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Be A Man	By : cowgirl65 Category: 1 through F > The Big Valley Views: 3052 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I in no way own The Big Valley. I make no money from writing this, just the personal satisfaction of (hopefully!) entertaining those who love the show as much as I do.

Chapter List
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This chapter is based on an incident mentioned in the episode “Night of the Wolf”, though I did fudge the timeline a bit

“I finished copying those contracts, sir.” Jarrod held out the papers, which were taken and perused carefully.
“Good job, son.” Percy Harkins lay the contracts on the desk. “You have a very neat hand.”
“Thank you, sir.” Jarrod hesitated and then took a deep breath before speaking again. “I made a few notes, sir, and put them at the back. I was wondering if the reciprocation clause might need to be tightened up a bit.” He stood nervously as Harkins raised an eyebrow.
The experienced lawyer shuffled through the papers to the spot Jarrod had indicated. He frowned thoughtfully and then smiled. “You’re right. Good eye. I’ll make the changes tomorrow morning.” He looked up at Jarrod. “You’re going to make a fine lawyer, Mr. Barkley.”
Jarrod stood a little straighter. “Thank you, sir,” he said again.
Harkins rose to his feet and clapped the young man on the back. “Well, time to knock off for the day. Make sure everything is locked up.”
“Yes, sir.”
Jarrod waited for Harkins to don his coat and hat and leave the building before locking the door carefully behind him. He made sure the office was tidy before heading out the back, locking that door as well, and making his way up the back stairs to the small apartment above the office. He was grateful to the respected attorney for letting him use the living space on the second floor for only a nominal fee and even more grateful that the man was giving him the opportunity to read law in his office. He lit the stove to heat up a can of beans and the stewed turnips left over from the day before.
While he waited for his dinner to be ready, Jarrod sat on the rickety chair at the small table and penned a short letter to his mother. He’d sent word when he got settled, not giving any details but letting her know he was well and was starting to follow his dream. He looked at the bank draft she’d sent in her return missive and carefully tucked it into the envelope with his letter. He appreciated the gesture, but had resolved he was going to make it on his own without touching any of the Barkley money. With the money he was saving by Harkins’ generosity, the job he had at the docks in the mornings before the law office opened provided him with enough to cover the essentials. It wasn’t the lifestyle he’d gotten used to over the past several years, but it was his, coming out of his own sweat and determination.
Jarrod pushed back his loneliness as he sealed the envelope and wrote the address on the front. He missed his mother; he missed his brother and his baby sister. He missed riding in the wide-open spaces; he even missed his day-to-day chores on the ranch. But when he’d accompanied Harkins into the courtroom for the first time and listened to his mentor’s impassioned pleas for his client’s life, Jarrod never thought he would feel an exhilaration to equal it until the verdict came down exonerating their client. Regrets and homesickness aside, Jarrod knew he was doing the right thing.
He studied a volume of case law that Harkins had assigned to him while he ate, then cleaned up and got ready for bed. He lay on the hard cot and stared at the ceiling, wondering if his father missed him at all before he fell asleep.

