Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

Rock Me	By : Ria Category: Supernatural > General Views: 3525 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Summary: Dean has an annual meeting with a nasty creature and this time Sam gets to know about it. What will he do when he finds out that Dean's suffering is all his fault?

Warning: Rape, Angst, Slash, Past child abuse, H/C, Non-con, Torture

Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of writing this stuff. I do it for the people who enjoy reading them.

Rating: NC-17

Spoilers: Up to and including Asylum

Some of the transcript is in this piece from Asylum so no, I'm not copying or anything. Thanks so much to a friend for the transcript from that episode.
All the ideas of Dean's pain left Sam over the next few days. They managed to get horribly sidetracked when they left their hotel that day and ended up far from their destination dealing with a haunted asylum.

Talking to the shrink felt good, but it made Sam realize that he didn't know his brother at all. They had talked about various issues and the psychiatrist had brought up different problems they may be having. Sam couldn't answer the man about so many things. All he knew about Dean seemed to be the bad things. He was controlling and too loyal to their father. Sam was suppressing some serious rage against his father at the moment.

He had called, not told Sam anything, and left him to deal with Dean who was obviously a wreck. He was angry and was starting to think that his dad wasn't coming back because he wanted to suck Sam into the life from before and that Dean was helping him.

One week after Thanksgiving...whatever. It's probably a code word for 'keep up the good work fucking up your brother's life.

Sam gave in and helped in the asylum case, but it went so badly that he didn't know how to handle the aftermath. He thought back to what had happened in that building. He knew that his brother, in the shower yet again, was also thinking about the words exchanged that day.

SAM'S POV

~~beginning of transcript usage~~

"I told you I looked everywhere. I didn�t find a hidden room."

"Well, that�s why they call it hidden."

Sam tried not to slam his brother in the face. He always thinks he's so smart, but I'm the one who went to college. Not you!

"There�s a door here."

Why do you always have to be right?!? I hate you! Sam aimed his shotgun at Dean, just wanting to pull the trigger, but first he had some things to say. He loved the frightened look that crossed his brother's face. He felt the power of that moment. Everything would be different now.

"Sam, put the gun down."

"Is that an order?"

"Nah...that�s more of a friendly request."

Always with the sarcasm. I'm not a child! I'm not listening to you anymore. You're the reason Jess is dead. She'd have been fine if I had stayed out of this business. "�Cuz I�m getting pretty tired of taking your orders." He figures it's time to end this, but Dean wouldn't shutup. He thought it was Dr. Ellicott's fault, but Sam knew better. It was Dean's fault. Everything was Dean's fault. "For once in your life, shut your mouth."

"What are you going to do, Sam? Gun�s filled with rock salt. Not gunna kill me-"

That's it! You think you're so fucking smart! He fires the shotgun, sending Dean flying through the hidden door and into the room beyond. "No. But it�ll hurt like hell." Oh poor baby...he's waking up and now he's trying to reason with me. I'm not burning Ellicott's bones. I'm not doing shit. I am normal, motherfucker!

Sam begins questioning Dean's desperation for approval from their father and even tells him he's pathetic. He watches as Dean's resolve to live seems to fizzle out. The real interesting moment came when Dean gave Sam his gun. He was going to blow the bitch away, but Dean managed to get in the last word anyway.

"You hate me that much? You think you can kill your own brother?"

Kill my brother? No..I'm killing you! You're not a real brother! A real brother would stand by me and not order me around all the time. Life was so good without you in it. He pulled the trigger and felt it give way. Dean's face was still intact and he pulled it again and again. DIE!

He felt himself being knocked over and then heard Dean taunt him right before knocking him out. When he woke up Dean was asking if he was going to kill him and he thought that was a pretty stupid question. After all, it was Thanksgiving and the bad guy was gone for good.

As they said goodbye to the kids they'd helped, the memory came flooding back to him. He watched Dean see the kids off, but was almost wishing they had stayed. What now? Apologize...that's what...
"Hey Dean�I�m sorry man. I said some awful things back there."

"You remember all that?"

"Yeah. It�s like I couldn�t control it-"Yeah...it wasn't even my fault! "� but I didn�t mean it. Any of it." Sam frowns when it seems that Dean doesn't believe him. "Do we need to talk about this?"

"No. I�m not really in the sharing caring kind of mood. I just want to get some sleep."

~~end transcript usage and Sam's POV~~

It was now Thanksgiving Day. They had walked out of the building this morning and things had been quiet since they found a hotel.

Sam leaned back in bed and stared at the ceiling. Soon he gave into the sleep that wanted to claim him.

~~begin transcript usage and Dean's POV~~

Dean let the warm water soothe his aches and pains, but was unable to handle the pain when it hit his chest. He just stood there, his forehead leaning against the cold tile and tried to force the night before out of his thoughts, but they insisted on being replayed.

He remembers the slight change in Sam's voice when he told him to get away from the door, but the sight of his baby brother holding a shotgun on him nearly undid all of the strength he'd managed to gain in the day and a half since he remembered what date was coming up. At first he thought it was a sick joke, but it became really obvious that it wasn't.

When Sam started complaining about following orders, Dean realized that Ellicott must have done something. He was angry and scared. The idea that the sick spirit had touched his brother at all made him want to channel the fucker and let Sammy blow him to hell. He tried to explain his suspicions to Sam, but he didn't want to hear it. He even tried to reason with him, but before he knew it he heard the deafening blast of the shotgun and then saw nothing, but blackness.

