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Be A Man	By : cowgirl65 Category: 1 through F > The Big Valley Views: 3052 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I in no way own The Big Valley. I make no money from writing this, just the personal satisfaction of (hopefully!) entertaining those who love the show as much as I do.

Chapter List
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Frustrated, and feeling guilty about being a little relieved, Jarrod headed back to town. Nick was long gone when he left Dave’s and there were too many places on the ranch where his brother could have gone, not to mention the possibility he went back home. Jarrod really didn’t want to have his brother confront him in front of their mother and sister, so he avoided looking there for the moment. Heath knew and accepted his peculiarities, but it was too much to hope for that Nick would encounter their youngest brother or that Heath would be able to make Nick understand. Hell, he didn’t even truly understand himself, but he was who he was and that wasn’t going to change.
Jarrod’s heart cringed at the thought that he might have lost Nick’s love and respect. They’d always been close, even with the years they were apart when he was studying law and when they served in the war. They’d butted heads, even gotten into a few knock-down, drag-out brawls, but there was never any doubt of the fierce love and loyalty they had for each other. That same loyalty had easily been extended to Heath, making the three of them each a part of a stronger whole. From the revulsion on Nick’s face at his discovery, though, it was a whole that Jarrod was sure had now been shattered.
Jarrod left Jingo at the livery. Dave’s grulla was there as well, so Jarrod headed first to the sheriff’s office to see if he could find the other man.
That was when he saw two men striding down the street. As if sensing their intention, other people were giving them a wide berth as they marched towards the jail. Jarrod broke into a run to try to avert the confrontation he knew Jake and Alan Kyles were planning on having with Sheriff Barrett.
The door to the sheriff’s office opened and Jarrod saw Dave turn back to talk to someone. The world slowed as he saw Jake Kyles raise his rifle and take aim at the sheriff’s back. Jarrod was barely even conscious of the scream that ripped from his throat, of pulling his gun and squeezing the trigger he didn’t know how many times. All he saw was the look on Dave’s face as Jake’s bullet ripped into him, his body falling slowly to the sidewalk. Jarrod didn’t even see the elder Kyles’ lifeless body in the dirt of the street, didn’t see the deputy apprehend a stunned Alan as he dropped to his knees at Dave’s side and cradled his lover in his arms.
Blue eyes cracked open. “Jarrod…”
“Shh, Dave, just hang on.” Jarrod did his best to keep his voice even and reassuring as he tried not to think the worst. He heard someone call for the doctor as he saw the spreading pool of blood. “I’m gonna move you a bit and try to stop the bleeding.”
Jarrod quickly stripped off his jacket and Dave moaned when he was rolled gently to his side. Jarrod wadded up the cloth, held it firmly to the bleeding wound and continued to apply pressure as he carefully let Dave’s body roll back. “The doctor’s coming, Dave.”
“Jarrod.” Dave’s voice was a harsh whisper. “If I don’t make it, you take good care of my boy.”
“You’ll be here to do that yourself,” Jarrod insisted firmly, as much to make himself believe it as Dave. Dave just managed a small smile before closing his eyes. Jarrod could still feel the heartbeat under his hands and sent up a fervent prayer. Please...
“Let’s get him to my office.”
Jarrod looked up into the craggy face of the town’s pre-eminent physician.
“You keep that pressure on, Jarrod,” Dr. Merar continued. “You two,” he indicated two men nearby, “help me move him.”
They obediently picked up the sheriff between them and Jarrod continued to hold onto Dave for the short trip, growing more worried as Dave’s breathing became shallower. They set the wounded man on his stomach on the table in the surgery and backed out respectfully.
“Keep holding that,” the doctor instructed. Jarrod did, glad of something to do.
“Hang in there, Dave,” he murmured. “It’s going to be all right.”
Hands scrubbed, Dr. Merar came over and slit Dave’s vest and shirt up the back. “Let go now, Jarrod, and I’ll see what we’ve got.”
It took all of Jarrod’s will to make himself release Dave and he stood back while the doctor performed his exam. He picked up a long metal probe. “If I can get you to hold him…”
Jarrod stepped forward and wrapped his arm around Dave’s shoulders to keep him still while the doctor worked. He held on while Dr. Merar set about removing the bullet, praying that it wouldn’t be the last time he held the man he loved. He heard the sharp ‘clink’ of something hitting a basin and asked, “Doctor?”
“The bullet’s out,” Dr. Merar told him as he packed and bandaged the wound. “I’m just hoping it didn’t hit his lung and there’s always the chance of infection.” He sighed. “He’s also lost a lot of blood. We’ll just have to wait and see.”
Jarrod nodded and he unconsciously gripped Dave’s hand tightly. He felt a comforting hand on his shoulder and looked up into the compassionate eyes.
“Stay with him as long as you want, Jarrod,” Dr. Merar said kindly. “Call me if you need anything.”
Jarrod nodded mutely, unsure of exactly how much the doctor guessed, but not really caring at that moment. All that mattered was Dave, being with him and not letting him go.