*

Jarrod woke in a cold sweat. His heart was racing as he looked wildly around the room. Slowly, he recognized his surroundings as his lodgings in San Francisco and he took a deep breath as he tried to banish the horrific feeling of being trapped. He waited for the familiar nightmare of being stuck and unable to move to subside, but the claustrophobic feeling only intensified.
Then suddenly, he felt it. It wasn’t the same nightmare of his accident, it was Nick. His brother was terrified. Jarrod coughed reflexively at the taste of dust-filled air. He could feel Nick’s panic at being trapped in that dark space, at never being able to escape. Jarrod was again thrown back to that hellish time he’d been trapped under his horse and struggled to free himself from the memory.
Jarrod tossed off the covers and threw on his clothes. He rushed downstairs, wrote a hurried note to tell Harkins that he had to leave suddenly due to a family emergency and hoped he’d still have a position when he returned. He ran the fifteen or so blocks to the wharf and managed to locate Cal Parker. Breathlessly, he told his boss that his brother was in serious danger and he had to go to him. Parker could see the distress on the young man’s face.
“Go,” he ordered. “Take my horse, he’s tethered out back.”
Jarrod was speechless and managed to stutter a thank you.
Parker clapped him on the back. “You’re a hard worker, son. Don’t worry, your job will be waiting when you get back.”
Jarrod grabbed his employer’s hand and shook it vigorously before running to the back of the warehouse, untying the waiting horse’s reins and vaulting into the saddle.
The trip was a blur. Looking after his mount’s welfare was something that had been ingrained in Jarrod as long as he could remember, so he alternated the hard riding with periods of walking beside the black to give him a breather. He made his way almost on instinct and as he got closer to home, he received a stronger sense of his brother. He could feel Nick crying out to him and the determined young man focused on those feelings, trying to get an idea of where Nick was.
A dark, damp hole. It wasn’t a well, the shaft wasn’t vertical. There was a hint of light and the occasional bit of fresh air. He could feel Nick try and try to push the heavy beam off his leg to no avail and yell again for help.
Jarrod suddenly knew where his twelve-year-old brother was. It was an old mine shaft that they used to play near, pretending it was a dragon’s lair or Ali Baba’s cave of wonders. Nick always wanted to go in and explore, but the more cautious older brother remembered the warnings about how unstable the abandoned mine was and had always been able to talk his more impetuous younger sibling out of going inside. But Nick’s thirst for adventure had obviously won out over caution and Jarrod hoped he’d be able to free him.

The shadows were lengthening into late afternoon when Jarrod arrived at the entrance to the mine.
“Nick!” he hollered. “Nick, can you hear me?” He listened and his belly clenched when he didn’t hear a response. “Nick!!”
Jarrod strained and when he heard the faint, “Get me out of here,” he felt a wash of relief.
“I’m coming, Nick!” he called. He pushed his way through the debris that partially blocked the entrance. “Nick, talk to me,” he said in a lower voice, not wanting to disturb the fragile state of the mine.
“Jarrod?’ the hoarse voice came back. “Jarrod, I can’t move. I can’t feel my leg.”
Jarrod scrambled over a large pile of rocks. “Hold on, Nick.” He moved a few more cautious steps and paused to let his eyes adjust to the dimming light. He caught a slight movement off to the side and made his way over to his brother. “Nick?” Jarrod said softly as he put a hand on the dust-covered shoulder.
“Jarrod…” Nick started to cough and Jarrod slipped an arm under his shoulders to raise him slightly. “Thanks.” Jarrod gently lowered him when his breathing eased and moved to inspect the beam that pinned Nick’s leg.
“If I can get this lifted, do you think you can pull yourself out?” he asked.
“I think so. But Jarrod,” Nick worried, “it’s awfully heavy.”
“Don’t worry,” the older brother assured the younger. Jarrod eyed the large post. It was big, but he had no choice if he didn’t want to leave Nick alone to get help and Nick had been there too long as it was. Taking a deep breath, Jarrod bent his knees and leaned over. He took a firm hold and ignored the rough splinters of wood that dug into his hands. “Okay, Nick,” he said, “here goes.” Jarrod prepared to lift the massive beam. The muscles he’d developed loading heavy freight over the past few months strained and trembled. The beam started to move inch by inch and he could hear the scrabbling as Nick scooted out from underneath as quickly as he could.
“I’m out,” came the laboured call.
Jarrod slowly lowered the beam and rested his hands on his knees while he caught his breath. He walked over and collapsed beside his brother. “The leg?’ he asked.
There was a long moment. “I can move my toes,” Nick told him.
“Then let’s get out of here.” Jarrod helped Nick sit and pulled his brother’s arm around his shoulders. He grabbed Nick’s hand and put his own arm around him. Jarrod pulled both of them to their feet.
“Oh, dang, now it’s starting to hurt!” Nick exclaimed, but he limped with Jarrod’s help towards the entrance and Jarrod hoisted and pushed him over the debris. The sun was sinking below the horizon as they made it into the fresh air.
“Darned horse must’ve taken off,” Nick grumbled and Jarrod chuckled in relief as he massaged the circulation back into the formerly trapped and thankfully unbroken leg.
“If that’s all we’ve got to worry about, brother Nick, then we’re doing pretty good.” Jarrod boosted Nick into the saddle of the borrowed black. He knew the horse was tired from the long ride and opted to walk.
“I knew you’d come, Jarrod,” Nick said after a few minutes. “Even if I was found before you got there, I knew you’d come.”
Jarrod was warmed by the faith his brother showed. Even though Nick was four years younger, they had always been close.
“I’ve missed you.”
Jarrod swallowed past the lump in his throat and looked up at Nick. “I’ve missed you too.”
“Are you gonna be staying home?” There was a hopeful look on his brother’s face and Jarrod had to look away as he shook his head.
“I don’t think I can.”
A heavy sigh came from the youth on top the horse. “Why don’t you wanna work on the ranch, Jarrod? We always had a good time on roundup and branding and stuff.”
“I can’t really explain it, Nick.” The older brother tried to put his feelings into words. “I do like working on the ranch, but that’s not where my heart is.” He looked back up at Nick. “I mean, my heart will always be with you and the rest of the family, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve missed you, but...” He groped for the right words.
“But you want to be a lawyer and make things right.”
Jarrod felt something ease inside him at Nick’s wide grin. His brother did understand and didn’t resent him for leaving. “Yeah.”
The rest of the journey home was occupied with stories of happenings in the valley, tales of their little sister’s antics and what Jarrod had been up to in San Francisco. It made Jarrod glad to see the pride on his brother’s face when he described the job he had on the docks and how he was helping prepare for trials and draw up contracts. Nick made sure Jarrod saw the spurs he’d been give by their father, slightly dusty but still firmly attached to his boots. It strengthened Jarrod to know that, no matter what, he and Nick would always be as close as it was possible for brothers to be.

