Footman in Training | By : imdirty Category: 1 through F > Downton Abbey Views: 2654 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Downton Abbey and am not making money from this story. And I'm hoping I'm doing this disclaimer thing right :) |
Mr. Carson allowed for Price to join in Nora’s send off at the train station. A light snow filled the air as the family and servants escorted Nora outside and bid their goodbyes.
“Remember,” Thomas told her, holding her hand, “it’s only just about a fortnight and then you’ll be back. And remember what you promised?”
“That I’ll try to be kind and make friends,” Nora said, monotone, as if she were reciting a line from a piece of paper.
“Not ‘try’. You will be kind, and you will make friends,” Thomas said reassuringly.
Nora said her goodbyes to the other children and Nanny Rebecca, then was helped into the car by Price. Price held one door for Lady Edith as Mr. Molesley held the other for Lady Grantham, and then Price climbed into the front of the car with the driver. Miss Baxter rode in a separate car, which Price would have taken if Nora hadn’t insisted he drive with her.
On the ride to the station, Lady Grantham and Lady Edith chatted with Nora about exciting and fun things she could expect in France, and all the activities she would come home to for the holiday. Price turned to see Nora’s expression, which looked unconvinced.
“Lady Grantham and Lady Edith are right,” Price said to Nora over his shoulder. “I was thinking you could write down all the nice things that happen and useful things you learn, and then we can talk about them when you’re back.”
“I think that’s a lovely idea,” Lady Grantham said cheerfully. “Don’t you, Nora?”
“As long as David writes things down that I miss while I’m gone.”
“Of course, I was already planning to do that,” Price said, turning back to face the road.
The train station was busy with morning commuters. Price and the driver carried the luggage to the platform and then Price stood with the women to wait for the train. He felt privileged to stand with them as the driver returned to the car.
“There’s still ten minutes,” Nora said, checking a large clock near the platform.
“How should we spend the time?” Price asked.
“Will you walk up and down the platform with me? Just you and me?”
Price looked to Lady Grantham, who nodded. “Just don’t walk too far, ten minutes can pass quickly.”
Nora took Price’s hand and led him away. They passed man after man dressed for business, with some business women mixed in, too, and then the occasional passenger who looked dressed for a trip. Nora stopped in front of a cart selling nuts.
“Are you hungry?” Price asked, watching Nora press her face against the cart’s glass side.
“I will be, and who knows what they’ll serve on the train.”
Price took a coin from his pocket and handed it to the vendor. The man handed back a little, folded paper bag, which Price held above Nora’s head.
“What do you say, Miss Grabby-hands?”
“Thank you, David,” Nora said, giggling, hands outstretched.
“Where do you think he’s going?” Nora asked, pointing at a young man who sat on his suitcase as he waited for the train.
“He's on the run, and his accomplice is hiding in the luggage.”
Nora laughed and kept walking. “What about her?” she asked, nodding at a woman in a fur coat and feathered hat.
“She’s an animal trainer, but she overslept and missed the circus train. Where’s he going?” Price asked about a young man with a stern face, holding a briefcase.
“He’s going to work to make money,” Nora said, “and he's upset that he gambled away too much of it last night.”
Price laughed and spun Nora around by the hand as if they were dancing. “Time to head back.”
“I don’t want to,” she said, but complied.
“Just two weeks. We’ve barely even known each other longer than that, so you won’t miss me too much.”
“That’s enough time to become good friends.”
“Well, exactly. So you should have no trouble making at least one before Christmas.”
Miss Baxter, Lady Grantham, and Lady Edith all smiled as Price and Nora approached them.
“What do you have?” Lady Grantham asked.
“David got me a snack,” Nora said, rattling the bag.
“David, you didn’t have to do that. We’ll make sure you’re paid back.”
“Not at all, your Ladyship,” Price said, “the pleasure is all mine.”
The conductor stepped onto the platform, and Price handed the luggage to him past the waiting ladies. “I remembered all of the bags this time,” he said to Lady Edith.
Nora put out her arms and let Price lift her into a hug before helping her onto the train. She rested her hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. “Will you survive without me?” she asked him.
“Only just barely,” Price replied. He helped Lady Grantham and Miss Baxter into the train car, then stood by Lady Edith. As soon as the remaining passengers were inside the train, the whistle blew and the train rolled away. Price and Lady Edith watched and waved until the train was out of view.
“It’s amazing how much she likes you,” Lady Edith observed as the two walked back to the waiting car. Price opened the door for Lady Edith, and as he opened the front for himself, she said, “Why don’t you sit back here with me, David?”
Price and the driver exchanged a confused glance, and Price joined Lady Edith in the back seat.
“It’s easier to talk if you’re seated next to me,” Lady Edith explained.
“Did you have something you needed to talk to me about?”
“First, I’m curious if the staff downstairs had anything to say about my visitor.”
Price wasn’t sure what kind of response Lady Edith sought. “Well, they thought it was amusing that he came through the back door, m’Lady. Of course the kitchen staff loved that, they only get to see a visitor under unusual circumstances.”
Lady Edith smiled. “And that’s it? No other talk?”
