Vulgarity

"Listen Rose, I'm not asking your forgiveness. God knows I don't deserve it. But need need to put up a united front on this if we want it to work." Jack said in an almost venomous tone. "He fucked us both up. He needs to be taught a lesson." The tiny blonde looked up at him for the first time that day, and flashed him what may have been the fakest smile in existence.
"Jack, it wasn't him. It was whatever was in that nasty water. Neither you or I can pass judgement. He wasn't in control of himself. He made you and I do horrible, terrible things to eachother and him. He was sick Jack. Just like we'd have been if we'd have been locked in that room with that shit for almost two months. We're both still ill from being near it as much as we were. We're recouperating on a healing planet...we've been here for a few days now...and we're both still healing, and we spent very little of our time near it. He's strapped to a table somewhere in this building...detoxifying himself from that water. He'd probably be dead you know. If it weren't for his bodys special make up. He'd be DEAD Jack." She shook her head and wiped her eyes. "He was ill Jack. But you weren't, not in the start, not on that first day. The things you did to me...they've changed who I am as a human being. You, Jack, have hurt me more then he ever could. And the worst part for me Jack, is that I actually started to like it. To want more. I'm healing Jack, but that never will." She shook her head. She didn't even turn to look at him to see how he reacted. She just turned and walked. She couldn't bear to see him cry anymore.

*********

His healing went fast physically. Time Lords heal so much quicker then humans when left to rest. They still had him strapped down most of the time though. He'd almost killed a nurse when he'd been admitted. At least that was what they told him. He didn't remember much of the last few months. Except for darkness, and the sound of Rose crying.He felt stronger then he ever had. but he imagined that was going to pass. The same way all the other "side effects" of his encounter with that water had. He used to be able to fight his way out. He couldn't anymore. He didn't want to. Not since he'd seen Rose. Looking at him from the veiwing room, thin and crying. Why does she always cry now? What had happened? Who hurt her? And where was Jack? Every time he'd asked about him he got odd looks. he could feel him in the building, that had only faltered a few times. But why didn't Jack come to see him with Rose? Why was Rose alone when she was hurting? Why couldn't either of them help her? He let himself get sentimental, and give into his emotions. In 900+ years he'd never felt so alone...or so useless.

*********

"You have to talk to me Jack." The youngish man said from across the table. "Rose says she spoke to you. And now she's startd her regressions again. What did you say to her?" Jack smirked.
"I told her that he deserved to pay for what he'd done. And that I wanted to kill him. And that he was the one who made us hurt each other. That he made me do the things I did." he looked directly into the eyes of the psychiatrist across the table. "I told her Mr. Barnes that he made me into who I am now. What I am now. The Jack that can't eat full meals. The Jack whos scars can't heal. The Jack who thirsts for Time Lord blood all over his hands." For a moment he flashed back to the sight of the Doctors hands covered in his blood. He shook his head to chase away the thought. "The Jack who can't live until that thing doesn't exist anymore."
"We've went thru this Jack. The Doctor you know is not that creature. The Doctor here right now, is not that creature. That creature is gone because what created it is gone. And hopefully for good." He looked sympathetically at Jack.
"What you don't understand Mr. Barnes is that as long as my Doctor is alive, that thing exists. It came from somewhere. I've seen posessions and bodysnatchings Mr. Barnes. That was HIM doing those things. Enjoying it. Making me hurt her. Hurting me himself. He may have been high on something or infected with it...or whatever the technical jargon for it is. But those eyes, that gaze, that was him. And he did nothing to stop it." He shuddered and set his head on the table. "I loved him. I loved him. God I'm so sorry." And the crying started. The doctor called the guard and had him taken to his room.
"Oh, and guard, double up on bed checks. He's tried it twice and we don't want another trip to the infirmary." The guard just nodded and led the crying man out of the room.

