drunk. Not dead drunk, but enough to ignore the place in his mind where the bond was screaming at him. Enough to ignore the black hole that was just waiting for him to stumble and fall. Half a bottle of the local rotgut had already found its way down into his empty stomach and he was planning to introduce the rest to his system as well. It would most likely knock him out, but that would at least give him a few hours of peace. The hangover would be hell, but even that was preferable to the constant ache. He had blown it, screwed up, made mistakes. He should have left this hell hole of a planet, but he hadn't. He should have fled, but he had only stumbled and fallen. Now he sat in a dusty bar, drinking himself to oblivion, and he knew things would only get worse soon. If he wasn't such a coward, he would have accepted the ultimate solution to his problems.
The bond seemed to scream louder, even through the alcoholic daze, and he forced it back out of his consciousness. It was getting increasingly more difficult to do so with every day. He prayed Chris didn't have the same problems, that the man was free, off the planet, with his friends. Looking into the mirror over the bar, Ezra caught his reflection and winced away at the man who looked back. He grabbed the bottle and quickly drank some more, the liquid burning in his throat. Slipping off the stool, he unsteadily went over to the table farthest away from the bar and the mirror.
A new arrival caught his attention. The man was tall, slender, with blond hair and intense dark eyes. He was dressed in black, wearing a long coat covered in the ever-present dust of the wilderness outside. The stranger looked around the room, apparently searching for someone.
Handler? Ezra thought fuzzily. Law?
There was a powerful aura around him, demanding his attention. Ezra shrunk back deeper into the shadows. He knew he was still a criminal; no amount of time spent alongside Chris, trying to right the wrong, be a hero, could change that. They had kicked off the small stone that had turned into an avalanche, but that didn't change Ezra. It didn't make him any less guilty of his past crimes than before. He was a thief, a cheat, a con man, and he would do it again in a heart beat to earn money and live the good life.
Except that now he heard echoes of Chris Larabee in his mind, telling him he could do better. Curse the man. Curse the bond. But Ezra couldn't take his eyes off the blond man, feeling something inside of him shiver. Shock coursed through him. What was going on here? Was he already losing it?
But the yearning grew, the bond reacting painfully to the presence. It was time to get out of this establishment, hide in his room or the local livery, and then ride on. The black dressed man slowly crossed the floor of the bar room. Suddenly his head whipped around and he stared straight at Ezra. Standish shrunk back, he gaze penetrating the layers of alcohol for one clear moment and he felt the pain threaten to suffocate him. The intense eyes seemed to burn into his mind, the high-strung feeling increasing. The man walked over to his table, gazing at Ezra, then his eyes flickered over the by now almost empty bottle.
"Trying to kill yourself?"
What is it to you? Ezra thought blearily, trying to tear his eyes away from the darker ones. It was increasingly hard to hear his own thoughts over the noise in the back of his mind.
The man picked up the bottle, studied the label, then took a swig. He grimaced.
"Y're payin' fo' that," Ezra managed, voice slurred. He was more inebriated that he had thought.
"As will you, Ezra. This stuff tastes terrible."
How did he know his name?
The pressure behind his eyes multiplied. Shit, the alcohol was really getting to him.
"Leave me alone!" he snarled, pushing back his chair. Getting to his feet was difficult. He staggered past the blond and headed for the door.
<Ezra>
One word. The bond sang in response to the mind-to-mind communication and Ezra felt almost dizzy. He had missed the presence; dearly. The whispers multiplied, but he violently shoved them into the box he had kept locked ever since he had returned to the Gateway station, ever since he had left Chris to his friends.
Inside him, everything was in turmoil. His mind was screaming at him to get away, that staying would be a bad idea. But his soul...
Ezra fled out of the bar, but didn't get very far. The alcohol in his blood hit him full force and he fell against the wall, nauseous
<Ezra>
The voice again. So familiar it made him sob with need, but also the source of his pain.
"Leave me alone!" he demanded, pure panic rising up inside him. He found it suddenly hard to breathe as all those sensations washed over his body.
The blond man had followed him outside. Dark eyes gazed at him. Familiar. So familiar. Ezra had never known Chris's human look, only the Kiowata. Now he saw him for the first time and recognition hit him between the eyes. Taller than him, older by maybe ten years, not as compact as Standish's frame. There were lines in the sunburned face that spoke of pain and need, the eyes burning with something Ezra wanted himself, and he felt his own response. It cut deep into his already torn soul.
Chris approached the agitated thief and he stumbled back, almost as if fearing the other. Ezra shook in anger at Larabee's stubbornness and let the alcohol guide his actions. Their eyes met and emotions sparked wildly.
�Do you know what I went through because of you?� he spat. �Do you even realize what you did to me?�
�Ezra�.�
Open fury crossed the pale features.
�I gave you everything! Everything! I have no idea why, but�. I nearly starved because of you! I was threatened, attacked and beaten! I suffered blinding headaches because you came down with a colic! I had to endure your temper tantrums, your high and mighty attitude! Your arrogance! You might think it was hard to have only me to talk to, but I had you in my head, Larabee! I still have!� The last words were uttered in near-hysteria. �Why don�t you go back to your world, Commander? Why don�t you finally leave me alone?�
�Ezra, I can�t�.� Chris said softly.
�The hell you can! Get on your ship, get out of my life!�
�Not that easy.�
�Easy?� He laughed maniacally. �It is easy. Just leave! Go away!� Ezra was almost blind with rage. He took a swing at the taller man, which, though surprising Chris, went rather wide. The blond caught the fist easily, strong fingers curling around it. "Go away," Ezra repeated pleadingly. �I don�t want this. I�m not different. Please� go�.�
<No> Chris answered, holding the desperate gaze. �You don�t know why you almost died for me, I don�t know why I can�t leave you here.� <You might not want it, but you have it, Ez>
Ezra struggled feebly. Darkness crept at the edge of his vision and his mind was going into a fast decline of terror and abject misery.
<Fool> he whispered, then his eyes rolled up in his head and he collapsed. Chris caught him easily.

Vin walked up to where Chris was gently holding the unconscious form in his arms. "He okay?"
Chris shook his head. "No. Neither of us." He let his gaze wander over the almost deserted street and fall on the boarding house. "Let's get a room."
Vin nodded. "I'll let the others know we found him."
* * *
Chris sat on the chair next to Ezra's bed, watching the younger man, taking note of the fine lines of pain, the exhaustion so vividly displayed on the sleeping face, and he noticed the signs of weight loss.
Not again, he thought in desperation. Ezra had stopped taking care of himself once before and Chris wouldn't let him go through that again. He remembered the haunted look in those familiar green eyes as Standish had recognized him. Haunted... hunted.... In pain and desperate to end it all.
No! Chris felt his own body shake. He wouldn't let it happen. He wouldn't let Ezra go, no matter what. The last months had changed him, had made him aware of something he had missed for so long and finally found. His whole training went against these feelings, but it had no chance when it came to instinctive reaction.
Shame rose again. He had been so selfish, he had forgotten about the very man he owed his life and sanity to. He had ignored the bond, he had ignored the man who seemed to be a complimenting piece of himself. Chris nearly chuckled. Him and Ezra complimenting each other? Most of the time it was like fire and ice. They were complete opposites in so many ways, but they had managed not to kill each other while working together on BP-379. It still amazed him.
<So sorry, Ez> he murmured.