“What kind of other talk? I can’t recall any.”
“Nothing else, I was just wondering if they had. It’s not everyday someone arrives unannounced and then stays two nights.”
Price was careful with his words, gathering that Lady Edith worried the staff suspected an affair between she and Eric. “That’s true, but the staff knows how courteous the family is to guests, it’s not surprising he would be asked to stay.”
Lady Edith nodded. She folded her hands neatly in her lap. “The second reason I asked you to join me is about Nora. Well, not about her - about you. I saw one of your drawings in Nora’s room, and she showed me the others you gave her. They’re quite something, David.”
Price could feel his face changing color. “Thank you, m’Lady. I didn’t consider that anyone in the family would see them in her possession.”
“Don’t be embarrassed, I’m glad I saw them. I’m getting to know the illustrators and artists at the magazine, and some aren’t even as good as you. I was curious how you wound up a footman rather than doing something in art.”
Price chewed his lip as he thought about a response. “There’s probably a million reasons.”
“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You’re not, m’Lady.”
“I am,” Lady Edith chuckled, “I see it on your face. I didn’t mean to prod or pry. I’m getting to know more ordinary people than I ever knew before, and it’s opened my eyes that you lead such interesting and complex lives.”
Price laughed nervously and looked at his lap.
“Heavens, I think that was the most snobbish thing I’ve ever said.”
Price laughed genuinely, and looked up at Lady Edith. “We’re all snobs in our own way. Plenty of ‘em among servants, I can tell you.”
“See, there’s a whole world happening in my own house that I know absolutely nothing about.”
“Maybe you could write about it in your magazine.”
“And then you could illustrate the story,” Lady Edith said, returning Price’s smile.
“Do you write? If I may ask, of course.”
“You can ask any question you want after what I just said to you. Yes, that’s how I wound up in this world. We’re nearly back,” Lady Edith said, looking over the driver’s shoulder through the windshield. “I never did get your answer. I may bother you again about it.”
“You’d never be a bother, m’Lady. You can ask me any question, any time.”
The staff wanted to know all about Price’s ride back and forth, especially after Mr. Molesley reported Price had arrived in the back of the car with Lady Edith. Price relayed the events, making sure they didn’t sound overly interesting, but Daisy was fascinated by every detail.
“I’ve never heard of one of the ladies taking an interest in a servant,” Daisy said later when Price came down before tea service.
“No? Then how did Mr. Branson make his way upstairs?” Mrs. Patmore asked.
“David, are you the next Mr. Branson?” Ellie asked, giggling.
Price gave Ellie a stern look that rarely came across his face when talking to the other staff. “You shouldn’t say such things. You could start a rumor. A false and baseless one, I should add.”
“I’m sorry, David,” Ellie said, her shoulders shrinking.
“Well, then,” Mrs. Patmore said with reverence, “I think we’ve learned there’s a line you don’t cross with David when it comes to the Crawley family. You’re like a miniature Mr. Carson.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Patmore. I can’t recall being paid a better compliment.”
Lord Grantham was away for the afternoon, and with Lady Grantham en route to France, the younger Crawleys were the only ones home for tea. They waited for service in the library.
“I feel lonelier without a companion,” Lady Edith confessed to Mr. Branson.
“According to Mary, Eric wasn’t exactly a companion,” Mr. Branson replied, exchanging a smile with Lady Mary.
“I only meant that I liked having someone to do things with. I know it seems silly, and he was only here two days, but it was so nice to have someone to walk and talk with, especially about work and things going on in the world.”
“You’re planning to spend more time in London, aren’t you?” Mr. Branson asked. “You’ll have all the companions you can handle when you’re there.”
“I still think he had a special place in your heart,” Lady Mary said.
Lady Edith looked to the door. The servants hadn’t arrived with tea, but she lowered her voice. “I thought he may have had a special place in someone else’s heart. I saw Barrow leaving his room yesterday.”
Lady Mary raised her eyebrows.
“He said he was helping him,” Lady Edith continued, “but that seemed rather odd, as if a grown man couldn’t tie his own bowtie.”
“I once needed someone to show me,” Mr. Branson noted.
“Well Bully for Barrow if he was in Eric’s room for less than respectable reasons,” Lady Mary said. “Who could blame him with easy access to a man like that?”
“Mary!” Mr. Branson laughed, “if your parents could hear you right now.”
“Well they can’t, so I can say whatever pleases me.”
“When exactly do you refrain from saying whatever pleases you?” Lady Edith asked.
The door to the library opened and Thomas led Mr. Molesley and Price in for tea service. Lady Mary covered her mouth as a laugh started to rise to her throat. The trays were set down and Thomas stood by the table.
“Is everything alright, your Ladyship?” Thomas asked Lady Mary as she approached the table, curious why she was looking at him as she smiled.
“Everything’s quite alright, Barrow,” she replied. “So,” Lady Mary said, turning to Lady Edith. “How was Nora when you sent her off? Did she come out with any new insults or set any small fires?”
“She was pleasant, actually,” Lady Edith said, taking her tea, “but I think we have David to thank for that. He kept her occupied while we waited to board the train.”
