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Collide, or, The Cooper-Ballard Convergence	By : FemmeBono Category: 1 through F > The Big Bang Theory Views: 4469 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Bang Theory, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Cht 2

I’m quiet you know

You make a first impression

Whitney had finished putting her gear in the room she had designated as her office; she had unpacked and shelved most of the smaller things, pouches and canteens, her helmet and winter boots, but left the cold weather gear and uniforms rolled in the bag. The movers should be coming the next day with the rest of her belongings, but she had the necessities and had already pulled the sleeping bag from her duffle for tonight. She was contemplating a shower, maybe leaching off someone’s internet for a little while and finding a place for take-out before turning in early, but her thoughts were quickly derailed when she heard a knock at the door.

She tracked noiselessly through the living room, checked the peep hole and sighed. It was Dr. Weird with a cohort—a short bespectacled man with a barely contained curly mane and a hoodie. With a wry smile, Whitney slid the chain off the door, unbolted it and swung it open to greet the two men.
“Well if it isn’t Mork and Mindy,” she said gesturing them inside with a sweep of her hand. “Welcome to my humble abode, gents. What can I do for you?”
“Whitney,” said Sheldon Cooper, eyeing her empty apartment disdainfully. “I’d like to introduce you to my roommate, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.”
“Hi,” said Curly offering a hand. “Just ‘Leonard’ is fine.”
Well, at least this one is socialized thought Whitney. “Nice to meet you,” she replied, shaking his hand. “I’d offer you guys a seat, but they’re not here yet.”
“Clearly,” Sheldon cut in. “Now, if you don’t mind, I also took the liberty of drawing up a contract that should prove mutually beneficial to both parties, namely you and I.”
“It stipulates the conditions under which we can amicably coexist,” he continued, offering a stapled document for her perusal. Whitney simply arched a brow in derision and looked up at Sheldon’s hopeful smile.
“Feel free to negotiate where you want,” Leonard put in. “Probably won’t work though,” he added, almost under his breath.
“Oh I’ll take a look at it, sure,” said Whitney smiling. “But I can tell you now, if there’s anything I don’t agree with, I’m not signing. I don’t sign anything I haven’t read though, so it may be a couple of days before I can get it back to you.”
“A couple of days?!” Sheldon interjected.
“That’s right,” Whitney nodded once as he sputtered to rebut what she had said. “Should I decide I need a lawyer to go over it, I’ll take it to the closest Adjutant General’s office and have someone there look it over. Being that I’m a military service member I have the right to NOT sign anything that would prove a detriment to my ability to serve in the proper capacity. In other words, you cannot put demands on me which would possibly keep me from being able to do my job at any given time.”
At this point Sheldon had noticeably started to twitch, first his eye, then his mouth. Agitated did not quite describe his reaction. Having a bit of a mean streak, Whitney decided to toy with him just a bit longer.
“In fact, since my contract with the government takes precedence over anything else, this is just about a moot point…”

Sheldon’s face spasmed again as he shifted his weight from one foot to another, a sign he felt quite literally wrong-footed. Apparently this lanky loon was all too used to getting his way. Oooh it’s going to be such fun having this guy around. But enough was enough.
“Tell you what: I’ll look it over tonight and if there’s anything I want to change or don’t agree with, I’ll cross it out and add some suggestions or something in the margins. You know, just so it really is mutually beneficial to all parties,” she added with a sarcastic smile.
Sheldon’s facial twitch smoothed into a glacial scowl, but he conceded. “Very well. If there’s no progress to be made tonight for our new partnership, we’ll wish you a good night.” With that, he started to turn and march out of the apartment, but Leonard raised a hand.
“Hold on a second,” he said slowly, “you said you were in the military?” His eyes scrunched up, and he tilted his chin as if contemplating this.
“Yeah,” Whitney replied. “I’ve been active duty the past six years, but I just got out. I’m in the Guard now, but I’ve got a contract job out here while I finish school.”
“Oh cool!” Leonard said, fidgeting with the zipper on his hoodie. “It’s just… we’re playing paintball tomorrow and could use someone on our team who can, you know, shoot.” He said it as more of a question and Whitney figured it was his backhanded way of inviting her to play.
She spared a glance at Sheldon, who was now looking at her as if she was some sort of prime specimen in a petri dish. Taking a deep breath and rubbing her hands on her jeans, Whitney took her first shot at making non-military friends.
“That sounds like fun,” she said.
“Great!” said Leonard, lighting up like he’d just won some quiz bowl or something. “We’ll be leaving at eight tomorrow if that’s not too early.”
Too early?? Civilians… Whitney shook her head in mute amusement, then said, “nah, I think I can handle that.”
“Do you have something appropriate to wear?” Sheldon chimed in, his fingers nervously working the hem of his Flash t-shirt. “I’m sure Leonard could loan you something if not.”
“Pssh!” said Whitney, dismissing the offer. “I’m sure I’ve got an old uniform that would be super appropriate for this.”
“Great!” said Leonard, looking like a Christmas had come two months early. “Can’t wait. Well, we’ll see you bright and early tomorrow! Good night.”

“Good night,” Sheldon piped up. Whitney held the door open as Leonard smiled at her on his way out and Sheldon offered a tentative smile and nod before exiting after Leonard.

Whitney locked up behind them, shaking her head. One point Whitney Ballard, she thought, zero for Sheldon Cooper. Chuckling, she pulled out her cell and did a quick search for Chinese restaurants in the area, thinking that the next day she would see how well the geeks could wage a paintball war. She grudgingly admitted that she was more than a little interested to see what the twitchy Dr. Cooper did to expend all that nervous fidgety energy. With a small sigh though, she pushed that thought to the back of her mind.

Lyrics from Howie Day's "Collide"
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Collide, or, The Cooper-Ballard Convergence