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Resistance really is futile	By : goofball Category: Star Trek > Voyager Views: 7729 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
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The door chime sounded and before Janeway had even lifted her head, Seven had entered the room. With a frown Janeway closed the book she was reading. Seven hadn’t stormed into her quarters like that in quite some time.
“Captain, I wish to speak with you.”
“I guessed as much,” Janeway said dryly. “Take a – “ she lifted a hand. “Just keep standing and forget I said anything.”
“Captain?” Seven cocked her head questioningly.
“Something is bothering you and I know you won’t sit down.”
“I’m not bothered, I just want to speak with you.”
“Then by all means speak,” Janeway said and leaned back in the chair, her eyes on the ramrod stature of Seven, who looked out the window, took in a breath before focusing on Janeway again.
“Since I have been to Unimatrix Zero my mind seems to be occupied with a lot of other things.”
With Axum, Janeway thought to herself and it took all her willpower to stay still in her chair. But there was nothing she could do about the ache in her chest and the slight feeling of nausea.
There was silence and Janeway realised that she had dropped her gaze to her hands. She looked up meeting Seven’s eyes. “Yes?”
“I… am thinking of personal relationships.”
Please don’t tell me you want to leave Voyager – and me – and search for Axum.
“I feel compelled to –“ Seven looked away and then back to Janeway. “I believe I want to experience that again.”
Janeway’s mouth went dry. “I understand,” she said, forcing a small smile.
“The Doctor encouraged me to do so,“ Seven said. “But not with him,” she added wryly.
This time the smile was real, as Janeway remembered the Doctor’s infatuation with the beautiful – if challenging – ex-drone. Then she concentrated on Seven again. “Why exactly are you here?”
Again Seven’s gaze flickered away for a moment, then her eyes fixed intensely on Janeway, who knew Seven well enough by now to know that this was to be the part that was really important. Everything else had just been a prelude.
“You told me about the bond between the two of us, back then when I overloaded my cortical implant. I wish to know what kind of bond you were talking about.”
Usually Janeway had a really good poker face, but she wasn’t sure if she’d managed to keep a straight face. She hadn’t seen that one coming. “What kind of bond we have?” She asked to buy herself some time.
“Yes, Captain.”
Damn! “Well, at first it was me being your mentor. Now it has grown into a friendship, at least I would consider you a friend.” That’s not what you really want, though, is it?
Seven’s eyes didn’t waver at all. “May I ask you something?”
Given that so far Janeway hadn’t refused her any questions, she couldn’t start now, could she? That would make an already strange moment even more odd. “Go ahead,” she said warily.
“You consider Lieutenant Commander Tuvok to be your friend, am I correct?”
Janeway nodded nonplussed. What had Tuvok to do with this?
“Yet even though you consider him to be your friend, your pulse does not increase when you see him. Your pupils don’t dilate.”
Oh no, please don’t! Under Seven’s scrutiny Janeway felt like a deer in the headlights. How could she have forgotten that Seven could read those symptoms as easily as Janeway could read a book? Stupid, I’ve been so stupid!
“In my research about human mating behaviour I found those symptoms to indicate a sexual interest. Is that accurate?”
There was no way Janeway could keep sitting. In one swift movement she was out of the chair and went across the room to stand in front of the bulkhead. With her back to Seven, Janeway gave her the answer she already knew. “Yes.” Janeway crossed her arms before her and stared out to the stars that were streaking by.
“There is only one person aboard this vessel, where I notice that my pulse increases to approximately 2.3 its normal frequency and my temperature rises about 1.4 degrees.”
It took Janeway a moment to realise that Seven wasn’t talking about her, Janeway, that in fact she was talking about herself. Slowly Janeway turned around and was surprised to find that Seven had moved towards her. Janeway’s heart jumped and a surge of heat shot through her. This time, however, she was very aware that Seven would register everything, especially since she was only a couple of feet away. Even more warmth spread throughout her body.
“Seven, please…” Janeway’s words were a mere whisper.
“I have considered using a hologram,” Seven said, her eyes roaming over Janeway, causing Janeway to almost moan and she pressed her lips together tightly.
“But even though I gave the computer very precise parameter, among other things it failed to capture the shades of irises I seek,” Seven said, and then added: “I find the program to be lacking. If my duties allow it I’ll rectify that.”
Janeway felt torn between wanting to bolt from the room and bursting out laughing about Seven’s dissatisfaction with the performance of the computer.
“But since I’ve heard and witnessed the effect of getting involved with a hologram, I stopped my efforts.”
“Very wise,” Janeway muttered. “Been there, done that.”
“Michael Sullivan?”
For once it was embarrassment that caused Janeway’s cheeks to heat. She nodded.
“Was he not adequate?”