**********

Rose noticed the room was empty. Nothing except for her. And that voice, echoing off the walls. "Do you miss me Rose? Come find me." That voice. She trusted it totally once. Now she wasn't sure who it was. The last time she'd heard his call she went and saw the real him. He looked so sad, so weak. Chained to a bed. His eyes begged her to come closer, but all she could do was cry. She couldn't reach out to the glass and touch it. She'd feel him. She'd be forced to get in there and let him out. She couldn't do that. She saw that poor nurse who fell for his charm at the admitting station. He'd seen Rose going by on her strecher. He'd asked to just look at her and when the nurse had led him over a bit closer he'd grabbed her by the throat and choked her. He'd cocked his head slightly and looked at Rose. "Only you can stop this Rosey. Come to me and I'll let her go." God that voice. It sounded like the Doctor had just gotten off a week long drinking binge. She'd screamed louder then she ever had. It took 4 security robots to stun him to the point of letting the woman go. They'd wheeled her away before she saw the full extent of his fight. It was a fight of legends now. The human security guards all spoke of how many robots it took. She didn't listen. She didn't want to. All she wanted was her Doctor back. And her Jack back. She wanted to be two months ago. She wanted to die. She remembered why she was in here. She told the psychiatrist she wanted to die. She cried again. What the hell was going to happen to them. How do you peice together your life when everyhting you love has almost destroyed you. She cried harder. She pulled her knees up and tried to hide from his voice. He wouldn't stop calling her name. "ROSE, ROSE, ROSE, ROSE." She covered her ears. Just please doctor...don't call me rosey.

***********

The Doctor stared at the ceiling. He heard her, clear as day. "Just don't call me Rosey." He'd never called her Rosey in his life. Then there was a flash of his voice. Calling her that. He was in the TARDIS, and she was running. "Rooosseeey, come back to me. I know this TARDIS better then you ever could. I'll catch you. Or he will. Jacks upset with you Rosey. I told him you were disobeying. I told him he couldn't have you tonight because I had to punish you. You know how angry he gets. He likes to hurt himself when I tell him no. Its up to you what he uses Rosey. I've got a whole closet full of knives and guns. If you stop running I won't let him in. I'll just give him a whip, or maybe a hammer." She stopped then. She knew it was ture, Jack would hurt himself for her. She know he wouldn't survive if he was given anything out of the Doctors newly acquired "Box-o-tricks". He put all those weapons within reach knowing full well thatt they'd never take them. Unless he let them have them. He approached her. "Good girl Rosey. Always so noble. You'd save his life if it meant your own." The Doctor felt his restraints again. God in the heavens what had he done. He remembered the tears streaming down her cheeks and he led her back to the room. He rememberd giving Jack a pistol in front of her. Letting her think the only person who loved her would be dead in seconds. He remembered shoving her into her room and locking it from the outside. He remembered her wailing. Screaming Jacks name. He turned to Jack and smiled. In a quiet tone he growled. "Good luck geting any bullets." And he threw him a whip. She wailed for hours. That was the night she broke. God Rose I'm so sorry. No wonder Jack wants nothing to do with me.

**************

Jack was angry. They'd doubled bed checks on him again. They thought he would try something. As the guard came around for a third time in 45 minutes, he grimaced at the light shining in his eyes. "Fuck off with that light. How do you expect me to rest if you keep blinding me?" He asked. The guard sighed.
"Very sparradocally dear Jack." And the door shut. Six months ago he'd have admired that man for his honesty. Now he hated him. Then he heard him, his doctor.
"Jack, I'm so sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. i don't remember it all. I don't remember. Please just help me." Jack didn't want to. And yet he let his memories drift. The pain was intense. The taste of his own blood.

"Do you know why I hit you Jackie boy? Can you attempt a quick guess?" The Doctor lifted Jacks face to look up at his. Jack shook his head quickly. "Because your my property, Jackie. The only person in the universe who doesn't beleive that is on the other side of that door." The Doctor motioned to the door in front of him. The Doctor walked away a bit and let him contemplate this. "If you can make her beleive Jackie, we can all be one happy family again. We can live peacefully as long as you both know how to behave." Jack heard the trunk open. "Hold out your hands. Or would you rather choose your own weapons?" Jack shook his head made an attempt at stopping his tears. He was handed a pair of shakles, a cat of nine tails, and a pair of brass knuckles. "Make her beleive Jackie. Let her accept me. Then we can move on." Jack stood and opened the door.
Rose was in the bed curled up into a tight ball. Without even turning to see him she said, "I'll never beleive he's our Doctor, Jack. You'll have to kill me." He nodded.
"He won't let me though. You know he'll stop me. Then he'll take it out on me. I can't stop him Rose. Neither can you. Why don't you just accept it?" She rolled to look at him. Her left eye was still slightly swollen from her last "persuasion session" as the doctor liked to call it.
"That would be a betrayal Jack. To you, to me, and to the real him." she stood slowly and reached for the shakles.
"I'm sorry Rose. I'm so sorry." He was crying in his cell again...and he could feel the Doctor hurting too.

