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Broken	By : MidnightBard Category: G through L > Lois & Clark Views: 2191 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
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A week later, Lois and Clark drove in companionable silence through the wooded area outside the city limits of Metropolis. The radio was set to a classic rock station, though the volume was set on the low side. Apparently it was Queen hour on the station, as they were currently in their seventh song in a row. Clark didn't mind. He'd always liked their music.
                "You're sure you want to do this?" Lois asked from the driver's seat.
                "You know I have to."
                "I know, but still...after everything..."
                "I need to finally close this chapter of my life. You understand, don't you?"
                After a moment, she nodded. "Yeah, I guess I do. Until I confronted my parents about my feelings on their divorce, I couldn't move on past my anger."
                Clark nodded as well. "Exactly. I have to do this so I can finally put everything behind me."
                "Well, I'm with you, as much as you want me to be."
                "Thanks."
                The wooded area ended, leaving them in a sea of wide, open land, with only a few scrub brushes here and there to break up the landscape. In the distance, the Glenfield Springs prison loomed imposingly against a steel gray sky. Clark wondered if they would be stuck in the impending storm when they returned to Metropolis.
                "You want me to wait in the car?" Lois asked as they grew closer to the main gate.
                Clark thought for a moment. "No," he finally said. "I'd rather you come in with me."
                "Are you sure? I'll be fine waiting. Don't worry about me."
                "I know you will," he said, giving her a half-smile. "But, that's not why I don't want you to wait for me. I'd like for you to come with me, if you're willing, that is."
                "You know I'll be with you, every step of the way, if you want me to be."
                "I do. I want you there with me. As much as I need to close this chapter on my own, it's something that affects the both of us, not just me. What happens to one of us, happens to both of us."
                "Okay then. We confront Alex together."
                "Thank you, Lois."
                The Jeep rolled to a stop at the prison gate. They identified themselves to the guards manning the entrance. After a moment, they were allowed through the series of checkpoints and found the small visitor parking lot. They had to walk the rest of the way. Perry's son, Jerry, was the one to meet them when they reached the door that led into the prison.
                "Hey! Lois, Clark!" he said cheerfully, greeting them with warm hugs. "It's been too long."
                "It has," Lois agreed. "How are you, Jerry?"
                "Can't complain," he said with a smile, as he led them to the area where they would check their personal items and walk through the metal detectors. "I have to ask you for your personal items."
                He handed them blue plastic containers in which they were to put their things. Clark took off his watch first and placed it inside. Then he extracted his wallet and spare change and added it to the container. Lois stripped off her watch and placed it in her bin, along with her purse. She walked through the metal detector first, when Jerry waved her through. Clark was next. The machine lit up with green lights, indicating that he was hiding nothing.
                "So, you're here to see Harwood, huh?" Jerry said, making small talk.
                Clark nodded. "I've got a few things I need to get off my chest."
                Jerry laughed. "I can only imagine. Still, you're the first to ask to see him."
                "Really?" Clark asked, surprised. "No one's tried to get an interview?"
                "Oh, that." Jerry waved his hand vaguely. "Sure, but he's not entertaining interview requests, so we turn down the media as soon as they call."
                "What about his parents?" Clark asked, as Jerry led them into the prison complex.
                Jerry shook his head. "Nope."
                "Huh," Clark said thoughtfully, running his hand through his ebony locks. "I'm not sure that I'm surprised."
                "That bad, huh?" Jerry asked.
                "You have no idea," Clark replied, shaking his head. "I'd hoped their indifference toward their child had ended with the trial, but I guess I was wrong."
                "Ouch," Jerry replied, unlocking a thick steel door so they could pass into another part of the prison.
                "Brutal people," Lois commented, taking Clark's arm in a supportive way.
                Jerry simply shook his head. "Right this way," he said, leading them deeper into the bowels of the prison.
                Lois and Clark followed along. Clark could see increases in the amount of security features as they moved further in. Clearly, they were in an area that housed some of the more dangerous inmates. Jerry brought them to a medium sized room. The Spartan furnishings consisted of metal tables and chairs that were all bolted to the concrete floor. Clark noticed the tables all had metal bars on them, to which, he supposed, the inmate's hands would be cuffed.