The link between them whispered again and this time, Chris felt a strange tingle throughout his whole body. He thought he saw his skin ripple, as if trying to shape into something new. He gazed at it in wonder, but suddenly it stopped and the bond quieted down. Nathan had told him that he had retained something from his Kiowata existence. Chris started to realize just what that might be.
And I need you to help me, Ezra, he thought desperately.

Vin entered the room, shooting his friend a silent, inquiring look. They both never needed too many words to understand the other, which had nothing to do with telepathy. It was a kind of understanding neither could explain.
"Asleep," Chris said softly.
"Buck told me not to hurry. They got everything under control. Want me to go back as well?"
"I'd appreciate it if you'd stay."
Tanner nodded, not asking for a reason. He didn't need one.
*
He woke to a tremendous headache. His tongue felt like cotton wool, and if it had grown in size. Pain pulsed behind his eyes, soon joined by the sickness spreading from his stomach. Fragments of memories came back. Getting dead drunk in a bar. Ezra groaned and rolled onto his side, his stomach heaving. He clenched his teeth, refusing to give in to the need to throw up. It was undignifying.
Something wonderfully cold was placed into his neck, spreading through his cramped muscles, and he gave a little sigh. A hand started to massage his shoulders, loosening tight coils. He tried to attach a name to the gentle touch, but failed.
A faint hum in the back of his mind announced the reawakening bond as it fought through the alcoholic haze. And with it, the presence close to him grew familiar. Ezra's eyes snapped open and he immediately shut them again. The light lancing through his eyes was extremely painful. The hands rubbed a soothing pattern on his back.
"Go away," he moaned weakly. "The bond is no more. Leave!"
<Liar> Chris retorted.
Ezra shivered at the mind-touch. Why did Larabee have to do this? It was like a nameless terror waiting for him to falter, it was his worst nightmare. Ever since a childhood experience had confirmed that he was Borderline, ever since he had known he had defective genes, he had been afraid of the developing powers. Yes, they had helped him. They made him such a good con, but in the end, when all was stripped away, they were nothing but trouble. He had successfully pushed it all away while he and Chris had been together, trying to find a way off this world. He had hoped, prayed, that the bond would die with Chris�s transformation back into a human.
"Chris.... please... don�t."
"Why did you run?"
It was the first time he consciously heard Chris's human voice. It was a dark, smooth, with a few rough edges. The bond sang softly, pushing Ezra into turning his head. He gazed at the dark-clad man.
"I didn't," he mumbled.
"You didn't say good-bye. You just left."
Standish swallowed. Chris's hands never ceased their gentle massage. Each movement eradicated more and more of his defenses, the walls he had so desperately sought to rebuild.
<The bond didn't break. We still have it. I can feel it, right now. It's painful> Larabee murmured.
Ezra evaded the dark eyes, trying to gather his defenses back around him. "It will break with time and distance."

Standish looked up, desperation on his features. "How... how can you accept this.... abhorring link? You! You should be freaked beyond words! Running from it!"
"Maybe I should, yes," Chris conceded. "But it's not abhorring, Ezra. I can accept it as it is. Took me a while, granted, but I had to work with it because the link was the only way for me to communicate. I accepted you as the receiving end."
Ezra turned away again, but Chris's hands stayed on his shoulders.
"I lived with you in my mind for months, Ezra. I was freaked, yes. Completely. But," Chris searched for words, "it started to feel right, like you were a missing part I had just found."
Ezra clawed for some sanity. The daze he was in was cut by the shrill demands of the bond, which he was trying to ignore. The alcohol couldn't numb it anymore. What had happened to him... to them? Why did he feel so lost and alone in a dark and threatening world?
"I'm Borderline," he whispered miserably. "I'm not a missing part... I'm a superfluous one."
<No, you're not> Chris insisted, voice suddenly harsh. <And you're not alone any more>
"What?" he whispered.
"Nathan said I changed throughout the whole experience. My molecular make-up is different. He thinks I retained some of the Kiowata abilities. It's one of the side-effects. I might even be able to shift, just like you." Chris shrugged. "I haven't really tried it yet, but the knowledge is there. The feeling of something else lurking in me...."
"You can't mean to stay like this!" Ezra protested.
"Why not?"
Ezra sought for words. "It's not right," he finally said weakly.
Chris chuckled. "Right or not, it's of little difference." He leaned closer, fixing the smaller man with his intense gaze. "Will you come with me?"
There was a sharp intake of breath. Ezra stared at him. "You can't be serious, Larabee!" he finally snapped. "Off this planet I'm.... I'm.... nothing but a petty thief! A criminal! The very people you hunt down!" His voice rose to almost hysterical level.
"Ezra," Chris silenced him. "We need each other."
Standish violently shook his head and regretted it immediately as the headache roared back. He clenched his teeth against the pain and nausea, concentrating on the man close by. "No! I need to get off this rock, you need to get back to your Agency. That's all we need."
Larabee sighed. "I wish it was that simple."
Ezra thought furiously. He wanted to get off this hell hole of a planet, but not with Chris around, not this close. If not for the bond, he would gladly have taken the chance for a ride, then left at the next best space port they docked at.
He sat, shoulders hunched as though all the will had been beaten out of him. Exhausted with the inner struggle. Chris stepped behind him and placed his hands gently on shoulders too tense to soothe, but he tried. He sent a gentle warmth through the connection into the taut frame. Then he began to knead in earnest. After a moment he felt the younger man relax a bit, muscles beginning to unclench as he worked over the back. It was amazing, Ezra thought, how much he reacted to the blond.
"Ez?"
The soft question made Standish look up and he shivered at the mild sparks of emotions in the hazel eyes. Chris would drag him back kicking and screaming, he realized. So he would come quietly, maybe even accept the offer to leave the planet, and then slip away quietly. It was the only way. For both of them.
"Okay," he said, composing himself.
�Promise me you won�t run again.�
The green eyes held a shocked expression, growing more and more distant, and Chris saw the battle in them. Finally, Ezra surrendered. He nodded wordlessly.
Chris smiled, but it lacked the triumph Ezra had expected. Familiarity hit him, longing, need. He squelched it. It would never be. The bond couldn't be completed as it should. The moment they were away, he would run again.
* * *
Vin Tanner was the most grounded person Ezra had ever run into in his life. Any more grounded and he would be sprouting roots to attach him to the earth he walked on. He had to reign in his first reaction to look at Tanner�s feet, checking for unnatural growths.
As Chris and Ezra left the boarding house, Vin gave Ezra a knowing smile. �Hey, Ezra. Feeling better?�
�Aside from a humongous hangover, yes I certainly do, Mr. Tanner,� Ezra replied smoothly, refusing to show just how badly he felt.
"JD and Josiah got the Chimera ready," Vin went on, turning to Chris. "More Regulators arrived yesterday and we're turning everything over to them now. Buck's wrapping it all up as we speak."
Ezra tensed imperceptibly at the mention of the Regulators, the highest group of law enforcement officers within the Joined Governments. They had general jurisdiction on every planet within the Joined Governments and with their presence on BP-379, things would definitely change. He had had a few skirmishes with them before, but not enough to get his face on one of the Black Lists.
"We also got a call from Travis a few hours ago. He wants you back ASAP. Says you're one of the best witnesses he has."
"What about the other Kiowata?" Chris inquired, frowning.
Vin gave a half-shrug. "Buck's been keeping tabs on who was changed back and there's a steady stream coming in, but many just want to leave this hell hole and never be reminded of what happened. Some even decided to remain here, in their Kiowata form. The Regulators will take care of the affairs, so it's off our backs. Our job's done."
