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Der Meißel der Seele	By : Wertiyurae Category: G through L > Hogan's Heroes Views: 1600 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the television series that this fanfiction is written for, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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“So, it’s my turn now?” Klink asked, staring down at his cards with a slightly glazed look on his face.

“Yes, sir,” Hogan answered, leaning back in his chair and watching Klink try to sit up a little straighter on the couch. He seemed to be having a problem but Hogan had asked him before if he’d like help and Klink had told him ‘no’ with a faintly panicked expression. Hogan decided that he was better off just waiting in silence.

Finally, Klink resettled himself. His free hand absently strayed to a patch of red on his cheek that threatened to become a nasty bruise as he made his choice. “Do you have a five?”

Hogan glanced down to see what he was holding before shaking his head. “Go fish.”

Picking a card from the pile, Klink frowned. “This is a silly game.” He looked at Hogan, perplexed. “Why did I agree to play this with you?”

These were the first words the Kommandant had said to him that weren’t part of said game since they’d started and Hogan couldn’t deny feeling a little relieved. It had been a bit unsettling to have the usually loquacious man be so silent. He smiled encouragingly. “You said you wanted an easy game - they don’t get much easier than this.”

Klink pursed his lips but put the card into his hand. “I suppose. It’s your turn.”

“Do you have any queens?” Hogan watched Klink search blearily through his cards and let the smile fall away. Now that he was here with the Kommandant, he wasn’t sure what to do. He knew that it would be a bad idea to leave him alone but beyond that? Did he try to get him talking like Kinch told him he should do or was it too soon to try?

The truth was that Hogan wasn’t entirely certain how Klink would react anymore to what he said or did. Even if there was no pistol lying around this time, he didn’t want to set the Kommandant off again. That would be a bit counter productive and it had been very disturbing to see Klink that far over the edge - he didn’t need to see that again for a while.

More than ever, the Kommandant seemed fragile. The man was tense - even three sheets to the wind, he was tense! - and it was impossible not to notice the wary glances he got from him whenever he thought Hogan wasn’t paying attention. It was disheartening and more than a little frustrating because Hogan still didn’t know what he was so afraid of.

Whatever he ended up doing, he’d have to be careful – that much was obvious. Now, all he had to do was decide just what he was going to do.

Shoulders abruptly slumping, Klink pulled a card from his hand and tossed it down on the table. “There’s your queen.”

Hogan picked it up and matched it with the card in his own hand before setting both on his winnings pile. Obviously, if he wanted Klink to talk, it’d be up to him to get the ball rolling. It was a risk but Hogan was willing to take it - there were only so many hands of Fish he could play before he lost his mind.

He spared a thought to how prepared he was to hear whatever Klink might tell him and knew that he wasn’t in the least but he was at a loss as to what else he could do. It was a moot point anyway if he couldn’t get Klink to say something in the first place.

The important thing was to ease into the subject. If he tried pushing too hard, Klink would definitely clam up. That left the question of how exactly one eased into a subject like this. An idea came to him and he figured he had little to lose by trying.

“Hilda’s worried about you, sir.”

Klink looked up, pained. “You don’t think I know that?” He shook his head as if disgusted. “She shouldn’t worry on my account.”

Hogan quirked an eyebrow. “Seems to me she’s got a reason to worry.”

“I didn’t mean that,” Klink explained tiredly as he returned his gaze downwards. “I meant that I don’t deserve it.” He said it in such a matter of fact tone that it took Hogan a second to realize what an odd thing it was to say.

And it was an odd thing to say. Hogan could understand not wanting to be pitied but not wanting a pretty girl to be concerned for you? And why would Klink think he didn’t deserve it? He tilted his head. “Why not?”

For a long moment, Klink stared down blankly as if thinking, before shaking his head again. He glanced at Hogan with unconcealed annoyance. “Isn’t it still your turn?”

Giving his cards a quick scan, Hogan asked for deuces. As Klink carefully picked through his cards, Hogan decided to let his question go unanswered for the moment and try again. “She told me you’d had a bad morning.”