“She does love her men,” Lady Mary said, looking at Thomas. “Are you sad to see her go, Barrow?”
“Truth be told, I am, my Lady,” Thomas said. “She has a hard exterior, but she’s a nice little girl, deep down.”
“That sounds like someone else I know,” Mr. Branson said, looking at Lady Mary.
Lady Mary took her place on the sofa. “My exterior isn’t quite that hard, thank you very much, Tom.”
“It is interesting how the children take to the staff,” Lady Edith said, joining her sister, but speaking more to Thomas than Lady Mary. “Barrow, you get along easily with all the children.”
“Who wouldn’t get along with them, my Lady? They're all good little souls.”
“We’ve had more than one member of staff who didn’t,” Lady Mary replied.
“And you, too, David,” Lady Edith said across the room to Price, standing by the door.
“What about you, Molesley?” Mr. Branson asked.
Mr. Molesley straightened his back and cocked his head as he thought. “Older children tend to connect better to me than little ones, but the children here are wonderful, of course.”
Lady Edith swallowed a bite of fig cake and looked thoughtfully at Lady Mary. “I suppose it’s nothing new. To this day, you hold a special place in Carson’s heart.”
Lady Mary looked into her teacup with a warm smile. “And he in mine.”
“I have a question, if I might ask. Since we’re all chatting so openly,” Thomas said.
“What is it, Barrow?” Lady Mary asked.
“Nora’s away for school, but it seems like she will still stay a member of this household. Should the staff not start calling her Miss Nora?”
“A member of this household,” Lady Mary sighed. “Yes, you’re right. Please make sure everyone calls her Miss Nora when she returns, though it might go to her head.”
“You just don’t like the competition for haughtiest girl in the house,” Lady Edith teased.
Lady Mary finished her tea and narrowed her eyes. “Really, Edith, stop comparing me to her.”
“She’s probably more like me,” Thomas said, taking liberty that the conversation still extended to him.
“How do you figure?” Mr. Branson asked.
“She wants to be friendly, but gets in her own way. She ends up pushing people away instead of drawing them toward her.”
“Is that how you see yourself?” Lady Edith asked.
Thomas smiled politely. “I know I can be my own worst enemy, my lady.”
“Who among us can’t be guilty of that time to time?” Mr. Branson said.
Mr. Carson entered the library, and all heads turned toward him. “There’s someone downstairs for Mr. Barrow.”
“Too bad, we were enjoying his company,” Lady Mary said to Mr. Carson over her shoulder.
“Really, my Lady?” Mr. Carson asked quizzically.
“Yes, and we were also talking a little about you.”
Mr. Carson looked at Thomas. “I suppose Mr. Barrow can fill me in on the details of your conversation after he sees to his visitor.” He took Thomas’s place by the table and watched Thomas as he left the room.
Thomas dashed downstairs. No one ever came calling for him, and now two surprise visitors had arrived within the week.
In the servant’s hall, Thomas’s brother-in-law Paul stood waiting for him, wringing his hat in his hands. He had been an athletic man in his youth, with a physique that filled a doorway. Even in middle age, he was still a large and imposing figure, with a full head of greying brown hair and brown eyes, now framed by a few wrinkles. A few of the servants were also in the hall, going about their duties as Paul stood among them. He had politely declined an offer for tea from Mrs. Hughes, and she stood near him, not sure what else to say while they waited for Thomas.
Thomas slowed to a trot as he laid eyes on Paul.
“What brings you here?” Thomas asked as casually as possible.
“Is there somewhere more private we could talk?”
“You can use my sitting room,” Mrs. Hughes offered merrily, smiling at both men in the hopes of eliciting a smile from at least one of them. She led them to the room and gestured to her small table. “Please, sit. You must let me get you something. If not tea, then water perhaps?”
“Water would be fine, thank you,” Paul said, accepting the offer out of guilt for creating the situation rather than thirst. He didn’t sit or acknowledge Thomas until Mrs. Hughes had come and gone. He sipped the water as he pulled out his chair, and motioned for Thomas to sit.
“I’m guessing this isn’t a social call?” Thomas asked.
Paul smiled. “I wish it were.”
“I hope whatever news you bring isn’t too dire. I suppose if it were, I would have received a telephone call or telegram rather than a visit.”
“No one’s been maimed or died, I guess I should’ve started with that.”
“That’s a good start, no hospital visits or funerals to attend. So what does bring you here?”
Paul tapped his heel on the ground and leaned forward in his chair. “I’m sure you think I snubbed you all these years because of… what you are, but that’s not what upset me.”
“You probably felt like I abandoned you all,” Thomas said, his lips jerking into an uneasy smile. “I pushed you away before you had a chance to reject me.”
“No one would have rejected you.”
“I see that clearly now, but a little too late.”
Paul shook his head. “No, it’s not too late. That’s why I’m here. I really could’ve used your help all these years, and I need it now.”
“Help? From me?”
“With your sister.”
“Why? What’s wrong? Is she ill?”
Paul rested an arm on the table. “She’s in one of her… moods… that she gets in. I can’t shake her from it, none of us can. You know what I mean, don’t you?”
“I have an inkling.”
