You Knew What You Were Getting Into

Information and disclaimer in first section

Notes: Hermes is God of Liars, thus Ace's reference.

You Knew What You Were Getting Into, 2/?
by Scribe

Chapter Two
Decision Made

Asclepius sparkled into the audience room at the Temple of War. He was moving before the sparks faded, rummaging in the pouch that was tied at his belt. He called, "Ares? Joxer? Delivery to prevent deliveries, fellas. Come out, come out. I have things to do."

He'd entered the hall that led back to the family quarters. A door near the end opened and a dark, sleek head popped out curiously. For a moment Ace thought it was Joxer (the height and coloring was close), but then he saw that the hair swung down in a long, thick braid. "Hi, Accord. Where are your dads? I have their monthly dosage."

"I think they're out in the garden," Accord called. "But I'd knock, or something, before I went out."

"Are they in that bad a mood?"

Accord chuckled. "Let's say that I'm not sure they're going to need that potion."

"Did they have a big fight and cut each other off?"

"No, it's that..." Accord stopped, and there was a wicked gleam in his eyes. "It's not for me to say, but actually I think you're more likely to walk in on concerted panting than stoney silence." He giggled. Accord was aware, in a technical manner, of the facts of life, but like most teenagers he found the concept of his own parents making hot monkey love to be a little bizarre, if not actually upsetting.

"Then I'd better get this to them. They took that last dosage a little early, and we're getting close to the safety limit." He hesitated. "Is there any reason why you haven't come out to greet me properly? Not that I insist on standing on formality, but this yelling from another room is going to make me think you're avoiding me."

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm being punished. Ares caught me walking along the wall on the roof, so I'm grounded."

Ace nodded firmly. "Good! I've had to help you heal up more broken bones than I should at your age." Accord rolled his eyes. "It's true, and you know it. I hate to think what would have happened if I hadn't put you on that extra ration of ambrosia when you were little. I swear, I never saw anyone get into as much mischief since Strife was little." Accord grinned. Being compared to the Mischief God was a definite plus among the younger generation of Olympians. "You're restricted to your room for how long?"

"Um, well... It's not really that. I had a choice of either missing my sleep over with Bliss tonight or doing a week of solitary in my room. Technically I can go anywhere in the temple, but I'm staying in my room. I thought maybe that would impress the dads about how serious I am."

"And maybe make them feel a little guilty?"

"Well..."

"Has it worked?"

"Not so's you'd notice it."

"Just a hint, Accord--guilt is much more effective when it flows from parent to child. I'll see you around." Ace found the door leading out to the garden, and hesitated. Accord was right--discretion was called for. The God of War was not likely to react well to having a bout of hot love abruptly interrupted. Ace didn't bother with a polite tap, though--he pounded, calling, "If you're not doing anything, tell me. If you are, get it over with. I have your potions, and I have errands to run. I haven't got all day to hang around in the hall while you two bask in the afterglow."

"Spoilsport." It was Joxer's voice. "Come on in, Ace."

Ace opened the door and stepped outside, then came to an abrupt halt, staring. It was a sight odd enough to warrent pause. There was an arcane pattern of small, metal arches set up on a smooth swatch of grass, with a colorfully striped wooden stake at either end. Joxer, shirtless, was preparing to tap a bright yellow wooden ball with a very long handled wooden mallet, obviously aiming to send it through one of the hoops. Ares leaning on his own mallet, watching his husband. He was wearing nothing but a loincloth. "What on earth are you two doing?"

Joxer tapped the ball. It rolled right up to the arch, but stopped just under it. Joxer pointed quickly at Ares. "It counts!"

"Does not," Ares protested. "It has to go THROUGH the wicket on the first tap for it to count. Take 'em off, Joxer."

"Oh, all right," Joxer grumbled. He laid aside his mallet and started to open his pants.

"I don't know what you're complaining about. Two more losses and I'll have to shave my beard to pay the forfeit." Ares glanced at Ace. "It's called strip croquet. The croquet bit was brought back from the future--the strip part was Strife's suggestion."

"Why am I not surprised?" said Ace. He pulled two small vials from his pouch and held them up. "I brought your monthly potions. You'd better take them before you get amorous, unless you want to get reacquainted with diapering."

Joxer, down to his own loincloth, was folding his pants. "Um, about that--you only need to leave one of those."

Ace frowned. "One?" Then his face lighted. "Ohhh... So you've finally decided to go for it, have you? That's wonderful. I love having little ones to look after. I'm going to encourage a subdivision of my worship where doctors devote themselves specifically to treating children. I'm going to call it pediatrics. You know, from pais--child, and iatros--healer." He became businesslike. "But if you're going to go for another child, I'll want to do a more indepth examination, just to be absolutely certain there will be no surprises. Joxer, when can you come over?"

Joxer and Ares exchanged looks. Joxer said, "Any time you like--but I'm not the one you'll need to examine."

Ascelpius blinked. "But you said..."

Ares said, "And you won't need to give me all the usual lectures. I sat through them all with Joxer, remember?"

Ace stared at the war god. Ares returned the look blandly, but Joxer was snickering behind his hand. Finally taking pity, Joxer said, "Yeah, it came as a surprise to me, too, but he's really determined about this. We're not really going to be working at it, but we're going to see what happens if we don't use the contraceptive potion."

