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Darkest Nights	By : Bucken-Berry Category: G through L > Law & Order Views: 1449 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or it's characters and I'm not making money from this.

Chapter List
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A fist connected with his chest, two voices shouted, he was pinned against the wall, another shouting voice appeared, then the person was forced away- he slid to the ground. Shocked and confused, he stared at the ceiling and tried to make sense of what had happened.
His brain refused to process any information. He just kept replaying the last minute in his mind. He was talking- he was pinned against the wall- now he was here…
"George? George?" A terrified voice called. He blinked to see Elliot standing over him, panic clear in his eyes. "George, just do something if you hear me," Elliot pleaded. George's body complied and he touched Elliot's wrist, the motions lost. It felt surreal.
"He needs to get checked out," Cragen observed.
"No shit, captain," Elliot snarled.
"I was just saying…" Cragen began defensively.
"Whatever," Elliot said dismissively. He turned his attention to George as he tried to sit up.
"Stay still until you get checked out," Elliot ordered. "Do you remember what happened?"
"I do, but it's not clear."
"What do you remember clearly?" Elliot asked.
"Walking into the interrogation room," George replied. The EMT's arrived and began taking his vitals.
"You should get checked out, just in case, but I don't see anything dangerous. It's up to you," an EMT concluded after a minute.
"I really would rather just leave," George insisted.
"Okay," Elliot said softly. He helped George to his feet and turned to Cragen.
"That's assuming, of course, that you don't want to use him as bait for yet another psychopath? Maybe the next one will finish Keyes's work- I bet you'd love that!" Elliot said furiously.
"Elliot, of course I don't want…" Cragen trailed off, looking abashed.
"Save your breath," Elliot growled. They left without another word.
Once they were in the car, he decided to check on George's mental state; he still seemed shocked. He sat down in the driver's seat and cupped George's cheeks.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm not even sure- which probably means I'm not," George replied. He leaned into Elliot's touch.
"You're still confused?" Elliot guessed.
"Very. It feels like I was in the interrogation room one second, and the next I was with you. I know what happened, of course, but it feels like it could have been a dream."
Elliot knew George would need to talk later, but he could almost feel the lethargy radiating off of him. He decided to address the issue later. "Want to go home?" Elliot asked.
"Please," George replied. Elliot kissed him gently before starting the car.
"Lay down and I'll bring you an ice pack," Elliot offered when they arrived home. George got in the bed while Elliot went to the kitchen before walking up to their room and handing the ice pack to George. George set it on his chest and let out a deep sigh of relief.
"That's better," he murmured.
"Get some rest, doc," Elliot suggested.
"Where are you going?" George asked as Elliot started walking away.
"Lots of paperwork to do. It'll just be a few minutes, and then I'll lie down with you," he stated.
"Okay," George said quietly. Elliot walked into the living room and sat down. He grabbed the papers, but he stared at them without even reading them. His emotions were too strong to let him focus.
Fury barely scratched the surface of his feelings. There was his anger at Keyes, for daring to attack George. And there was his anger at having been ignored. He had warned both George and Cragen what would happen, and neither had listened to him. He could understand George, because he was under so much pressure, but Cragen? Unforgiveable.
Just then, the doorbell rang. He walked over and opened the door to see Cragen standing there. "Yes, captain?" he asked acidly. He opened the door wider to let Cragen in.
"I came to check on George."
"He's resting, and the last thing he needs is more stress," Elliot informed him.
"Elliot, I'm-" Cragen began.
"Don't you dare- don't you dare act like this will go away if you apologize," Elliot ordered loudly.
"Elliot, listen-"
"No, you listen!" Elliot roared. "He was raped and tortured for a month by this freak! And what did you do? You put George in the room, alone, with his attacker! I don't care if Keyes was giving you every criminal on the FBI's most wanted list- you used George as bait and you almost got him killed! AGAIN! Did you already forget how close to death he was? Were you TRYING to get George killed?"
"He said he could handle it."
"Would you let any other victim do that, even if they said they could do it? Say you had a female victim who'd been raped and her attacker was insisting on talking to her. Would you let it happen? No, you wouldn't! So why do it with George? Do you care about him and his well-being at all?"
"Elliot, I'm sorry about this. But we got the names of Keyes's accomplices, so they'll go to jail."
"I don't care if we catch anyone! How many times do I need to say that I just want to help George?" Elliot exclaimed.
"Elliot, you need to think about the other victims," Cragen reminded him.
"You're damn right, captain! But George is the only living victim, and I can't do anything for the others except get justice. But I refuse to do that at the cost of someone else being harmed. That means making sure George does NOT get attacked by the guy that tortured and raped him and does NOT get another trauma added to the things he has to deal with!"
He took in a sharp breath. "Have you forgotten all the problems rape victims experience? Flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks… multiply that by ten for someone in George's situation. And then you let him back in the room with Keyes! Now George has been victimized and traumatized again, and he hasn't even recovered from the first time. Not even close! So thanks, captain! I'll be sure to remember how much you aided his recovery," Elliot said sarcastically. His head was spinning and his blood was boiling.
