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Falling Apart	By : cowgirl65 Category: 1 through F > The Big Valley Views: 1167 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Jarrod bid his secretary goodnight and closed the door behind her. Loosening his tie as he walked, he went over to the array of crystal decanters and poured himself a large measure of scotch. A stiff drink might make the bitter taste of defeat a bit easier to swallow.
He’d been torn about taking the case; defending a man charged under California’s sodomy law hit a little too close to home. But he’d never fault a man for the sins he himself was guilty of, so he hadn’t truly hesitated. All through the trial he wondered if the judge would think him a little too impassioned on his client’s behalf, but his reputation for zeal in the courtroom served him well in that regard. Unfortunately, it hadn’t been enough to save his client.
Charles Williams was convicted and summarily sentenced to twenty years in prison for the unthinkable offence of being intimate with another man. Jarrod gulped back his scotch as he remembered disputing the sufficiency of the common-law definition, ‘the abominable and detestable crime against nature’, and the judge’s response of, ¹“Every person of ordinary intelligence understands what the crime against nature with a human being is.”
Jarrod hadn’t told his lover the nature of the case before he left Stockton and had no way of knowing if it would be reported in the papers. Even if Dave read about it and asked him, Jarrod didn’t know if he could talk about what happened. He knew he had no reason to feel ashamed; his client had, after all, committed the crime of which he was accused and he had defended Williams to the best of his ability.
But he was ashamed nonetheless. He was ashamed of a justice system and a society that had no tolerance for those who were different, whether it be Chinese immigrants or men like himself and his client.
There was a deeper shame as well, the shame of a man who’d been brought up with strong morals and whose private life was in direct contradiction to them. He’d wondered sometimes, deep in the night, whether he was responsible for causing Dave to stray from a normal path. Dave had been married to Daniel’s mother and, from what his son said, it had been a happy marriage. Maybe society was right and his relationship with Dave was an abomination. If he hadn’t come along, maybe Dave would have found another woman to love.
Jarrod finished his drink and looked at the papers on his desk. Nothing that couldn’t wait until morning and the lawyer decided to go back to his hotel, get a bite to eat and try to get some sleep. He knew his melancholy would vanish as soon as he returned to Stockton in two days’ time; all it would take was one of Dave’s sexy smiles and his doubts would melt away like they always did.
He tucked his discarded tie into his pocket and turned down the gaslights until the only light was that of the streetlamps shining through the window. As he closed the heavy drapes, he heard the door behind him. Before he could turn and see who it was, a hard blow to the back of his head sent him staggering against the wall. He tried to fight back, but the surprise attack incapacitated him enough for the intruder to gain the upper hand. Another heavy blow to the head and Jarrod fell across the desk.
“You think you’re so smart, standing up there in your fine suit with your fine manners,” the intruder growled as he tied Jarrod’s hands tightly behind his back. “Defending a fucking sodomite. Do you have any idea what men like him do?” Jarrod tried to say something, but a dirty rag stuffed in his mouth almost choked him. “Do you?”
The back of Jarrod’s pants were jerked hard enough to make him retch and tear the fabric. He heard the rattle of a belt being unfastened and tried to get away, but the man brought his knee up between Jarrod’s legs and they buckled from the pain.
“I’ll show you what filthy sodomites do.”
Jarrod knew what was going to happen next. The fear from the initial attack had turned to tension and that tension resulted in excruciating pain when he was abruptly penetrated.
“They rape innocents,” the man grunted as he thrust his hard sex viciously into Jarrod’s ass. “Don’t let them become real men.”
Jarrod knew struggling was futile as his attacker’s weight pinned him to the desk, but he couldn’t stop himself. His attempts to break free only resulted in more pain when the man grabbed his hair and slammed his face against the desk.
The assault seemed to go on forever. It wasn’t as if his body hadn’t been brutally used before, but it had always been of his own free will, twisted as those desires might have been. Even his relationship with Dave didn’t always involve softly sensual lovemaking; once in a while it did, but their couplings were rough more often than not. All that should have made the assault more bearable, but it didn’t. His attacker continued on, stabbing into his ass mercilessly while he expounded a litany of obscenities and offences of men who had sex with other men.
Jarrod wanted to yell out that not all men like his client forced themselves on others, just like most men didn’t go around raping women. He wanted to tell his attacker that he was being just like those he abhorred by committing the same offence. He wanted to say that men were capable of love for each other no less than a man and a woman. But he couldn’t say any of that, not only because of the filthy cloth in his mouth, but because although he loved Dave as much as he’d ever loved anything in his life, he still harboured guilt for being so deviant in the eyes of society and the guilt that he might have corrupted Dave into his aberrant lifestyle.
He didn’t know how long he was bent over his desk and raped with a savage hunger. But finally the man shuddered, pulled out and released Jarrod to let him crumple to the floor.
“Remember this next time before you defend a fucking sodomite.”
Jarrod tried to get up, but as he heard the door close, he couldn’t hold on and passed out.
He woke in a haze of pain. Working his mouth, he was able to spit out the rag and spent several minutes just breathing. His head throbbed and pain shot up his backside and down his legs. He struggled to his knees and leaned against the desk until the room stopped spinning. Using the wood for support, he managed to get his feet under him.
Jarrod fumbled behind his back to open the top drawer, removed the sharp letter opener and sawed through the rope. He nicked himself once or twice, but the strands eventually parted. Hands freed, he stumbled to the cabinet to retrieve his spare set of clothes and changed his pants before he left the office.
He managed to hail a cab and everything was hazy after that. All he knew was that he got to his hotel, got his key from the desk clerk without too many questions and somehow managed to draw a hot bath. Jarrod scrubbed himself raw to remove the traces of blood and semen from his body and curled up tightly on the bed to spend a restless night of half-sleep interrupted by images of violence, of torture and of the sinking feeling he was going to burn in Hell for being who he was.

A/N:¹Jarrod’s case is based in history. “ People v. Williams was decided Sep. 21, 1881. The exact date of the decision is provided by the Report of the Attorney-General of the State of California 1881-1882, page 56. This probably was the first prosecution for sodomy in the state. A review of the complete set of such reports from statehood reveals no prosecutions prior to this one. “
from http://www.glapn.org/sodomylaws/sensibilities/california.htm#fn9
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Falling Apart