The Trade Off | By : LotornoMiko Category: M through R > Once Upon A Time Views: 5409 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own the Once Upon A Time fandom. Nor do I make any money off of it or this story. |
There was the sound of a great many fabrics rustling, and a softer thump of the clothing falling to the floor. Belle just barely avoided trampling over them with her own feet, her friend Ruby seeming uncaring of the potential for damage as she forcibly dragged the woman to another part of the store. Ruby’s nails dug just a little too harshly into Belle’s skin, the woman gripping her harder as though she feared and would tolerate no resistance from the brown haired beauty. Belle was more startled than anything by this, thinking Ruby overreacted a little too much, but then she also didn't know just what the town’s gossips might have been saying. What sort of stories they might have been spinning, or just how much Hook and Belle’s about town dealings might have been embellished. Belle knew she hadn't done anything wrong, or even that worthy of noting, but the fact remained that she was being seen about town with another man. A known and unreformed, unrepentant pirate who had had dealings with many people long before the curse had hit, and sent everyone to this modern realm.
More than that, she was keenly aware of how a full week had not even passed. It was fact that it was only a handful of days since that scene with Rumplestiltskin and Ruby, Belle remembering the humiliation of his public rejection and dismissal, and how it had sent her spiraling into a kind of suicidal depression. That depression had never left her, though it had fluctuated in levels of the intensity in which it had struck at her. Even now she felt it, like a great wave preparing to crash into her, Belle’s dismay over how the townspeople were probably piecing together a guess as to what had happened between Belle and Rumple, and how the new man, Hook, played a part in that drama.
Her expression took on a shifty, haunted look, Belle’s eyes colored a downcast blue. She felt like a fool, a needy, useless twit who was only making her situation and reputation worse by being seen with Hook. She should have never agreed to go out with him, Belle should have been content to wallow in the misery that was her life. Only that kind of torture and self pity, wouldn't have helped her with own self appointed goal. A goal she had made no real inroads in, Belle having wasted time and ample opportunity towards dredging up the truth about Cora from Hook.
They were almost on the other side of the store, far enough from the pirate and many of the other women shopping, so that Ruby could heatedly hiss in a whisper at Belle without fear of anyone eavesdropping. The tight line of her mouth as she spoke, would make it difficult to lip read the dark haired woman, but her agitation was apparent in the way that Ruby kept wildly moving and waving her hands about.
“What are you doing?” Ruby demanded, and Belle couldn't help but flinch at the soft snarl of the woman’s voice. She wasn't used to Ruby directing such anger towards her, and Belle’s self pity and depression was such that it made it difficult to properly go on the defensive. “Why are you traipsing around town with him?!”
Belle merely shrugged, unable to put into words an excuse. She was reeling, sadness and guilt tearing away at her, Belle cornered and with no real results to show for it.
Something in the way that she held herself, and the tortured expression that Belle wore, tempered the worst of Ruby’s anger. The wolf would actually soften her own fierce expression, and start to gently cup the side of Belle’s face.
“Hey.” She said, her whisper no longer so furious. “I'm just worried about you. I haven't heard from you in days, and now it’s all anyone could talk about. You and that pirate walking hand in hand about town!”
“I'm...I'm sorry.” Belle whispered. “I haven't been able to get away, not without rousing Hook’s suspicions.”
“To hell with him!” Ruby stated bluntly. “If you want to leave, LEAVE.” Her finger touched on Belle’s lips, shushing the words Belle was about to protest with. “You don't have to do this. You don't have to...to be with him to help us against Cora. And you don't have to stay out of some twisted obligation to honor the deal he FORCED you into.”
“It’s not as bad as that...” Belle finally said, when Ruby’s hand dropped from her face. The wolf’s eyes flashed in response, a clear cut signal of her agitation sparking in response to what Belle had just said.
“Not so bad?!” She gestured wildly, her voice a little louder before she dropped it down to a soft hiss. “He made you sleep with him!”
“He offered the deal….I was the one who chose to accept it.” Belle then shook her head, catching at Ruby’s flailing right hand. “Ruby...I'm fine. Really.” The wolfish woman stared searchingly into Belle’s eyes.
“No you're not.” She said at last. “Anyone with half a brain can see that you're hurting.”
