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Yearning for Our Unicity	By : LuluDreams Category: S through Z > YOU Views: 185 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: all characters belong just and only to the marvelous Caroline Kepnes, Netflix etc, I just own my sick ideas, lol

Chapter List
- 20
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Summary:
Joe and Bronte share a new experience.
Notes:
Setting: sort of spin off of ‘Good Ideas’ so, between 5x8 and 5x9.
Prompt: Pumpkin carving
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text

(Pump)kin..d of scary

Joe’s POV

“The Halloween event is in two nights and you did an amazing job with the decoration.” I say, coming back to Mooney’s.

“I know!” You grin, going towards me, not before dealing with a customer’s purchases.

You’re such a good employee, after all.

“We’re closing in about ten minutes, so once you’re done, reach me outside at the car.” I inform you.

And after a while you arrive and that’s when I open the truck, revealing what there is inside.

“Joe, why did you buy so many pumpkins?” You wonder, helping me to unload them.

I raise an eyebrow.

“Try to guess…”

“Oh. But it wasn’t necessary, there’s plenty of fake, plastic pumpkins.”

“If you do something, you have to go through with it.” I state.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“You just can’t talk me into having a Halloween night event at Mooney’s and then skip the main decoration.”

“But I don’t know how to do that, I’ve never tried!” You protest.

Just what I needed to hear.

“Neither did I. Well, well. looks like tonight will be a perfect chance to learn something new. C’mon, help me take the pumpkins to the basement.”

“Is it a ‘Boss-Employee’ type thing?” You wonder, suspicious.

I smile my crookedest smile, because I know it always works.

“It can be a ‘Whatever you please’ type thing.” I whisper to your ear, softly nibbling the tip.

Another of my secret weapons.

And that’s how I get you happily waddling towards the basement as you hold the first pumpkin.

----------------------------

“So, what do you think it’s the first thing to do?” I question, once we have all we need to start.

“I suppose we have to cut the top of the pumpkin.”

“That’s right. Be careful not to cut your fingers. And once you take it off, you have to clean the inside, but don’t throw away the seeds, keep them aside, we can make cookies with them.”

“Cookies, you said? Okay, can’t wait…” You reply, but you don’t sound very convinced.

After all you and cooking is not the most winning combo.

“On second thought, maybe it’s better if I make them, alone.” I rectify.

“Oh, so you give up so easily having a kitchen assistant!” You grumble.

“Yes, because I still remember the pasta you made two days ago!”

“Oh, c’mon, it wasn’t so overcooked, after all!” You protest, throwing at me one of the sponges we used to clean the pumpkins before, but I dodge in time.

“Don’t you even try, Bronte. Don’t forget I’m half Italian: that pasta was uneatable!”

“We’d better focus on the cutting part.” You decide for both, also to nip the topic in the bud.

It took me only a few seconds to cut the upper part

I can’t say the same about you.

“Hey Joe, I may need a bit of help here…” You mutter.

I turn towards you and I see how you’re fighting with the pumpkin.
You’re just so adorable!

“This damn thing is so hard and thick and I’m afraid the blade is stuck!” You growl, as you are trying to pull that knife as if it was Excalibur.

Don’t worry, my beloved clumsy little Arthur, I’ll help you.

“Don’t try to pull the knife, it’s just useless,” I advise you, as I place myself right behind you, my hand holding yours. “Just try to slightly move it first to the left, then to the right.”

As I instruct you, I also move your hand to do what I said and it works, the blade is free again.

You raise your gaze to look at me from behind.

“Thank you, Prince Chavalry!” You smile.

“Good. Now insert the blade again, with more determination and put the other hand on the top of the pumpkin, to keep it still and let the blade flow…” I guide your hands again.

And just a few seconds later, you’re proudly removing the top.

“Tell me, Professor Goldberg,” You whisper, bringing your arm behind to caress my neck. “Do you always like teaching so hard or you’re just happy to teach me?”

Ohhh, you must have felt how much I was enjoying the closeness.
We both giggle and then you turn and cling to me, right before kissing me.

“Can we take a little break from the pumpkins?” You ask, against my lips.

I just deepen the kiss and pull you closer.

But before your hands reach the belt of my pants I part from you.

“But what….?” You frown.

“We said ‘little break’; not ‘whole Shagging Night’ .” I explain, coming back to my workspace. “Now put your hands inside the pumpkin and clean it, taking off all the seeds, and putting them into a bowl.”