Chris nodded slowly. "Then let's wrap this up and leave," he decided.
"JD says he has the Chimera ready for departure by the time we get back."
"Good." Chris turned to Ezra. "Well, it's time to go back to the station."
Ezra tensed more, but he summoned a smile. "Lead the way."
Vin let his horse fell in step beside the other two, giving Ezra a friendly smile that seemed to say 'Don't worry', but Ezra worried. He always did.
*
The Chimera was a long-distance Agency ship, capable of deep space flight, crossing warp gates and landing on planets. It had the bulky but still sleek design of an older Delta class, but on the inside it was bristling with modern technology. Ezra admired the camouflaged appearance, giving the ship a more innocent look than it really was. She packed quite a punch in a battle and was fast enough to retreat to safety when threatened.
Buck greeted Ezra with a wide, friendly smile, almost bowling him over with his good mood.
"Y'know, you sure gave us a run for our money. Ol' Chris here was really having conniptions over your disappearance."
Ezra gave Larabee a smirk; Chris glared back half-heartedly.
"Want me to chain him up and lock him away?" Buck joked.
Chris chuckled. "Not such a bad idea."
"Knock yourselves out," Ezra muttered.
"But since Ezra is a rather good lock pick, I think it's a futile act," Larabee continued.
"Do go on and spill out my secrets," was the grumbled reply.
"Still got the force field JD cobbled together," Wilmington said thoughtfully.
"Now there's a thought....." Chris shot Ezra a calculating look.
"I told you I would come along willingly," the smaller man muttered.
<But do I take that at face value?> Chris asked through the link.
Anger shot through Standish, but he bit it down, just glaring more. Larabee grinned at him.
"Everything else is in good hands, pard," Buck switched back to matters at hand. "I talked to Karen Hox, the Regulator Commander, and she told me she's taking care of the last formalities. We can be out of here ASAP."
"Thanks. Well, Ezra, I think it's time to introduce you to Dr. Jackson."
Standish sighed deeply. A medic. Swell. "I'm perfectly fine," he said out loud, voice level.
"I'll let Nathan decide that." Chris gave him a little push that propelled him forward.
<Bossy git!>
That got him a chuckle. <You haven't seen bossy yet, Standish>
* * *
Nathan watched the new-arrival carefully. He noticed the stance that told him the other man was ready to flee if threatened. He looked more like a cornered animal than anything else.
"So this is him," he remarked to Chris, a smile on his features. "Let's hope he's not as accident prone as some of you."
Ezra grimaced. He hated to be talked about like this, but he kept his tongue.
Vin, who had joined them in the medical ward of the Chimera, almost laughed. Nathan always bitched about their 'talent' to get injured on cases that should be easy. As their field medic, he had to deal with cuts, burns, stab wounds and even poisoning.
"He's Borderline and mind-linked to Chris. Any more questions?"
"Very funny, Tanner," the medic grumbled.
Ezra's eyes flashed with emotions as Vin revealed his knowledge about him, and he felt quite uneasy about it. Yes, he knew the team would eventually find out, that Chris had to tell them, but hearing it freaked him.
<It's okay, Ezra> Chris calmed him.
The commander was leaning against the wall next to the door, arms crossed in front of his chest, appearing completely calm.
<We're on the same team, and you're not the only Borderline here. Relax>
Ezra exhaled slowly. Easy for Larabee to say. He knew those men, he had worked with them, and that he was suddenly less than human wouldn't change their opinion of the team leader.
<Borderline is not less> Chris immediately told him, frowning.
Whoops, let that slip, Ezra sighed. <Where I come from, it is>
<Not where you're going>
<Sure>
Where he was going. The next space port and then.... away. Far, far away. Put some distance between them and - end it. Ezra was shocked by his own thoughts and prayed Chris hadn't heard it, or even caught a glimpse of the morose state-of-mind. He drew strength from Chris�s mere presence, but it was also frightening how his mind reacted to the bond.
"Well, Ezra, I'll just do a general medical check," Jackson now said, gesturing at the scanner bed. "If you'd be so kind and lay down here."
Ezra sighed deeply. "I guess there's no way around this. Would you gentlemen mind?" He looked at Chris and Vin.
"Oh, not, not at all. Get comfy," Chris answered generously, waving at the bed. "I'm fine right over here."
<Scram!> Ezra sent.
Chris smirked, but he finally pushed away from the wall and raised his eyebrows at Vin, who followed his example and left doctor and temporary patient alone. Ezra settled on the medical bed and prepared for the round of poking and prodding he knew would follow.
* * *
JD Dunne, the Chimera's pilot, was the most energetic law enforcement officer Ezra had ever had the pleasure to meet. He was by far the youngest, with shoulder length dark hair, a bubbling enthusiasm you could drown in, and a kind of gentle naivety that was kind of deceiving. Ezra knew people, had run into enough specimens to be called an expert on how to take them, and until the ay he had met Chris as a Kiowata he had never had any trouble categorizing them. JD was hard to grasp. He was young, granted. He was going about everything with the same energy. But he was also a fully qualified Agent and to be among a crowd like Larabee's, he had to have at least some experience in the field. Maybe he judged the age wrong, but still, the people changed when confronted with the harsh reality of law enforcement. JD hadn't. He was like an innocent, a boy who had just left a protected home and had gone out into the world.
JD showed Ezra the command center, excitement in his voice as he explained the features of the Chimera. He was proud of the ship and he apparently knew quite a lot about it, and space ships in general.
"Since we�re not using the Jump System, we'll be at the first warp gate within five days," JD currently explained. "You won't even feel her pass through the gate. She handles like a dream and her stabilizers won't even feel the strain." He smiled widely. "If we push it, we could be there in three, but Chris said to take it easy; no hurry. After that it's a breeze through Ghanjan space and we'll be at the Port of Authority gate within five hours of exiting the other."
Ezra nodded. He knew a fair share about space travel. Born into the artificial world of a bustling space port, he had learned quickly how to get about. Not just within the vast city in space, but also outside. He could fly the most common personal transport ships, he knew people in the most important ports, and he spoke the most common languages. But spending such a long time on BP-379 had left him slightly out of the loop. He was planning to correct that the moment they arrived back in civilization, but until then he would try to use the ship's systems to fill himself in on current affairs. He moment he was on his own again, he would need those information.
"If you want to, you can watch the launch," JD offered.
Ezra gave him a polite smile. "Thanks for the offer, Mr. Dunne, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline. Launches aren't my specialty."
"Getting space sick as well?" a voice rumbled behind him.
Ezra turned and gave the man behind him a once-over. "Mr. Sanchez, I presume," he said, offering a neutral smile.
Josiah Sanchez, ship's engineer and the oldest member of the team, was a tall individual, broad shouldered, with curly, gray hair and a short, salt-and-pepper beard. Bright eyes sparkled as he looked at Ezra.
"That's right. And you're Ezra. JD make your head spin yet?"
JD gave him a good-natured glare as he went to his seat and started the pre-launch procedures.
"He's quite a well of knowledge when it comes to this ship."
"That he is. And one mean flyer. Didn't know a Delta class could do double loops and a tail spin until he showed me."
Ezra chuckled. Deltas, while fast and maneuverable, had their limits. It was impressive to think that the young pilot had managed to fly loops with the heavy bulk.
"Excuse me while I have an eye on the Lady's behavior throughout launch," Sanchez now said. "She sometimes bitches about atmospheric interference."
