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Hunting Humanity VI	By : greenwizard11 Category: Supernatural > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1256 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Supernatural universe. No money is being made from this story.

Chapter List
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Dean sat a spinach and tomato salad in front of Liam. “Look, I don’t like it either, but you can’t out stubborn this. You’re passing out, and… One piece of fruit a day really ain’t cutting it. Do I need to tell Sam to bring up that article again?”

Liam sighed. “You can quit lecturing me now. All that breath you just used up on me could’ve been better spent finding the right bone to end this little problem.”

“Then stop being an idiot!” Dean growled. “I know you’re an off the chart genius, but you do such stupid shit sometimes. I know you have an interest in human biology, so you know what an idiot you’re being. So really, I don’t get it. You’d rather have permanent vital organ damage than just eat smart.” Liam shot Dean a glare, but picked up a fork and started eating the salad. “There you go. Smartest thing you’ve done all day.”

“Have you considered getting the bone from a convent crypt?” Liam asked after a few bites.

Sam and Dean looked at each other. “Why didn’t we think of that?” Sam looked impressed.

“I think it’s because you two were too distracted trying to get me to eat something. Because I found out that there was a nun who some thought should be considered for sainthood not too far away. I don’t think she’d mind donating a bone to the cause, and I think it would work.”

“What do you think?” Dean looked to his brother.

Sam let it tumble around in his mind for a minute. “I think if anything would work...”

“Awesome,” Liam took the bowl and fork to the sink. “Let’s go.”

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “You know what I think?” he turned to Sam. “The leviathan could clone his brain and download every fact in it and still be at a huge disadvantage. His grapefruit is a jumbled mess of crazy, but somehow it works. Now what the hell is he doing with me?”

“I think that falls under the crazy part,” Sam teased.

They got into the car and drove to the convent, sneaking their way down to the crypt. “Who are we looking for?” Dean asked.

“Sister Mary Constant,” Liam answered. “And it looks like she’s right over there,” he pointed his flashlight.

“Alright then,” Dean picked up his mallet and smashed open her coffin.

They went back to the cabin and prepared to summon Crowley again because his blood was the last piece of the puzzle. Dean threw a lit match into the bowl and looked around. “Is he trying to make a grand entrance or...?”

Sam shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Son of a bitch. He's standing us up.”

“Well, we summoned him. Doesn't he kind of have to…?”

“If Crowley wants to screw you, he'll screw you.”

“Or he can't come because something went wrong,” Liam pointed out. “Dick does know what we’re up to and can put the pieces together too.”

Dean sighed. “There’s a thought I don’t like thinking about.

A minute later it was Castiel who appeared. “Now, you understand I no longer participate in aggressive activity.”

“And?” Dean blinked at him.

“The Garrison.”

“What happened to the Garrison?” Sam asked.

“Well, finally, the silence was deafening, so I went to look... to the home of the Prophet. You know, leviathan can kill angels. There's a reason why Father locked them in Purgatory. They're the piranha that would eat the whole aquarium. They're gone. The entire Garrison is dead. If there's anyone left at all, they're in hiding.”

“If the angels are dead, where's Kevin?” Dean asked.

“They took him. He's alive. I felt such responsibility, but it's in your hands now.”

Dean took a minute to process. “Wait. Hold on a freakin minute.”

“I feel much better,” Castiel seemed to relax.

Liam sighed. “That must be how Dick knows.”

It was then that Crowley finally appeared. “Hello, boys. Sorry I'm late. This is an embarrassment of riches. Castiel. When last we spoke, you, well, enslaved me. I'm confused. Why aren't you dead?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, do you want to be? Because I can help with that.”

“Alright, enough,” Dean got between them.

“It's enough when I say. I came here to help you. I find out you've been lying to me, harboring an angel, and not just any angel, the one angel I most want to crush between my teeth.” Crowley glared at Castiel. “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?”

“Well, I'm still, uh, honing my communication strategy. I haven't even been back to heaven. I keep thinking there are no insects up there, but here we have trillions. You know, they're making honey and silk and... miracles, really.”

Crowley gave him a confused look. “What are you talking about?”

“Um, preferring insects to angels, I guess. Here. I can offer a token, if you like.” He held up a bag with a yellow substance. “It's honey. I collected it myself.”

Crowley looked to Dean. “He's off his rocker, is that it? Karma's a bitch, isn't it?” He helped himself to a glass of whiskey on the table.

Dean sighed. “Look, did you come here to, uh, donkey punch your old grudges or to help us end Dick? Pick a battle.”

“Well, I'm vexed. I'd like to do both. But where's the fun in clobbering a ball of wet fur? Text me when Sparkles here retrieves his marbles, I suppose. Meanwhile... a prezzie,” he took a vial of blood out of his jacket.

Sam looked skeptical. “Really? Just boxed up and ready to go?”

“I'm a model of efficiency.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Is that right? Then why were you late?”