                "Have a seat," Jerry said, gesturing at the empty tables and chairs. "I'll radio for someone to bring Alex down."
                Lois and Clark took a seat near the far wall. Clark knew the guards would remain in the room, likely by the door, as they spoke with Alex. Moving across the room would give them some buffer space so they could talk in private. Jerry watched them silently, then unclipped the walkie-talkie from his belt.
                "Hey, Kyle? Could you bring Alex Harwood down to the conference room?"
                Clark wouldn't have called the sterile looking space a conference room, but he supposed the guards all had their own nicknames for the various places within the prison. He could hear the burst of static before the reply came through.
                Minutes later, Alex was brought into the room, heavily shackled and escorted by two burly guards. Clark wondered if the man was already known to be a trouble maker, or if it was merely protocol for the inmates living on death row. Alex rolled his eyes as he took a seat across from Clark, and as the guards secured his hands to the bar on the table. He said nothing until the guards backed away to join Jerry in a watchful guard across the room. Alex watched as the men retreated before turning his angry gaze on Clark.
                "You have a hell of a nerve coming here," he growled.
                "I didn't come here to fight, Alex," Clark said calmly. He'd anticipated the man's hostility.
                "You shouldn't have come at all. You're the reason why I'm in this shithole."
                "Seems to be a trend," Lois muttered under her breath, "with the Harwoods wanting to place blame everywhere except where it belongs."
                "And just who the hell are you?" Alex demanded to know, sneering.
                "Lois Lane," she said, crossing her arms and settling back into the metal chair with a smugly trimuphant look. "I'm..."
                "That reporter bitch," Alex finished for her, spitting the words out. "I thought I said no interviews."
                "She's not here as a reporter," Clark said, trying not to let his defensiveness show, knowing it would only fuel Alex further. "She's here as my fiancée."
                "Fiancée?" Alex repeated, as though in disbelief. "You're kidding, right?"
                "No, he's not," Lois said firmly. "Why?"
                Alex shrugged. "Never struck me as the type."
                "Type?" Lois repeated. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked in a mildly challenging tone.
                "You know. He's more of the weird loner."
                "Shows just how much you really know about him," Lois shot back.
                "So, if you two morons aren't here to interview me, why the hell are you here?" Alex asked, dropping the subject of Clark's personality.
                "To talk," Clark said simply, as if it encompassed everything.
                In truth, he was finding it awkward to be sitting face to face, having what passed for a conversation, with his abuser. It had been far easier to deal with the man while Clark had been hiding behind the mask of Superman. He wondered if coming to the prison had been a wise move to begin with.
                "Maybe I don't want to talk," Alex ground out between gritted teeth.
                "Well that's too bad," Clark said. "Because I do want to talk."
                "Then do it and get out of my face. I have a busy life upstairs in solitary."
                Clark took a deep, cleansing breath. "I guess the first question is...why?"
                "Why what?"
                "Why did you...do what you did, to all those poor kids?"
                "Because I felt like it, that's why."
                "You really expect me to believe that?" Clark asked.
                "Yeah, I do," came the sarcastic reply.
                "Alex, look," Clark said, remaining as calm as possible, "you know I'll never just believe that. So why don't you just tell me the truth?"
                "I already did. I felt like it and they deserved it. No one gets away with pissing me off, not without paying the price."
                He really is mentally sick, Clark thought to himself. Not insane, but there is definitely something wrong with him. Maybe it's not just a perversion after all - something that he's chosen. Or maybe it is and he really has just enjoyed causing pain and suffering to innocent people.
                "And me?" he asked instead. "What did I do?"
                "You?"
                "That's right," Clark said, nodding. "Me. What was it about me that made you do the things you did?"
                Alex laughed grimly. "You were available, that's all. I needed someone to...experiment on, and you were right there, invading my house."
                "That's all?" Clark asked, unable to hide the surprise in his voice. He'd thought there was more to it than that. "It was a matter of proximity?"
                Alex nodded. "Pretty much. Besides, you were a loner and a loser. I knew you'd be easy to keep under control. And I was right. You didn't dare say a word to anyone. Not that anyone would have believed the poor little damaged orphan boy from Buttcrack, USA." He laughed again, clearly pleased with himself.