Standish nodded. "I wasn't intending to keep you from your tasks, Mr. Sanchez."
"See you later, Ezra."
Ezra made his way out of the cockpit. He wasn't queasy when it came to crossing from atmospheric flight to space, which gave some people upset stomachs, nor did he get space sick. He just wanted to be on his own. He chose the science station room for that, which was less obvious than his own, and logged onto the computer. Now would be the best time to catch up on things.
* * *
Nathan flipped through the results of Ezra�s examination, frowning slightly.
�Something wrong, Dr. Jackson?� Chris asked lightly.
The medic looked up and gave Chris a welcoming smile as the commander came into the medical ward. �Not exactly.�
Larabee sat down in the chair opposite Nathan�s desk and made himself comfortable. �Spill it, Nate. What�s wrong?�
�I checked Ezra from head to tow,� he began. �Physically he�s fine. A bit under weighed, but that�s something that�ll change if he starts having regular meals. What struck me was the brain scan. Yours has changed through the bond, so I suspected his did the same. Sadly, I have no idea about his prior scans, so I can�t compare them, but I believe they�d show me that Ezra was a latent empath to begin with. His Borderline abilities centered around empathy, the ability to read and even subtly influence emotions.�
Chris raised an eyebrow.
�Whether he did it consciously, I�m not sure,� Jackson went on. �I don�t think so. You mentioned that he was aware of his Borderline abilities, which means he felt different, but he had no real control.�
�But his abilities are shape-changing,� Chris interjected.
�Yes. Now. He was empathic when he came here and I firmly believe that this ability triggered his own consciousness and, later, you. Vin explained to me about soul partners and while it�s a science I can�t really relate to, it�s a fascinating one. Soul mates as such aren't a complete rarity. It's not really common, but also not unheard of. Same sex soul mates occur one out about a thousand relationships. But for both of them to be or become Borderlines..." Nathan shook his head. "That's a first."
"A first?" Chris echoed.
"There's nothing in any archive I looked through that indicates this ever happening. Borderlines usually keep to themselves because humanity doesn't trust those who are different. You weren�t Borderline until your molecules were scrambled by the machine when you were turned back. If not for the connection to Ezra, I think you never would have developed those abilities anyway. You changed when Ezra touched your mind, the machine simply rearranged the change into a human brain pattern."
Chris thoughtfully chewed on his lower lip.
"How intensely do you feel Ezra?" Nathan suddenly asked.
Larabee gave him a scowl. "That's a mighty personal question, Dr. Jackson."
The other man grinned. "I'm your doctor, my friend. I have to know."
"I can feel him all the time,� Chris answered slowly. �He�s a presence in the back of my mind. When he was gone, it was like I had an Ezra-shaped hole in my head, and it hurt.�
�And now?�
�I�m not sure. It�s pretty new to me.�
"The bond is still establishing itself, Chris. You're kinda off balance, even if you think you are completely at peace with yourselves."
Chris mulled that over. "How long?"
"No idea, Chris. It might be over tomorrow or take a while longer."
"How long 'a while longer'?"
"I don't know....."
"You're not much of a help, Doc, you know."
Nathan smiled apologetically. "While I can recite texts and theories, I have had to treat the actual thing or even met a Bonded pair, let alone a Borderline who was bonded. You two being unique... it complicates matters."
"I didn't ask for it."
"I realize that. Whatever it is you two have going," Nathan raised a hand, "and I mean that in a completely non-erotic way, it has to sort itself out. We'll be at the Agency main port soon. If it hasn't lessened till then, you might have to check in with the medical department. Otherwise I'd say you're on the way for a complete balance.
I could examine you two and..." Chris's expression stopped him and Nathan smiled. "Or not. Listen, Chris, whatever happened, it helped both of you. Listen to the bond. It knows what's best for you."
A sigh answered him. "All right, but I don't have to like it."
"Never said that."
* * *
Chris sat in his quarters, going over reports and files from the last months, still trying to reacquaint himself with his old job. He was currently off-duty, due to his MIA state, but that didn't mean he could allow himself to be out of the loop. He wanted to be back in action the moment he had a green light from the Agency, and that meant knowing what was going on at the moment.
A knock disturbed his thoughts and he smiled as he discovered who his visitor was.
"Vin," he greeted his second-in-command.
"How ya doing, cowboy?" Vin asked as he flopped down in the chair opposite Chris's desk. His blue eyes gave him a once-over.
"Getting a headache."
Tanner smiled. "No one asked you to catch up on everything within a day."
Chris shrugged. "Had nothing else to do."
That got him a strangely piercing look, accompanied by a frown.
"What?" he demanded, suspicious.
Vin folded his hands over his stomach as he slouched more into the chair. "Oh, just thought you might want to work with your bonded partner on the connection you two share."
"We're not new at this any more, Vin. We know how it works."
The frown stayed. "Really? Could've fooled me."
Now Chris mirrored the mimicry. "What are you talking about?"
"Okay, if you are so hard headed, let me spell it out for you: your bond changed. It became tighter, more personal. You said it yourself, Ezra couldn't mind-talk to you. Now he apparently can. You are human again, Chris. It changes what's up here." Vin touched a finger to his temple. "The bond is changing and you are connecting in new and different ways."
Chris's frown stayed. "I don't feel different."
"Sure?"
"Yes."
Vin sighed deeply and stood. "Okay, my mistake then. Maybe I'm interpreting everything the wrong way."
"What 'everything'?" Chris demanded.
"Well, beginning with Ezra's state-of-mind when you were back with us, how he tried to run, how you could follow the bond so clearly as if homing in on it." Vin leaned forward, hands placed on Larabee's desk. "Watching you two, it's almost painful. Ezra's still running. Not from the Agency or whatever awaits him back home. He's running from himself, from the bond, and from you, Chris. He's running from the pain this lack of acknowledgment means."
The blond stared at his second as Vin straightened and headed for the door. Vin was normally a very laid-back type of personality. He never put himself up front if it wasn't necessary and he was a very good observer. For him to take up the role of an active participant was something remarkable.
"Vin?"
"Yes?" He stopped and looked at Larabee.
"What can I do?" Chris asked quietly.
Vin turned thoughtful. "You share more than what I ever did in the little time I was honored to have a soul partner," he said softly. "You are bound tighter than anyone I ever knew. My advise is to seek him out, talk to him, and take it from there."
"Thanks, pard."
"Anytime."
And with that the door closed after the other man, plunging Chris into the silence of his office and the turmoil of his own thoughts.
* * *
Three days. Off planet, aboard an Agency ship, among men who, if he had met them under different circumstances, would have thrown him into a cell and lost the key. Playing with a deck of cards he had discovered in one of the drawers, Ezra gazed at the darkness outside the ship. Space. He had almost forgotten how it was to be in this empty darkness. He placed his palm against the port window, as always amazed that it didn't freeze his skin. Splaying his fingers against the glass, he watched the stars sparkle through the gaps.
<Hey>
Ezra didn't need to turn his head to know who had approached him. And only one person could touch his mind like this. They weren't telepathic. There was no way one of the two could read the other mind, but the emotions coming through were the same. Emotions and something like colors, moods, feelings.... the whole nine yards.
<Thinking?> Chris asked, coming to a stop behind him.
He dropped the hand to his side. <Something like it>
The silent communication was almost natural now, and unnerved the other Agents a great deal, Ezra mused with a grin.