“Eeeww! It’s so slimy and sticky!” You grimace. “I preferred to put my hands inside your boxers!”

“Ohhh I know, but to get to my pumpkin, you have to deal with this one, first!” I tease you.

“You know that from now on I’m going to call it ‘pumpkin’?” You giggle.

“As long as you want to take care of it, you can call it how you please!” I wink at you. “Now go on with the cleaning!”

“It’s just so gross, how can you do that?” You complain, as you laboriously keep emptying the pumpkin.

“I had it much, so much worse!” I shrug, as I’m already cleaning my second pumpkin.

Well, Bronte, I’d never thought you would get so squeamish for so little… just try to chop a corpse at least once and then talk to me!

Finally, when you’re done with the cleaning, we can go to the next step.

“Okay, now, it’s carving time and there are many ways to do that. You can draw on the pumpkin first, then go around it, piercing with a screwdriver or a big bodkin or whatever you prefer. Or if you feel self confident enough, you can just go free hand with the knife. Or, if you prefer the easy way…”

“Yes, yes, easy way, pretty please!”

You sound so desperate that it makes me chuckle.

“Okay, okay, here we go: cookie cutters…”

“The ones you’re gonna use to make the pumpkin cookies later?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Then you take our little friend, the mallet, place the cutter where you please, hit it with the mallet until they completely pierce the skin of the pumpkin, you remove them and that’s how you get star eyes, round eyes, square eyes, every-shape-you-prefer eyes!”

“Ohh yes, I like it!” You cheer, stealing the mullet from me.

“Alright, let’s begin then! I’d say each of us should carve a couple of pumpkins.”

“Then why did you buy six ones?” You frown again.

“Just in case you made some mistakes?” I stick my tongue out at you.

“Why just me?”

“Because I know for sure I won’t make any mistakes!”

“Oh! Is that what you want? I’ll show you, you… cocky sneaky little shit!” You glare at me.

You’re just so hot when you’re pissed off.

-----------------------------------------------

Contrary to my pessimistic expectations, you didn’t destroy a single pumpkin, so at the end we have made six carved pumpkins.

Three each.

Oh well, you felt so confident that you decided to realize the last one going free hand with the knife… and it became a sort of Picasso Pumpkin, but probably it’s the scariest one.

“Geez, just look at the perfection of yours, there’s not even a single mistake… and you just did it with your hand and your knife!” You state in awe, examining all my three pumpkins.

“Well, you did a nice job, too, it’s funny the one with starry eyes , starry nose and starry mouth.” I strike back and I’m not even lying.

“But I chose the easy way.. not to mention what happened to the last pumpkin when I tried to do it with the knife.. it even lost a tooth!”

“Well, let’s just eliminate the other tooth as well, then glue two pointy pieces oz pumpkin and.. here how we get even a vampire pumpkin. Ezra would approve.” I smile at you.

You just walk closer to me and sit on my lap.

“Oh, Joe, you always manage to find the right words to cheer me up.” You wrap your arms around my neck, before kissing me, slowly, sweetly, for a long time.

“Practice will help you make it better.” I pat your shoulder, when we part.

“But you say it was your first time, too!” You jump off my lap.

“And it was, but you know.. with all the fixing books stuff, I’m rather skilled with craftsmanship!” I shrug.

I’m just telling the truth. after all.

“Yes, I know, but the way you managed to do that so easily…. I don’t know, it’s like you had done nothing else in your life but go around, poking people’s eyes out!”

“Naaah, I’m more used to pulling out all people’s teeth!”

There’s a moment of silence.
Cold silence.
And the way you’re staring at me…

Oh shit. I just have to quit giving answers so absentmindedly.

And just when I’m dreading the worst, you burst out laughing.

“Oh you, silly billy! Halloween is in two days, it’s a tad too soon to already scare the hell out of me!” You slap my shoulder, playfully.

Saved by the… most terrifying event of the year.
God bless Halloween!

“So.. was it working?” I ask you, with my best threatening tone and look.

You just giggle and jump onto me.

“Come here, serial killer wanna-be!” You make fun of me, ruffling my hair.

Oh Bronte, if you only knew…

--

THE END
Notes:
As I’ve already written in the notes of another story, Bronte being an awful cook is my headcanon, LOL
I had fun writing this, hope you had fun reading it.
See ya tomorrow.
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Yearning for Our Unicity

Summary:

Notes:

Chapter Text

Notes: