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Home Unknown	By : katecooley Category: S through Z > Xena Views: 15190 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Xena, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Same junk as before. See part one for all the jargon. And I�m not going overboard on the Strife-speak. People gotta read this.

Part II - Scheming, Dreaming and Avoiding Reaming

Pacing, oddly enough, made the God of Mischief feel more at ease. The repetitive strides to and from and around eased that raging pain that kept forming at the base of his neck. Though each look to the figure still asleep in his big comfy chair reminded him of the eternal butt-kicking he was in for.

"I don�t even WANT �im!" Strife whined loudly to no one in particular. The mortal sleeping in his chair shifted, but didn�t bother waking up. Which was good, since the godling had no intention of stopping. "I mean, OK, sure, he�s a good source for energy. I nevah seen a more natural mischief-maker in my life, even when he ain�t tryin�. An� every time he travels with Zeen an� that blond harpy, I�m so charged up I float�" Another look to the chair and Strife couldn�t stop the wail that came out. "Tarrrrrtarrrusssss!"

Without his favorite chair to flop in and sulk, the godling had to flounce on his bed, sprawling out on the black cotton sheets and blanket. His eyes were riveted on his visitor, still sleeping. Strife clutched a matching pillow to his chest, resting his chin on the top of it. "Unc�s gonna tear me a new food chute over this one. I mean he�s been pissed at me before, but this�" His gaze again fell on Joxer. "Never mind what he�s gonna do to you, boy-o. Once he pulls the skin offa you, then he�ll start gettin� ugly. What goes through that melon on yer neck, anyway? �In your service.� How well you think Unc�s gonna take that bit? They�re gonna write epic poetry about this ass-smackin�, you better b�lieve it." A chuckle beat out all that nervousness. "Maybe good ol� Gabby can write it. At least then not too many people�ll read it�"

At the mention of the blond�s least favorite nickname, Joxer whimpered in his sleep, twisting and wiggling, almost as if he were trying to burrow into himself. "Ya sound like Graegus when ya do that," the young immortal smirked, calling to mind an image of the much-heralded Dog of War lying on his side and chasing rabbits - or mortals - in his sleep. Feet twitching, jaws slobbering, and fussy little noises coming from his cavernous mouth.

Only� Joxer wasn�t off after rabbits. His face puckered a little, brows folding in and helping to paint a very upset picture. He seemed to want to curl into a pillbug-ball, but the chair and his position weren�t letting him. He was trying to� "Ah, don�t worry, Jox. I�m sure it won�t be that bad." Strife would have had no problem lying to the mortal when he was fully awake, so slumber made no difference. "Unc�s got a temper, but he ain�t totally unreasonable. I only seen him really fly off the handle a couple�a times and mosta them hadda do with Her Warrior Princessship anyway." Another unhappy moan piqued Strife�s interest and he cocked his head to the side, studying his subject. A thought barged into his head, past the images of what the God of War was going to do to him, and plopped itself down in Brain Central. Clambering off of his bed as slowly as nature would allow, Strife advanced on Joxer quietly, hoping the creak of his leather wouldn�t do what his caterwauling hadn�t. Crouching down near the chair-arm that supported the mortal�s head, the god decided to try something.

"Unc�s gonna kill us both." He watched Joxer for a reaction to his stage-whisper. Any reaction. Nothing. Not even a flinch. "Blast us inta tiny bits of idiots." Again, he waited. Again, not a hair moved, save for breathing. "Izzit me? Strife? I gotcha buggin?" Apparently not. "Graegus?" He had to take a shot. But the lack of a flinch or moan made Strife both flinch and moan. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, not really wanting to see this.

"Xena."

Unclenching one eyelid, Strife peeked out to see Joxer�s sleeping features sour again as the young man turned his face into the chair. A thin stripe of energy tickled up Strife�s spine, but it tasted bitter. He knew he should be all for milking some power, but this felt icky. The distress plaguing Joxer was a tangible entity. "I hate ta do this to ya, but�" Strife leaned closer, bracing himself against the side of the chair in anticipation of the usually pleasant zap he was going to get from tormenting someone in their sleep. For once in his immortal life, he wasn�t looking forward to it.

"Gabrielle."

It felt like the skin was being singed off him as the charge raced through his lithe body. But any power he might have gotten paled in comparison to the way Joxer�s breath hitched sadly. Agony. Strife vaguely wondered if he hadn�t been dedicated to his uncle too hastily. This was House of Love stuff, and it was stinging him like crazy to be handling it. The energy he was absorbing was tinged pink and it was making his head spin just a little. He did what he could, smoothing Joxer�s rumpled hair and trying to sound soothing, but this was so not his job. He couldn�t be sure if he was doing it right. He�d only shown up to see who was tooling around in his private digs anyway. No one was supposed to even be able to see this place, never mind sack out in it. And double-never-mind having a big wig-out sleepover in Strife�s own personal wig-out chair.