George sighed when he heard raised voices coming from downstairs. So much for sleeping. He decided to check on Elliot. Wincing slightly, he stood and walked towards the noise.
"Elliot, you do realize that George went in there willingly, right? He knew this could happen. It was his choice- I didn't force him," Cragen stated.
Elliot was about to retort when he saw George inching towards them from the base of the stairs. "I thought I told you to get some rest," Elliot said. He set an arm under George's shoulders and half guided, half carried him to the sofa.
Cragen's eyes widened slightly when he saw the interaction between Elliot and George. He hadn't realized it before, but suddenly everything made sense. No wonder Elliot had gotten so angry at him- in Elliot's mind, harm to someone Elliot loved was worse than harm to Elliot himself.
Cragen decided to make amends before Elliot developed a grudge. "George, I apologize. I shouldn't have allowed you to go in there at all, especially alone. And Elliot, I apologize to you as well. I know how much it hurts when someone you care about is injured in any way," Cragen said.
"It's okay. It was as much my fault as anyone else's," George said softly. Elliot sent George a glare that said he thought George was wrong, but George didn't alter his statement.
"I want you to forgive me, Elliot, but I'm not going to beg," Cragen said shortly. He stood up and left with a friendly nod to George.
Elliot glared at the door for a moment before he stood up and grabbed a spare blanket and pillow from the hall closet. He placed the blanket over George and set the pillow against his leg. George took the invitation, propping his head on Elliot's leg while Elliot shifted into a more comfortable position.
"Elliot?" George began softly.
"Yeah?" Elliot replied.
"You're mad at me, aren't you?" George asked quietly. Elliot stroked George's head gently.
"Not at you. At Cragen and Keyes," he corrected.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. You don't have a reason to be sorry. Despite what you said, you aren't to blame at all. Keyes was the one who attacked you and Cragen shouldn't have let you in at all, or he should have at least insisted that someone be in there to protect you," Elliot spoke in a controlled voice. He wasn't mad at George, but his anger at the others threatened to leak into his voice and he didn't want to add to George's worries.
"Did he give up his the others?" George asked. "I'd hate for-"
"He gave them up when we pulled him off of you. There are three others. Olivia, Fin, and Munch are after them and they should be caught by tomorrow at the latest. Don't worry about that right now, though," Elliot instructed. George leaned back and closed his eyes. Elliot rubbed George's temples slowly and let his thoughts roam.
What had happened to George was the last thing he needed and it was bound to set George's recovery back. What should he do? He knew he needed to get George to talk, but he didn't know what to say. He let out a deep sigh. "George?"
"Yeah?" George replied.
"I want to talk to you, but I don't know what to say," Elliot explained.
George laughed softly. "In other words, you want to shrink me but you don't know how?"
"Something like that. So give me a hand here, doc," Elliot replied.
The mood got serious again once George started speaking. "I felt so helpless when I went in there. But I can't even describe my emotions now. I should be bothered by what he said, and I think I am, but I don't really feel it. Maybe I've been degraded so much that I can't feel any worse, but there you go."
"I'm sorry, George," Elliot whispered. Tears formed in his eyes. "I'm so tired of people hurting you! I don't understand it at all. You're such a beautiful person- why would someone want to hurt you?"
"Because that's my lot in life?" George suggested pessimistically.
"George, it will get better," Elliot whispered.
George gave a mirthless laugh and shook his head. "What gives you that impression? Is it the fact that I had a choice between facing Keyes again and letting people die, which wasn't a choice at all, or the fact that he knew exactly what buttons to push to make me panic, or the fact that he attacked me again, or the fact that he was completely right when he said that I hate myself?"
Elliot was immediately put off. "I- uh…" He trailed off dumbly. He couldn't believe what George had just said- it didn't sound like George, at all. He knew why George felt it, but he was stunned, nonetheless.
"I'm sorry, Elliot!" George gasped suddenly. "I didn't mean to lash out-"
"No, George- seriously, you should be pretty pissed off right now," Elliot said flatly. "You got attacked and mind-raped by Keyes, no one protected you… I'm mad at just about everyone, and your anger would be even more justified than mine."
"I shouldn't be mad at you though. You're my… lover. I shouldn't do that," George whispered.
"It's not like you have anyone else to talk to about it," Elliot pointed out.
"But you don't deserve to be my emotional punching bag. You don't deserve it and I should know better," George said. He buried his fact in Elliot's chest. "What the hell is wrong with me?"
"None of it is your fault," Elliot whispered. "I promise, nothing's wrong with you. You've been through hell and it's had a huge impact on you, but it isn't your fault, it's the others'." He pulled George off his chest and looked at him carefully.
The guilt on George's face was hard to see, especially because none of it was deserved. "George, I know this is insanely difficult, but we will get through this," Elliot said softly.
George shook his head. "Even if we do, it's not like I deserve to recover."
The words felt like acid; an unbearable, burning pain wherever they landed. He knew George was trying, but in George's position, even the most resilient person on the planet would have broken down like George had. But it still hurt to hear his self-hatred. It hurt to see the man he loved in so much turmoil.
Elliot closed his eyes and held George close, wondering what he was going to do.
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Darkest Nights