<Homesick?>
He wanted to counter that he had never had a home, but for the last months the lonely, backwater planet had been his. But did he miss it? In a way. Ezra missed the wide-open spaces, the freedom. He, who had grown up in bustling space ports, who had never set foot on a wilderness planet until he had been forced to run to this little haven.
<Kinda. Not really. I don't know> he finally said softly.
Ezra had tried to withdraw in the last few days, had feigned interest in catching up on news or sleeping in a real bed again, but every so often he was interrupted by one of the others, mostly Josiah or Buck. Chris was a constant presence anyway; he didn't have to be there physically for Ezra to know that the older man had a worried frown on his forehead or that he asked the others about Standish.
<We could go back>
"What? No!" Ezra turned to look at the slightly taller man, shocked.
Chris's hazel eyes sparkled. "Sure?"
Ezra exhaled slowly. "I don't know. I feel... displaced. I don't belong....."
"You do, Standish!" Chris told him forcefully.
"Really? What will happen when we get to the Agency? You can't protect me from my past. You can't save me....."
The bond whispered to him again and Ezra turned away. Damnit! He hated the bond! It made him want something he couldn't get and never thought about even wanting.
Oh Lord, Ezra thought as the need coursed through him again. Go away. Now. Before I do something I will regret eternally, something you'll hate me for.
<Ez?>
"I'm fine," he rasped, trying to deal with the raw emotions he experienced.
A strong hand grasped his shoulder and he was turned around, not fighting it much. The bond was like a living being inside him, needing the touch, the closeness. Chris caught the flitter of emotion that randomly crossed Ezra's features. They were standing about a foot apart, near enough to touch yet far enough to resist, tension stringing the short distance that lay between them.

Green eyes met hazel ones. Ezra saw his own need reflected in Chris's eyes and winced.
<Leave me alone, Chris> he managed. God, why couldn�t he just die? Here and now.
Chris stepped closer to Ezra, who didn't move away. He looked Standish straight in the eye, the sheer electricity crackling almost audibly between them.
<Why?>
He swallowed, shivering. Warmth radiated from the spot where Chris still held him. <Because it's forced, it's the bond. Not us>

Ezra tore from the warm grip. "You went to Jackson about this?" he exclaimed, shock and betrayal in his eyes.
"Yes," Chris answered calmly.
"It's personal! It's.... why?!"
"Because I needed an answer. He told me that because we connected, because we are both Borderlines, the bond is fluctuating. Neither of us is really ready to give in to it, so it'll force us to do what should have been done."
"No!" Ezra yelled, shaking his head. "It's not real, not natural!"
"I don't think the bond cares."
"This connection between us is not sentient!"
Chris smiled sadly. "But its the driving force behind all our actions nevertheless. We have to give in."
Ezra stumbled against the porthole, shaking. "How can you talk about it this way...."
"Nathan told me the alternative, Ezra. Not pretty."
Standish screwed his eyes shut, tremors shaking him. "I can't....."
Chris sighed. "Do you think it's easy for me? We don't even know if the initial completion is enough."
"Oh Lord....."
Ezra was hit by another wave of nausea and he clenched his hands into fists as he fought the bile rising in his throat down. Everything seemed to swim around him and he lost touch with reality for a second, losing himself in the sensation being far, far away. It was as if Chris�s soul touched him through the link and Ezra flinched in fear. He couldn't lower his natural shields. Just couldn't. No. Please, don't make me! His breath caught in his throat and he felt it hitch. Larabee just stayed where he was, physically as well as mentally.
"Ezra, we have to do something," Ezra heard him say." We'll go insane otherwise. It'll tear our souls apart."
"And giving in won't?" was the quiet question.
"I don't know."
The emerald eyes opened. "We might just make it worse."
Nothing came without a price. He had learned that even before he could walk and talk. Ingrained in him by birth. There was always a price tag, always a hidden agenda. Why would Chris Larabee willingly give into the bond between them? Why would he care?
"We might just stay sane," Chris told him, voice serious.
Ezra looked into the open, hazel eyes. No lies, no deceit, just the need to follow what instinct told them both. "And the others?"
Larabee smiled. "They have to deal with whatever happens next."
Ezra closed his eyes once more as the words exploded like fireworks the blackness of closed lids, and the intensity was too much to bear, and he couldn't hold back any longer. He opened his eyes, and his fears and protests dissolved away, unarticulated. In a last attempt to prevent the inevitable, Ezra pushed at Chris to get away. He suddenly felt a jet of ice cold lined with fire shoot through his hand where it touched Chris. Like a sliver of energy, it exited his body through his palm, straight into Larabee, and it was the strangest sensation. Not pain, but a deep, intense pulse, like a thousand heartbeats compressed into one.
Chris closed his eyes as he felt the fiery cold rush into his body. The ice in his veins made him shiver, and he broke out in a cold sweat, feeling flushed - but this sensation was nothing like he'd ever felt before; instead of draining him, it felt invigorating, as if pouring life into his body, infusing a certain power into him from within.
Completion.
Ezra burned. There was no distinction anymore. There were no lines drawn within himself. There was nothing he was sure of except... the need within him. A need he was finally listening to, a need was trying to fulfill.
* * *
Chris woke slowly. Consciousness returned at a leisurely pace, bit by bit, and he felt incredibly calm and at peace with himself. A feeling of everything being completely right, balanced and where it should be coursed through his body and soul. In the back of his waking mind a presence rested comfortably, fitting in, belonging there. Chris opened his eyes, his surroundings coming into focus. There was the faint background hum of the engines he knew so well, but nothing else disturbed the silence. He stretched, which was when he became aware of the fact that he wasn't alone and that he was laying on the hard floor of the Chimera.
He rolled over and touched something soft and unfamiliar. Chris he felt shock course through him as he discovered the person next to him. Ezra Standish lay curled up, eyes closed, face relaxed and as much at peace as Chris felt.
Larabee could only stare. How... what.... why....?
He sat up abruptly, panic starting inside of him. Whether it was the emotional upheaval or his movements, he didn't know. Ezra woke with a start, eyes snapping open, and the same panic reflected back at him. With an exclamation of surprise the smaller man moved back. Too bad the space between him and the wall was not wide enough to accommodate that movement. He bumped into it, almost cracking his head.
"Ezra!" Chris exclaimed.
Ezra's wide eyes stared at him. "What..... Chris?"
Confusion mingled in their minds, amplified by the mutual inability to recall what had happened. Chris remembered Ezra touching him, the liquid fiery cold, the completion, then everything had whited out. Judging from his partner's expression that was about all Ezra remembered as well.
"What happened.....?" Standish asked carefully.
"Wish I knew," Chris answered. <It's a bit hazy> The last was said using the link, without conscious effort.
Memories of the last night returned one by one. He had touched Ezra's soul. It had been the beautiful feeling, even if it was alien in so many ways. They had been close in mind before this, but now they were inseparable. One. He whispered it through the link and saw Ezra's eyes widen. The bond as such had changed, had grown tighter, had strengthened. Chris marveled at how familiar this all seemed. How familiar Ezra was to him. Before, he had felt kinship, friendship, trust. Now.... it was hard to describe. Mesmerized, the younger man gazed at him. A wordless question arced over the connection. Chris read fear and almost panic in it.
He collected his thoughts. This was awkward. What had happened to them? All he remembered was everything suddenly turning white, then nothingness. No memories aside from what meager information he had gathered.
"I don't know what happened, but it feels good," the blond told him seriously.
Ezra looked down at his clasped hands, shivering. "I know." He started to rub a thumb over the back of his hand. 