Janeway smiled crookedly. “For a little while.”
“Why not anymore?”
“Seven, don’t.” Janeway shook her head slightly.
Seven took a small step closer and Janeway swallowed.
“Please, Captain,” she said quietly but intensely.
Janeway should tell her that it was a private subject; she should tell Seven that it was none of her business. And Janeway most definitely should ask her to leave. Yet, as she stared into Seven’s eyes, she didn’t say any of the things she should tell her. “He was a distraction.”
Cocking her head, Seven said: “It’s not like you to avoid my questions, Captain.”
“No, no it’s not,” Janeway allowed. “But actually I don’t want to talk about it.” Why was there never a red alert when you really needed one? She cleared her throat. “Maybe its better if you-“
“You won’t admit your feelings for me and you don’t want to know that I’m sexually attracted to you,” Seven stated. “Why?”
Gasping for air, Janeway felt her knees go weak. A part of her – the private part – was overjoyed to hear the words, to know that Seven wanted her. It was something Janeway had never dared to hope for or even dream about – not too much anyway. At the same time she felt a bone deep sorrow inside of her, because it would never come to anything between the two of them.
So it was a very sad smile that Janeway gave Seven. “Because before it was only me who was interested in someone I couldn’t have,” she answered quietly.
Seven reached out and caught a tear that Janeway hadn’t even noticed. This tender gesture made her heart ache even more.
“Now…” Janeway swallowed around the lump in her throat. “Now we both yearn for something we can’t have.”
Seven lifted her eyes from the tear drop to look at Janeway. “Explain.”
“I am the captain of this ship,” she said, pulling her shoulders back. “I have a responsibility and Starfleet-Protocol-“
“Starfleet-Protocol does not accept certain couplings among a crew,” Seven interrupted Janeway with a haughty expression. “However, I am not Starfleet. It would be more accurate to describe me as a private contractor. There is nothing to be found in the protocol that speaks against a relationship between a member of a crew and a private contractor. In my research I found a lot of references to where crew members had their spouses on board their vessel.” The implant above Seven’s eye rose. “Even captains.”
Janeway’s mind started spinning with sudden possibilities and she blinked. “Alright,” she said. “But there’s also the fact that you’ve only been severed from the Borg for a very short time and-“
“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Seven interjected – again. “But I’ve experienced a vast range of human behaviour since I came here. As you keep saying, this is only a small vessel. And there is the knowledge I gained in the time I was with the Borg.”
“Which is only intellectually. There is so much more to experience!”
“Irrelevant. I’ll still experience life as a human, in all probability even more so.”
“What about Axum?”
“Axum reminded me of what I once had, not of what I could have with him in the future.” Seven cocked her head. “Are you finished arguing?”
“I’m much too old for you,” Janeway blurted. “You should be with someone closer to your age.”
“I want to be with you.”
There it was, plain and simple.
“Seven,” Janeway said, her voice almost breaking as she reached out to softly squeeze Seven’s arm. “My dear Seven. I wish… I wish we were in other circumstances. But until I have this crew back in the Alpha Quadrant, there’s only one priority for me.” She blinked to keep the tears at bay. And unfortunately it’s not you. Janeway pulled her hand back.
“Captain, I am very well aware that the ship and this crew will always come first. You don’t have to explain that. I have witnessed it since I came aboard.” Seven said, her expression growing fierce, her eyes flashing. “What I fail to comprehend, however, is you not allowing yourself to be a human being with needs and wants, not even when there isn’t an emergency.”
Janeway opened her mouth to argue, then closed it again. Not that she would have gotten a word in, because Seven continued.
“And as full of regulations and rules the Starfleet-Protocol might be, I don’t believe that Starfleet would deny their captains to be human. Especially in a case like yours, where it could very well take decades to get back to the Federation.”
Janeway starred at Seven for a long moment. Then she finally and very quietly admitted the truth: “I’m scared.”
“Please explain,” Seven said, her face softening.
“I’m afraid that I would treat you differently.”
Seven’s crested implant shot up. “Is that not the reason why people engage in private relationships? I believed a sex partner to be treated quite differently than your average acquaintance.”
Janeway couldn’t help it, she laughed out loud. “Yes, yes of course. But I was actually talking about when we are on duty and what I would do if there was a potential dangerous situation, where my mind knew exactly that it would be best to send you. I’m scared that my feelings for you would cloud my judgement.”
“They won’t,” Seven stated simply, lifting her chin.
“You sound very sure of that.”
“I am very sure of that,” she confirmed. “Have they influenced you in the past?”
“That’s different,” Janeway countered and crossed her arms.
Once again the implant rose. “Your logic is flawed, Captain,” Seven said. “Your feelings for me did not suddenly develop overnight.”