Either Klink was ignoring him or was very absorbed in his task. While the Kommandant had amassed quite the hand since they’d started this game and though he’d obviously had plenty to drink before hand, Hogan doubted the search could be that engrossing. If he was determined to ignore him, Hogan would just have to push a little harder.

“She told me that you just about gave poor Schultz a heart attack when he touched you to get you up.”

Only a slight shudder gave any indication that Klink was actually listening.

Hogan frowned. It was something but not what he wanted. He wanted Klink to talk and, technically, the man was still ignoring him. Well, if he had to start shoving, that didn’t bother him at all. “Kind of reminded me of how you were when I touched you last night.”

Klink’s cheeks flushed as his expression tightened. Then he sat up straighter and muttered “Go fish” through clenched teeth.

Drawing a card from the pile, Hogan put it in his hand without looking at it. He had more important, and interesting, things on his mind right now. Maybe it was time to stop pussy footing around. “But that wasn’t the most interesting thing she told me.”

Klink scowled but his voice was level when he spoke. “Do you have any tens?”

At any other time, Hogan might have appreciated the Kommandant’s single-mindedness. At the moment though, it was a little annoying and the man had to be crazy if he actually thought Hogan was going to look for any tens! “Don’t you want to know what she said?”

The Kommandant brought his head up to give Hogan a dirty look. “You’re just going to tell me no matter what I say, aren’t you?”

Hogan couldn’t keep the cheeky smile off his face. “What can I say, sir? I can’t keep a good bit of gossip to myself.”

Shaking his head, Klink sighed in defeat. “Fine. What did she say?”

While a part of Hogan felt a little guilty for what he was about to spring on the Kommandant, he knew that this would be the fastest way to get to the core of the matter. Maybe the fastest way wasn’t necessarily the best way, but he couldn’t see how else to do it. “You won’t believe this,” he started, making his tone light, “but she seems to think that General Adler’s done something to you.”

Klink blanched and his hold on the cards tightened enough to bend them. “Wh- what did she - How did -” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When his eyes opened again, his expression was calmer although the blood hadn’t returned to his face. “She needs to spend less time gossiping and more time working.” As if sensing that this wasn’t very convincing, he added: “She’s mistaken.”

If Hogan hadn’t already known Adler was involved, this answer would have convinced him - the Kommandant was a terrible liar and he had a lot to learn about hiding his emotions. “I don’t think she is.” Before Klink could deny it again, he pressed on. “‘I’ll be taking care of him soon enough. A couple shots ought to be enough to put him down, don’t you think?’” It was, admittedly, a low blow to use his own words against him but Hogan wasn’t above using the occasional sucker punch.

Klink’s ashen face managed to pale further. “I -I didn’t -”

“Don’t tell me you’re ready to kill someone who hasn’t done anything to you,” Hogan needled, not giving the Kommandant a chance to insult his intelligence.

“Please, Hogan,” Klink whispered, sounding desperate and looking brittle, “I can’t. I can’t discuss this with you.”

“Can’t? Or won’t?” Hogan set down his cards and leaned forward, showing Klink that he had his full attention.

“Both,” Klink answered, his voice filled with distress. “You don’t have any idea what you’re asking me.” He shook his head and suddenly seemed very old. “I don’t know why you’re acting like you care but I -” Cutting himself off, he shook his head again. “Why can’t you just leave well enough alone?”

“‘Well enough alone’?” Hogan repeated with some heat, feeling his earlier irritation returning despite his efforts to keep cool. “I don’t think that’s the phrase I’d use for this situation.” When Klink made no move to speak, he felt his temper rise even higher. Was Klink really that bound and determined to be obstinate? Was he really that eager to throw his life away? “For God’s sake, Klink, you told me you were going to kill yourself! Do you want to die?”

“Of course not!” Klink snapped, his eyes wet with unshed tears. “But I don’t have a choice.”

Hogan could not believe his ears. “What do you mean you don’t have a choice? There’s always a choice!” It was only after he’d said this that he realized it was probably the wrong thing to say to a man in Klink’s position. For him, there had only been two choices; Hogan could grudgingly admit that now. What he couldn’t understand was why the man was so set on death when he’d picked life before. What had changed?