Chris felt the echo of last night's empathic jolts course through him. "The question is, what will happen now?"
Standish managed to get off the floor and settled down on a chair, almost wary of Chris, as if he feared something would happen that he couldn't stop.
<You okay?> Chris asked, slightly worried as Ezra continued to be silent.
Ezra swallowed. 
<No dream, Ezra> Larabee smiled. <For real>
The other man briefly closed his eyes. When he opened them again, Chris was struck by the turmoil in the green depths. Ezra had very expressive eyes when he let his shields fall. Chris felt the doubt and insecurity in the back of his mind that came from his partner.
<This changes everything> Ezra murmured. <What about your team?>

It wasn't about the link; it was about more. About Ezra being a con man and thief -- quite a good one, Chris had found out through the tight bonding -- and about Chris being an Agency team commander. Opposites in so many ways.
<Ezra, we are soul partners> Chris told him, holding the emerald eyes. <Nothing can persuade me to let you go>
<I'll hurt you>
<You haven't in the past; you won't in the future>
A sigh. <I'm talking about my very presence and your status. I'm a criminal, for crying out loud!>
The thief was starting to reach his breaking point, had maybe already reached it, and he was flailing for reasons to push Chris away.
"You're not running again, Ezra," Larabee stated calmly, catching Ezra off guard. With a smirk he added, "We linked for real last night. I know what you thought you could do. I'm not letting you run."
The thief suddenly sobered, his eyes becoming unreadable.
<Ez... please.....>
"It won't work," Standish said flatly, erecting his defenses once more.
"How about you let us find out together?"
Chris saw a familiar mask fall into place at that. Ezra was wearing his poker face again, trying to keep him at bay. Damn, the man was good. No wonder he was such a pro in his job. Still, the mind-link gave him away to one single person and that was Chris Larabee.
<Ez ... don't do this. I can still reach you, you know that>
A warmth permeated him, warmer than any fire, spreading through every fiber of his being.
<Don't you have to be somewhere?> Ezra asked faintly, desperately trying to maintain composure, <Commander Larabee?>
Larabee sighed inwardly, knowing that his friend, no his soul mate, he corrected himself, would sense how he felt. <Okay, for now. But this isn't over yet, Ezra. We'll talk later>
The thief simply nodded, not showing a single emotion. Chris swallowed a sigh and left.
* * *
Vin didn't have to ask how the talk had been. He saw the answers written on Ezra's face. On one side the thief was calmer, more relaxed, but there was still a tension in that small frame that seemed to scream at everyone who looked closely enough.
The bond was complete. No doubt about it. Inseparable, interwoven on so many levels that no surgeon would ever be able to cut all the strands. But Ezra was fighting. He was too stubborn to give in easily, and too independent to seek out help. Then again, he didn't know that there was someone aboard the Chimera who was very well able to understand him and his pain.
Vin found him in the exercise room, which was abandoned this time of the day. Ezra had stripped down to a shirt and sweat pants, and was attacking a wall-mounted, padded bag. Covered in sweat, the thief danced in front of the bag, feet and hands hitting the target with precise and hard kicks or jabs. His eyes were fixed only on his imaginary opponent, never wavering in their concentration. One particularly vicious jab made Vin wince. That had to hurt.
"Give the poor bag a break, Ezra," he drawled softly, startling the smaller man. "It's not used to being pounded like that."
Standish was breathing hard, sweat running down his flushed features. "What gives me the honor, Mr. Tanner?" he asked, slightly out of breath.
"Was lookin' for you."
Ezra started to unwrap his bandaged hand, flexing them. Where the bandage hadn't covered him, scrapes and bruises could be seen. He gave Vin a questioning look.
"Thought you might wanna talk."
"Currently I don't have any inclination to."
"What you're doing to yourself doesn't help in any way, Ezra," Vin went on, recognizing the stiffening shoulders as the first walls coming up. "I'm glad you and Chris finally got yourselves together, but you're about to make it worse again."
"What are you babbling about?" Ezra snapped, green eyes flashing once. "Mr. Larabee and I didn't 'get together'!"
Vin smiled. "I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I know you finally really acknowledged the bond between you, but it's not over yet. Just because you gave in once doesn't mean everything's just fine again. You'll hurt much worse till this is over unless you accept the consequences."
Ezra threw the soiled bandages onto the mattresses on the floor. "What makes you such an expert, Mr. Tanner?" he whispered, voice harsh. "You have no idea! None at all! I didn't ask for this!" He clenched his teeth and kept his mouth shut, trying to keep himself from spilling more.
"I'm not an expert," Vin said calmly. "Just someone who lost his soul mate and has to live with it."
Ezra's expression was priceless. There was a second of suspicious disbelief, but when he couldn't read a lie in Vin's open features, his eyes widened briefly, and he swallowed once.
"I..... I didn't know....," the thief mumbled.
"Ezra," Vin said gently, walking closer. "I'd hate to see you go through what I did while you have your soul partner alive and well, at arm's reach, just because you're too stubborn for your own good."
"I can't do this," Ezra mumbled. "I can't do it to him. I gave in last night, but I can't give in the rest."
"Why?"
Ezra bit his lower lip, fighting his own demons. Finally he shook his head and turned away, grabbing a towel to rub off the sweat.
"Are you afraid of opening your soul to another being? That someone really knows who you are? Seeing past your walls, discovering the real you?"
Ezra stiffened.
"Are you afraid to die to learn to live?"
The smaller man stood still as a statue, then a tremor ran through the compact frame. He turned and Vin winced in sympathy at the raw pain he saw reflected in there. He knew it only too well. And he saw recognition there, that Ezra had discovered the truth in Vin's words.
"I'm not afraid, Mr. Tanner," Ezra said, voice barely above a whisper. "I'm scared out of my mind."
Vin nodded. "So was I. I didn't know what was happening, only that I was suddenly half of something else."
"And how did you cope?"
Ezra hadn't moved from where he stood and Vin didn't dare approach him yet.
"I didn't 'cope', Ezra. I learned to accept. Little by little. His name was Chanu. He was of the tribe of people I had spent a lot of time with throughout my college years. I studied their ways and theoretically I knew everything about what they called life bonds. Practically I was ill-prepared. Chanu helped me, made me see that by accepting that I had to let go of a part of me, I'd gain a lot more."
Ezra gazed at the floor. "I am afraid to die," he said, voice wavering. "Because I don't know if I can live with what comes afterwards."
"No one does, but if you don't risk it, you'll never find out."
"It's not my risk alone. What if I lose this gamble?"
Pain flared briefly inside Vin, reminding him of his own loss. "I lost my life partner, Ezra. Through a terrible accident. It was the most agonizing moment of my life. Our bond was violently severed, I was tossed into darkness, without his soul to guide me." Vin felt his voice quiver. "I regret the loss, but I don't regret knowing him. I'll always remember what he gave me, I treasure it, and I will live to honor him."
Emerald eyes bright with tears met Vin's blue ones. Ezra drew a trembling breath, hands clenched into fists.
"I have to go," he finally said, voice barely above a whisper, then he turned and almost fled the gym.
Vin remained behind, a sad smile on his lips.
* * *
"What is he to you?"
From anyone else, the question would have been personal and earned him a swift verbal return. From Vin, it was a normal inquiry.
Chris looked at his friend and smiled faintly. "A part of me," he answered truthfully. "Something I didn't know I would ever have again after Sarah died. Ezra... fills a void in me, Vin."
