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After the Quest
By : Ellixer
Category: S through Z > Xena
Views: 4860 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0Disclaimer: I do not own Xena, its characters or any affiliates. I make no money, this is stricly entertainment - Chapter List
We’ve been traveling and growing together, at least I thought so. Ulysses happens and I’m just a friend again. It hurts, and I don’t think she even notices. But I will stand by her, no matter what because I guess I just love her more than she does me. Heh, I think I know how Joxer feels now.
Is that what she wants? A man to fight by her side like all those in the past? Live and love hard. I’m pretty sure I don’t fit in that little storybook tale. I guess I was naive to think that she could really love me. Maybe she just feels sorry for all the things that have happened to me. Ahh pity love, nearly as bad as no love whatsoever. No wait, I think it may be worse. She’s standing at the rail looking out at the ocean. Her face more somber than usual, more sad. I would comfort her but I can’t bring myself to do it right now. So what is there for me to do? Nothing I suppose. Just go on as usual, go back to what we had before she died. I go down and lay in my hammock. The swaying not getting to me thanks to Xena’s remedy. But I don’t sleep, don’t even close my eyes. The men drift in one by one as night comes on, leaving only two men up top. I can hear Xena in a corner sharpening her blade. Now is a good time to sneak past them all and have the deck to myself. Sitting on a crate I look up at the night sky. It’s so dark, all the stars are shrouded by clouds. Closing my eyes I let the ocean breeze wash over me. I accept my destiny, whatever it may be. ‘Sea sick?’ Her voice startles me out of my thoughts. ‘No. Can’t sleep.’ I give her my best smile, but avoid her eyes as soon as possible. She sits down on the deck next to me. There’s nothing I can possibly say right now though I can feel her eyes on me, like she’s looking directly through me. ‘I couldn’t either.’ She’s quiet. I can feel this awkwardness growing between us, it’s making me fidgety. My fingers begin to tap a random beat against the wood. Am I supposed to say something here? She sighs. ‘Are you mad?’ ‘What do I have to be mad about?’ I laugh and shake my head. I think she can sense the fakeness. ‘Gabrielle don’t lie to me.’ ‘What do you want me to say?’ I stare down at my fingers, still tapping a beat. ‘Say what you feel.’ I refuse to look at her. ‘Didn’t work out so well last time.’ She sighs at me. ‘Xena I’m not mad. There’s nothing to be mad about.’ ‘About Ulysses…’ ‘It’s ok Xena.’ I put my hand on her arm. ‘I think I’ll go try and sleep.’ She grabs my arm before I can move. ‘Gabrielle just listen……please.’ ‘Ok Xena but there’s nothing wrong.’ I shake my head dismissively. ‘I told you I just want you happy.’ ‘I didn’t stay with him.’ ‘He had a wife.’ ‘It wasn’t just that.’ ‘Xena, don’t try and tell me there was nothing there, you’re only kidding yourself.’ Standing up I give her a smile. ‘I’m gonna go try sleep now.’ There’s some protest from her, but I don’t listen. We are friends, that’s all, nothing more. Life is complicated. It’s dirty, and gritty and full of torments that can haunt you forever. We said we loved each other, but it wasn’t really true. I’ve vowed to myself not to let anything change. We’re friends.- You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
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