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Home Unknown	By : katecooley Category: S through Z > Xena Views: 15191 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Xena, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 22
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See part one for all the semi-legal song and dance. I'm so glad you guys are patient.. You guys rock!

I've had a hell of a time updating. Writer's block is an ugly houseguest. And fanfiction.net can cram it with walnuts.

And unfortunately, chapter 14 has been lost to the ages. It disappeared from my hard drive never to be seen again and when ff.net deleted my story, that went with it, I think the story still works without it, though. If I get time, I'll try and recreate it from memory for continuity's sake.

***

Part 24 - Godhood Waits For No Man

"Ungh� right there."

"It's not too�"

"Gods, no� do it harder."

"Let me know if you want me to stop�"

"Sure. Sometime in the next century'll do just fine� *gnnrk* Damn�"

"Good 'damn'?"

"Verrrry good 'damn'�"

Every time he raised his hand to reach for the knob, happy noises from within made Strife stop. It was quite the quandary besetting him. There was the need to bathe in the mischief energy that busting in on the romantic doings would give him and a voice in the back of his head nagging at him to let Joxer and Unc enjoy what would probably be a rare moment of non-chaos in their lives. Something also reminded him of the pain that barging in would bring down on his body, but that had never stopped him before.

He thought about knocking - it would give him something close to a half-charge but would avoid the probability of a fireball launched in his direction. He raised his hand again.

"*puurrrrr* More of that, please."

"As you wish� y'know, if you relax, this'll go much easier�"

"Oh man�" Strife sighed, really feeling the need to barge in on his uncle getting pinned down and ravaged. Not that it was something he really needed to add a visual to, but the power he'd get would be historic. Ditto the agony� This was murder. But the guilt of ruining this for both men was fierce. After years of watching happiness getting yanked away from both the growly god and the formerly hapless former mortal, he'd be damned to the darkest, dampest, rat-filled-est corner of Tartarus before he did it himself.

But still�

Sharp prickles on the back of the Mischief God's neck made his decision for him. He'd set out godly boobytraps and one was going off, letting him know that someone was looking for him. He'd had a last minute bout of nerves and had scraped up his hand something terrible trying to get that scroll back out of the box back at Cupid's place. Having failed that, and narrowly escaping having to run around Olympus with a box on his hand, he was doing the next best thing - avoiding his cousin like the plague. So far, so good, but Feathers had to know that something was up. And if he'd read that scroll� Strife shuddered and checked his shields again, making sure that his energy signature was good and masked before he�

Almost jumped out of his skin as the door to his uncle's private room swung open. He hated being skittish - it reminded him of several decades of puberty best left forgotten. Joxer slipped out, closing the door behind him quietly. A naughty frisson of energy skittered through Strife when Joxer turned and started in surprise at seeing someone there.

"Hey Jox."

"Strife! I didn't think anyone was around� actually, I was kinda hoping things would stay quiet." Joxer jerked a thumb at the door behind him. "Ares is� asleep."

"I don't doubt it, you dog," Stride giggled more heartily and nudged the new god, watching him blush around the edges. "You wore Ol' Leather-drawers out, huh?"

"He was all bunched up� his back and shoulders. I just showed him some stuff I picked up when I followed Xena and Gabby to Chin last time. They were off doing something with a dragon or something and I kinda�" the blush deepened, "got lost."

More like they bailed on ya on purpose, Strife grumbled to himself, keeping up an interested façade for Joxer. "Find somethin' inneresting, didja?"

Joxer brightened up a little and nodded. "Yeah! Some great curio places and an inn that did the weirdest thing with seaweed� and this bathhouse complex. It cost me my last three dinars but they seemed happy to have some hard money in their hands."

"Bathhouse?" One of Strife's eyebrows cranked up and a long smile spread out. "You are a dog."

"Nonono, not like that�" the blush was back in force. "Well� not just like that anyway. They had these hot baths and steam rooms and this great natural spring and little women who walked on your back and just ground all the tension out with their toes. And their elbows. I don't think I could hold a cup for a day after they finished with me. I begged off the thing with the long, scary-looking needles, though." He shuddered minutely. "I don't care how good it's supposed to feel. Those things were sharp."