Klink’s answering laughter was harsh and hollow. “Really? Is that what you think?” He grinned but there was nothing mirthful in the expression. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Then explain it to me.” Hogan was very careful not to make this sound like a demand. He sensed that he was on the verge of a break through and pushing too hard now would cost him. “It might make you feel better to get it all off your chest.”

Tears dripped down Klink’s face but he didn’t appear to notice them. “Since when do you care about how I feel?” Despite the angry words, he sounded plaintive. “You keep saying you don’t want me to die but I don’t understand why it should make any difference to you.” He didn’t quite smile. “You don’t even like me.”

Hogan frowned and tried very hard not to take the affront to his character personally. “Sir, I’d have to hate you a lot not to give a damn that you’re planning to off yourself and I don’t hate you that much.” He narrowed his eyes, feeling annoyed all over again for having to repeat himself. “If I say I don’t want you to die, I mean it.” Shaking his head, he couldn’t keep himself from adding: “You must have such a high opinion of me to think I’d lie about something like this.”

“I didn’t realize my opinion meant anything to you, Colonel,” Klink retorted mildly, wiping his face with the back of his free hand. Before Hogan could reply, his expression shifted into a mixture of melancholy and bitterness. “I’m afraid that I am not feeling very trusting these days.” He huffed a little chuckle. “Of course, I’m not sure why I ever trust you. I should know by now that you’re inherently untrustworthy.”

Making an outraged face, Hogan wasn’t able to summon any actual outrage. Klink had no way of knowing just how many times Hogan had pulled his fat out of the fire. “Now, that really hurts, sir. I’ll have you know -”

“I just don’t understand why you’re here,” Klink murmured in a drowsy whine. “All I can think is that, that you’re getting something. If I live you’re getting something.” He shook his head. “Not that I can see what you could possibly be getting out of this. But if that’s not it, why do you care? You’ve never shown me any real concern before.” Concentrating on Hogan, his watery eyes were pleading. “I just want to know the truth - is that too much to ask for?”

Maybe not too much but it was a lot. Never mind that honesty was something he liked to use sparingly with the Kommandant, Hogan wasn’t sure if he could put his reasons for wanting Klink to live into words. Truth be told, he hadn’t given much thought to any particular reasons he had. Much like his decision to keep the Klink business from the men, trying to keep Klink from killing himself seemed like a natural choice.

When a man’s out on a window ledge, isn’t it everyone’s first impulse to bring him back in?

No. Hogan wasn’t naive enough to believe that it was but he was still idealistic enough to believe that it ought to be.

He was also a little surprised by Klink’s insight. Yes, he was getting something out of this; preserving enemies just because wasn’t what his organization was all about. As much as Klink seemed to forget it from time to time, they were still on opposite sides. If he was going to be completely truthful, saving the Kommandant was a means to an end. A worthwhile end, to be sure, but an end nonetheless.

Dim as Klink was at times, clearly, he could be more perceptive than Hogan had given him credit for.

“Just go away.” The Kommandant’s command lacked the snap of an actual order, making him sound more like a petulant child than a Colonel. “I’m done playing these games with you.” As he spoke, he piled up his cards and carefully set them on the table. From the look on his face, Hogan understood that Fish wasn’t the only game he was done playing.

Hogan was getting a little tired of the games himself. How many times would he and Klink have to have this exchange? “Sir, -”

“I’m still speaking English, aren’t I?” Klink pushed himself up and swayed, looking equal parts tired and angry. “I don’t care where you go or what you do as long as you are somewhere else.” He pointed a trembling finger at the door. “Now, leave.”

Standing, Hogan was determined to give this one last try. “Before I do that, can I just say one thing?”

Klink’s arm fell back against his side and he glared. “Why bother asking me? You always seem to do whatever it is you please anyway.”

Probably as close to a yes as he could expect to get. While Hogan was uncomfortable with the idea of being honest with the Kommandant, he decided, considering what he wanted Klink to share with him, it was only fair to give him a little honesty in return. If he could do that, preferably without embarrassing himself or sharing too much, he might be able to salvage this.