                "I see," was all Clark could say as he processed the man's sick logic.
                "I guess I was surprised to find that you finally grew a pair of balls," Alex mused, almost to himself. "Never thought I'd see you testify."
                "It was the right thing - the only thing - to do," Clark said, shrugging.
                "I should have killed you back then," Alex casually commented. "I thought about it, you know."
                "So why didn't you try?" Clark asked, curious, though he was glad Alex had never attempted to do so. If he had, his secret would have been completely exposed.
                "I was going to, as soon as I was done with you. I was going to slit your throat one night after I was done fucking your pathetic ass."
                "But you couldn't, because Clark left," Lois said matter-of-factly.
                Alex nodded. "Pretty much. I could have kicked myself for not tying up that loose end. Guess I never believed you'd have the balls to do anything about what was going on," he said, looking at Clark. "Especially not that you'd run away. But, after a while, it made sense to me. You always were a coward. Of course you'd run away from your problems."
                "Coward? Really?" Lois asked, cocking an eyebrow. "And what do you call a man who murders innocent children to cover his trail of perversion?"
                Alex's eyes slid over to her only for the duration of her question, then he brought his gaze back to Clark. "You always let your bitch do the talking for you?"
                Clark took Lois' hand as it lay resting on the table. He wanted Alex to see.
                "Lois is the best part of me," he said, giving her a smile. "She doesn't speak for me, no more than I speak for her. She's my equal, my partner, in everything. It's a shame you'll never know what it's like to have someone like that, Alex."
                "Now you're insulting me?" the man asked defensively.
                Clark shook his head. "Believe it or not, no, I'm not. I'm actually serious."
                Alex didn't look convinced. "Like I always thought. You're a freak."
                "Why's that?" Clark asked, leaning forward a little, getting more comfortable in the unforgiving metal seat. "Because I'm capable of having pity for another human being?"
                "Because you shouldn't give a rat's ass about me," Alex said, nearly spitting the words. "Because you should probably be glad that I'm going to get pumped full of drugs at some point until my heart stops beating and I become worm fodder. Because you're here speaking to me at all, when my own fucking parents haven't come."
                Alex's tone was almost neutral, but Clark could nonetheless pick up the hints of anger and even a little fear in the other man's voice.
                "No wonder you and that freak in the blue tights are friends," Alex continued. "You're both emotional losers."
                "It's not such a bad thing, to have feelings, you know," Lois said quietly. She squeezed Clark's hand. "Whether you're a regular man, like Clark, or a superhero, like Superman."
                "Emotions make you weak," Alex argued. "They set you up for disappointment and hurt from others."
                "Like your parents," Clark said quietly, understanding.
                "Do you have any idea, what it was like? Growing up in a house with parents who didn't give two shits about what you were doing?"
                "I got a taste of it, yeah," Clark said. "For the brief time I lived in your parents' house."
                "And before that?" Alex demanded to know.
                Clark shook his head. "No. My parents and I were very close."
                "So you don't know what it's like," Alex said defiantly.
                "So...what then?" Clark asked. "Are you saying that everything you did was...born out of some sick need to retaliate against your parents' neglect?"
                "No. I'm saying that aside from having you there at my fingertips and knowing I could control you, it was nice to know I could shatter the life of someone who's existence had been damn near perfect up until then."
                "How little you really knew me," Clark said, shaking his head again. "By perfect life, do you mean losing both of my parents within five years of each other? Or maybe the part where I was torn away from my home and friends and forced to live in a strange new place?"
                "You were lucky. I used to wish my parents would die. At least they would have had a reason for ignoring me then."
                He really is twisted, Clark thought to himself. I just never realized the full extent of it until now.
                "Wow, that sounds totally normal," Lois taunted him.
                "Just tell me the truth. Is there any part of you that regrets what you've done?" Clark asked before Alex could send a retort at Lois.
                Alex thought only for a second. "Sure."
                "And?" Clark prompted.
                "I'm sorry I got caught," Alex said with icy sincerity. "And I'm sorry I gave you the time of day just now. Guards! I'm ready to go back to my cell!"
                The guards looked over at the table, appraising the situation. Clark nodded. What else could he possibly say to his abuser? He'd gotten what answers he could. And he felt like he'd gotten as much closure as it was likely possible for him to get.
                "Just remember, Kent," Alex said as the guards began making their way over. "When I die, my blood's on your hands. Yours, Superman's, and everyone who testified. You be sure to tell that pompous Boy Scout friend of yours that I said so."
                "No," Clark said, feeling oddly calm. "It's not. The others and I spoke the truth. Your actions condemned you. Your lack of, or maybe inability, to feel any remorse for your crimes sealed your fate. My hands - all our hands - are clean."
                The guards reached Alex's side.
                "All finished here?" they asked Clark, not bothering to take Alex's word for it that the conversation was over.
                "Yes, thank you," he replied. He looked Alex straight and unflinchingly in the eyes as the guards unshackled him from the bar on the table. "Goodbye, Alex."
                "I should have killed you when I had the chance," Alex said to Clark, perhaps trying to drive home how furious he was with the situation, or maybe it was because he had nothing else to say. It seemed like he wanted the final word in their brief conversation, at any rate.
                "Take a note of that," Lois said to the guards while she coldly eyed Alex. "Just in case he ever tries for an appeal of his sentence."
                "This is all your fault!" Alex screamed as the guards began to lead him away. "My blood is on your hands! You did this to me!"
                "He's losing it already, isn't he?" Lois commented to Clark.
                "Not many people are cut out for prison life," Clark said, shrugging. "Even less are cut out for life on death row. It's not unheard of for people to snap."
                "Not that he was all that sane to begin with," Lois said in a low voice.
                "Actually, I think he's perfectly sane. Disturbingly so, in fact. He's just a sick, twisted man."
                "You guys all right?" Jerry asked as he made his way over, after checking to ensure his fellow guards didn't need a hand in getting Alex back to his cell.
                "We're fine. It takes more than a threat and some curses to scare us," Lois said with a grin.
                That much was true. Both together and separately, they had each faced a lot worse in their lifetime. Alex's outburst rolled off them like droplets of rain water.
                "Yeah, I guess that's true," Jerry said with a light laugh, knowing well enough the risks involved in being a reporter. Perry had told his son of the various situations he'd been in as a young news cub himself, back in the day. "Still, I'm sorry about his outburst. We try hard to break our inmates of bad habits like that, but, well, we're not always successful. And he's still pretty new to the facility."
                "Not your fault at all," Clark assured him, patting the man on his shoulder. "That's just who Alex is. Who he's always been."
                "Maybe," Jerry said with a sigh, looking off in the direction the other two had taken Alex.
                "Trust me," Clark said. "I know what I'm talking about."
                Jerry nodded. "Let's get you back to the front. I'm sure you two want to start heading back before the storm breaks."
                Lois nodded. "That would be great."
                Jerry took the lead again as they wound their way back through the prison. Here and there he had to stop and unlock doors to allow them access from one part of the complex to another. He chatted lightly with them about happier subjects as they walked. At last, they came to the front entrance. He retrieved the blue plastic containers with their personal effects in them.
                "Good to see you guys, even if the circumstances weren't the best," Jerry said to them as they gathered their things.
                "Yeah, you too. We should do dinner sometime when you're in the city," Lois said, smiling. She gave the man a quick hug.
                "I'd like that," he replied.
                Clark shook the man's hand. "Thanks for sticking with us today."
                "No problem."
                "See you around," Clark said.
                "See you."
                Together, Lois and Clark left the prison. Outside, the sky was nearly black with the impending storm. The clouds hung so heavily and so low in the sky, it felt to Clark like he could reach up and brush his fingertips along their sodden underbellies while keeping his feet firmly planted on the ground. The air smelled of humidity and the wind had kicked up considerably. It was icy cold and must have stung Lois like daggers. She hurried ahead of him to the car.
                Inside the Jeep, she turned the heat all the way up, letting the engine idle as the vehicle warmed. When she felt warmer, she turned the heat back down to a manageable level, then put the car into gear. She followed the road back they way they'd come in, and waved at the same guard who'd opened the gate for them earlier. Now the man opened the gate to allow them to leave, after peering into the windows to ensure it was just the two of them inside. He waved them through.
