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Redemption (Kurt, Kurofsky) - NC-17	By : ibshafer Category: G through L > Glee Views: 5726 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee and make no money off the writing of these degenerate fics...

Chapter List
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Story: Redemption – Part 2/?: Roses
Fandom: Glee
Author: ibshafer
Rating: PG-13 for now
Character/Pairing: Kurt/Karofsky
Disclaimer: I don't own these people, they own themselves and are just nice enough to let me spin them around the page now and then.
Summary: Because everyone deserves a shot at it, even Dave Karofsky
Warnings: none
A/N: The author does not in any way condone bullying or any form of aggression towards homosexuals, or anyone else, for that matter.

Redemption: Roses
- ibshafer
“I don’t know where to start
This cage ‘round my heart
Locked up what I’d meant to say
Or I felt all along the way
Just wondering how come I couldn’t take your breath away.
Cause I never sent roses
I never did enough
I didn't know how to love you
Though I loved you so much
When I should've sent roses”
I Should Have Sent You Roses – Elton John/Bernie Taupin/Leon Russell
He’d been sitting in his car for an hour now, outside a diner in Cridersville, Ohio, trying to talk himself into, well, some course of action.
Stay or go, pick one, Kurt.
Maybe he should have told someone where he was going, what he was doing, but that would have opened it all up for debate. And by “debate,” he really meant “argument.” Finn would have told him he was insane and Burt would have yelled at him in that low-key way of his that was almost worse than the full-shouting kind. And Carole? She was the toughest one of them all. She would have just barred the door…
Why was he sitting outside a greasy truck stop in Cridersville, looking through a filthy window as a line backer in a red letter jacket nursed a cup of coffee and worried at a piece of apple pie with a fork?
Kurt wasn’t a saint; he knew he wasn’t above crossing a line here and there to get what he wanted. Nothing like threatening to kill someone, but he acknowledged that there was…some aspect of “threat” in his manipulations. (And it would be while before he stopped feeling a pang of guilt every time he looked at Finn…) Kurt had never had a problem accepting who he was, but being open about it hadn’t been easy. It was a struggle for him.
It was a struggle for anyone.
Dave Karofsky was struggling with it.
Kurt shouldn’t have cared. Anyone would have told him that Dave’s struggle wasn’t his problem – if they’d known what Dave was struggling with, that is. But Kurt knew and he’d done a far amount of reading.
He knew that bullying was only the second worst way of handling the realization you were gay. That while some people took it out on others, there were some, even the bullies, who eventually took it out on themselves.
He’d told himself he was just there to help Karofsky, that as scared as he’d been of the big jerk, afraid of what Karofsky could do to him, he was also scared of what the big jerk could do to himself.
Because people did that.
People killed themselves every day.
‘I love you…’
As screwed up as it was, he’d never be able to forgive himself if that happened.
Not because he felt anything for his tormentor, but because no one should have to go through that, no one should have to think that killing themselves was their only option.
His friends might not have understood it, that as another gay teen, he couldn’t let that happen, even to someone who had, at the height of their own fear, threatened to kill him…
And so he’d done all of this without telling anyone, not even Blaine. Shit, Blaine would have handcuffed them together so Kurt either couldn’t meet with Karofsky or, at least, couldn’t have met with him alone.
Thinking about the menace in those piercing eyes, the forced smile as the line backer had poked a finger at him, run it down his chest, then grabbed the wedding cake topper from Kurt’s shaking fingers – “Can I have this?” – he felt his resolve waiver for a moment.
I must be crazy…
Then he flashed forward to that awkward face-to-face in Principal Sylvester’s office, the Hummels vs. the Karofskys (the bully’s father had been so soft-spoken, so reasonable), at the so-faint-no-one-else-would-have-seen-it gratitude in the Neanderthal’s eyes when Kurt didn’t out him right then and there, his own mild surprise that the walking mountain was an A student, and not the ignoramus Kurt had always assumed he was, the surprise expulsion from a surprisingly sensitive Principal Sylvester, and then the way Karofsky glared at him as he’d walked out, shaking his head as though disappointed in Kurt, as though, somehow, Kurt should have understood what all of it had meant…
‘I love you…’
Words choked out under cover of darkness from across an empty parking lot while he’d sat safely behind heavy shatterproof glass and the side-reinforced carriage of this SUV.
‘I don’t expect anything from you, I just wanted you to know… And to thank you…’
What was he doing here?
Couldn’t he have helped Karofsky “deal” by email? Or the phone?
What had possessed him to dial the guy’s number and set this up?
He’d been careful to choose a place that was public and well-lit, but one that was also far enough off the beaten Lima track that they wouldn’t see anyone they knew. Why?
Why had he chosen to meet with the guy at all?
Was it just because no one had ever wanted him before?
Or was it the realization that someone who wanted so strongly they were driven to such an act of passion – that kiss had spoken volumes, realization, frustration, anger, lust, desperation, and yes, love – could feel all of that strongly enough to change?
To change how they dealt with it?
To come to accept it?
Was there hope, was there redemption, for Dave Karofsky?
Kurt shivered, even in the blast of heat from the SUV’s big vents.
He loves me?
Was that possible?
There was any number of better ways to express that feeling, but then Kurt had to laugh out loud – what better way for someone he’d called a Neanderthal on more than one occasion – as the image of himself dressed in an animal skin and being dragged by his hair back into the big lug’s cave played across the Broadway stage in his head…
~*~*~*~
The tarnished bell on the front door had jangled twice as he’d come through, but it was the expression on Karofsky’s face that had fairly sung as he’d slid into the booth.
Laying his gloves on the table top, face a bright red from cold and the smile he was fighting with all his might, Kurt had grabbed the menu and started turning pages.
Dave still hadn’t said a word – his expression a ruddy mix of surprise and relief – and then Kurt looked up briefly, gave in to his smile for a split second, before turning back to the menu.
“You should have just sent roses…”
tbc…
~*~*~*~
‘Cause I never sent roses
I never did enough
I didn't know how to love you
Though I loved you so much
When I should've sent roses
When you crossed my mind
No other reason
Than the fact you were mine
I should've sent roses’
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Redemption (Kurt, Kurofsky) - NC-17