Ace swallowed. "Okay. I should warn you--the effects may take a while to wear off. I've noticed that the longer someone uses the potion, the longer they seem to go before becoming pregnant after they stop using it. You two have been using it since Accord was born, and that's a pretty good length of time, even for a god."

"Thanks for the warning," Ares drawled. "We're in no hurry." He gave Joxer a significant grin. "That takes a lot of the fun out of it. I tell you what, though--I'd appreciate it if you kept this to yourself."

"Of course," said Ace promptly. "Dad and I had that written into the oaths that our followers take when they become healers. What passes between a healer and a patient stays between them, unless the patient specifically WANTS it made public."

"I trust you, Ace, and I'm sure Apollo wouldn't maliciously spread rumors, but..." Ares shrugged.

"Yeah, Dad IS a bit of a congential gossipper," Ace admitted. "Look, I won't tell anyone unless I think that your health is endangered."

"Fair enough. Now, either grab a mallet and prepare to be beaten into nudity," said Ares, swinging his mallet idly, "or leave the potion and go on about that business you're so concerned with."

"I promised to go have a talk with Cupid about letting Imp get her navel pierced, and if you don't think THAT'S serious..."

Joxer snickered. "Are you for, or against?"

"I'm just presenting the facts. Either side could screw up my love life for a long, long time to come."

"Yeah," Joxer agreed. "And I pity anyone who ever gets BOTH of them on their case. Just imagine... Falling deeply in love with someone who can't stand you, and someone you think is a toad falling in love with you, and them developing homicidal jealousy over anyone who even looks at you..."

"Please. If I want nightmares, I'll talk to Morpheus." Ace laid one vial down on a small table. "Remember, if you change your mind and decide you want to take precautions, I'll need to examine you before you dose yourself again. If you're pregnant and don't know it, and take a prophylactic potion on top of it... Well, it could be nasty."

"Not gonna happen, Ace," said Ares firmly. "I had to work too hard to convince Joxer that this was the way to go."

"I wasn't that stubborn," Joxer protested.

"You weren't? Did I or did I not have to suggest calling on our son in his official capacity as God of Mediation?"

"Suggest? I thought that was a threat."

Ace was shaking his head. "You know, if I told most people on Olympus that you two were arguing about who was going to carry the next baby, they'd have no trouble believing it. But if I told them that you were BOTH wanting to do the actual gestation, I think I'd have a few people tell me to go make a sacrifice to Hermes. I'm going to want to know the second--the SECOND--that either of you has a suspicioun. Got it?"

"You're going to be a Pregnancy!Nazi, aren't you?" said Ares.

"A what?"

"I'll explain it if the situation arises."

"Okay." Asclepius got ready to transport. "You know, it wouldn't be a bad idea for BOTH of you to increase your ambrosia intake now, and..."

"Sieg heil."

"What?"

"Need to know basis."

"I'm getting out of here. Usually someone doesn't go crazy till the pregnancy is a few months advanced." He flashed out.

"I believe it was my turn," said Ares. He bent over his shiny red ball, studying it.

"I'll bet you," said Joxer, "That you don't get it through the hoop in one stroke."

"We've already established that if I don't I literally lose my drawers."

"Side bet. If you don't make it through the hoop, we get to play warlord and slave boy."

"Hmm... Who's the slave?"

"You know very well that you can't really do slave--you can only do noble, conquered warrior."

"I will be willing to make a side bet in a moment, Joxer, but I actually hadn't intended to put the ball through the hoop."

Joxer blinked. "But you have to in order to set it up for a drive at the stake. What reason could you have for not...? OH, NO YOU DON'T!" Ares, grinning evilly, tapped the ball. It rolled across the smooth grass and clicked gently against Joxer's yellow ball. "Ares, don't you DARE do that again! I had to hunt in the grass for ten minutes last time." Ares put his foot on his own ball, pressing it down firmly. "If you do that when you aren't wearing your boots it's going to be like banging your foot on something hard."

"If I accomplish my goal it will be worth it. And remember, I said I'd do a side bet with you."

"What is it?"

"Same as you liked, but I DO get to be slave boy. I can do it. I'll just be a slave lulling his master into complacency, while I plan to later take lustful revenge." He wiggled his eyebrows.

Joxer felt a tingle, but he wasn't quite ready to give up a good snit. "What, exactly, are you betting me you can do? I KNOW you can whallop my ball off the green."

Ares pointed at the far garden wall. "I have to make it hit that wall."

Joxer snorted. "Fine. You could almost get tired walking to that thing. I hope you're feeling rested, because I'm going to want you to wear me out."

"M-hm." Ares drew back his mallet, drawing it back till he looked rather like a future pro golfer getting ready to tee off. The mallet whistled through the air when he swung it. It connected with the red ball with a sharp crack...

Then there was another crack as the yellow ball more-or-less exploded. Joxer, standing to the side, still ducked as a flurry of wood shards blasted through the air like schrapnel, and pattered against the garden wall. He lowered his hands from where he'd been protecting his eyes and stared, stunned, as the last bits of wood dropped into a small heap at the foot of the wall. He looked back at Ares.

Ares twirled the mallet, looking smug. "Splinters count. Now, Master, what's your pleasure?"

Joxer smiled almost reluctantly. He went over to Ares and gave him a strong embrace, letting his hands slide down to squeeze Ares' firm ass. "You are, Ar. You most definitely are."