As he couldn’t claim any overtones of friendship (Klink would think he was lying and he wouldn’t be wrong to think so), he figured there was little harm in confirming the Kommandant’s suspicion that Hogan was indeed ‘getting something’. It would be honest and it would keep this on a professional level - both very big pluses in Hogan’s mind.

“Okay, you’ve got me. I do want something out of this.”

Horror flickered across Klink’s face and he half shook his head. “Wh-what do you want?”

Hogan frowned, wondering what part of what he’d said warranted that sort of reaction. “I can’t go into any details,” he noticed Klink’s glare making a return appearance and pressed on, “but let it suffice to say that, if you were no longer Kommandant of Stalag 13, it would make things difficult for me.”

Klink’s glare became a look of narrow eyed mystification and Hogan wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not. “The point is,” he continued, “I’d like to keep you around. So, if there’s something I can do to make that happen, I’d like to help.”

“Keep me around?” Klink shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself, looking ill. Then shook his head sharply and, when he focused on Hogan again, he seemed very tired. “Let me see if I understand. You want to help me because my death would be inconvenient for you?” His tone was incredulous with a hint of something Hogan couldn’t quite place. “That’s why you’re here now?”

Hogan didn’t wince but it was a close thing. When Klink put it so bluntly, it really did sound terrible. He was concerned with Klink’s welfare because he’d be inconvenienced?

Well, he’d never claimed to be a saint, had he? He’d never claimed to be the great humanitarian! The Kommandant was not his friend; he was just useful sometimes and that was all. Let Kinch be a bleeding heart if he wanted to. Unlike some people around this place, Hogan couldn’t afford to be so sentimental - he had a job to do here. That job didn’t include coddling Klink.

“Is that it?”

And what right did that man have to sound so, so damn disappointed in him? He wasn’t the one who’d agreed to be Adler’s whore. He wasn’t the one who’d been too cowardly to fight back. He wasn’t the one who was trying to take the easy way out now! That damn -

Seeing the other man’s face pale once again, Hogan realized that his fists were clenched. He forced himself to calm down. It wasn’t Klink’s fault that what he’d said hadn’t painted him in a very flattering light. It bothered him - perhaps, he ought to be grateful it bothered him so much - but it wasn’t anything he could pin on the Kommandant. Hogan wasn’t usually one to blame others for his own failings anyway - he was a doer!

If he didn’t want to think that he was the kind of man he’d just made himself out to be (and he really didn’t think that he was), it was up to him to do something about it. And, frustratingly enough, now that he was giving it some thought, he wasn’t sure just how much truth was in what he’d just said.

For the moment though, he had no choice but to finish what he’d started here. Klink, who’s expression was an interesting combination of terror and disappointment, was still waiting for an answer. Hogan owed him that much even if he wasn’t sure that he was actually telling the truth. “For the most part,” Hogan said at last, not having to manufacture the self depreciation in his tone. He shrugged apologetically. “Doesn’t say much for me, does it?”

A ghost of a smile touched Klink’s mouth. “Not really,” he agreed. Then the ghost faded and he looked merely sad. “At least now I know where I stand with you.”

Hogan wished he could say the same (wondering at the same time just where the Kommandant thought he stood) but he kept the thoughts to himself. If he was going to be honest again, he wanted to make sure he actually knew what the truth was before opening his mouth. Besides, there was such a thing as too much honesty. Which was an interesting thing to think considering what he was going to say. “Well, sir, I always say honesty is the best policy,” he declared as he retook his seat.

That earned him a startled chuckle. “You? I find that very hard to believe.” Klink sat down slowly and winced when he came to rest on the couch.

“I’ll have you know that I’m a paragon of virtue.” He’d considered asking the obvious question before deciding that the answer was equally obvious. “So, what is going on, Kommandant?”

Klink sighed and resettled his monocle. “I can’t tell you.”

“Why can’t you?” Hogan prodded gently, knowing that he had to be extra careful now. He was loath to lose what little ground he’d gained so quickly.

“I just can’t,” Klink said, gathering up the cards he’d set down earlier.

“Klink?” When Hogan got his attention, he took a deep breath and used his most reasonable voice. “I know I’m probably not your first choice for confidant but I’m better than nothing.”