“Not quite like your father’s.”
“I should hope not.”
“But they’re not far off.”
Thomas played with his hands in his lap. “How often does she get like that?”
“Used to be every few years when the boys were younger. You remember, don’t you? I can handle every few years. Maybe ten years ago, it started happening more often. The last five years, I’d say once every six months. I was bitter with you for not being around to help me.”
“How could I have helped?”
Paul shrugged. “She’s your sister. She loves you, maybe she’d listen to you. At least you could’ve helped me pull her off the bleeding ceiling when she was at her worst, or helped with the boys when I was trying to help with her.”
“It’s that bad?”
“Like I said, not far off from your father. I came close many times to just dropping her at the hospital, but I know what they do with people like her in places like that.”
Thomas struggled to keep his eyes on Paul’s, looking down frequently at his hands. “If I'm being honest, I didn’t even remember she had times like that until just now.”
“I don't blame you for allowing yourself to forget them. I’m glad the boys are out of the house and don’t have to bare witness, but still, I can’t do this alone anymore. Can you see her?”
“I can ask for a day. I’ll say it’s her health, they don’t need details. You came in person so that adds credibility.”
“That’s not a lie, it is her health.”
“I still don’t think there’s much I can do to help, but I’ll try. I owe that to the both of you.”
Paul sipped his water and exhaled. “Thomas, even just being there for the day helps me. It means I can go to work and not worry about what may have happened to her while I was gone.”
“Let me ask while you’re still here so I can tell you before you leave.”
“I’d appreciate that. I’m sorry to come and disturb you in the big house, I hope I don’t get you in trouble. I’m just at my wits end, and I couldn’t think of anything else to do with myself besides maybe jump in the river.”
“Well a soggy husband won’t help Jennie much, will it?” Thomas said with a smile. “I won’t get in trouble. It might make the butler grumpy, but that will be about the worst of it.”
Thomas excused himself and found both Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes not far from the sitting room. He explained his sister was ill and Paul had asked for a day of Thomas’s help.
“Is a day enough?” Mrs. Hughes asked.
Mr. Carson grumbled. “A day is fine. If things are grave, of course we can discuss a longer absence.”
“A day is generous,” Thomas said. “Thank you, Mr. Carson.”
Thomas told Paul he would come the next morning and spend the night, heading back first thing the following day. “The servants are having tea soon, if you wanted to stay,” Thomas offered.
“I should get back to her.”
“Will an extra hour change things much? And when’s the last time you ate?”
“It probably wouldn’t. And, last night, I think.”
“Good, then you'll stay.”
The servants were curious about the strange guest, doubly so when they learned he was a relation of Thomas’s. Paul gave Miss Baxter a hug when he saw her, whispering the reason for his visit after he kissed her cheek. “I’m so sorry,” she said, holding his arm. “I’ll visit as soon as I can.”
They all gathered for tea. Paul sat between Thomas and Anna, looking especially large seated next to her.
“I’m sorry to hear your wife is ill,” Mrs. Hughes said to Paul. “I’m glad you’re staying for a bite before you head back. It can be very taxing taking care of others.”
“It is, ma’am,” Paul said, “so I’m thankful you can spare Thomas for a day to help me.”
Mr. Molesley passed a tray of bread to Paul. “I don’t think I’ve ever met any of Mr. Barrow’s family.”
“There’s not much of a Barrow family left,” Paul said, “Plenty on my side, but Thomas is mostly all my boys have when it comes to Barrows. That’s why we named our youngest after him.”
“Isn’t that lovely?” Anna remarked. “You have a namesake.”
Thomas sat quietly. He hadn’t considered that Paul might share personal information with the rest of the staff.
“Are you close with your nephews?” Mr. Molesley asked.
“The boys grew up very fond of him,” Paul answered for Thomas. “One of our middle boys entered service to be like his uncle.”
Thomas took a sip of his tea and looked at Price, who was staring in his direction.
“Mr. Barrow doesn’t talk much about personal things,” Anna told Paul.
“Am I saying too much?” Paul asked Thomas quietly.
Thomas shook his head. “Some of them have known me for fifteen years, maybe it’s time they knew a thing or two about my life.”
Anna looked across Paul at Thomas. “It certainly makes you seem more mortal.”
“I’ve never been accused of such a thing in this house before.”
“I’ve seen you be be mortal plenty of times,” Mrs. Hughes said.
Paul chuckled and sipped his tea. “So what else does everybody want to know about Thomas?” he asked, looking around the table.
Daisy was hovering by the other end of the table, hoping for a chance to participate in the conversation. “I’d like to know where he learned to dance,” she said, finally placing her tray of bread down. “Some of us were just talking about it.”
Paul put his arm across the back of Thomas’s chair. “You still dance, do you?”
“No, not so much anymore.”
“What about singing?”
“Never.”
“He learned from his mother,” Paul said, looking back down the table to Daisy. “She was a beautiful dancer. Talented in many ways. From pianist to painter, quite the artist in her spare time.”
Thomas looked up from his cup at Miss Baxter, who was staring at him as much as Price was.
“How old was Mr. Barrow when you met him?” Daisy asked.