“I am.,” Belle acknowledged with a sad twist of her lips. “But I am coping as best I can. And Hook….well the pirate has been...behaving more or less.” She shifted nervously, as Ruby gave her a disbelieving look. “He’s almost, ALMOST respecting my wishes on this, not forcing me to honor the deal and sleep with him.”
“I don't believe it. I can't!” Ruby protested vehemently. “That lecherous snake can no more keep his hand to himself, than a leopard can change it’s spots!”
“You'd be surprised.” Belle said mildly, choosing to not reveal that Hook did in fact keep trying to touch her, and to seduce her. He wanted her submission, wanted the woman to give in to him on this, but Belle also noted how he had backed off somewhat when the brown haired beauty had worked the deal to her favor. They hadn't had sex since, though the tension remained. More than once had Belle caught Hook touching and caressing on her, while she pretended to still be asleep.
She shared none of this with Ruby, knowing the wolf was likely to go into a feral rage and attack Hook for his daring. “Anyway...” She chose to try to change the subject, although easing into something else wasn't exactly an effortless endeavor. “I'm sorry I haven't been able to contact you. The pirate’s ship isn't exactly equipped for modern technologies, and the battery life on my cell has long since run out….”
She hesitated, then actually let go of Ruby's hand, to fidget her own fingers together. The dark haired woman placed a hand over Belle’s, trying to stop the worst of that nervous play of fingers. “Besides...there hasn't been much point.”
“Not much point?!” Ruby was more than a little aghast and outraged at that. “Belle….you...”
“I'm not trying to isolate myself from you!” She quickly interrupted. “It’s just...I haven't been exactly successful in finding out anything useful about the witch….” Belle sighed. “I am a failure in even that.”
“You are NOT a failure!” Ruby protested. “Information just takes time to acquire….” But the woman didn't look happy as she said that.
“I wish I was better at this.” Belle admitted. “I let my own depression and hurt rule me. It’s already led me to squander so many chances…” The brown haired beauty bit at her lip, not quite sure she should reveal how for the last three or so days she hadn't been really trying to dig deep for the information the Charmings so desperately needed.
“It’s all right….”
“No, it’s NOT.” Belle insisted. “Cora NEEDS to be stopped. The town itself can't...shouldn't run the risk of what she and her daughter will do if united.” She let out the heaviest of sighs. “But so far? So far I have nothing, the pirate not so much as admitting to continued contact with the witch…..”
Ruby frowned. “So he’s a liar, on top of a pervert and a manipulator...big surprise there.”
“I'm not entirely sure about the liar part.” Belle admitted. “He seems so unconcerned about Cora and whatever she might be doing. Almost like they have both washed their hands of each other.”
“Or both could be just biding their time until they have need of one another….” Ruby pointed out, then frowned harder when all Belle did was a helpless shrugging of her shoulders. “So then what?” She asked her. “You're just going to keep playing pretend at a relationship with him in the hopes you can somehow help us in the long run?”
“I did make a deal AND a promise.” Belle pointed out. “But really...I don't know. I honestly don't. For too, too long, I made my life all about Rumplestiltskin….and now I have nothing.”
“You have friends.” Ruby retorted, then gave a soft smile. “You have ME.”
“And I appreciate it, every last one of you.” Belle gave her a tearful look of gratitude. “But I don't know what to do with myself, what my life, what I am without him. I have to try, I have to discover the real me and my purpose in life…and if this time with Hook buys me the chance to find the answer to that as well as potentially help us with Cora….”
Ruby was shaking her head no, looking far more displeased then Belle could ever remember seeing. “It'll be okay.” Belle tried to reassure her. “I will be okay.”
“Just don't make yourself completely about helping people at the sacrifice of your own well being.” Ruby advised. “And if at any time you feel in danger from Hook, I want you to abandon the plan. Just...just walk out before he can hurt you worst than he already has.”
“I don't think he wants to hurt me.” She admitted after a pause. “I don't think that he’s actually even really tried...”
“There’s a lot of ways to be hurt. Don't forget that just because he takes you out shopping.” retorted Ruby. Another frowning twist of her lips, the wolf looking directly towards something behind Belle. “That pervert...where does he even get the money for these things?”