It was only a moment until he woke up, but he knew that time was running out. He told Sam that it would be okay. He refused to blame his brother for what was going on. He couldn't. Sam loved him. He couldn't lose him after being rejected by his father when he had called on him crying for help. Sam wouldn't leave him, too. He just wanted things to be normal between them again.

"I am normal. I�m just telling the truth for the first time. I mean, why are we even here? �Cuz you�re following dad�s orders like a good little soldier? �Cuz you always do what he asks without question? Are you that desperate for his approval?"

Ouch...Sammy, please! The first true order Dad gave me was to get you out of the house and keep you safe. It led to your survival. I could never go against a man who helped me be a part of your rescue. I'm desperate...yes, I am, because he's never looked at me the same since...No, he wouldn't fall for this. "This isn�t you talking, Sam."

"That�s the difference between you and me. I have a mind of my own. I�m not pathetic, like you."

Pathetic...it wouldn't be the first time he'd been called that. "So what are you going to do, huh? You�re gunna kill me?" You can't kill me. Please, Sammy! Whatever you do, don't kill me! You have no clue what you'd be dooming yourself to!

Dean knew what he had to do and grabbed his gun, not caring that it was loaded. He knew his brother wouldn't hurt him. "Real bullets are gonna work a hell of a lot better than rock salt. Take it!" he frowned when Sam took it and aimed it. No...he won't do it. I know he won't. He's my brother. He loves me. This really is just Ellicott...isn't it? "You hate me that much? You think you can kill your own brother?" Please Sammy... "Well then go ahead. Pull the trigger."

The shock that Dean felt when he heard the clicking of the trigger is something he'll never be able to fully understand. It took him several moments, in which time Sam pulled the trigger more times, before he flew into action. He knocks Sam over and stands up. "Man I�m not gonna give you a loaded pistol!" I thought I gave you a loaded pistol...How did I forget to load it? He knocks his brother out and then apologizes to him. He wanted to say so much more. He wanted to pull Sam up and hold him close, frantically trying to save his brother from Ellicott and himself from the insanity threatening to overwhelm him. He wanted to scream, Why?, but he knew that no answer would satisfy him now. Regardless of what happened to them, Sammy didn't love him enough to break through this. That was the bottom line.

Dean searched for the body and found it. He douses it in lighter fluid and looks for his lighter just as he's hit by a table. He sees Ellicott and fights him, screaming when the spirit grabs him and starts to electrocute him. He gasps as he feels the anger fueling him. He wanted to kill the doctor all over again. He wanted to rip him limb from limb for daring to hurt Sammy. He loved his brother so much. And that's when it hit him. He loved Sam enough. The knowledge made Sam's betrayal sting that much more.

"Don�t be afraid. I�m going to help you. I�m going to make you all better."

Sorry...nobody can make it better. Not ever again. He throws the lighter onto the body and moves away as the spirit crumbles to dust. He sees Sam getting up and checks on him to make sure he's okay, even throwing in a bit of sarcasm. He knew that if he didn't he'd fall apart right there and he was hoping that his brother wouldn't remember any of it.

He told the kids goodbye and just tried to hold himself together. As long as Sam didn't remember, he'd be fine.

"Hey Dean�I�m sorry man. I said some awful things back there."

Sammy, don't. I can't hear this now. "You remember all that?" Please say no.

"Yeah. It�s like I couldn�t control it � but I didn�t mean it. Any of it."

You couldn't control it? I could control it. I only loved you more with Ellicott touching me. You have no idea how much I love you. I wonder if you would do what I have to do next week if our positions were reversed. I don't think you would. I really don't. God, I just wish I'd loaded that pistol.

"Do we need to talk about this?"

Look at you...look at the disbelief on your face. You think that it's out of the ordinary for me to not just forgive you? I'll forgive you. Hell, I've already forgiven you. Now I have to forgive myself for not being the type of man who can inspire the sort of love that I feel for you. "No. I�m not really in the sharing caring kind of mood. I just want to get some sleep."

~~End transcript usage and Dean's POV~~

And yet Dean was in the shower, not sleeping at all, but wishing that he could. He knew that he would only have nightmares. Even awake, closing his eyes brought forth the image of Sam pulling that trigger. The disappointment and rage that crossed his face instead of the relief that Dean thought he'd see was what was tearing him open. He didn't know if he could take it and heaved a great sob that he was sure would be covered by the water.

He toweled off and wrapped the towel around his waist. He didn't feel able to bend over to pull his underwear on because of the pain in his back and chest. He just grabbed the pill bottle out of his bag and looked at it. These should be saved for next week, but I have to do something... He grabbed two of the powerful pain pills and downed them, cupping some of the water from the tap into his mouth to wash them down. He jerked his head back, smiling slightly as they went down. He'd sleep well that night.

He gathered his things and walked out. After throwing his stuff into a pile he chanced a look at Sam in the other bed. He was grateful to see he was out and dropped his towel, letting the crisp sheets fold him up. It didn't take any time for the medicine to take effect and make him dead to the world.

That was the only reason that Dean, highly trained and ever alert, never heard his phone ring and didn't stir when Sam called his name. He never knew that his father had called him to comfort him before his life was torn apart more than it had been on this Thanksgiving Day.

TBC...
- 1
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Rock Me