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Time	By : cr8zymommy Category: 1 through F > Criminal Minds Views: 4586 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story

Chapter List
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Getting Spencer home and into bed had been easy. The younger man had been mostly asleep by the time they arrived so it had only been a matter of getting him into the house and to the bed. Morgan made it simple by carrying him once again. When he came in the door, Clooney instantly was at his feet, nosing at Spencer’s feet and whining. Morgan shushed him while shutting the door. The dog followed them down to the bedroom and, once Morgan had set Spencer on the bed, Clooney had hopped up with him and curled against his stomach. To make his friend more comfortable, Morgan moved the two on the bed long enough to get Spencer out of his shirt and his slacks, leaving him in only his boxers. It was worth it when he saw more of Spencer’s tension drain away.
It made Morgan smile when Spencer brought his arm out, wrapping it around the dog before he buried his face in the back of Clooney’s neck. He couldn’t resist pulling out his cell phone and snapping a quick picture of the two. He sent it off to each member of the team with a message that said ‘We’re home now and he’s resting. Told u Clooney liked him!’
He leaned over the bed, smoothing some hair back from Spencer’s face. “Spencer, sugar, I’m going to head out to the living room and make a few calls, ok? I’ll leave the bedroom door open so you just give a shout if you need me.”
“Is Clooney staying?” Spencer mumbled. He sounded like he was barely even awake anymore.
This time Morgan’s smile was wider. Something unfurled in his chest, something he didn’t have a name for. “Yeah, kid. He can stay.” He said gently.
“Thanks.”
Before Morgan was out the door, Spencer was asleep again. By the time Morgan reached his kitchen, his phone was making noises to alert him to the incoming messages. The first one, of course, was from Garcia. ‘Aww, look at that sweetness! He looks so cute!’
The next was JJ. ‘How adorable! Thanks, Morgan!’
Emily. ‘He looks peaceful. Guess the Reid effect doesn’t work with your dog, eh? He’s as abnormal as his owner!’
Dave. ‘Thanks, kiddo. Good to know he’s relaxing.’
Finally, Aaron. ‘Call me when you get a chance.’
Huh. That sounded great, didn’t it? While Morgan set about making a pot of coffee, he dialed Aaron’s number, cradling the phone to his ear while he poured water into the machine. After a few rings, Aaron was on the phone. “That was fast, Morgan.”
“Yeah, well, he’s knocked out now. What’s up, Hotch? Something happen?”
“I heard there was some kind of incident downstairs when you guys left and I wanted to know what happened. I haven’t been able to get an accurate report.”
Thankfully he’d finished prepping the coffee pot when Aaron asked that or he might have been tempted to slam the pot down. He felt the same anger that had been there before, demanding he deck the stupid idiot Niall. “Ugh. We ran into that idiot, Niall, from counterterrorism. The one who always hit on Reid, you know.”
“What did he do?” A hard tone had entered Aaron’s voice.
In short sentences, Morgan summed up what had happened. He stared out the window as he spoke, trying to keep his temper under control. When he was done reporting, his temper kicked in a little more. “Hotch, I swear, that bastard better not come near me after this. He had to see that he was freaking Spencer out but he just didn’t seem to give a damn. Even when the kid was on the floor, he still didn’t give a damn! And not a single person down there came over to try and help get him away!”
“Let me handle it.”
If anything, Aaron’s voice was even harder than before. For a split second, Morgan almost felt sorry for Niall. Almost. Not only did the idiot mess with someone on Aaron’s team, but he messed with the baby of the team. Worse than that, he messed with a hurt an scared Spencer that they’d just brought back home. All of them were already overprotective of the kid to begin with; it was ten times worse now. “He’s all yours, boss.” He said with a low chuckle. Whatever Aaron did, the guy deserved it.
“How’s he doing now? Sleeping, obviously. That was a nice picture by the way.”
Morgan moved to pour himself a cup of the finished coffee. “Couldn’t resist snapping it. You should have seen Clooney when we came in. Man, when I took Spencer out of his day clothes, I thought Clooney was going to start growling at me if I didn’t set him back down soon. My own dog, protective of Spencer even against me!”
“I think it’s safe to say the Reid-effect isn’t as strong anymore.” Aaron joked. It was wonderful to hear that joking tone in his boss’s voice; that had been absent for far too long. Spencer brought the best out in people, it seemed.
“Funny, that’s about what Prentiss said.”
“So are you two just going to stick around the house today? I thought maybe tomorrow morning I’d stop by if it was ok. It’s Saturday, so I won’t be doing anything. I can stay as long as he’s up for visiting.”
A thought struck Morgan. He sipped off his coffee, rolling it over in his mind. “He gets a little scared around you guys.” He started out slowly, trying to form his thoughts into words. “But at the same time, he seems to want you guys here. Like he can’t quite make up his mind. I think he’s trying to force himself to start to relax. It would probably do him good to see you. Maybe on your own, though. I think if we keep the visits one on one for the most part, he’ll start to adjust a little more.”
“Seems like a sound plan to me. I know the girls are having a hard time staying away, but they’re trying to respect his privacy. All of us just need to learn that he’s home and he’s not going to disappear on us again. It’ll take time.”
“You aren’t the only ones. I’m with him all day and I still feel like, if I turn my back for a minute he’s going to vanish on me. I don’t think I could handle that again, Hotch.” This was the closest Morgan had ever come to admitting to anyone how strongly he felt about all this. But it seemed right at the moment. Standing in his kitchen, leaning against the counter with his cup of coffee while Spencer slept safely guarded by the dog, his boss and friend on the phone, it just seemed relaxed enough for him to let down his walls. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to him now that we’ve got him home.”