“Oh that?” Belle said, slowly starting to turn to see what exactly Ruby was glaring at. She almost slapped her forehead then. “I'm an idiot.” She announced. “I am!” She added, turning back to Ruby to stave off the protest she knew was coming. “I didn't once think to mention this until now! There’s a man, some friend of his. Goes by the name of Smee. Apparently he’s the one who liquidated Hook’s gold from his days of plunder.”
“Smee?” Ruby repeated the name. “I'll do some digging. See if I can find anything. Maybe David can help...”
“Wouldn't Emma be the better choice?” Belle asked. “It is my understanding our sheriff once made a living hunting down people...”
“Er...Emma has left town.”
“What? When….WHY?!” Belle demanded, shocked. Ruby was the one who shifted now, looking uncomfortable at Belle’s questions. “Ruby!?”
“It was Gold.” Ruby finally admitted with as long, drawn out sigh. “He...uh….made her go with him to look for his son….”
“And she just left with him?”
“He didn't give her much choice….He called in a favor she owed him. And off they went, with Henry in tow...Seems the curse doesn't affect the savior or her son, and Gold needed a guide in the outside world...” Ruby explained.
“Oh...”
“He’s such a bastard.” Ruby muttered with a shake of her head. “He left, even with the danger of Cora on the loose...he left us to our own devices, without even so much as a protection spell. I know you have always tried to believe the best in him, but where you try to help people a tad too much, Gold doesn't try to help at all.”
“Ruby...”
“I am sorry, but it’s the truth. At this point I almost can't think of anyone worst than Gold, except for the pirate!” She again glared at something behind Belle. “Better go stop him before he buys out the whole display…..”
“Display?” Confused, Belle once again began to turn. This time she got an uninterrupted view of the pirate, and just what he was doing and where. “Oh, no…” Belle breathed out in dismay and disbelief. “No, no, no!”
Standing in the center of the aisles that made up the lingerie section of the store, the pirate looked like a child let loose in a candy store. His smirk was unbelievable broad, his blue eyes dark with excitement and a hint of aroused desires. One of the store clerks was standing near to him, her arms full of the flimsy scraps of clothing that passed for underwear and nighties. The pirate was actively adding more to her load, and if Belle hadn't been so distraught about this, she would have noticed that he had set aside not only the bag with the radio, but the clothing he had been carrying.
“Well...” Ruby’s voice sounded strained with her sympathies. “At least it’s only Victoria’s Secret. That stuff is loads more tasteful than the stuff found in Frederick’s of Hollywood's catalogue.”
Belle couldn't manage a reply, taking a step forward, and then another, and another, until she was all but running. She skidded to a halt in front of the pirate, waving her own hands frantically. “No.” She said out loud and firmly. “We….You….” She trailed off as the look in his eyes kicked up a few notches, the hint of arousal a full five alarm blaze as he stared at her in blatant sexual hunger.
“Don't even think about it!” Belle exclaimed, crossing her arms rather prudishly over her chest. She felt as though his stare was burning through her clothing, as though Hook was already imagining what she would look like in one of those skimpy nighties. “You are not buying me underwear!” Her voice had come out louder than she had intended, several of the store’s women looking their way. Belle’s face flushed crimson, her embarrassment high as she glared at Hook.
“Now, now love...” He began in a perfectly reasonably sounding tone. But the effect was ruined by the lust on his face, the way he looked at her, and the slow, perverse way Hook had licked his lips before speaking. “This is something you NEED. Or do you want to walk around with nothing on under your dress?”
That last had been husky whisper, Hook stepping close to Belle so that only she could hear him. She colored even worst, her head shaking slightly in a no response.
“I've no problem with it either way.” He continued with that grin. “Clothed or nude, I love your body regardless of what you wear.”
“Why are you like this?” Belle’s tone was a strained whisper, her eyes blinking rapidly to hold back the angry wet moisture. Hook cocked his head to the side, making an inquisitive noise. “You WERE being nice, even tolerable I'd say. I almost...”
“Almost what, love?”
“I almost forgot you are nothing more than a lecherous pirate.” She whispered sadly. “Does it make you happy to do this to me? To tease and humiliate me?”