Klink considered him for a long moment before giving him a weak smile. “Even if I wanted to tell you, which I don’t, but if I did, I wouldn’t want to discuss it like this anyway. If I was going to talk about this, I’d want to be sober.” Faint amusement shown in his eyes and he spoke with a mock reproachful tone. “It’s not fair to take advantage of someone when they’re drunk, Colonel Hogan.”

Fairness was a vague term. Perhaps it wouldn’t be fair but that wouldn’t keep Hogan from giving it a shot. Even if it didn’t work, it might get his foot in the door for the next time he had a chance to chat with the Kommandant. “I’ll hold you to that, sir,” he said gravely as he picked up his own cards again.

“Hmm?” Klink blinked muzzily. “Hold me to what?”

“That you’ll tell me what this is all about when you’re sober.” Shrugging, Hogan rearranged his cards. “I’m willing to wait until tomorrow.”

Looking out of the corner of his eye as he pretended to gaze intently at his cards, he watched Klink open and close his mouth like a gasping trout. “But - But I -”

Hogan shook his head with disapproval, refusing to feel the slightest bit guilty for trying to pull the wool over the Kommandant’s eyes. It wasn’t the first time he’d done so and this was for the man’s own good besides. “Now, sir, a promise is a promise.”

“B-but I didn’t make any promises!” Klink finally exclaimed, waving his free hand in agitation. His tone was certain but his eyes showed a hint of doubt.

Hogan seized on it. “Yes, you did,” he lied, running a finger over the tops of his cards. “I remember distinctly: ‘I’ll discuss it with you when I’m sober; I promise’.” Glancing up, he made a concerned face. “You haven’t forgotten already, have you, Kommandant?”

Something like desperation rippled across Klink’s features. His lips moved slightly as he blinked and frowned. After what seemed like a long spell of this, the other man slowly shook his head, his brow furrowed with worry and uncertainty. “No. I- I haven’t forgotten.”

“You’re not planning to go back on your word, are you?” Hogan knew that he was laying this on a bit thick but he hoped that, if he really cemented this in Klink’s mind, the Kommandant wouldn’t figure out that he’d been tricked. Whether or not this worked depended on a lot of things that Hogan had no control over but he was determined to do his part.

“I, ah, I- I guess not.” Klink still seemed to have lingering doubts but he shrugged helplessly. “A promise is a promise, I suppose.” He grimaced as he stared down at his cards. “I’m sure there’s no way you can think any less of me than I do.”

This last was spoken so softly that Hogan doubted he’d been meant to hear it. Still, it seemed like a strange thing for him to say and Hogan filed it away to discuss with Kinch later. At the moment, even if he was going to wait before trying to get Klink to talk to him about Adler, he still had to make sure the man didn’t do anything permanent in the meantime.

After scanning his cards, Hogan picked out the ten of clubs and set it on the table. “It’s your turn.”
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When Klink had begged exhaustion an hour or so later, Hogan left without argument. Considering the fact that he’d dozed off four times during their last game, he’d felt confident that the Kommandant’s claim of just wanting some sleep was genuine. The man certainly looked like he could use some.

Closing the quarter’s door behind him, Hogan’s eyes swept around the office. He noticed the broken picture frames on the floor but let his eyes pass over them without a pause. He was looking for something else and, after another second or two, he found what he was looking for. Regarding it for a long moment, he came to a decision. Another temporary fix but it was all he could do about that problem until tomorrow.

Once he’d finished taking care of that, he walked out of the office and was glad to see that Hilda was too busy filing things to notice he’d opened the door. He wasn’t interested in explaining how his ‘it’ll only take a couple minutes, I swear’ meeting with the Kommandant had lasted almost two hours. Carefully, calling on all of his stealth, he snuck passed her and exited the office building.

Out in the compound, he let himself breathe out a long sigh and relax. There wasn’t much time to relax, however, because he knew he still had to brief the men. He’d waited too long to do so already and waiting any longer would just make things more difficult. Hogan only hoped, as he made his way to Barracks Two, that they wouldn’t make him wish that he was still in Klink’s quarters playing Fish.
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Der Meißel der Seele