Tanner gave him a thoughtful look and Chris felt like squirming.
"Is he a replacement for Sarah?" his second-in-command asked straight forward.
Larabee nearly choked on his own breath. "What?" he exclaimed. "No! Sarah... Sarah was my wife. I loved her." He fought down the emotions threatening to rise. "She held a very special place, Vin. No one can touch that place. Ezra... touches something else. Sarah was my heart, my conscience, my better half. Ezra is the missing piece of my soul." He gazed at the younger man. "I need him."
"Like Sarah?"
Chris swallowed a sharp reply. He knew Vin was trying to help them understand what was developing at the speed of a runaway train. "No. Not like this. Ezra.... I know we have different personalities, Vin. I know we butt heads, we clash, but... he's part of me. I can't explain it. It feels right. Here." He touched his chest.
Vin smiled openly. "Good." He rose and nodded at his friend.
Chris watched him go. Tanner had somehow developed a protective streak when it came to the thief. Not all that much of a surprise when considering his own past, but still a matter of puzzlement. Ezra wasn't the one to accept help easily or have someone else fight his battles. Whatever Vin had done to get Ezra to trust him in these matters, Chris knew it was a special form of friendship. He opened the drawer of his desk and took out a framed picture. It showed a beautiful, curly-haired woman, her brown hair pulled out of her face, smiling. She had a child in her arms, a boy of maybe three of four. Chris sadly traced a finger over the still face.
No, not like Sarah, he thought. Different. Very much different.
* * *
Ezra had spent the rest of the 'day' aboard the Chimera in his quarters, staring blankly at the wall, refusing any contact with Chris. His emotions were raging wildly and while he still felt Chris's presence as clearly as before, he had poured a lot more energy into blocking his own. It was a draining experience and he hated himself for doing it. It was for the best, he repeated over and over in his mind. For their mutual best. But Vin's words echoed through his mind.
Are you afraid to die to learn to live?
The answer was simple. Yes, he was. He didn't want to let the part of him die that kept everyone at bay, that hid behind masks and shields, that was insecure and always waiting for the other shoe to drop. The part that made him such a damn good thief because it kept him on his toes. Or at least that was what he told himself. If he offered Chris this part of his soul, if he trusted him so far, he would sooner or later be hurt.
Give a little, get a little, it had never worked for Ezra Standish. The few times he had given, he had been hurt by what had been returned to him.
Never trust anyone with your soul, a voice whispered.
Yes, but currently, his soul was inseparably connected to someone else. That was where the whole dilemma lay.
Sleep claimed him throughout the late hours and plunged him into a dreamless state.
Ezra woke, blurting out a name that sounded suspiciously like 'Sarah'. He lay in his bed, blinking at the ceiling. Who the heck was Sarah and why had he dreamed of her?
//The scorched wreck was still smoking slightly, looking like a grotesque skeleton of an ancient creature that had died a horrible death. The area around the wreck was scorched and there was leftover foam clinging to the brittle stone from when the fire-fighters had done their best to contain the flames. He walked toward the burned-out transporter, recognizing it as his own. He had bought it just two years ago. It had been a real bargain. Now it was worth scrap.
Two people had died here. A gruesome, violent death.//
Ezra felt his heart rate rise as images of a beautiful woman with a child in her arms flashed through his mind. She was waving at him, smiling happily. Then the happiness was drowned in the blackness of despair as fire raged across the woman's image. He screwed his eyes shut, feeling cold sweat break out on his skin as unbelievable emotional pain and rage he had never felt like this before swamped him.
Not his feelings, a weak voice insisted.
<Chris!>
He used the connection unconsciously, reaching out in near-panic. His voice was a dying candle in a howling storm. Ezra slid out of his bed, tears stinging his eyes as the emotional upheaval brought with it memories of something not he but Chris had experienced. A wonderful wife, a child, his own home, a great job. All blown away in an instant. Ezra stumbled out of his quarters, blindly drawn to Chris's. He was hanging by a thread, emotionally, by the time he got there. His body was shaken by tremors and he was bathed in sweat.
<Chris....> he tried again, but with no success.
He all but fell against the door that led to the personal quarters. He didn't have the entrance codes, but Ezra was a thief; he knew how to break into locked rooms. He didn't know how he did it, but finally the doors slid open and he made it inside. Without even glancing at the sparsely decorated interior, he staggered toward the bedroom.
Chris was tossing and turning in his bed, mumbling to himself. Like Ezra, he was sweating, his hair plastered to his head, and his movements were jerky and rather violent. An agonized moan could be heard and it cut into Ezra like a knife. Their bond flared with the agony the other man was living through.
<"Chris, wake up!">
Ezra touched one tense shoulder. It was a mistake. Hindered by the incredible headache the flooded link presented him with, slowed down by the nausea the memories evoked, he couldn't evade the fist that came crashing into his face. He was thrown back as pain exploded in his cheek and stars danced in front of his eyes.
"Ezra...?" Chris voice sounded weak, hesitant. "Oh hell!" That was uttered stronger. "Shit, Ez... sorry... I didn't know...."
Ezra blinked owlishly at the man who bent over him. Chris looked like Standish felt.
"What are you doing here?" Larabee demanded all of a sudden.
"You were blasting all over the frequencies," Ezra mumbled, carefully probing his tender jaw. "You had a dream you wanted to share."
Chris sank down next to him, looking shocked. He ran a shaky hand through his damp hair. "Hell...." he muttered again. "I'm sorry."
"Not your fault. Must have been something really bad."
The blond didn't answer. He simply gazed at the floor, appearing a bit lost all of a sudden. "Yeah," Chris said after a while. "Really bad."
Ezra waited. His soul offered almost instinctively, even though part of Ezra resisted. He never offered freely. Too much could be taken from him; there were too many ways for someone else to hurt him.
Chris raised deeply troubled eyes and Ezra winced as he realized the pain hidden in there. <It happened a long time ago> he whispered, not trusting his voice to talk.
<Still hurts> Ezra answered the same way.
A nod. Chris fell silent, studying the irregular patches of light on the floor. <Sarah....> The name came with great difficulty <was my wife. We had a son. Adam. They died>
The wreck, Ezra thought silently. They had died in that burned out wreck.
<The bomb.... had been meant for me> Chris went on, his voice sounding strained. <Buck and me, we were just on our way back from a mission. It had taken a day longer than expected. It should have been me driving. Sarah took my place.... and she paid for it>
Anger swamped Ezra, uncontrolled rage at one person: Chris Larabee himself. <Wasn't your fault, Chris> he heard himself say, aching for the other man. His soul cried softly.
Chris screwed his eyes shut, fighting his own reactions. It had been such a long time, but the pain hadn't really dulled. Ezra remained where he was, silent, observing him. Tears started to leak from behind the lids, spilling over the pale cheeks. Tense shoulders shook silently. The bond screamed with shared agony and Ezra tried to fight the last walls he so bravely upheld.
Trust. Just trust someone. Take the risk and do it.
The inner turmoil exploded and the knot in his mind unraveled. Without conscious thought, Ezra put an arm around the soundlessly crying man beside him, pulling the trembling body closer. He did nothing else, just held him, radiating a strength he didn't know he had. Chris simply fell into the light embrace and Ezra was struck by the vulnerability and the amount of trust the other man put into him, just before he realized what he himself had done.