“Daisy, don’t you have work in the kitchen to tend to?” Mr. Carson asked.
“She’s enjoying herself. Stay, Daisy,” Mrs. Hughes said.
“I don’t want to be a bother,” Paul said, taking his arm back from Thomas’s chair.
“You aren’t at all,” Mrs. Hughes assured him. “So, how old was he?”
“Hmm, math isn’t my strong suit. You had to be thirteen, maybe fourteen?”
“Thereabouts,” Thomas said, swirling his tea in his cup.
Anna smiled. “Thirteen year old Thomas. What kind of mischief did he get into?”
“At that age? None that I can remember. He had a lot of responsibility and took it all seriously, I remember a lot less shenanigans than other boys his age.”
“I have a hard time believing that about our Mr. Barrow,” Mr. Bates said with a chuckle.
Paul leaned back in his chair, thinking. “Well, there was that friend of yours, what was her name? The little curly-headed blonde attached to you at the hip.”
“Esther,” Thomas said wistfully.
“Esther,” Paul laughed. “What a card that girl was,” he said, patting Thomas's back, “and so were you when you were with her. Now that I think of it, you two got in trouble plenty. Nothing too serious, trouble is a strong word. Hijinks is more fitting.”
“I’d like to hear an example,” Mr. Bates requested.
“Hmm. Ah, here’s one,” Paul said, putting his arm around Thomas’s chair again. “There was some sort of social event that the school was putting on, I don’t know what exactly, but it involved dress up and dancing. Tommy and Esther - I’m sorry, Thomas and Esther, wanted nothing to do with it, but their parents insisted they go. Instead of fighting it, they planned to dress up, get dropped at the school together, and then sneak off and do something else. I’m sure you wouldn’t have been caught if you chose a less conspicuous activity instead.”
Thomas smiled and played with the handle of his cup. “Oh Esther, she was so much fun.”
“First, they drank sweet wine she stole from her sister. Then, they broke into the stable at the house where her mother worked and stole two horses.”
“We borrowed two horses,” Thomas said, turning his smile from his cup to Paul.
“They borrowed two horses, and they galloped around the roads of Ripon, drunk, dressed in their finest, laughing and screaming their fool heads off. Their biggest mistake was taking a path by the constable’s office, though I’m sure they could have heard you halfway across the city.”
“How much trouble did they get in?” Anna asked.
“Esther always negotiated her way out of anything, and Thomas’s mother handled his father’s temper over the whole affair. They were the heroes at school for the next little while, I remember that much.”
Two bells rang on the wall behind Mr. Carson, but the staff was slow to rise and end their tea with Paul.
“I take it that means it’s time to go?” Paul said to Thomas.
“I can’t wait to see what kind of grief I get from everyone now,” Thomas said, rising with everyone else.
“Thank you,” Paul said to Mr. Carson. “This was a very nice distraction today.”
“I’m sorry Mr. Carson,” Thomas added. “I didn’t mean to turn tea into a spectacle.”
“On the contrary,” Mr. Carson said, eyebrows raised. “It’s nice to know you’re a human being afterall.”
Thomas saw Paul to the door and said goodbye, then turned to find Price behind him.
“That was very interesting, wouldn’t you say…”
Thomas cringed. “Please don’t say it.”
“...Tommy.”
“I hope that’s out of your system, I don’t want to hear it again. You know, I expected you to ask questions, but you were silent.”
“I assume you share what you’re comfortable sharing. If you wanted me to know those things, you would’ve told me yourself. I’d like to know, though, did you keep in touch with Esther?”
Thomas’s expression softened. “She died of scarlet fever just before her twentieth birthday.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Not as sorry as me. She was my champion. I think losing her was how I ended up staying in service. She never would have let it happen. I wasn’t allowed to be mediocre.”
“You’re not mediocre.”
“I am now, David,” Thomas said, with a look that told Price not to argue. “There’s work to do and I have to pack, and you should get on with your business.”
“You never mentioned her, but it sounds like she was very important to you. I’d like to hear about her sometime.”
“Sometime, maybe. I did a good job trying to forget her.”
“Sounds like she deserves to be remembered.”
“Not now, David,” Thomas said, the look of warning back in his eyes.
Price squeezed Thomas’s hand quickly, before anyone could walk by. “Sorry. Go pack.”
Thomas put a cigarette between his lips and headed upstairs. His thoughts were occupied by Jennie and Esther for the rest of the evening. During dinner service, Lady Grantham asked Thomas if he was ill, to which he replied, “No, your Ladyship,” while Mr. Carson glared at him for being so distracted.
In the morning, he hoped Price would be up to say goodbye, but Price’s door was shut and he wasn’t downstairs. He thought a kiss would give him courage, and was disappointed that Price hadn’t read his mind and woken up early to see him off.
Thomas had done more than a good job of forgetting Esther. He’d buried away memories of his father’s struggles, and that his sister shared them. Jennie seemed happy with every visit, phone call, and letter. It was hard to imagine her behaving like she used to years ago, and impossible to picture her like their father.