Strife held back the snicker at that, and the explanation that if they were dull, they'd hurt much worse. "So, Unc let you have at his back, huh? Problems with Iphy's sitch?"

"No� he told me about Crete."

Strife's entire posture tightened and stiffened. "Yeah? Huh. Unc don't talk much about that." He cast an inquisitive look at Joxer. "Howdja do it?"

"I dunno," Joxer shrugged, motioning for Strife to follow him away from the door. "We were talking and the conversation steered that way and the next thing I know, I watching Athena screw him out of his godhood."

"Watching, huh? Like, through a mirror?"

"Uh-uh. It was� I was there, but not there. It was like standing in a memory."

"Huh." And that was all that Strife could say. That was typical Unc. He wasn't one for sitting around and rehashing the painful junk - Strife wasn't either. Probably something he'd learned growing up around the War God. No wonder he was beat - reconstructing a memory like that was a big drain of godly energy, even for one as powerful as Ares.

"Athena never really liked him, did she?" Joxer prodded on, his voice bringing Strife back from his train of thought.

"Theenie ain't too hot on anyone who ain't her," Strife snorted. "Specially us kids, since she never was one. If it wasn't fer Unc, she'd-a got Zeus to make us all grow up long ago, like she did to Apollo. She thinks it's illogical and inefficient to let us grow up regular when we could just be insta-grown."

"That's stupid."

"That's what I said!" Strife threw his hands up in the air in mock surrender. "And then she gets all crazy, steam comin' out her ears, sputterin' and turnin' purple."

"Which is why you said it in the first place," Joxer smirked.

"WELL DUH!" The mischief god steered the undefined immortal toward the common room with the big table. "What else am I s'posedta do? Nod an' smile? Let that empty-headed blond at her elbow take that job."

"That would be Apollo?"

"Not an original thought in that noggin, I'm tellin' ya. Whatever Theenie says, you gotta know it'll come outta SunBoy's mouth not so soon after." Suddenly, Strife stiffened up, his eyes darting around like crazy. "Uhh, Jox. You're OK here by yourself, yeah?"

"I guess� what's wrong?" Joxer looked around the room to see what had Strife so spooked all of a sudden.

"Nothin'� Well, not much-a somethin', anyway. But if I stick around, ain't gonna be nothin' worth bein' somethin', dig?"

"Not in the slightest. Go." Joxer gave the god he was coming to think of as a friend a gentle shove away from him. A look of slight relief splashed on Strife's face.

"Jox, yer a prince. I owe ya one." This time, Joxer could feel the prickly sensation of an arriving god dancing up his arms. "Maybe two."

"Y'know, you probably don't�"

"I know, I know," Strife was jittering back and forth from one foot to the other now. "I just� I can't." The look of genuine discomfort at having to discuss this was plain and Joxer decided to cut the other god a break.

"Go. I'll� cover for you or something." Joxer nudged at him to go and Strife didn't hesitate any longer, only his words of thanks lingering in the disappearing sparkles that Joxer was quick to wave away into nothing.

Strife was hardly gone a second when another flash of light deposited another god in Ares' main room. Fortunately, it wasn't a god bent on disemboweling the first person it came across. Joxer only wondered what Strife could have done to get on his cousin's bad side. Not that Cupid seemed upset, just perplexed. He looked around the room, his nose scrunching up in confusion. "Huh. Coulda swore�" Eventually, his eyes settled on Joxer and a smile broke out. Joxer still being there was a good sign on the 'Pops' front. "Heya, Jox. Things OK in these parts?"

"So far so good. You� looking for something?" Joxer was impressed with his own ability to bluff and hoped that Cupid didn't barge into his head to find out otherwise.

"Yeah, a big something. About my age, black leather� seen 'im?" Cupid was trying to sound casual, but Joxer could hear the note of concern in his voice. There was a brief expression of frustration and disappointment that flashed across the love god's face.

"He's not here, sorry." And he was, too. There was something banging around inside him begging to tell Cupid that Strife had just lit out of there like a cat with its tail on fire, but he'd promised Strife not to give him up, even if he had no idea where the mischief god had gone. "Something I can help with?"

A laugh sniffed out, not sounding very mirthful. "Depends. You good at riddles?" With a wave of his hand, Cupid brought forth a scroll that unrolled mid-air before Joxer.

