When Bad Things Happen | By : Lily1186 Category: Supernatural > Slash - Male/Male Views: 4278 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
When Bad Things Happen
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Supernatural related, someday though...someday...
Pairings: None.
Summary: Even after the Asylum Sam still has some issues to work out with Dean.
Okay, as you all know I’m trying something different with this fic. So, this is the first alternate ending to the original chapter. I chose to write this one to start because it seemed to be the one with the most consensuses. Anyways, I give you...Sam beating the stuffing out of Dean with some rough handling (not for the light-hearted.) I hope you enjoy, I’ll try posting another ending within the next couple of days. Unfortunately I will be attending school again next week and updates may be a little less frequent. Sorry, if it could be remedied you know I would do it....
Oh yeah, it’s in Sam’s POV
Alternate Ending #1- Innocence Lost
********************
Dean was beginning to struggle again and the part of me that was still lucid wanted to scream at him to stop. To tell him that he was only making it worse. My last shred of patience was practically gone and it was only Dean’s docility that was keeping me from tearing him apart.
I knew that he was only fighting me to prove something to himself. To prove that he hadn’t just shown me his greatest weakness and that he wasn’t just a scared little boy that didn’t want to die by his brother’s hand. He fought so that he could tell himself he had gone out fighting. Dad would be proud.
Unfortunately, Dean’s struggles didn’t do either him or me any good. It didn’t bring him any closer to being free from me, and it didn’t bring me any closer to sanity.
In fact, if anything, it brought me closer to the edge of my encroaching madness.
****************
The whispering was back full force again. Trouble was that by this time I couldn’t discern whether it was the Doctor whispering or if it was my own mind spilling over the edge and taking control of my actions. But either way it had the same result.
The grip that my hands still held on Dean’s neck and in his hair tightened to an almost frightening degree. I could hear Dean’s sharp intake of breath at the new pressure being applied and my body tingled with delight.
Just the sound of his pain was enough to quiet the voice in my head so I pulled a little harder.
Dean was biting his lip now to try and keep the scream in but the sight of his blood just made me want to beat him until he begged for me to stop.
For a moment I just stood there, Dean pinned to the driver’s side door and me looming over him with a maniacal smile on my face. Then, without any further thought I bit into the flesh of his exposed throat.
Dean’s flesh didn’t even put up a fight and it gave immediately. Not even a second after I had sunk my teeth in, I heard the grunt of pain and felt the wash of blood on my tongue.
It was divine.
It was as if some higher power had chosen Dean at birth to make him the most incredible being on the planet. They had given him looks, charm, bravado, fighting skills and the most incredible tasting liquid on the Earth as blood to fill his veins.
I would have sighed in happiness if Dean had just screamed for me. But all he did was grunt and try to push me off. The voice came back louder.
‘You see. He can’t even allow you to be happy once. He took you away from college, from Jess, any happiness you’d ever known just so that he could control you. He’s just like Dad. They’ll never let you be happy. You have to make your own happiness Sam. And you know precisely how to do that, don’t you?’
I released Dean long enough to put a hand to my head and wipe the blood from my nose. It didn’t take long for what the voice said to sink in though and my rage came back harder than ever.
I swung hard and connected with Dean’s right cheek laying him out flat on the cold tar. He was dazed but not completely down and out. I laughed again when he stared up at me with pain in his eyes.
“What’s the matter Dean, can’t take a hit?” That changed his mood almost immediately. He lifted himself off the ground careful to keep his weight off from his injured shoulder.
When he was finally standing again I took my stance.
“Come on Dean, take your best shot. You’re not really going to let yourself get beat by your baby brother are you? What would Dad say about his good little soldier then?”
It must have been the comment about Dad because he didn’t even look for a weak spot. He just attempted to go straight for the jugular. He swung with his good arm and missed, but only by about a centimeter. Then, when he came back for a shot at my stomach I made my move.
I grabbed his fist without a second thought and used his own momentum against him. He landed back against the car again and I kicked him in the stomach while he was still recovering. He groaned in pain but gave no other signal of his distress.
My patience was starting to wear thin. I wanted him screaming and damn it all if Dean just wasn’t complying.