Thomas arrived at his sister’s house early, but Paul had already left for work. Thomas let himself into Jennie’s house. The dog, a hound of mixed heritage, gave Thomas a lively greeting, then whined and walked in circles. Thomas put down his suitcase, hat, and coat, and kneeled by the dog.
“Is everyone sad in this house?” he asked the animal, putting his palm out for the dog to inspect.
The dog licked Thomas’s hand, then ran halfway up the stairs and turned back to Thomas.
“I’m coming,” Thomas said, following the dog up the stairs.
There were two empty bedrooms, and a third with the door closed. The dog scratched a paw at the door and looked up at Thomas.
Thomas knocked. “Hello in there. There are two of us out here eager to see you. I’m coming in.” He turned the knob and opened the door a crack, and the dog snuck her snout through the opening and pushed into the room. The dog hopped on the bed and nudged herself under Jennie’s arm. Jennie lay on her side, dressed in day clothes but covered with a blanket, her back to the door.
“Will you come downstairs and let me make you breakfast?” Thomas asked.
“I can’t believe he dragged you here,” Jennie said into her pillow.
Thomas approached the bed. “I came of my own free will.”
“A waste of your day. Please go spend it on something worthwhile. I’ll write to you when I’m out of this mess.”
“I’m not leaving until tomorrow.”
Jennie wiped her face, her back still to Thomas. “Please, I don’t want you to see me like this, it’s embarrassing.”
“If you don’t come downstairs, I’ll just lie with you in the bed all day.”
Jennie stroked the dog and didn’t reply.
Thomas kneeled on the bed, and when Jennie didn’t turn to face him, he propped a pillow up against the headboard and sat on the bed next to her. “I’m on my feet all day so this isn’t such a bad way to spend a day off. Really, you’re doing me the favor.”
The dog jumped over Jennie and laid between the two Barrows, rolling onto her back, presenting her stomach for petting.
“At least one girl in this house will acknowledge me,” Thomas said, patting the dog’s stomach.
“I’m so tired of talking or being talked at about this. You can’t talk me out of how I’m feeling.”
“Then let’s not talk about that. What are you getting the boys for Christmas?”
Jennie was silent. The dog wiggled until Thomas petted her again.
“Well, I already know what my boyfriend is getting me.”
Jennie lifted herself onto her elbow and looked over her shoulder at Thomas.
“A watch,” Thomas continued. “He makes them. Not by trade, though he should’ve, but that’s another story.”
Jennie rolled over and faced Thomas. Her eyes and cheeks were hollow, the same look Thomas saw in the mirror when he wasn’t taking care of himself. “You have a boyfriend?”
“His name’s David.”
“How do you know him?”
“He works at Downton.”
“What’s he like?”
Thomas looked upward as he thought of ways to describe Price. “Funny. Sweet. Bright. Persistent. Motivated.”
“Attractive?”
Thomas laughed, the question taking him by surprise. He looked down at Jennie. “He makes Rudolph Valentino look like a heap of rubbish. And there’s another man who’s sweet on me, too.”
“Ooh, the scandal. What’s man number two like?”
“Interesting. Passionate. Intelligent. Challenging. Eccentric. Gorgeous, obviously.”
“Golly, sounds like David should be nervous about your other man,” Jennie said, smiling. “You’ve never talked about boyfriends with me, not even when you were younger.”
“I didn’t talk to anyone about that sort of thing. I still don’t, not really. You’re special, though, and I know I can trust you.”
“You’ve no idea what it means to hear you say that.”
“Does it mean you’ll come down for breakfast?” Thomas asked with a sunny voice.
Jennie pushed herself up from the bed and joined Thomas in her kitchen. She dragged a chair from the table to the window to enjoy the light, and looked on as Thomas attempted to navigate her kitchen. He poked through cabinets and boxes, trying to figure out what he would make and how he would manage to make it.
“Do a lot of cooking at Downton?”
“They trust me to chop things when they need an extra pair of hands. I haven’t been allowed to crack an egg in years, and I wouldn’t even try to get near the stove. That’d end with a wooden spoon coming down hard on my hand.”
“Then shove over, you, and I’ll make it.”
Jennie quickly pulled out butter, bread, sausage, onions, and herbs. She gave Thomas a few tasks and did the rest.
“So you’ve forgotten all you learned about cooking as a lad?”
“Not all, but I’ve been out of practice. I guess I ought to learn, I may be on my own in future.”
Jennie placed a slab of butter on a heating iron pan and pushed it around with a knife as it melted. “Wait,” she said, distracted by her work, “out on your own? Are you being laid off or fired?”
“No, not that I’m aware of, at least,” Thomas said as he minced garlic. “I might pursue a different kind of work. David has an idea that would put me in London.”
“Oh, I always wanted to live in London. So much more happening than in this little city. When will you decide if you’re leaving for London?”
Thomas watched as Jennie cracked eggs one-handed and dropped them into the smoking pan. “I said I’d give it until Valentine’s Day to decide, but I’m thinking that if an offer really stands, I’m going to take it.”
“I didn’t even ask, what would you be doing?”
“Helping run a watchmaking shop.”
Jennie laughed and her face looked almost like her normal self. “You can’t escape clockwork, Thomas. It’s in your veins.”