*

Nick set his hat on the hall table. He’d tried to distract himself with work, but when he realized he’d counted the same bull three times, he gave up and rode home. He stood still for a moment, debating whether to go upstairs and clean up or pour himself a much-needed drink. Deciding on a bath first, Nick turned to head up the stairs when a voice stopped him.
“Nick? I didn’t realize you were home.”
He turned to see his mother in the doorway. “It’s been a long day,” he told her.
Victoria eyes her son suspiciously. “Is something wrong, Nick?”
Nick just shrugged. He wasn’t good at keeping anything from his mother, but he wasn’t about to tell her he’d seen her oldest son having sex with another man.
“Nicholas…” she said firmly, but was interrupted by Silas coming into the foyer.
“Missus Barkley, Mr. Nick,” he said, “I just got back from town and thought you should know. Sheriff Barrett’s been shot, by Jake Kyles.”
Victoria’s hand flew to her mouth and Nick felt a curious mix of regret, guilt and elation. “Jarrod?” the matriarch asked anxiously. They all had heard the news that Jarrod helped Sheriff Barrett apprehend one of the Kyles boys.
“He killed Jake,” Silas told them. “And no one’s sure if the sheriff’ll make it.”
Nick experienced a wash of relief. He didn’t condone the death of a lawman, but if Barrett was out of the way, maybe Jarrod could get back to a normal life. “Good riddance,” he muttered as Silas went to start preparing lunch.
“Nick,” Victoria chastised. “I have to admit Jake Kyles was not an upstanding citizen, but really.”
“Yeah, him too.” Nick saw his mother look at him sharply.
“Why would you be happy that Dave Barrett was shot?” Victoria asked sternly. “He seems to be a good man and father and Jarrod will be devastated if anything happens to him.”
“Sorry,” Nick grumbled before both of them realized what had been said. Victoria looked a bit awkward as Nick asked, “Mother? Do you know something about Jarrod and Barrett that you should be telling me?”
Victoria shook her head. “Nick, it’s not my place. It’s Jarrod’s life and who he chooses to tell is up to him.”
Nick couldn’t take it any more. “Does everyone in this family know Jarrod’s sleeping with a man but me?!” he exploded.
“Nicholas, keep your voice down!” Victoria reprimanded sharply.
“And you’re okay with the fact that your son is a perverted little catamite?!” Nick regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth.
Nick’s face stung with the force of his mother’s hand across his cheek and her voice rose to match his. “Nicholas Jonathon Barkley, I will not tolerate that kind of language! Jarrod is my son and I love him unconditionally! I don’t care if he’s sleeping with prostitutes, men or no one at all, I will not hear another word against him, do you understand?! He’s your brother and he’s always been there for you! He has given of himself time and time again and you of all people should know what kind of a man your brother is!” She trembled with emotion and Nick saw the glint of tears in her grey eyes. He took a step forward and enfolded her in his strong arms.
“I’m sorry, Mother, I do what kind of man he is,” Nick assured her softly. He remembered when Jarrod rescued him from that mine all those years ago, and Jarrod’s faith in him when other ranchers thought he was too young to run the vast Barkley spread after their father’s death. He remembered how Jarrod had stood beside him in the firefight with the railroad even though he knew Jarrod had hoped for a legal solution. He remembered how Jarrod steadfastly supported Heath as their father’s son, against those who would deride him for his illegitimacy and even against Nick himself. Other than Heath, there was no one Nick would rather have at his back. He felt a deep shame for his initial attitude and cruel words and he wished he could take them back. After all, what Heath had said was true; both his brothers were the same men who’d sat down to breakfast with him that morning. “I’m proud to have Jarrod as my brother. I just don’t understand.”
“I don’t know if any of us can understand,” she whispered. “But all I want is for my sons to be happy.”
Nick nodded and as he continued to hold her close, he vowed he would do his best to accept Jarrod’s relationship with Dave. “I’m going into town,” he said finally. “I’ll see how things are and let Jarrod know that we all love him and are here for him, no matter what.”
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Be A Man