He looked surprised then. “It was never my intention to humiliate you!”
“But you have all the same! And you continue to do it.” She gestured wildly with her left arm, aware all the women in the store were still staring at them. “Both publicly and privately, and it’s more than I can bare.”
“Belle….love..”
“My life is in ruins, my reputation tattered beyond repair thanks in no small part to you.” She continued. “When will it end? When will you be satisfied with your torment of me?”
“Bloody hell, LISTEN to me!” He snapped back. “It’s never been about humiliating you!”
“If not that, then what?” She asked. He didn't immediately answer, Belle blinking back more tears. “This is about him, isn't it? You want Rumplestiltskin to hurt, to make assumptions about just what else we are doing. You're still chasing after your revenge.”
“I wasn't thinking about revenge for once!” Hook interrupted her with a snarl. “I wasn't thinking much about anything aside from how you would look in one of these garments!” He stepped back, let out a harsh breath, and ran the palm of his hand over his face. “Damn it lass, I am STILL a man. I have wants and desire, and though I am keeping a leash on the worst of them, when I see something like that, it’s...” He shook his head, looking flustered. “I saw it, and could think of nothing but how much I wanted to see you in one of them. Just picturing it in my head, filled me with the fiercest of wants….YOU fill me with the fiercest of wants, and I won’t apologize for being so attracted to you.”
She was hardly mollified, the heat of her skin blazing with her embarrassed warmth. “You're not buying me underwear.” She repeated, then amended. “You are not picking me out underwear! Or a nightie, or any type of lingerie.” She gave a haughty sniff. “If I buy anything here, it will be of my choice, and no one else’s. Is that understood?”
His lips pressed together in a tightlipped frown, but the pirate nodded a yes. Belle couldn't manage much of a reaction back, her own lips tight together with her displeasure. Out the corner of her eye, she could see Ruby watching, the woman having crossed her arms over her own chest.
“I'm sorry.” Belle turned to the store clerk. “Please put those back, and give me a few minutes to make my own selections.” Her cheeks were still burning with her blush, Belle turning her back on Hook, and on most of the women in the store. She kept her head held high, as she went to pick out some bras and panties that were of a much more modest design than what Hook had been choosing. Wordlessly, Hook fell into step besides her, shadowing her as she moved around the aisles. They didn't actually talk, Belle handing him dresses and things to hold, as she made her selections. Hook was soon laden down more than the store clerk had been, and if Belle hadn't been so worked up with her upset, she might have giggled at the sight of the pirate staggering under all those clothes.
Ruby was still in the store, and though she still stood in that rigid and unforgiving stance, there was a slight smirk to her lips, as though she too was wanting to laugh at the pirate. Hook seemed to be properly chastised for his earlier behavior, the man quiet and thoughtful as he followed Belle around. She couldn't help mirror him in that, though Belle pretended to lose herself into the shopping. But inwardly, she was thinking, mulling over the things he had said earlier. The attraction was no surprise, Belle didn't think he would have slept with her if he hadn't felt a desire for her. But the thing that did send an unpleasant shiver through her, was the depth of how much he admitted to wanting her. It made her more uneasy than flattered, Belle wondering how long a lust starved man could go before he snapped. And with that, came Ruby’s words, the wolf having had advised Belle to just give up and leave before the pirate could hurt her any worst.
She wasn't really one to quit, at least not when it truly mattered. Belle had her moments of weakness and indecision, such as when she had nearly succeeded in cursing herself to oblivion, but ultimately Belle was a fighter. For people and for beliefs. Never once did she think that it was a battle of when she would give in, Belle certain she would never be so weak as to give in to the lust the pirate tried to ignite inside her. But just as she was confidant where her own wants and desires laid, Belle wasn't so certain about Hook. Pirates in general had a notoriously bad reputation, especially when it came to women and the lust that they inspired. To be at the mercy of one, even a pirate you had parlayed a deal with? It was a frightening, chill including situation.
Belle could only hope that Hook’s attraction to her, that terribly desperate want, would be enough to keep him from turning against her should he realize her own scheming where his connection to Cora was concerned. She held back her sigh, and walked towards one of the half a dozen registers located inside the store. The clerk was more than happy to make the sale, even with the lingerie she had had to put back.