“Watches are quite different, but yes, it doesn’t get much closer to the family business than that.”
Thomas completed his tasks for Jennie and watched over her shoulder as she finished making their breakfast. He helped her plate their food and brought it to the table. Neither had eaten since the day before and both dug into their plates greedily.
“Reminds me of Saturday morning breakfast with mama,” Jennie said between bites.
“I haven’t thought of those mornings in a long time,” Thomas said. Once his hunger was satiated, he felt brave enough to venture onto the topic at hand. “You look quite a lot happier than when I arrived.”
“I always look happiest when I see a plate of food coming,” Jennie joked as she slathered jam on her toast.
“Well, I know you haven’t been happy in general these days. Paul’s worried about you.”
“Clearly, if he barged in on you at work and made you rush to my bedside. He exaggerates. I go through this, and I always come out the other side eventually. I tell him everyday he needn’t worry when he’s at work, but he still does. Though I’ve no clue what he’s so worried he’ll come home to.”
“Don’t you?” Thomas asked. He pulled his cigarettes from his vest and put one between his lips.
“Did you come here to give me a hard time? Don’t smoke those in my kitchen.”
“Fine,” Thomas said, putting his cigarette away. “I like a good fight, but I’m not going to come all the way to Ripon for one. I came because it sounds like things have gotten worse over time, not better.”
“Are you a doctor now?”
“Have you consulted with one?”
“God, Thomas,” Jennie complained, hitting the table with her fist, “what will a doctor do, hmm? I’d end up the same as I am here, but instead of my bed I’ll be on a mattress in some institution, probably on some sedative, though I feel like I’m drugged all the time, anyhow.”
“It’s not always like that anymore,” Thomas said steadily. “There are other kinds of treatments, I’ve read about them.”
“Ahh, you’ve read about them, now you’re the expert,” Jennie said with a sneer. Her chin trembled and she squeezed her fist, still pressed into the wooden table top. “Maybe in a big city, but I’m in little Ripon, and there are no new kinds of treatments here for the likes of me.”
“The Crawley family has connections in medicine. I can ask them for ideas.”
Jennie laughed. “So what, you’ll tell your employer you’re worried that your crazy sister will end up hurting herself or worse, and ask for their help to avoid putting me away under lock and key?”
Thomas put his hand over Jennie’s fist. “It doesn’t do you any good to put yourself away under lock and key, either. Let me see if there’s anything they can do. They can be quite helpful and generous when they want to be.”
Jennie shook her head. “Don’t trouble them. Don’t trouble yourself. I always get past it.”
“But you shouldn’t have to go through it in the first place. Let me try at least? It would be one little step toward making up for all the years I turned my back on you.”
The dog had been waiting for scraps from breakfast, and her patience began to wane. She put her paw on Jennie’s lap and yipped.
“Everyone’s whining at me this morning,” Jennie said, telling the dog to sit before giving her a piece of egg. “I’m tired of talking about this. Why don’t you go back to work? You can go ahead and ask, but I know it won’t do any good, Thomas. Though I love you for caring.”
“Are you kidding? I have an entire day off now. I saw a room at the top of your stairs with a pretty large bed. I’m not heading back to my rinky dink little room when I can spend a night up there.”
“Then go visit some friends while you’re here. Come back when Paul gets home and we can scrape something together for supper.”
“You are my sole reason for coming, so accept it and let’s move on. Do you still have a backgammon set?”
“Grandpa’s? Yes.”
“Go get it. Best three out of five.”
“What do I get if I win?” Jennie asked, a small smile creeping over her lips.
The same smile grew on Thomas’s face. “I brought a big bag of penny chews, and I’ll share them with you if you win.”
“Oh goodness, Thomas, penny chews and backgammon. It warms my heart that you remember those kinds of things.”
“All the best memories from my childhood are because of you, how could I forget?”
“You better share even if I lose.”
“Stop yammering and get the board, and I’ll consider it.”
Jennie set the board on a table, but they eventually moved to the floor in front of the hearth, laid out like they played when they were younger. Over their games of backgammon, Thomas and Jennie chatted about things from their shared past, things that happened during the years they didn’t speak, and then of things to come. Thomas felt his visit was worthwhile when Jennie spoke about positive things the future could hold.
“Can I give you my diagnosis?” Thomas asked after Jennie won the final round.
“As long as you share your candy.”
“You don’t have anything to occupy your mind, no work or real hobbies. There aren’t little boys to chase around and take up all your time. You need to find something meaningful to do with your time.”
Jennie grabbed the bag of candy from Thomas and unwrapped a piece of licorice. “I think your diagnosis is too simple and there’s much more to it than that.” She sifted through the bag to take the pieces she wanted.
“We’re splitting fifty fifty, you don’t get to pick out the best bits,” Thomas said, picking pieces back from the pile Jennie made in her lap. “Of course there’s more to it. I was raised by the same man, don’t forget, but while I look for some way to help you, you should find something to do with your time other than laying in bed and staring at the wall.”
Jennie stole a piece of taffy from Thomas, unwrapped it quickly, and put it in her mouth. “I will try.”