"Gods, just� don�t wake up, �K?" Strife tried to plant that suggestion in Joxer�s head. "This�ll be lots more comforting if you don�t see who�s doin� it." And as long as he was giving subconscious advice� "An� what say ya ferget that I�m even doin� it. Don�t want it gettin� around that I�m all fluffy and nice, right? I mean, how�m I s�posedta do my job if everyone�s dumpin� stray kitties and bunnies on my doorstep. Nevah mind what good ol� Dark an� Deadly would put me through. This�d be just the think ta keep Ares occupied when�"

Strife�s right eyebrow lofted as Joxer seemed to relax and calm a little. What the�? He�d just been talking about the God of War and that made the mortal relax? His eyes narrowed and he examined Joxer, watching some measure of peace seeping into the sleeping man. Nahhhh� couldn�t be. One way to make sure.

"Ares."

Strife never got the reaction he wanted. His uncle�s name had barely left his lips when a harsh tingle washed over him. Panic gripped him tightly. Someone was transporting him. He sincerely hoped it wasn�t Ares, since being forcibly moved often meant his uncle was hardcore pissed about something. That could mean anything from a crap assignment to the sudden and unpleasant removal of his spine. And that thing was a bitch to regrow.

A flash of light engulfed the God of Mischief and out of habit, he ducked and covered. No sense in being unprepared for that first fireball. When the light dimmed slightly, and it was only slightly, he waited for the bellow and the immense pain.

He was surprised when only the bellow came. And it carried on words he�d never expected.

"What did you DO to him?"

The voice was plenty enraged and outraged, but it wasn�t as deep as Strife had expected. It lacked that battle-hardened edge and the difference made the godling do something irregularly foolish. He unfurled a little, keeping his head protected, to look up at the angriest pair of green eyes ever seen. Had they been brown, he�d have known his fate, but these were a color Poseidon could only ever hope of capturing for his seas. The scowl was vintage Ares, but the snow-white wings�

"Oh, thank Zeus on a string! Cupe, you gotta help me, you just gotta! I� He just� I can�t�" Strife gestured wildly to the chair that had made the journey complete with its current occupant. "DO SOMETHING!"

"I could feel his heart breaking all the way up here. What. Did. You. Do." Calm and even didn�t make the words any less deadly. Cupid�s lineage dripped from them.

"Are you NUTS? You think I did this?" That squeak was kind of unbecoming to the Mischief God, but he couldn�t help it. "I already been dead once. I ain�t in no hurry to try it again!"

A quick flash of something passed through the God of Love�s eyes, a brief pain, but it was gone almost as fast as it had shown up. Cupid drew a deep breath and his anger flowed out on the exhale. "OK, then� what happened."

"Like I know? I was off in Pylos tryin� ta get the masses riled up enough to chuck out the local noble idiot takin� advantage of �em. Unc� thought it�d be easier than havin� a horde of barbarians knock the gate down. Anywho, I�m busy sneakin� that potion I swiped offa Demeter inta the grain supply�"

"On what plane of existence is boosting something from Aunt Iron Britches ever a good idea?" Cupid chuckled, imagining the face of the Goddess of the Harvest once she realized she�d been burgled. Again.

"She ain�t gonna know. An� I left� something in its place." A nervous grin broke on Strife�s stressed out features. "�sides, I don�t know who else keeps those beans around in any supply."

Note to self - don�t light a match in Pylos for a while. Cupid rolled his eyes and shook his head. This felt familiar. In younger days, he and his cousin had been co-conspirators on pranks like this, things done more for the amusement of two bored godlings than any other higher purpose. He wasn�t sure if Apollo had ever figured out where that fishy smell in his bedroom came from.

"So�"

"SOOOO, I was puttin� it in the grain supply an��"

"And�? We gonna get to the heartache part sometime before Tuesday?"

Strife gave his cousin the hard once-over. This wasn�t just something, it was everything. The whole point was that he knew about it and ONLY him. Letting someone else know would ruin it. Jox knows. That hurt. But someone stumbling into it was different from spilling your guts about it. Strife began hoping beyond hope that whatever he and Cupid had together as kids hadn�t passed the expiration date yet. A warm hand on his shoulder made the God of Mischief jump almost out of his moon-pale skin. Unvarnished concern bled through and looking up, he saw the same in the look coming his way.