Hook still had a fairly thick sized wad of cash, even after purchasing Belle a completely new wardrobe. He was bogged down with bags, including the one with his radio. Belle herself carried a few of the lighter bags, and Ruby had wordlessly joined in the endeavor by taking a hold of a few herself.
“Well!” Ruby said with a strained smile. “What say we go to Granny’s and get something to eat?”
“Sounds like a plan.” Belle murmured her agreement. But she didn't feel as hungry as she should, her appetite dulled by depression and her upset and worry with Hook.
Granny’s diner wasn't located that far from where they were now. Main street was a large strip of land dedicated solely to businesses, the length of which covered roughly twenty blocks. The diner was only three blocks over, and since it was well past lunch time, it was only half as crowded as it could have been.
“There you are!” Granny grumbled a greeting to Belle and Ruby. “You ran out in the middle of your shift at the most busiest time of the day!”
“I had a...a family emergency.” Ruby told her grandmother, nodding at Belle. Granny merely hmphed in reply, and threw an apron at Ruby.
“Well she looks fine now, so get your butt back to work!” The older woman advised.
“Fine, fine...” Ruby grumbled, and glanced at Belle worriedly.
“I'm fine.” She once again stressed. “I can handle things...handle him..”
“Be careful regardless.” Ruby advised.
“Always.” Belle reassured her. Ruby stepped away to go take an order, the woman reaching into her apron’s pocket for the notepad and pen kept there. Belle turned away from her, and saw that Hook had set down the packages and had slid into a booth with them. Belle fought not to sigh, squared her shoulders as though gearing up for battle, and walked over to join him.
She didn't intend to say much of anything to him, sliding behind the booth’s table. She ended up seated across from him, and her hands went to play with a napkin. His hand suddenly reached out and covered hers, stilling her nervous fidgeting. Belle looked up at him, and the expression in her eyes was wary.
“Yes?”
“I...” The pirate looked extremely uncomfortable, as though he was about to admit to something he didn't often have reason to say. “I am sorry.”
All Belle could do was blink in surprise, the apology that unexpected.
“I mean it.” He added. “I was a...unthinking, lustful buffoon. I hurt you and made you uncomfortable, and for that I apologize.” He shifted in his seat, still cover her hand with his. He appeared to be waiting for Belle to say something, but she couldn't think of what to say.
“Belle, love...”
“What can I get you?” Ruby interrupted, having finished with the other diner’s order. Hook frowned, and tossed a glare up at the woman, the wolf ignoring him completely.
“I...I think I'll skip my usual.” Belle said, thinking that a cheeseburger and fries was too heavy a meal for the way that she was feeling. “Maybe a salad then? Caesar’s style.”
“One Caesar style salad with the house dressing coming right up.” Ruby looked about ready to leave, when Belle spoke up again.
“How about you, Hook? What would you like?”
Now he was the one blinking, as though surprised Belle had finally deigned to speak to him once again. “Er...” He hesitated. “Don't know much about this world’s food. What would you recommend?”
“I'm not yet familiar with all your tastes...” Belle thoughtfully mused. “But you can't go wrong with Granny’s bacon and cheese burger.”
“Cheese burger?” He frowned, and she was again reminded he didn't know much about this world, and that included it’s food and it’s lingo. “What is that?”
“It’s a thick patty of meat between two pieces of bread. You can get hot melted cheese on it, and bacon, and some lettuce and other toppings if you want.” Belle watched as his brow drew together, Hook given careful consideration to it. “It’s really good.” She added, while Ruby gave off an air of complete and total impatience towards the pirate.
“I'm sure I could whip up a plate of rat poison for you.” She muttered. “That’s about the only thing you deserve...”
“Ruby!” Belle admonished with a sharp gasp. Hook glanced at the wolf, then turned his attention back to Belle.
“I'll try this...this cheese burger then.” He told her. “I'll take it with everything BUT that rat poison you mentioned.”
“Hmph.” The scritch scratch of Ruby’s pen sounded angry, the woman then walking off with out another word. Belle gazed after the dark haired woman for a few more seconds, then felt Hook touch her hand again.
“I really do apologize.”