“What happened Dean, you were so eager to please before.” I grinned at him wolfishly and advanced. The glare that he shot me would have frozen anybody else but I brushed it aside and hit him again using the palm of my hand to further ruin his nose.
Dean just spit out the blood and laughed. Actually laughed.
“Fuck you Sammy. I know this isn’t you. You wouldn’t....”
“I wouldn’t what Dean. I wouldn’t do this...” I kneed him in the stomach and watched him hit the ground like a bag of bricks.
“Or I wouldn’t do this....” I landed a kick right in the groin and all he did was curl up in the fetal position to catch his breath.
The haze had settled again. My only thought really was to beat him so bad that he screamed until the dead awoke again and helped to carry him home. I landed a kick to his head and once again the flesh gave way like it was butter and I was the knife.
All he did was lay there and pant until finally I couldn’t take it anymore. I leaned in through the driver’s side window and took the keys out of the ignition. Then I pushed Dean onto his back with my foot and ground hard into his stomach on my way over him to get to the trunk.
As soon as the latch released I grabbed the 9-mm near the baseboard and a couple of my favorite blades. Smiling appreciatively, I closed the trunk back up and went to straddle Dean.
“You know Dean, all you have to do is scream for me and I’ll end it. No more hunting, no more searching for Dad, and no more seeking approval from a man who just doesn’t give a damn. I can give it all to you Dean, if you just scream for me.”
He spit in my face. “That’s your dream Sammy, not mine.” When he was finished talking he grabbed a rib and winced. But soon enough his face was back in that stupid mask again and all I could discern was anger and something else. Something that I never thought anyone could feel in a situation like this. Surety.
***************
I realized then that Dean wouldn’t be screaming for me because no matter what I did to him he believed that it wasn’t me. That his little Sammy could never truly hurt him. It almost made me want to throw up, instead I just hit him as hard as I could again and again.
His nose had begun making this sickening squish sound as if there wasn’t any bones or cartilage left to destroy. But all he ever did was grunt and take it.
I hit him so many times in the chest and the face that some part of my brain made the observation that he would look like he went through a cheese grater when I was done with him.
When I finally stopped to catch my breath I noticed that Dean’s hand had found its way over to the shotgun I had taken out of the trunk. For a second I just froze. Our eyes locked briefly and I made to stand up. To put as much distance between Dean and myself as I could.
I could feel the dirt sticking to the blood on my hands as I balanced myself enough to push off from the ground. Then I brushed them off nonchalantly onto my already filthy jeans.
“What are you going to do Dean? Shoot me?” My voice was venomous. I couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to allow Dean to get the gun away from me and a small part of me thought my brother should shoot me. The problem was that I wasn’t sure if I thought that because I deserved it for my stupidity or for what I had done to the only person I ever really loved. My brain suddenly felt like it was all melting and pooling together in my head.
On the one hand I felt like I should take the gun away from Dean. That he wasn’t strong enough or fast enough to shoot before I could get to him and I should make him pay for making me look weak.
The other half of me felt like I should let Dean kill me. That after everything I had put him through, that I put the family through, maybe it was time for it to come to an end.
Neither side really won out though. They didn’t have to.
***************
It took me a moment before I realized that Dean was holding the shotgun out towards me. I reacted instinctively and grabbed it out of his hands. Not bothering to try and steady him when he almost fell forward from the force of the pull.
He stood there, staggering slightly and trying to keep what little blood he must have had left in him from leaking onto the pavement. When he was finished spitting out a tooth he looked at me.
The expression on his face was the most open I had ever seen it. His body held the look of someone that was beaten and at an end. But his eyes....
His eyes held the look of a man that had seen the Devil and laughed in its face. He straightened his posture as best he could and stared at me. With that move of defiance his eyes showed me something new. Determination. It wasn’t the kind of determination that said he was going to survive this just to kick my ass. It was the kind of determination like he had all the faith in the world in me and was determined to get me back, one way or another.
It was the determination that made me raise the shotgun and point it at his heart. But before I could pull the trigger I stopped.
He was smiling at me. It was strained and not in the least bit cocky, but it was a smile. A small part of my sanity started to claw its way through the sucking mud now filling my mind.
It wasn’t clawing fast enough though and the other half of me still currently in control cocked the shotgun.
He still had that damn smile on his face and I couldn’t help but take another look into his eyes. Determination and strength had been joined by reflection. As if his life were truly taking the time to flash before his eyes.
**************
I couldn’t help but wonder what he might be seeing. Was it mostly Dad? Mom maybe? As if he was reading my mind, Dean finally spoke.
“It’s you Sammy.” Those three words burned their way into my soul. Everything I had done, everything I was going to do, and he still believed that I was the good one. The innocent one.
I shook my head to clear the buzzing that had started. The whispering had risen to an almost deafening roar. Dean took a step forward and I raised the gun higher in warning.
All he did was give me a look. A look that I knew had no earthly words to describe. The only thing I could think of was...
“I love you Sammy.”
Love. Not even that came close but apparently it was enough. All at once the whispering was gone. All of the mind numbing mud had disappeared and I finally had my sanity back. I had it back and I had no idea what to do with it.
The shotgun fell out of my hands soundlessly and lay discarded by the little yellow lines in the middle of the road. That was followed by my mouth, which fell open in abject horror of what I had done to the only person who had ever truly cared for me.
I couldn’t even look at him, so when I felt a reassuring hand on my shoulder I immediately fell away from it.
******************
I vaguely remember the feel of the pavement rising up to meet me and then I was throwing up anything I had ever eaten. The vomiting was a welcome retreat from reality however so I didn’t mind. It was the images that came with it that my brain couldn’t stand to see.
It was almost like a dam had been built between the conscious me and the subconscious me. I could remember beating the hell out of my brother, but there was no comforting logic behind those actions. It was the lack of logic that left me reeling. I had always had that logic. It had been what made me want to escape from hunting, to move in with Jessica, to ignore the phone calls from my brother.
That logic had kept me sane. Every decision I made was carefully planned out. Pros and Cons.
I had left home so that I could keep my family safe. I know that at the time I had told them it was because I had wanted a normal life. But logically I knew that I had done it because I blamed myself for Mom’s death. I figured that Dad and Dean could protect themselves against whatever had killed her by not having to look out for my sorry ass.
And Jessica. I had moved in with her because logically it was the best thing to do. I loved her and it was the next place to go with our relationship.
Dean. I had ignore Dean’s phone calls because logically I did not want my moving to be any harder on him than it was. I figured that if I just stopped talking to him he would get so mad at me that he would give up and move on with his life.
I should have known better. No matter how mad Dean got at me he would never give up. The evidence of that was standing right in front of me, bleeding onto my shoes.
My logic had been what I thought had kept me sane. But I realized with horror that it was the logic that Ellicot had used to twist me into his own sick creation.
In a moment of startling clarity I realized that all of the things I had reasoned were logical were nothing but selfish ploys. Everything I had done was for my own gain, and Ellicot had twisted that and directed it at the one person that was the center of why I had that logic.
***************
Dean was the most important thing in my life and Ellicot had used that. He had used it and twisted it until there was nothing left but hatred and agony.
He had made me believe that I hated my brother. He had twisted my every logical thought until all that was left was the need to blame my brother for everything stupid I had ever done.
I didn’t have logic. I had fear. And that fear made me believe that Dean was the one who had created it.
***************
I was sobbing now. I knew it because I could see the drops glistening on the pavement beneath me. Dean was beside me again. He had sat down on the tar and was currently leaning against the Impala’s front driver’s side tire.
When I looked at him hopelessly all I could see was his tired smile. Everything we had gone through, and he was still smiling.
It was that smile that made me pull myself to my feet. That smile that made me help Dean up from the ground and gingerly lead him to the back of the car where I gently laid him down in the back seat. It was that smile that also made me go and pick up the weapons from where they now lay and place them back in the trunk.
That damn smile that told me that no matter how much faith my brother had in me, I had still broken something inside of him. And no matter how much logic I purged, I could never put it back.
***************
Okay, how much did that suck. But seriously, if you got confused I apologize. It all kind of spewed out at once (pardon the pun) and I couldn’t stop it. If you have any questions just ask and I’ll try to answer them. next chapter should be up soon. Hope this is satisfying enough for now....
*Lily1186*
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