It had been full dark for a while by the time the brothers arrived at the ranch buildings. Jarrod stopped the weary horse in front of the house and made his own tired body support Nick’s weight as he slid out of the saddle. Nick leaned into him as he hobbled across the porch. Jarrod turned the handle and pushed open the big oak door. He wasn’t sure what sort of reception he was going to get, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him from helping his brother as much as he could.
A lamp was burning in the foyer and the fire in the hearth spread a warm glow through the room. Jarrod and Nick both looked up at the rustle of fabric as their mother came in through the kitchen.
“Nick!” she cried. She rushed over and took his grimy face in her hands and kissed him. “Everyone’s been out looking for you and I’ve been frantic! Where have you been?”
Jarrod stood to the side, feeling a bit uncomfortable until Victoria turned to him. “Thank you for…” she started until she realized who it was. “Jarrod?” she said, shocked.
“Hello, Mother,” he replied quietly.
“Oh, Jarrod!” she exclaimed and hugged both of her sons tightly. “How did you find him?”
Jarrod shrugged in her embrace. “I’m not sure,” he admitted. “But I think Nick’s wore out. I know I am.”
Victoria turned a concerned glance on her youngest son. “Are you hurt, Nick?”
“Just my leg,” he told her, “but it’s not too bad.”
Victoria gave him a stern look. “Your father’s still out looking, but I’m going to send someone for Dr. Merar. And both of you need a bath and a hot meal.” She reached out and cupped each of their cheeks as her expression softened. “It’s so good to have you both home, safe and sound.”
Jarrod felt his mother’s unconditional love and had to hold back a tear. He’d missed her so much when he was gone. It felt so right to be back home that he started to reconsider his decision to leave. Maybe it was worth giving up his dream of being a lawyer to be with his family again; after all, it wasn’t as if he hated ranching. Victoria hustled them both upstairs and the conflict in Jarrod’s heart grew. He was tired, he told himself, and hungry. He could decide what he was going to do later. For the moment at least, he would enjoy just being home again.
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Be A Man