Janeway gave her a dark look.
“Am I wrong?”
“Since you seem to be the expert here, why don’t you tell me?”
For a split second Seven’s eyes narrowed as if she was – calculating?
“Stop!” Janeway held up both hands. “Don’t even go there.” Due to her Borg-enhanced memory Seven could probably tell down to the nanosecond when she first noticed the symptoms. Thank you, but no thank you.
“You don’t want to know?”
Janeway shook her head.
“Very well, then I’ll rest my case,” Seven said. “You’ve so far shown no tendencies to favour me.”
“But if I let you any closer I might love you even more,” Janeway said softly. “Then what?”
The brilliant smile on Seven’s face took her breath away. Oh my gods! Janeway thought as she starred at her. Had Seven been stunning before, now she was mesmerizing. Janeway had never seen this side of her. She’d seen her frustrated, determined, fierce, arrogant and dry witted. But this open and happily beaming Seven was a first.
“You should see yourself,” Janeway whispered.
Seven cocked her head, her smile only fading a little. “Why?”
“Because I’ve never seen you look just – happy. It’s really lovely.”
“Considering the nature of our discussion, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that it makes me happy to hear your declaration of love.”
“I guess not,” Janeway replied with a smile. Then she looked at the ex-drone questioningly. “Bearing in mind your former attitude towards friendship, it’s quite fascinating that even deeper emotions like love seem to come rather easily.”
“As you said, former attitude. I have been reconsidering the concept of relationships since then,” Seven replied. “Even though there are actions done in the name of love that I will never understand,” she added as in an after-thought, then: “To me this development is actually logical.”
“Of course it is.”
“Just as logical as being very well-prepared before approaching you.”
“You…what?“ Janeway blinked in surprise. “Elaborate.” Sometimes Borg-phrasings weren’t only very efficient, they were also much easier on a muddled brain.
Seven straightened up again. “I surmised my previous experience with you and considering that you hold the Starfleet-Protocol in high regard, I researched it accordingly,” she explained. “There is no precedence for a case where a ship got lost for several years, however. This is why I reviewed your treatment of the crew in the past.”
“Alright”, Janeway said, taken aback. “Go on.”
“While you expect a lot of your crew, you always make sure that they also get time to regenerate – or recuperate if you prefer,” Seven said with a small smile. “This is especially true after a crisis,” she continued. “By now there’s more than just one couple on board the ship.” Seven lifted her eyebrow, moving the implant atop of it. “You make sure that everyone has time to be something or rather someone else in addition to only being a part of a vast engine. The only one that is not permitted to be human is you.”
“Who would understand that I have a duty to fulfil?” Who except a hologram that I could turn off if need be?
“I would understand that if we were on duty or if there would be an emergency that you would be the captain first.”
“Would you still understand that after the umpteen time we’ve been interrupted?”
Seven cocked her head. “Are you referring to being interrupted while having intercourse?”
“No!” Janeway gaped at her. “Yes, I mean… damn. Not just that,” she sputtered.
“I am very certain that having intercourse with you is even more enjoyable than the fragments I remember from Unimatrix Zero. Therefore I believe we would want to have a lot of intercourse. It is highly unlikely that there would always be some kind of emergency.”
The sound that escaped Janeway was a mixture of a groan and a laugh. With closed eyes she rubbed her neck for a moment, hoping to gather her senses. “You won’t let me off the hook, will you?” She looked up at Seven.
“The only thing that will get you off the hook is for you to tell me that you do not want me.”
“And that ain’t gonna happen because I don’t lie.” Janeway said and sighed.
“Which is precisely why I chose it to be the only reason why I would stop my efforts.” The crested implant lifted slightly.
“Gee whiz, Seven, you really prepared yourself for this battle,” Janeway commented dryly before she got serious again. “There’s one more thing that you should take into consideration.”
Seven looked at her questioningly.
“When people get closer, they get to learn more about each other,” Janeway explained. “As a private person I won’t always be strong and reasonable, I’ll feel sad, grumpy, frustrated and full of doubt.”
The expression in Seven’s face didn’t change as if she was still waiting.
“I’m not perfect.”
“You can’t be perfect, you are human,” Seven stated, the corner of her mouth twitching.
Janeway gave her a mock glare. “I’m serious, Seven.”
“So am I, but let me rephrase that: you are perfectly human.”
“You have no idea,” Janeway replied under her breath, then said in a more normal tone: “Do you really want to try this?”
“Yes.” Again, plain and simple.
Were there reasons why I shouldn’t do this? Plenty. Was I scared? Terrified was more like it. Did I want to give this a shot anyway? Hell, yes!
“Okay-“ Janeway started but then Seven’s Com-Badge chirped and she stared at the offending gadget. She’d been asking for a red alert ten minutes ago. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Now they interrupt?!”
Seven gave her a quizzical look but then B’Elanna’s voice came through the com.
“Torres to Seven of Nine.”
“Go ahead, Lieutenant.”
“I’ve been playing with an idea to increase the engine’s power. I could use your help if you’re not busy.”
“How much increase?” Seven asked.
“Hmm, about 0.5 maybe 0.6 percent.”
“I’ll be with you shortly. Seven out.”
Janeway’s mouth dropped open. “Are you serious? You’re leaving now for increasing the power for 0.5 percent?”
“You are not the only one with an objective, Captain,” Seven said. “Your priority is to get back to the Alpha Quadrant and I will help you in any way I can to get you there.”
Janeway shook her head slightly a smile starting to spread across her face. Maybe there really was someone who would understand. “Alright.”
Seven inclined her head. “Good night, Captain.” She turned around and started towards the door.
“Considering our discussion, you might want to start calling me Kathryn in private.”
Stopping and turning halfway back, Seven looked at Janeway. “If you insist I will comply,” she replied. “But to me you will always be my Captain.”
The way she said ‘my Captain’ made it feel like a caress and Janeway swayed softly on her feet.
Seven faced her. “Might I inquire to your plans for dinner tomorrow?”
Before Janeway knew it, she stood in front of Seven and smiled broadly at her. “Are you… are you asking me out on a date?”, she wanted to know, feeling almost giddy with excitement.
Seven straightened up. “According to my research-“
Janeway put a finger on Seven’s mouth and for a moment she was distracted by the feel of the soft lips underneath her finger. Slowly she lifted her gaze and looked back into Seven’s eyes. “Are you asking me out on a date?”
Seven gave a curt nod.
Janeway smiled and cradled Seven’s face tenderly. “Dinner would be lovely,” she said, before she embraced Seven.
There was a slight hesitation, then Seven put her arms around Janeway and pulled her flush against her.
Full on body contact. It felt so – perfect.
Janeway felt Seven’s rib cage expand and then heard her soft exhale, her arms tightening as she lowered her head beside Janeway’s. Leaning her cheek against Seven’s head, Janeway’s hand started to move on its own volition to the nape of Seven’s neck and her fingers began to stroke the warm and soft skin there.
A shiver went through Seven and she lifted her head. Impossible blue eyes bore into Janeway’s.
“I need to go,” she said quietly.
“I know,” Janeway said with a soft smile. “You have an objective.”
“Yes,” Seven replied. “That, however, is not the reason why I need to go.”
“What is it then?”
Seven reached up, untangled Janeway’s arms from around her neck and stepped back. “Because otherwise I might revert back to when I believed that this pretence about getting to know each other is a waste of time, when you want to have intercourse with the person you desire,” Seven said, still grasping Janeway’s fingers.
Apparently, Janeway’s nervous system knew right away what Seven meant, because a surge of passion shot through her while her mind was still processing the words.
Janeway tightened her grip on Seven to steady herself. Closing her eyes, she tried to get at least a semblance of control over herself. Then she remembered the feel of the skin underneath her fingertips. Janeway’s mouth went dry and she moistened her lips – which reminded her of Seven’s. She opened her eyes focusing right onto those full lips.
“I believe kissing you would be an unwise decision.”
Janeway nodded without lifting her eyes. “Yes, it would be. I might want to agree about wasting time and such.”
As Janeway looked up into Seven’s eyes, her pupils were wide open, leaving only small slivered blue circles around them.
“I really need to go now.” Seven’s tone was low.
“I know.” Squeezing her fingers lightly, Janeway stepped back until their fingers parted, sliding against each other. “And as much as I want you – and I really do – I need you to go, for both our sakes.”
Seven inclined her head. “Once again, good night, Captain.” Another caress with her voice.
Janeway smiled. “Good night, Seven.”
This time nothing stopped Seven on the way out and soon Janeway was alone. Alone with her befuddled mind, her whirling emotions and her raging hormones.
In a daze she moved towards a chair and let herself fall into it. What had just happened? For months Janeway had reminded herself about the many reasons why she couldn’t and shouldn’t get involved with Seven. After arguing for hours with herself she had finally accepted that it wouldn’t, that it couldn’t ever happen.
Had Seven really just barged in here and – Janeway’s gaze flickered to the time piece on the mantle and she snorted softly – in less than an hour had her convinced otherwise? Very efficient, Seven, she thought dryly.
All of a sudden she felt exhausted and despite the fact that her mind would most certainly keep her awake for hours, she decided to go to bed.
To her surprise, Janeway was asleep in minutes, getting the best rest she’d had in quite some time.
tbc
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Resistance really is futile