Belle bit at her lip, not missing the way that simple act drew Hook’s gaze to her mouth. For once he managed to not appear lustful, but Belle couldn't forget the intense way he often did stare back at her. He just had a way about him, a way of making her uncomfortable more often than not. Her whole situation with him was that, though for a brief time today, he had made her forget the worst side of it, of him.
“What do you hope to hear me say?” She finally asked. “That you are forgiven, that it was okay?”
He shook his head no. “I know that it wasn't.” Hook followed those words with a sigh. Belle just looked at him, content to let him struggle, the man trying to find the right words. “I guess..I guess I am just wanting reassurance. I want to know I haven't completely fucked up everything between us.”
“You haven't.” Belle told him, but before the smile could truly blossom on his face, she pulled her hand out from beneath his. “There was nothing left that you could mess up any further.” She heard the hoarse tone in which he said her name, as though Belle had wounded him. She steeled her heart, and made ice water run through her veins, Belle shaking her head no. “There was never any us….I am with you, only because I honor the deals that I make.”
Looking stunned, Hook let out a deep breath. “Aye.” He said at last, with a slow nod of his head. “You do. That staggering sense of honor...it is just one of the things that amazes me about you.”
She felt ill at ease with the admiration he now voiced, Belle aware it wasn't just honor that had kept her with him. She wondered if that would lessen his opinion of her if Hook were to find out she was in effect using their deal to try and dig deep for any tidbit of information Ruby and the Charmings could use against Cora. But more than that, the beauty wondered why she had let it matter, the feelings actually tightening in her chest. Was it fear of his reaction to it, the fear of what he would and could do in retaliation? Or was it something as simple as Belle not liking to see anyone get hurt, not even someone like the pirate who had more than earned the right to a comeuppance?
She just didn't know, and that bothered Belle most of all.
To be Continued….
A bit iffy on how I chose to end the chapter. It felt like anything else would just drag it on, and really I want to time skip them past eating, and possibly have them back at his ship. I'm definitely thinking twenty five will be a Hook POV for the narrative….but that’s not completely set in stone. Who knows, after I spell check and proofread, I might feel the need to continue with a Belle POV. :p
I wrote most of this last night, but then around five in the morning, just as the cheese burger part was reached, my brain shut down. I think I could have finished it if I hadn't had a set back a little earlier in the chapter. Basically...I got all the way to the part where Belle runs over to Hook in the lingerie department, and then it went all horribly wrong. He was worse than usual, and she slapped him, and ran out the store. He ran out after her, and the attempt at the dialogue that followed….it was just totally derailing the fic and the chapter. So I had to trash that bit of writing, and tackle the scene from a different angle. And it worked for me so much better in an attempt two!
It’s funny how things play out differently from what I first imagine. I've known for a long time about the lingerie scene, but in my head, it was much simpler. Just her telling him no, and him going, “Shame.” I actually originally thought he'd either shop lift, or secretly buy her some skimpy thing when she was distracted. But I also, had considered at one point, her in a changing room, and him coming inside it, to try and seduce her. Clearly none of that seemed like a good idea by the time I actually got to this particular moment in the fic.
Actually imagining Hook is rather subdued...not for the rest of the fic, no never that! He is still gonna be trying to seduce her. But I like to imagine the days events has given him something to think about, and might delay him trying to perv on her at least for one more day! This is the part I get shot by all the people clamoring for smut! XD
Sometimes I over think my own story, and get stuck. There was a scene with Cora I originally imagined happening when they got back to the ship, but then I realized there was no way I would have the relationship advanced to where I wanted and needed it to be….Cora’s got a role in this story, but perhaps not the way you might be assuming. The story is far from over...so far….I am starting to stress and worry about how to advance not only to that scene, the story but Hook and Belle’s relationship.
I'm also thinking there will be more shopping outings in the near future. Since neither of them have a car, they have to carry everything back, so I am thinking Hook getting modern world clothes will have to wait for another day! XD
One thing I am bummed about, is I wanted to somehow get them to the library, and Belle would let him have the book with his fairytale in it...but now with the way the lingerie incident went down, it doesn't feel natural for that particular scene. I'm still gonna try for it in a later chapter and story day!
At this point I should stop babbling. Need to go grab breakfast after all! Thanks for reading!
----Michelle
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