“Dick had me in a devil trap. He's not an idiot. He knows what you two are after.”

“So, what did he offer you?”

“A fair deal in exchange for giving you the wrong blood. It's demon, but is it mine?” He paused. “It's my blood. Real deal.”

“And why should we trust you?” Dean asked.

“Good god, don't. Never trust anyone. A lesson I learned from my last business partner,” his gaze fell on Castiel.

Dean sighed. “Alright. Give us the blood.”

“Certainly,” Crowley tossed the vial to Sam who caught it. “Oh, another tip. You’re going to want your angel friend to get his act together. He’s going to be vital.”

As soon as Crowley was gone Dean picked up the journal and they gathered around the table with everything. Dean read over the text again. “Well, one thing's for sure, we only get one shot. This thing don't reload.”

Sam turned to his brother. “You think Crowley's, uh...”

“Double-crossing us?” Dean finished the sentence. “You've got to figure who he wants dead more, us or Dick.”

Sam opened the vial and poured it into a little bowl with the rest of the blood they collected. Then he poured it over the bone. They all looked around expecting something to happen, but nothing did. “Think it worked?” Liam asked.

Sam shrugged. “Maybe.”

Castiel appeared, holding three plates with sandwiches. “So, none of this should cause you any ill effect. I went to a little farm in Normandy for the wheat and the lettuce and tomato, and I thoroughly examined and comforted the pig before I slaughtered it for the ham. Here.” He held a plate out to Dean. “You need your strength.”

Dean took the offered plate. “Thanks, Cas.”

Sam looked to the angel. “And Cas, why was Crowley so certain that you need to come with us?”

“Crowley's wrong. I'll be waiting right here. But please, accept this sandwich as a gesture of solidarity.”

Dean pointed to Liam. “You, eat. You look like you might pass out on us again.”

Liam rolled his eyes but took the sandwich. “Thank you, Cas,” he mumbled before sitting down to eat.

Once they had everything ready they drove to Sucrocorp headquarters in a stolen car and parked outside. Sam got on his laptop to hack into their security feed. “Here we go,” he brought up footage of some meeting. “Thank you, Charlie, wherever you are.”

“Got you, Dick,” Dean smirked.

“Yeah, that's, uh, the second floor,” then the screen changed to footage of Dick alone at his desk. “And then, what's that?”

Dean blinked. “What the hell? Is that Dick?” A third screen change showed Dick walking down the hall. “Son of a bitch.”

“He cloned himself,” Liam sighed. “Completely brilliant. Wish I could clone myself.”

Dean looked back at him. “The world ain’t prepared to handle more than one of you. Sam, cycle through again.”

A pick up truck pulled over across the street and a woman in a maid’s uniform got out. Sam took a close look at her. “That's the maid from the motel.”

“What motel?” Dean looked a little confused.

Sam watched the woman start to head inside. “Oh, no. Oh, Bobby, what are you doing?”

Dean blinked. “Wait. Are you saying that Bobby…?”

“Look, just, uh, wait here,” Sam got out of the car.

“Are you out of your mind?” Dean shot his brother a funny look.

“You guys got the weapon, and eyes on Dick, plural. I'll take care of Bobby,” Sam followed the maid.

Sam came back a little while later carrying the unconscious maid. They took her to a hospital and headed back to the cabin since it didn’t seem like there was much more they could do.

The next day Dean sat at the table staring at Bobby’s flask. Castiel gave them each another ham sandwich and then started washing dishes. “Do we need a cat? Doesn't this place feel one species short?” he said randomly.

Dean turned to him. “You got anything to say on the topic of Dicks? Crowley was pretty sure that you could help.”

Castiel frowned. “I can't help. You understand? I can't. I destroyed everything, and I will destroy everything again. Can we please just leave it at that?”

Dean shook his head. “No, we can't. We can't leave it. You let these friggin things in. So you don't get to make a sandwich. You don't get a damned cat. Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas. Clean up your mess!”

Castiel put down the dish he was holding. “You know, we should play Twister.” He disappeared.

Liam sighed and sat back. “It just occurred to me that those damn things were inside him before they busted out. He’s got the best knowledge available on them, and he’s gone fruit loops.”

Dean sat back down. “You think he could tell which one is the real Dick?”

“Probably. The question becomes can we get him to cooperate?”

Dean grabbed the laptop and started watching footage of all the Dicks. “There's no real point in looking for a tell. They all downloaded Dick's brain. They've all got the same tells.”

Sam sighed. “Alright, then maybe the question is, what would the real Dick be doing?”

Bobby appeared behind them. “Is that the best you can do? Idjits.”

Sam looked at him surprised. “Bobby. We didn't know if you’d, uh...”

“Well, you should've. You got the flask. Dumb. You should've burned it right off. I'm still jonesing to go back... grab some poor bastard, kamikaze them going after Dick. It's bad.” Bobby saw an image of Dick on the laptop screen and Dean quickly closed it. “Let's be real. Sam, I damn near killed you. And that woman.”