She layed in the corner. She heard him apologizing, but couldn't accept. This had all been started by his cravings for the Doctor. The one who is, not the one who was. The latter just took advantage of the situation. She tightened herself up tighter into a ball.
She heard the Doctors voice. "How many times Rose. How many times did I make that happen?" She rubbed the tears from her eyes with her palms.
"Jack did the persuasion 8 times in six weeks, by the TARDIS' clock. You gave me a few as well. Though you were worse on a different level. Two different kinds of pain." She shuddered
"And you never lost faith in me? You never hated me?" he asked thru tears.
" Never in the real you Doctor. Only in the universe. In fate. I lost all faith the night you let me beleive Jack killed himself. What you did that night. My god, what you did."

He saw himself outside of the room with Jack, who had whipped himself until he had bled. He saw himself smearing Jacks blood all over himself. On his clothes, on his face, and then swinging back and punching Jack so hard he fell over back wards in the chair. He waited a few moments, then opened her door. He did his best acting that night. She was shaking on the floor and when she saw him it only got worse. He let the edge of his voice soften. "What happened to Jack? Rose, why did he....?" he let his voice trail off. Rose perked, this was the real Doctor wasn't it? "God Rose, please tell me what happened." She cried for a moment, then slowly climbed to her feet.
"Oh, God, Doctor. I'm so glad your here, its...well, its you. Theres something very very wrong with you." She walked past him to the door, seeing nothing but the gun on the floor where Jack had dropped it, Jacks body tipped over in the chair, and blood. So much blood. She started sobbing hysterically, and fell into his arms. She didn't see his smile as he held her and let her cry. He shook off the smile and picked her up and carried her to the bed and sat down with her. He coddled her for a moment before pulling her face away and looking at her.
"God Rose, I'm so sorry. Tell me everything." But before she could start, he kissed her. She let him for a moment before she felt his energy. Then she started fighting back. He held her still and lowered her backwards onto the bed. "Your mine whore." he ran his bloody hands all over her body. "He died for you bitch." The Doctor in her head begged her to stop. "STOP thinking this please!" She kept going. "Hold still, or squirm. Your still my toy anyway." He pulled her panties off and slid inside her. She wept for herself, and the man in the next room she thought was dead.
"You raped me three times that night Doctor. When I thought I had nothing left to fight for. I gave in and I let you do it. Just to distract myself. The third time around I had given up fighting you, I'd grown numb. I'd stopped crying for Jack. Thats when I looked up and saw him in the doorway. What he saw was me, covered in his blood, having what appeared to be consensual sex with the evil you. He became lost that night. He never forgave himself for letting me be broke. That was when he became a killer at heart. And I knew he'd try to kill you. I also knew he wouldn't succeed."

