Elly May Becomes A Lady | By : Inishfree Category: 1 through F > The Beverly Hillbillies Views: 4702 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own The Beverly Hillbillies, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
A couple days go by and I get some mail, from a J. D. Clampett of Beverly Hills.
Inside the envelope is a check for $500,000 from the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills, an address and a telephone number. I call the bank and they say the check is good, so I deposit it to my account. Five days later the check clears and my mind begins to realize that the crazy stories are real. I’ve stumbled on the opportunity of a lifetime. I call the phone number and a voice says, “Jed Clampett speaking.” I identify myself and he says, “Oh howdy, Mr. Mike, we’ve been waitin’ for ya to call. Did ya get the check I sent ya?” I tell him that I did and that we can now work out the details. “Mr. Clampett,” I say, “this tutoring for Elly May will require that she stay with me for at least a month. It all depends on how quickly your daughter finishes her studies. Her tutoring could take as long as three months. I have plenty of room at my house and Elly May will have her own bedroom and bathroom.” Jed says, “That sounds mighty fine to me. When kin I bring her over?” I tell him, “Let’s make it two weeks from today. I can see, from the photo you showed me, that Elly May needs to learn to wear more lady-like clothes. Here is the address of a good clothing store near you. Please have Elly May go there to be measured for a fitting and I will instruct them about the clothes to make for her and where to ship them. You, of course, will have to pay the bill for the new clothes.” Jed agrees and we set the date and time for him to bring Elly May to my home. Two weeks later, right on time, my doorbell rings. I answer the door to see Jed Clampett standing there, still dressed in the same old shabby clothes. “Howdy, Mr. Mike, we’re here just like ya said,” Jed smiles. “Welcome,” I reply. “Please come in.” Jed walks in with an old suitcase and sets it down. “Elly May, get in here girl.” he says, “Don’t be standing outside gawking.” Through the door walks a beautiful young woman with long blonde curly hair. She also has long curly ponytails. She has a bubbly face with rosy cheeks and a full mouth with pink lips. She fits the information I received from the tailor. She’s a little thing, standing 5’-2” tall and weighs only 100 pounds. Her measurements are supposed to be 37-23-36 but it is very difficult to see anything but her trim waist; with the plain pattern dress that she is wearing. She stands there twisting one foot into the floor, with a sheepish grin on her face, and looking her eyes downward. “Stand up straight Elly May,” says Jed, “and say howdy to Mr. Mike.” She looks up with big blue doe eyes, “Well howdy, Mr. Mike, it’s a pleasure to meet ya’ll,” she sweetly says. “It is my pleasure to meet you, Miss Clampett. Please feel welcome in my home,” I tell her. Elly May beams back at me with a wide smile. Mr. Clampett speaks up as he turns towards the door, “Well, I best leave ya alone to do your job, Mr. Mike. Now, Elly May, I want ya to promise me to do everything that Mr. Mike tells ya to do and make me proud of ya, girl.” She answers, “I will Pa. I’ll make ya proud.”While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
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