Deliver me, Oh God of Love

From loneliness designed

Break down the walls that I've built up

My heart hid deep behind

Grace me with thine gentle touch

Lift me from this hole

Enfold me within happiness

And ease my wretched soul

"You sure this is from Strife?" Joxer re-read the scroll twice just to make sure he wasn't hallucinating or misreading it. Strife had left this? For Cupid?

"It's got his energy signature all over it," Cupid nodded. "And I'd know his handwriting anywhere. It looks like a spider fell into the ink and then danced across the paper. I just� want to know what he's up to, leaving this with my petitions."

"Oh." Joxer had a pretty good idea what Strife had been up to and why he'd taken off like Cerberus was on his tail. "Got me." When no lightning bolt flew in the window to get him, he guessed that lying to a god wasn't totally against the rules of the universe. "You know what he's like."

"Yeah�" Joxer's eyebrows lifted a little at the wistful sound of his words. "I know�" Cupid sighed hard, defeatedly. "OK, if you see him� tell him I need to see him pronto."

"Sure� but if you catch him yourself, he'll be less likely to bolt," Joxer's hand wasn't fast enough to clap over his mouth as something inside him compelled his voice to work without authorization.

Cupid's eyes rolled widely and he threw up his hands, starting to pace. His wings were twitching as well, fluttering with frustration. "I know, but he's got the shields up again. I can't even find him."

Joxer waited until he was sure he wasn't going to make any more unannounced statements and removed his hand only to hear his own voice chime in again. "Give him a day or two and he'll ease up. Then, you'll probably be able to sneak up on him and pin him down before he disappears again." *clap*

Cupid's eyes narrowed and he turned to Joxer, a thoughtful look on his face. "You mean, like an ambush?" Joxer didn't move his hand again in fear of what statement might come flying out next. He hadn't had any intention of helping Cupid out this much, but� it was almost as if he had no choice. In fact, he found his head nodding on its own accord in answer to Cupid's question. "He'll still bolt."

The corner of Cupid's mouth crept up as Joxer's hand flew off his mouth, the former mortal obviously trying to struggle against the force that moved it. "Hepheastean metal would keep him from transporting. A gauntlet, though. Manacles will only make him�"*clap* Joxer managed to work his other hand and cut himself off. He looked at Cupid with wide, nearly panicked eyes, only to find a warm smile returned to him.

"It's your godhood. It's trying to manifest itself, I think. You should talk to Pops about it. He'll give you a hand with control. Maybe Mom, too." The love god gave him a slap on the shoulder, gently joggling him. "Don't sweat it. I won't rat you out. You were really tryin' there."

"Thnx," Joxer mumbled through his hand, his voice a little shaky. Being controlled by some unseen force was an awful, creepy feeling, making panic race up and down every nerve he had. Which didn't flag under a suddenly sharp examining look from the Love God.

"Prob'ly a good idea to do it soon. Once you manifest, the cat'll be out of the bag, so to speak. C'mon. I gotta pick up Bliss from Mom's anyway. We'll let her take a look atcha."

Joxer nodded. That was probably the best idea. If stuff started happening, he wanted to at least have some kind of grip on things.

"Besides, that little flying monkey of mine keeps askin' about you, so�" Cupid's grin was that of an indulgent father much enamored with his 'flying monkey'. Joxer couldn't help but grin back at that. "Can you�?" Cupid twiddled his fingers in the air. "Or do you need me to�"

"I can try. But I can't promise accuracy." Joxer scrunched his eyes closed tight and pictured where he wanted to go, as Harmonia had told him to do, hoping that he wouldn't wind up somewhere that would get him good and zapped. He also hoped that Aphrodite wasn't having some kind of mid-morning orgy at her place. He wasn't entirely ready to drop in on that just yet.

"Just make it to Mom's. I'll hunt ya out from there if you get lost." And Cupid was gone in a sparkle unseen to Joxer's closed eyes.

Joxer groaned. 'Lost' had no attraction to it, even in the Halls of Love. And having never been there, he hoped for the best and pictured what he could in his mind before giving himself a shove and disappearing from the Halls of War.

-tbc-
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