They came in that day and let the Doctor loose. They let him loose in the room he'd allready been locked in anyway. He spend the whole night before trying to save his companions. And when he came out of his heavy sleep he remembered almost everything that had happened. He looked at the psychiatrist. "What was in the water? What did that to me?" He looked at himself in the mirror, his eyes were puffy from crying.
"We wish we knew. The only thing we know is that it came from the fish tank in your quarters. It looked human, the fish tank I mean. Whatever was growing in it made you very violent and worked as a tranqulizer on the humans. They didn't have the drive to fight back. The entire episode lasted a full two months from when you got the tank till when Jack managed to land the ship. He claims to have given you quite a tussle before finally restraining you enough to get a landing punched in." The Doctor nodded.
"I don't expect to see Jack. Not yet. But Rose, can you bring her too me? You can be in the room the entire time. I don't want to harm her. I want her forgiveness." He said. The Psychiatrist ran an analytical eye over him for a long moment.
"All of the foreign substance is out of your bloodstream. If you hurt her it will be your own doing. She will be made aware of this. She makes her own choices at her own speed here, Doctor. She's still healing." He nodded. For all this psychiatrist thought of him, he thought she was amazing, and truly gifted in her guidance.
So now he waited. The agonizing wait. To hear the click of the door, to see her face outside the double thick glass. And then it happened. The door opened and there she was. Beautiful if not for her frailness. She looked like herself though. In her eyes. She was healing, all be it, slowly. He couldn't get her voice out of his head. "Just don't call me Rosey." It was echoing. He streached his energy as thin as he could and touched her with it. He saw it register in her mind. And she was hugging him before he could react.
"Oh, Rose. My beautiful Rose. What have I done to you? What did I tarnish in your soul?" He held her tightly against him. "What have I done to you my darling child?" He kissed her forehead. And then her cheeks. And before he could even ponder the thought, she had kissed him full on the mouth. It that kiss he felt everything she had gone thru for him. The pain, the humiliation. She pulled away and he broke down. He sobbed for her and collaped down to his knees. She dropped down beside him and grabbed his face.
"I take all of this. All of this for you. Jack loved you so much he almost killed me for you. But it took me all this to realize I loved you all along. The very idea that you'd be gone for good hurt me more then anything physical or mental that could've been done to me. I survived for my doctor. To save my doctor. To keep him away from those who would hurt him." She touched his face more insistantly. " Like Jack. If he gets too you I won't be able to stop him. So we must get away from him before you are confronted." He shook his head and wiped his face. And finally he raised his eyes to meet hers.
"I need to confront him. Deadly or not I cannot leave this as an issue open ended. I can't Rose. He's as much a part of me as you are." She shook her head.
"How did I know Doctor. Fine. I'll talk to him first and have lots of guards ready. Because if he blows, we're all in trouble." She stood and walked toward the door. "And Doctor, I will be in the room. I can't let you by yourself with him. I need to be here." He looked angry, but didn't argue.

So once again he sat looking at the door. Just waiting. Then Jack was on the other side of the glass looking at him like an animal ready for the hunt. He was handcuffed when they brought him inside. He looked disgustedly at the Doctor. Before anyone could stop him he leaned foreward and spit in the Doctors face.
"You used to be so smard Doctor. Bringing a man in who wants to kill you, just to have a visit, isn't so bright." He said as the Doctor wiped his cheek.
" I deserved that spit, I really did. At least my form did anyway." He tried sending out his energy to get Jacks attention. It felt like punching a brick wall. He had to touch him somehow.
Rose came up beside the Doctor and touched his face lightly. She caught a glimpse of what he was up to. So she paced behind the Doctor trying to find something hurtful enough to get him to break. She was trying to void out her own feeling, when the Doctor swung to look at her and narrowed his eyes. He grabbed her hand and started pulling her memories again, and after a moment he turned and looked at Jack.
"You bastard. She wasn't exaggerating. This all started with you. You wanted me, and you didn't fight back when I made you take her to prove yourself to me. You sure enjoy preaching and judging other cases of rape. What about your own, you son of a bitch?" Rose gripped that Doctors shoulder. "You should know that protecting her from me is my job. Why didn't you do that? She's fogiven me. Wheres your forgiveness? She's not giving it to you because you don't deserve it." The Doctor leaned back in his chair.
Rose leaned foreward and almost hissed at him. " Was it worth it? Ruining all of our lives because your thinking with your prick? And you still end up alone. Only this time its permanent. We're gone. The universe is huge Jack, good luck finding us." She looked at him and then back at the Doctor. The stare between Rose and Jack was icy. She saw the Doctors shoulders slump.
"Rose, lets get checked out of here. I need to be away from here NOW." He stood and looked at Jack. "When you've forgiven yourself enough, I'd be willing to talk it thru. But not now. Your angry, and you need serious help. Come to me later on in life. I've got time. But so help me god, if you come near Rose again I will hurt you all over again. And this time it'll be all Doctor all the time." He walked over to Rose and touched her face. "You ready to check out? Or do you need more time? I can get you transfered out. To a different facility." He seemed to be wracking his brain. She smiled up at him.
"I don't need therapy when I have my Doctor." She took his hand and they left.

After getting their things and finding the TARDIS, they stood in the doorway. "Rose, are you ready to go back in there?" he asked.
"Yes." was all she said.
"How long before Jack comes after us Doctor? I know he will. The only reason he let us out now was because he couldn't find a quick enough way out yet."
"We've got a bit. But its not enough. So we have to go. He will try to kill me again."
They opened the door to the TARDIS and took off.

Someone not too far away found a security guard bound in duct tape, naked with the exception of his underwear and a pile of patient scrubs under his head, stuffed into a closet in the asylum. The security breach siren went off as they dematerialized.
The Doctor couldn't help but smile. "The chase begins."