"Strife?"

"I got this place, OK? An� no one�s s�posedta know about it. Tartarus, they�re not even s�posedta be able to fuckin� find the thing. It�s MINE. Mine only. As in I�m s�posedta be the only one in it. So while I�m out tryin� to crap around everything in Pylos, I get this feelin� on the back of my neck that someone�s found it." Strife wanted to edge out of his cousin�s grasp, but couldn�t find the energy to do it. There was something comforting in that touch.

"Joxer."

"Yah."

"How�d he find it?"

"Only one way he�d even be able to see the front door. But I can�t figger out how he learned the password." Mirth flowed between the cousins and Strife got the distinct impression he was being laughed at. But there was nothing cruel in it. Cupid�s lips twisted as he tried not to laugh. "Somthin� funny, cuz?"

"Nah. I was just remembering the fort we made at Mom�s temple in Athens out of the big floor pillows." Any giggling he might have had bubbling up gave way to a wistful smile.

"Oh gods," Strife snickered, slapping his hand over his mouth to keep from snorting. Leave it to the God of Love to bring up a good memory while he was worried about being disemboweled. "Aunt �Dite didn�t even notice until she had that orgy all but set up around us�"

"And we wouldn�t let her in �cause it was �No Girls Allowed��"

"An� we�d set up that energy barrier so no one could just pop us out�"

"Pops was soooo pissed that he had to show up and get us�"

"Nah." Strife wrapped his arms around himself, happy in the warm memory of his uncle�s bemused eyes. "He made like he was all honked off, but he thought it was a riot. Aunt �Dite was squawking around like a chicken with no head, trying to get folks to quit off shaggin� �til she could get us outta there. I think if he coulda got away with it, he�d�a come on in with us."

A similarly warm remembrance drifted across Cupid�s skin: the feel of being very small and gathered up in his father�s arms. It seemed like an eternity ago when the smell of leather made him feel so safe. Not that he and his father didn�t get on anymore; quite the opposite, actually. But the nature of their godhoods made the times they had together very rare gems. Maybe that was what he liked about his pale and skinny cousin. All that leather, smelling tangy sweet and reminding him of easier days. Well, that wasn�t all of it, but� that was the part he could deal with.

"I spent three weeks hiding out at Pops� place, hoping Mom wouldn�t be too mad. And she wasn�t, but still�"

"Yeah."

A glance was spared for the figure in repose on the fuzzy black armchair. "What are we gonna do about Jox?"

An aggrieved sigh. "Unc�s gonna spl-"

"Not likely. I mean, it wasn�t like he was looking for another god�s temple, right?" Cupid�s tawny eyebrows rose in question.

"Nah," Strife shook his head, regarding the sleeping man again. "He was wandering around that forest outside Mnemnos an� was lookin� for shelter. SOMEHOW, he found my digs."

"What�s the deal with that forest anyway? I could feel his heartache almost all night, but I couldn�t pinpoint where he was. It was like� you don�t have that whole area shielded, do you?"

"I don�t. But� I didn�t set up the temple, either."

***FLASHBACK***

"Ohhhh, hon, it�ll be all right." Long, delicate fingers ending in manicured nails wiped big fat tears from a pale little face. "You�ll see."

"B-b-b-b-b-b-but, Aunt �Dite," the tiny godling�s voice quivered like a plucked lyre string. Hiccups of sorrow were making it impossible for him to speak, to say nothing of the breath he was trying to catch from running all the way there like a scared fawn. "He-he-he-he� They-they-they�"

Aphrodite clucked her tongue. "I know, sweetie. It�s a bi-- *ahem* big pain sometimes being House of Aggression around here." Mentally, the normally placid Goddess of Love was ticking off ways she was going to maul her self-righteous family members. "All those smartypantses can make things rough on a little muffin like you."

"I-I-I di�nt mean to�" Anything else the six-year-old was going to say got muffled by sweetly perfumed bosom as he was hugged to his aunt. He would have complained, but there was something safe about his aunt�s embrace.

"I know. You don�t have to mean to. You�re still young enough that your godhood has a mind of its own sometimes." The blond goddess stroked her nephew�s unruly black hair. "Anyone reasonable would get that. Which explains how totally fu-- for the birds this family can be."

"Uncle �pollo looked real, real mad," a spooked voice rose up from her cleavage as its owner burrowed in tight.

"Falling face down in horse poo tends to do that to a guy, cookie," his aunt�s smile lit the room up, imagining her stuffy-ass brother nose deep in turd. She�d have paid dinars to witness that one. Maybe a visit to the Halls of Time was in order. A tiny mumble vibrated against her chest and she didn�t have to translate the whimper. Apollo tended to be heavy-handed with the few tikes tearing around Olympus, but she�d have thought him smarter than threatening the Goddess of Discord�s one and only baby boy. Aphrodite decided she didn�t envy the Sun God at all today. "S�OK, Erin. You�re always welcome here anytime you need to hide out."

The sound of his given name made the godling rear back in her arms. Only one person ever called him that and she was outside Crete with his God of War uncle overseeing a skirmish that had been threatening to boil over if left unchecked. "Momma won�t know where I am� �sposedta stay wif�" More tears, knowing how upset Momma could get sometimes without meaning to. Not hurting, but sometimes he could feel inside-angry from her almost the same as�

"I�ll tell her you�re here so she won�t worry, �K?" Mentally, the head of the House of Love tossed out the information to her darker sister, letting her know that her Sweet Little Scrap was fine, bunkering at the pink and sparkly homestead instead of with the Muses she�d left him with to keep him safe while she worked. Of course, Eris hadn�t counted on Apollo being King of the Bungholes today. So, naturally, Aphrodite told her. In detail. Sent a mental picture of the poo thing and the Sun God hollering thing and the Strife crying thing. Almost instantly, a vision of Apollo being beaten senseless came back across their sisterly link. Something about tying him to the wheels of his chariot and kicking him in the nuts for a few days. Something wordless also came, a plea full of worry and hope. �Dite sent back something calming before breaking the link.

The goddess looked down at her wide-eyed nephew, who�d been shivering up a storm while she �talked� with Eris. "It�s cool, hon. You can stay here tonight an� your Ma�ll come get you when she gets back tomorrow." She flashed a big, soft smile. "Cupie�ll be fit to burst when he gets home. He totally digs sleepovers with you."

Strife let himself be fussed and cooed over for a minute or two more before talking again. "Aunt �Dite? What if you�re not here?" He knew that grownups always had work or something calling for them and he had the feeling that an empty Hall of Love was about as useful in protecting him as no hall at all.

"Well, if you needed to, you could always hunt out Auntie Hestia." But Aphrodite knew this had shit-all to do with who he turned to. Sometimes, there was no one. Duties could leave Olympus as empty as Sparta during Spring Break. From the haunted look in his eyes, she could tell Strife knew it, too. "Erin, hon, how�d you like your very own hidey-hole where no one could get you. Just in case." Black curls nodded vigorously, though the unofficial Goddess Of Jiggle had already made up her vastly underestimated mind. She hugged her nephew tightly, almost singing when his skinny arms wrapped around her as best they could and returned it. Tears pricked her eyes before the notion of another House of Love slumber party made her question her sanity completely. "You hungry? Let�s get you something to eat and we�ll talk�"

***

"Mom�s cool."

"Yeah." Strife had to clear his throat a few times before he stopped squeaking.

"So what do we do here?" Both sets of eyes turned to Joxer again, still slumbering, though far more peacefully now.

"He�ll sleep until the chair lets him wake up," Strife put his hands on his hips and strolled over. "I spelled it so�s it protects whoever sits in it. When it figgers the danger�s over, it�ll let him come around. So, we should prob�ly split, let �im relax a little. Oh, an� whatever ya do, don�t mention�" Strife mouthed the words �Xena or Gabby�. "I think that�s what gottim there in the first place."

Cupid made some kind of disapproving noise. "That figures." He cast a sidelong glance to his cousin. "They�re, uh�" he wiggled his fingers in the air, not sure of what that would indicate until the dark head bobbed in agreement.

"That�d do it. He�s still loopy over that demented little peacenik. I mentioned �em an he kinda freaked in his sleep."

"Probably how I finally zeroed in on you two."

"Say, this is right up yer alley. Why don�t ya just�"

That same disgusted noise came from Cupid again. "I promised Pops I wouldn�t monkey with him."

"What does Unc care�" Their eyes met and eyebrows headed skyward. "Oh."

"Yeah. So he�d know in an instant if I did anything."

Strife sighed long and hard, only to get this cousin�s hand clamped on his shoulder again. "He said it, Cupe. He said �in your service.� He prayed to me an� he said it. Unc�s gonna�"

"Don�t sweat it, cuz. We�ll figure it all out when he wakes up." A gentle squeeze held all the hope Strife didn�t have. Told him what he needed. Made him wish.

-tbc-
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