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Darkest Nights	By : Bucken-Berry Category: G through L > Law & Order Views: 1449 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or it's characters and I'm not making money from this.

Chapter List
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George wanted to back out the instant he saw Keyes. Every sound, every sight, every emotion that he'd experienced while being tortured came back to him in one moment. His breath hitched in his throat.
"Hello, doc. You're looking well," Keyes said with a hint of sarcasm. George took a deep breath and walked all the way in with trembling steps.
"What do you want from me?" he asked in the steadiest voice he could manage.
"I want to talk. Isn't that what you shrinks are all about?" Keyes quizzed.
"What do you want to talk about, then?" George asked nervously.
"Do you remember the first time you evaluated me?" Keyes asked.
"Actually, no. I do remember you, but I've done too many evaluations to remember the individual sessions," George said truthfully.
"I remember. You got me committed… you were in control for a while, but I reversed our roles nicely."
"So that's what this is about?" George asked angrily. "You felt powerless so you decided to abduct, drug, torture, rape, and almost kill me?"
"Essentially. What were you feeling, by the way, when I was torturing you?" Keyes asked.
"How do you think I felt?" George retorted.
"I know already, but I want you to tell me- I want it to come from you," Keyes replied.
"Pain, mostly," he replied. He looked at the window. "How much longer?" he asked himself silently.
Keyes gave a dramatic sigh. "Once a shrink, always a shrink. You're trying to act stoic… but you aren't. I can tell everything you're feeling. Pain, depression, anger, guilt, self-hatred... You feel like you deserve this- and you do- and it's making you hate yourself. Really, after a while, you're going to do more to yourself mentally than we did. If your self-castigation isn't severe now, it will be soon, I'm sure of it."
"Ah, so that's what you're trying to do; I wondered what you'd try to do as your parting blow. I can't believe you chose to try and make me hate myself, though; it's such a useless thing to do. You're pathetic," George scoffed. He was pleased that he was managing to lie about his feelings to the person who'd made him the most vulnerable. He hoped Keyes would never know that he was right about George's thoughts and emotions.
"You're right, it is useless. But not for the reason you're trying to pass it off as. It's useless because it's already been done- you already despise yourself. In any case, I'm still above you," Keyes replied. "Everyone is, really. You were more resilient than the others, but that was only because you dreamed about Elliot. Without him, you would have been begging to die almost immediately."
"So? Just because he's what gave me drive doesn't mean I'm weak," George retorted.
"If you weren't then, you are now," Keyes said. "It's nice to see that you're not acting like a superior shrink anymore."
"Whether I was or not, now you're acting superior," George pointed out. He took in a deep, steadying breath. He didn't think he could keep it together for much longer. The walls seemed to be closing in on him and his heart was hammering against his ribs.
"I like this, though. I like that you're so helpless."
"I wouldn't call myself helpless," George corrected him. He looked at the window again. Elliot was probably ready to kill by now. Part of him wished Elliot would come bursting through the doors and guide him out, make sure he was safe. Elliot's big, muscular arms… he shook the thought out of his head when Keyes started speaking.
"Elliot sure had me convinced. The way he protected you- you would think you were one of his children! What exactly is your relationship now?"
"We've become close friends. The emotions associated with the near loss made him realize he wanted to be me friend."
"I agree with everything you said there, doc, but replace 'friend' with 'lover'," Keyes said bluntly.
George sucked in a breath. He hated the way people with these kinds of personality disorders were so good at reading emotions. "You're free to think how you want to," he said simply.
"How do you think Elliot would have reacted if you had died?" Keyes asked nonchalantly.
"You'd have to ask him yourself," George said, trying to calm himself. He knew Keyes was just trying to make him feel afraid, but the fact that it was his goal didn't reduce the fear that was sending shivers down his spine. He wanted so badly to leave, but he made himself stay. He couldn't let another victim go through what he had.
"I suppose he would have been upset- he cares about you. I can't figure out why he does, though," Keyes said.
"Elliot gets angry often, but he's a caring person," George replied.
"I know; I just don't see why he, or anyone else, would care about you. With all your flaws…"
"You aren't going to succeed in making me hate myself," George informed him.
"You're right; I'm not, because, again, you already do. I can tell everything you're feeling. You hate me, but you hate yourself more. You're terrified, and you're depressed. You want to die." George took a shaky breath but didn't reply. Keyes continued anyway. "Want to know what we would have done if we hadn't let you go?"
"Not really. I'd rather you just tell me who the others are so I can leave," George said honestly.
Keyes shrugged and spoke like he didn't care what George had said. "We would have waited until you'd begged to die; we would have slowed the cuts and burns and shifted to psychological tactics like mock executions. And we still wouldn't have killed you once you begged. We would have made it your deepest desire to die, but you would never have gotten it. Then we would have left you and made sure you were found, but you would never have recovered."
"Good thing that didn't happen, then," George said, feigning a lack of interest. "So who are the other rapist/murderers?"
"I'm not ready yet."
"What else?" George asked tiredly.
"You still haven't answered my first question. What went through your mind when I tortured you?"
George hid his hands in his pockets so no one would see them shaking. He closed his eyes in weariness and leaned against the wall as his knees weakened. "Pain, mostly," he repeated.
"Don't you remember everything else? Or do you need me to remind you? I put the gun against your head and forced you into the van. You were so afraid… and then we all took a turn with you when you were in the car…"
"Stop," George ordered. He felt his blood run cold.
"Then we made you pass out with the chloroform and waited for you to wake up. Despite all your other flaws, you do have a nice body."
"I said stop." Fear leaked into his voice and, judging from the pleased look on Keyes's face, the terror was evident on his face as well. Not a good sign; he was losing the miniscule amount of control he'd had over the situation.
"And then we cut you. It was like being the first to walk on a patch of snow; a sense of pride at being the first to shape it. I was the first to make you scream like that. I can still hear it… such a beautiful sound."
"Stop," George hissed. His breath rushed in and out of his chest and his heart was beating against his chest so fast and hard that it almost hurt. This had to be what a heart attack felt like.
"Did you ever think about what your funeral would be like, while we were torturing you?" Keyes asked.
"No," George lied, not wanting to remember the thoughts he'd had during his panic attack. He wouldn't give Keyes the satisfaction of knowing that he had taken George's greatest fear and made him desire it as much as he feared it.
"I can tell you're lying," Keyes informed him.
"Well, I'm recovering," George said, faking a sense of confidence. God, he was stupid for doing this...
"Well, you have a long way to go," Keyes said with a laugh.
"Maybe so, but I'm not letting you win. I'm rebuilding my life."
"Really, now? Then tell me what progress you've made so far," Keyes requested.
"Come on. Do you really think I'd give you the intimate details of my psychotherapy sessions? Use your imagination," George said with an equal measure of lethargy and scorn.
"Okay, I will. My guess is that at first you wouldn't talk at all… then you opened up once your lover was with you. But you backslid once they found me, and you blame yourself- again, you should- and you're growing depressed again, and you're showing symptoms of PTSD. I bet it's only a matter of time before you're put on medication."
"Huh. Well, it's not like it would be the end of the world," George said with a shrug.
"Are you surprised about this?" Keyes asked.
"I expected all this," George lied.
"Well, the only thing I'm surprised about is that you aren't twisting as much as I thought you would be. That won't work; I want you completely, hopelessly broken," Keyes hissed. George's eyes widened as he realized what Keyes's intention was. Adrenaline flooded his veins, but it didn't help; it was too late.
Keyes lunged at him, and his defenses were too worn down to let him react. He didn't have a chance to fight back or get away before Keyes collided with him.
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Darkest Nights