Tentatively at first, he cracked the shield around his mind. Warmth flooded him and he felt the shield waver. Ezra was still very insecure, trembling, ready to bolt, but he couldn�t. He stayed. For a brief time, the bond was open two ways. No more barriers, no more lies. The hunger inside him was suddenly no more, the need no longer so achingly oppressive.
<I'm here> Ezra heard himself whisper.
Chris's presence latched onto him like a drowning man, the despair, pain and loneliness sinking into both minds. Ezra countered the darkness with the little he could give, the warmth of his hope and finally his trust in his partner. A trust he had never given to anyone else in that amount. A trust that, if Chris ever betrayed it, would destroy him.
* * *
Ezra came to, feeling beaten and still tired. It had been a long night, and a quite stressful one. Chris had felt anger, pain, betrayal, rage - not a single positive emotion as the memories walked through his mind over and over again. Ezra had simply held him, had shared the pain, had let his partner purge his system. Not a single word had fallen and finally Chris had slipped into sleep.
Ezra had warred with the decision he had to make: leave or stay. In the end he had stayed, using the slightly too small couch to sleep on. Now his legs were cramped, as was his neck, and he felt terrible. Well, maybe coffee would cure this. He rose slowly and padded over to the coffee machine Chris had in his quarters, trying to work the kinks out of his back and neck.

Chris Larabee woke and for a moment his mind was a blank. Then memories came back. He closed his eyes, willing the surging emotions to subside again. It had all happened such a long time again, but still the wounds felt raw whenever he touched them. Last night, the scars had broken open, though he had no idea what had triggered them.
Stumbling out of bed he made it to the bathroom. He splashed some cold water into his face, resisting to swallow painkillers. They wouldn't be able to numb this particular pain. Resting his hands on the sink's rim he forced himself to relax. After a while his body and mind quieted down. Because of this quiet, Chris became aware of something he had never felt before. A gentle brush touched his mind, fleetingly, like a breeze. It was warm, of a feathery quality, but still strong. He smiled involuntarily.
Chris left the bathroom, breathing deeply, then stopped. The way the couch looked, a crumbled blanket and some bunched-up pillows, someone had spent the night there.
<Ezra?> he asked, almost unconsciously using the link, then he discovered his partner sitting in the far corner, cross-legged, on the only armchair he owned.
He looked bad. Almost as bad as Chris felt. The link between them radiated open worry and Chris marveled at how clearly he could suddenly read his friend.
<I'm okay> he answered the wordless question.
<Liar> was the soft reply.


<Ezra, last night....> He saw him wince and lower his eyes. "Ezra?" Chris spoke out loud, startling the thief. "Thank you," he finally just said.
Ezra's head whipped up and Chris smiled at the open confusion in the emerald eyes.
"Thank you for trusting me."
Ezra swallowed, then just nodded, unable to say anything. He had given Chris everything last night. He had opened his soul, had been vulnerable. They had placed an immense amount of trust into each other on BP-379 already. Ezra wouldn't have made it on his own and neither would have Chris. Things had changed profoundly the moment Chris had turned human again, and now�.
Part of him fought bitterly against the feelings that the bond was creating. He had been raised to trust no one, not even his own mother. All that had been shot to hell with the bond. Larabee shot him a look when he didn't answer. Enough emotions had leaked through anyway. Ezra felt like screaming.
Please let my decision be the right one, Ezra prayed.
* * *
"So how does this shifting work?" Chris asked.
Ezra walked around the cargo hall, giving it all a critical once-over. It was mainly filled with crates which had been securely strapped to the walls. Number and letter codes had been painted on the unicolor boxes, marking them as supplies or machinery.
He turned back to Chris, a look of concentration on his face. "It's a principle of mind over matter. Your mind controls the trigger inside you, the part responsible for the change. The trigger, once found, is easy to locate again, but the tricky part is not to change unconsciously. Changes can happen because of emotions or thoughts, and if they happen when you least expect them, it can be embarrassing." He flashed the older man a knowing grin.
Chris had decided that since they had a lot of time on their hands till they reached the Agency main port, he and Ezra could spend it exploring their abilities. Since Chris was now also a Borderline human with the ability to change into an alternate form, he needed to know how to do it. It might be an asset when it came to missions, or a liability if he had no idea how to prevent himself from changing involuntarily.
"How do I locate the trigger?"
"Do you remember what it was like to be Kiowata?"
Chris smiled wryly. "Yes."
"Now think of that feeling, what it was like and..."
There was a ripping sound and Ezra had to hold onto himself not to laugh out loud. A snicker escaped nevertheless, which got him an evil look. The huge, black Kiowata towered over the smaller human, nostrils opening wide as he blew out air in annoyance.
"You should take off your clothes first," Ezra managed between bubbles of laughter.
<Very funny, Standish!>
"But you found the trigger, Chris. Good."
<And how do I get back?>
"The same way, but that's a bit more difficult. You have to reverse what you just did."

Ezra grinned. "You changed."
<Standish!> Chris glared at him, ears lying flat on his head.
The thief chuckled. "Okay, try to think human again. Imagine yourself as Commander Chris Larabee."
<And what am I right now?> came the sharp reply. <A horse?>
"Actually.... yes...." Ezra danced out of the way as Chris lunged at him, the sharp hooves clattering on the hard, metal floor. "Think human."
Nothing happened. Chris pranced angrily, shaking his head. Ezra felt a tingle down the link between them and blinked. Before he could think about it, there was the sudden, familiar sensation of his point of balance shifting, his world changed, and the ripping sound told him that his borrowed clothes had just gone the way of all clothes.
What the heck....?
Turning his head, Ezra found he was facing a stark naked Chris Larabee, who quickly grabbed his shredded shirt and held it in front of him. "What the hell....?" the Agency commander exclaimed.
Ezra tilted his head, baffled. Valid question. What the hell..... Chris' anger had washed over him, blanked his mind, and -- had triggered him. Shi-it!
<Uh....> Ezra muttered. <You triggered both of us?>
Chris stared at him. "How...?"
<No clue. I felt your anger and then..... voila>
"Voila my ass!" Chris looked around for something that wasn't just rags.
Ezra discovered that some of his own clothes were still rather okay, even if they didn't resemble a shirt or a pair of pants anymore. Shifting back into human form, which resembled no problem for him, he snatched his former shirt to cover himself.
"Is this a private party or can everyone join?"
The jovial voice belonged to Buck, who was leaning against the open hangar doors, watching the two barely covered men with laughing eyes. Vin pushed into the hangar, smirking.
"Shut up, Buck!" Chris snarled.
"So that's what you call 'training', eh?" Wilmington teased.
Larabee glared. "I said shut your smart mouth and hand me some clothes!"
Vin, taking mercy on them, walked over to a cabinet and pulled out two space suits. Chris turned and quickly pulled it on, followed by Ezra.
"So, you boys making any progress?"
The Glare intensified. "Yes," Chris managed through clenched teeth.
Ezra hid a chuckle, but the intimate connection still translated it. Chris transferred The Glare to his partner. Standish valiantly bit down on the laughter, unfazed by the evil expression in the dark eyes.
"How about we postpone this session?" Ezra proposed.
"How about we chug it out of the window completely?" the blond growled and stalked past them.
Ezra remained behind with the other two men. Buck clapped him on the shoulder.
"So, what were you guys doing in the buff, huh?"
He rolled his eyes. "You have a dirty mind, Mr. Wilmington."
�That�s a well-known fact,� Vin commented, grinning. �Which brings us right back: what were you guys doing here?�

Continued in Section Three: Four Corners
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