“It hit you hardest out of all of us, Morgan. He’s always meant a lot to you. Right now, he’s not the only one that’s clinging. You are too. That’s ok, though. Right now it’s what the two of you need; to cling to one another and reassure each other that you’re there.”
“He’s just…he’s been through so much, Hotch. I look at him and I see all the marks. Not just the new ones, but the old ones too. The scars. On his hip he’s got this scar that looks like a burn, almost the size of my palm. Then all these long ones that look like they came from a knife.” A ragged breath tore out of Morgan, full of emotion. “I hate seeing how badly he was hurt. I hate seeing that and feeling all over again like I failed him.”
There it was, the poisonous little thought that he hadn’t been allowing himself to think on. He had failed his best friend. Someone he had come to realize meant more to him than anyone else in his life. When Spencer had needed him the most, he hadn’t been there for him.
“I, I don’t know why he trusts me. How can he look at me and not hate me for not being there when he needed me? Almost two years that bastard had him! I look at how broken he is, inside and out, and I just, the guilt eats at me, man. It rips me apart. I should have been there for him! I should have done something!”
For a long moment Aaron was quiet, letting Morgan rant, letting him get it out of his system. When Morgan was finally done, Aaron let the silence stretch on a moment longer. Then he finally spoke.
“Do you blame the rest of us for this too, Morgan?” he asked.
Surprise had Morgan setting his cup down before he dropped it. “No!”
“We should have been there, too. We should have known he was gone before we did. We should have found him sooner. Then, in the end, we weren’t even the ones to find him. He was found by luck. As team leader, I should have found my missing agent a long time ago. Do you blame me for not finding him?”
“No!”
“Then how can you blame yourself? We did everything we could. None of us stopped looking for him. I know for a fact you and Garcia worked on it off the clock. You did everything in your power to help him.”
Sighing, Morgan closed his eyes and took a ragged breath. “But it wasn’t enough.”
“I’ll tell you something Gideon told me once, Morgan. You can sit and second guess yourself. You can look at everything you did and see all the ways you could have done something different to make the outcome better. You can beat yourself up until the guilt eats you alive. But does it change anything? No. Does it make the results any different? No. All it does is deprive you of the current moment.”
That sounded just like Gideon. “How can I stop from feeling that way, though?”
“You focus on the now. Reid’s home now. He’s right there in your house, in your bed, healing. You can sit around and focus on what you should have done and all that you lost, or you can embrace what you have now and focus on what you can do. All that guilt won’t help Reid heal now. Instead of thinking about what you should have done, focus on what you’re going to do. Focus on the now. He needs you like he’s never needed anyone. Are you going to wallow or are you going to step up and help him put the pieces back together?”
The words struck a place inside of Morgan. There was truth to them that he’d already known, but seemed more powerful coming from a friend. “Thanks, Hotch.” He said, smiling just a little. There was no one who could put things into perspective quite like Aaron could. He wasn’t just their leader; he was like the father of the group. He was always there to listen and to help, no matter what was going on. And his advice had never failed. “I already knew that, but I think I just needed to hear it from someone else.”
“Anytime, Morgan.” Aaron’s smile was evident in his voice. “That’s what family does, you know.”
“Aint that the truth.” Feeling immensely better, Morgan shifted the topic while he picked his cup back up. “Hey, Spencer wanted to go see Cindy today, but I think I’m going to hold that off until tomorrow. He needs to relax today after what happened. Do you think you’d mind coming with us? Just in case being out in public like that gets to him too much?”
“Of course. What time do you want to head out?”
“Oh, around ten I think. Afterward I thought we could hit somewhere to eat. We were going to today, but, well, you know how that went down. I was going to let him pick where to go and he got real excited about it, so I want to do that tomorrow. He isn’t accustomed to making his own choices anymore and I’m trying to help him gain that back a little. Seeing her is the first thing he’s really asked me for.”
“It’s a good plan, Morgan. I’ll show up about a quarter to ten. Like I said, my days free, so it doesn’t matter what we do.”
“Thanks, Hotch.” He said once again. The two wrapped up their conversation and Morgan pocketed his cell phone once again. Talking with Aaron had helped quite a bit. He wasn’t feeling perfect now, but he was feeling quite a bit better. Hotch was right. The past isn’t the important part. What’s important is helping Spencer heal. I’m going to do everything I can to help him. He thought to himself.
As he took another drink of his coffee, a low sound from the bedroom caught his attention. He didn’t hesitate to set his cup down and hurry down the hallway. The closer he got, the louder the sounds were. Immediately he knew what it was. Spencer was having a nightmare.
When he hit the bedroom, Clooney was standing on the bed, nudging a thrashing Spencer with his nose and whining. Morgan hurried forward and sat down on Spencer’s other side, reaching out to the young man. “Spencer. Spencer!” he called out. “It’s just a dream, sugar. Come on, wake up. It’s just a dream.”
The instant his hands touched Spencer’s shoulders, his eyes shot open wide, looking wildly around the room. When they landed on Morgan, he let out a sound halfway between a moan and a sob and practically dove into Morgan’s embrace. Morgan held him tight, stroking his hair and whispering soothingly to him while the broken man sobbed. Yes, Aaron was right. They couldn’t change what had happened before, but he sure as hell could be here now. And he was going to be, no matter what.
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