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Lost Without You	By : Blugrl123 Category: S through Z > Sherlock (BBC) > Sherlock (BBC) Views: 2211 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Sherlock no matter how much I wish I did. No profit, just for fun.

Chapter List
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“Hello baby brother.” Mycroft said from the driver’s seat, “John.” The boys got in the car and it pulled away. “I was already here when I got your text. I was dropping off something for your principal.” Sherlock rolled his eyes and gave John a knowing look. John thought back to what Sherlock had said in the bathroom and suddenly it clicked.
“You’re dating Principal Lestrade!?” he blurted out.
“I wouldn’t say dating, more like meeting up at random times and shagging.” Sherlock answered for his brother, who was busy avoiding crashing into the car that cut him off. The rest of the car ride was silent. When they got to Sherlock’s house John remembered something.
“Harry! I can’t leave Harry and mum alone to deal with dad!” He yelled, mad at himself for forgetting.
“I’ll send some junkies to keep him from going home tonight alright? And they won’t hurt him, just keep him occupied with drugs and drinks.” Mycroft said, pulling out his phone to send out the order.
“Thanks.” John mumbled, getting out of the car with Sherlock. Mycroft stayed in the car and then drove off after they closed the doors. Neither of the boys were sad to see him go.
“Well are you hungry? I mean you didn’t really get the chance to eat lunch.” Sherlock stated as he opened the door and let them both in.
“Lost my appetite.”
“I’ll eat with you.” Sherlock offered. John thought for a moment, then agreed. They ate in silence, still processing what had happened at lunch.
“Sherlock?” John asked, his tone informing Sherlock that he wanted to tell him something, but was nervous about it. He hummed his permission for John to continue. “I need to tell you something. Yesterday after school I… I signed up for the army. And after we graduate in a couple months, I’ll be leaving.” Sherlock stopped eating, trying to keep his face still. John had mentioned joining the army before, but Sherlock never thought he would actually do it. “I’ll train to be an army doctor even. And maybe when I get back you’ll already have invented that detective job and I can join and we could solve crimes and save lives together just like we’ve always talked about. And we could even get that flat in central London! Well, unless you got a girlfriend while I’m away.”
“Girlfriend? Not really my area.” Sherlock said, trying to ignore all the talk about the army. Trying not to ask about if he got shot.
“Wait, no? I thought… Why didn’t you tell me? You know my sister’s gay, it’s all fine to me.” John said, trying to figure out how he didn’t realize that Sherlock was into guys.
“I wouldn’t classify myself as gay,” Sherlock responded, “I’ve only ever been interested in one person and he just happened to be male.” Sherlock mentally hit himself for that one. Would John realize that Sherlock meant him?
“What?” John asked, stupidly. ‘Sherlock fancies someone? This guy must be really special.’ “Who is it?”
“It doesn’t matter. He’s not interested.”
“Must be an idiot to not be interested in you.”
“He thinks so, but I disagree. Besides, he’s straight.” Sherlock said, the sadness coming into his voice. ‘Did you hear what he said about you? Must be an idiot… Did that mean? No. John’s straight. He’s always talking about girls and how he wants kids when he grows up.’
John felt bad for his friend, longing after someone who could never return the feeling. But he also felt a weird pang of jealousy at this guy who had captured Sherlock’s attention. ‘Why would I be jealous? Sherlock would still be my friend if he had a boyfriend. We’d still be this close.’ He thought. He tried to imagine Sherlock with another boy, laughing and flirting and kissing. He stopped imagining pretty quickly, because he really was not okay with that. “Who is he?” John asked again, this time softer. Sherlock went back to his food, ignoring the question and John’s mind began to wander again. This time he pictured Sherlock laughing with him, flirting with him, and kissing him. This time he stopped imagining because his pants were slowly getting tighter and tighter. ‘Shit. This isn’t good.’ He thought, trying to picture kissing that pretty girl in his math class, Mary, but it wasn’t having the same effect. In fact it was causing quite the opposite effect. “He might not be.” John said, trying to go back to his conversation and out of his head, “I mean I didn’t realize that you weren’t into girls so maybe it’s the same thing.”
“It’s not. He’s had a girlfriend and he’s always talking about girls. Even Anderson could figure it out.” Sherlock said, glumly. Why was John pushing this so hard? “Don’t ask who it is again, I’m not telling.”
“I always tell you who I fancy! Why can’t you just tell me?”
“Because it doesn’t matter for me, he’ll never like me back. Even if he did I wouldn’t know what to do. I’m not really cut out for relationships, if you didn’t notice. Anyway he’s leaving after we graduate and I might never see him again.” And again Sherlock silently berated himself for revealing too much. John was going to figure it out, he wasn’t an idiot. John had stopped moving, and was just staring at Sherlock open-mouthed. ‘He figured it out. He’s not going to want to spend any more time with me now. Oh what have I done?’ he thought, miserably.
‘It’s me. No it’s not. I just told him I’m leaving and he said that the bloke he fancies is leaving. Why would he fancy you? You’re boring. Do I want it to be me?’ John battled with himself inside his mind when Sherlock suddenly left to go use the restroom. John looked around the room and pictured sitting on the couch in the living room kissing Sherlock. Yes, John definitely did want to be the one that Sherlock fancied.
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Lost Without You