Sam unconsciously touched his neck. “It wasn't your fault, Bobby, not really.”

“Right. That's just what ghosts turn into. I really bet the farm I could outsmart that.”

“So, what's it feel like?” Dean asked.

“What? Going vengeful? It's an itch you can't scratch out. Look, I'm done. Go get Dick. But don't do it because you think it'll scratch the itch. Do it because it's the job. And when it's your time... go.”

They all nodded and built a fire. “Here's to running into you guys on the other side. Only, not too soon. Alright?” Bobby looked at them.

Dean tossed the flask into the fire and Liam leaned against him as it started to melt. Dean pulled his mate close as they watched Bobby go up in flames. Sam turned it into a group hug and they just stood like that for several minutes.

The next day Castiel approached Dean. “If we attack Dick and fail, then you three die heroically, correct?”

Dean shrugged. “I don't know. I guess.”

“And at best, I die trying to fix my own stupid mistake. Or I don't die, I'm brought back again. I see now. It's a punishment resurrection. It's worse every time.”

“I'm sorry. Uh, we're talking about God crap, right?”

“I'm not good luck, Dean.”

“Yeah, but you know what? Bottom of the ninth, and you're the only guy left on the bench. Sorry, but I'd rather have you, cursed or not. And anyway, nut up, alright? We're all cursed. I seem like good luck to you?”

“Well, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I detect a note of forgiveness.”

“Yeah, well, I'm probably gonna die tomorrow, so...”

“Well, I'll go with you. And I'll do my best.”

Dean gave him a smile and a slight nod. “Thanks.”

“So, can I ask the plan?”

“Well, according to Crowley, Dick knows we're coming, so we're gonna announce ourselves, big.”

The next day Dean handed Liam the keys to the Impala and kissed him tenderly. “Please be careful.”

Liam chuckled. “Yeah, I know, don’t scratch your baby.”

Dean raised the blond’s chin to look him in the eye. “I meant you. I care more about you than I do a car. Get through this in one piece.”

Minutes later the Impala was racing right through Sucrocorps front gate, Disturbed blasting from the radio. Liam crashed right into their glass sign and slipped out of the passenger side to hide as security guards came out guns blazing. Liam held a big bottle of power clean and a machete. “Come a little closer you sons of bitches,” he grumbled.

Meanwhile Sam, Dean, and Castiel were lurking around inside the building. Dean and Castiel found the real Dick in the lab. Dick gave them a charming smile. “Castiel. Good to see you again. Thanks for the ride into paradise.” Dean took out a blood stained bone sharpened to a point. “And good on you! Pulling that together. A-plus.”

Dean glared at him. “Oh, you don't think this'll work, do you? You trust that demon?”

“You sure I'm even me, Dean?”

“No. But he is,” Dean motioned to Castiel. “See, here's the thing when dealing with Crowley, he will always find a way to bone you.”

“This meeting's over.” Dick picked Castiel up and threw him into a wall. Dean stabbed Dick in the chest, but Dick pulled it right out and snapped it in two. “Did you really think you could trump me?”

“Honestly?” Dean took another bone out of his jacket. “No.” Castiel got up and grabbed Dick’s head. Dean plunged the second bone sideways into his neck and he started to gurgle. “Figured we'd have to catch you off guard.”

Sam and Kevin came into the room when pulses of energy started erupting from Dick. Then suddenly he exploded in a wave of black goo. Sam shielded Kevin from the blast. “Sam, we should go,” Kevin looked freaked out.

“What the hell?” Sam looked around the room splattered in black goo.

Kevin pulled on his sleeve. “More chompers any second, Sam.”

Crowley suddenly appeared. “Not to worry. I have a small army of demons outside. Cut off the head, and the body will flounder, after all. Think if you'd had just one king since before the first sunrise. You'd be in a kerfuffle, too.”

Sam glared at him. “Which is exactly what you wanted.”

“So did you. Without a master plan, the levis are just another monster. Hard to stomp, sure, but you love a challenge. Your job is to keep them from organizing.”

“Where's Dean?”

“That bone has a bit of a kick. God weapons often do. They should put a warning on the box.”

“Where are they, Crowley?”

“Can't help you, Sam.”

“What about Liam? You said you had an army of demons out there. They won’t…?”

“Had them call an ambulance. Really, eleven gunshot wounds and still kicking enough to put down the guards and try to kill my little soldiers. That’s something to admire.” Crowley snapped his fingers and two demons appeared on either side of Kevin. “Sorry, Sam. Prophet's mine.” The demons disappeared just as quick with Kevin. “You got what you wanted. Dick's dead, saved the world. So, I want one little prophet. Sorry, moose. Wish I could help. You certainly got a lot on your plate right now. It looks like you are well and truly on your own.” Crowley disappeared, leaving Sam by himself.
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Hunting Humanity VI