                Twenty minutes later, the storm finally broke. Rain splattered on the roadway and flecked the windshield. The rhythmic whooshing of the wiper blades filled the thoughtful silence.
                "Thank you, for coming with me," Clark finally said, his eyes maintaining a watchful vigil on the road ahead.
                "I'm glad I did. I think, as much as you needed to sit with Alex and get things off your chest, I needed it too. I guess I needed to see the real man, to try and understand him, and why or how he could hurt you."
                "Did you?" Clark asked.
                "Come to understand him? Not really. Not the way I'd hoped to. But I guess I still got some of my questions answered. I still don't get how anyone can do what Alex did - to you and to those other kids - and not feel like it was wrong. I don't understand how he can sit there and justify it."
                Clark sighed. "I know."
                Lois fell silent for a moment before she spoke again. "And you?"
                "Me?"
                She nodded. "Did you get the closure you wanted?" she asked in a soft, cautious tone.
                Clark thought for a second, sighing as he did so. "Yes and no. I'd hoped, like you did, to see that there was a man behind the monster. That there was some lingering shred of humanity within him. I didn't really see any of that. He really has no remorse for what he's done. It wasn't just some tough-guy act he put on in the courtroom. In fact, the only time he seemed human was when he talked about his parents. There was just so much anger there."
                "I noticed that too," she said quietly.
                "On the other hand," he continued, "I said what I needed to say. Asked what I needed to ask. I don't feel the need to pursue it any further, or wonder why he chose to rape me. So, I guess, in a way, I do have the closure I came for."
                "I'm sorry, Clark."
                "About what?"
                Lois gestured vaguely as she navigated through the worsening rain. "For the answers you received. It couldn't have been easy to hear what he had to say. It wasn't easy for me, and I'm not the one he abused."
                Clark took a deep breath and sighed it out. "It wasn't, but, somehow I'm not sure I anticipated a different response. At least I know now. For so long, I've wondered why. Why did he choose to do those things to me? Did I do something wrong? Did I somehow attract his attention, without knowing it? Could I have done something differently? I mean, I know I could have fought back, could have reported him. But could I have done something differently, so that he didn't touch me to begin with? Now I know the answer. I simply wound up in the wrong foster home. No matter what I could have done, Alex still would have targeted me. In a weird way, it's almost a relief to know that. I can finally stop running different scenarios through my mind about it, wondering what might have changed, if only I had done this or hadn't done that."
                "At least he doesn't suspect your secret," Lois commented after a moment.
                "Either one of them," Clark agreed.
                For years, he'd wondered just how much Alex suspected about him. After all, the other man had caught him holding his breath, under water, for longer than a normal human being should have been able to. How much had Alex thought about it? Had he ever connected that odd ability to the ones Superman had, when the alien hero had made his debut? Had he forgotten the incident? Or, had he never realized just how different Clark really was?
                Now it seemed that Alex had not connected the dots between Clark and Superman. There was no doubt in Clark's mind that if Alex had made even the most tenuous of connections, he would have been very vocal about it. That was a huge relief to Clark.
                Lois stifled a laugh. "I think it's safe to say you only have one secret left, Superman."
                Clark smiled. "Well..." he said, shrugging.
                "No, not 'well.' You conquered your other secret. It doesn't exist anymore," Lois argued. "Right?"
                "As far as we know," Clark said. "Lois, you know I can't promise that I'm...completely cured, right? So far, things have been more than great. And you've helped me to heal, so much. But I just can't be sure that I'll never have another moment when the old wounds might...resurface."
                "I know," she said quietly, nodding once, her eyes fixed on the watery road before the car.
                "And...you're okay with that?" He had to know, had to ask.
                Lois nodded without hesitation. "I am. Because you're worth it."
                "Thanks, that's good to know," Clark said, smiling and playing with her just a little.
                "What? It's true!"
                "I'm glad it is," he said, sincere this time. "Because the only thing I really want in this life is you, by my side, for as long as I have left on this Earth."
                "I want the same thing. And, might I add, I'm so glad your parents - your biological parents - sent you here, to Earth, and straight into my life."
                "So am I, Lois. So am I."
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Broken