“I can’t understand you with your mouth full.”
“I will try!” Jennie laughed, struggling to speak with taffy stuck in her molars. “Thank you, Thomas.”
“For what? You stole that piece.”
“You know for what.”
The two packed up the game and climbed back to their feet, more slowly than they would have as children.
Thomas noticed a picture of himself on the wall from when he was younger. “Do you think Esther would have been disappointed in me?”
Jennie followed Thomas’s eyes, but remained confused by his question. “Where did that come from?”
“I haven’t thought of her in ages, but Paul mentioned her yesterday and now I can’t get her off my mind. She had big ideas for me, and look at me now. I’ve been in service my entire adult life, I’ve made nothing else of myself.”
“Then make something of yourself now.”
Jennie’s response caught Thomas off guard. He expected something reassuring, comforting, maternal. He laughed lightly. “So you agree I’m nothing?”
“Would you like my honest opinion?”
Thomas looked at Jennie with wide, uneasy eyes. “Not really, but please say it.”
“I think you can do better.”
Thomas ran a hand over his hair, then let his hands come to rest on his hips. “Well I didn’t make nothing of myself. Under-butler is something.”
“You were looking for me to disagree with you and make you feel good about your job, eh? Well I’m sorry, but this is how I feel. I think you settled for something that comes easy for you. You made something of yourself, don’t misunderstand me, but it’s obviously not the something you wanted. Esther would be disappointed that you let your dreams fall by the wayside.”
Thomas stood silently, hands still on his hips. His breathing quickened and his chin quivered like Jennie’s had over breakfast. “I don’t even know what my dreams are anymore.”
“Then you need to figure it out, love. You can always talk to me, but I will be brutally honest, because I think you’re strong enough to take it.”
Thomas clapped his hands together. “So now what?”
“Well, I feel badly that I made you nearly cry, so I’ll let you smoke in the kitchen while I make tea.”
“Alright, but I wasn’t going to cry.”
“Sure you weren’t, little brother.”
The two avoided serious subjects for the rest of the day, enjoying each other's quiet company until Paul returned from work. Paul made supper and kept conversation going until bedtime, relieved to have another person in the house to help engage Jennie. Thomas kissed Jennie goodnight before he turned in, telling her he would be up well before she would. However, in the morning she was dressed and downstairs waiting for him, with a sandwich for him to take for breakfast and hug to last until she would see him next.
Thomas arrived back at Downton while breakfast service was in progress. There was little activity downstairs, so he took his time unpacking and getting into his uniform for the day. As he bent to put his empty suitcase under his bed, he saw that his post from the day before had been left on his bed. There was a little red envelope with Eric’s return address. Thomas opened and unfolded it quickly. The handwriting was looser than Eric’s usual penmanship, the ink bleeding a little where the letter was folded.
My dear Thomas,
I attempted to write this letter three times with no success, so here’s hoping this one doesn’t end up in a crumpled ball in the bin. Perhaps absence does make the heart fonder, or maybe distance gives clarity? - oh hell, I don’t know. I should say it plainly. I’m throwing my hat back in the ring.
I know, after everything I told you that you should do, I feel nothing but regret over it since returning to London. I pushed you toward David because I thought you would be there with him, and I would be here alone, and it was the best thing for us. Now I picture you coming to London, and it changes everything.
I’m drawn to you like no one else, and I know you’re drawn to me. I wasn’t lying when I said I want what’s best for you, but now I realize that maybe I’m what’s best for you. We could have a real go at things if you move here, don’t you think? I am in love with you after all, I’m just sorry I didn’t see it when I was there. David is a lovely person, and I see clearly why you love him. However, you and I are better suited.
I completely understand if you don’t want to stay my friend after I wrote all of this, but I had to write it if there’s even the slightest chance that you could be mine. I want to crumple this up, but I won’t. I’ll post it and then probably regret it, but then it’s done and you’ll know how I feel. I have to try or I’ll never forgive myself.
-E
“Hey handsome, how’s your sister?”
Thomas looked up from the letter to see Price leaning against his door frame.
“Oh, I thought you were serving breakfast,” Thomas said, folding the letter quickly.
“I was. You look pale, are you getting ill?”
“No, it was just a long day yesterday.”
Price closed Thomas’s door. “I’m sorry you had a hard day. Would a kiss make it better?”
“No,” Thomas said, putting his hand up as Price approached. “I’m just not in the mood right now. I should let Mr. Carson know I’m back.”
“You're not in the mood because of your sister, or because of whatever’s in your hand?”
Thomas squeezed the letter. “I need a little space today, David. Can you manage to respect that?”
Price gave Thomas a flirty smile. “I just wanted to give you a warm welcome. One night away and I’m pining for you, what can I say?”
“I'd like space for the whole day, please.”
“Oh,” Price said, as if Thomas's words struck him physically. “I see.” He swallowed and walked backward to the door. “Then I'll bother you no more today.”
Thomas didn't look up as Price left. When he was sure he was alone again, he unfolded the letter and read it again twice over. He put it back in it's red envelope and put it in his jacket pocket, as no space in his room seemed safe, and headed downstairs.
While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.
Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!
Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo