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Time	By : cr8zymommy Category: 1 through F > Criminal Minds Views: 4585 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story

Chapter List
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Once Spencer and Morgan were dressed to go, the two headed out to the living room where Aaron was sitting with Garcia, waiting for them. It amused Morgan to see Garcia blush slightly and Aaron avert his eyes from Spencer for just a quick moment. The kid really had embarrassed them both without even meaning to. When Morgan remembered the look on Aaron’s face, he wondered what his boss really thought about what had happened. Some of the amusement leaked away. Spencer’s actions hadn’t upset Aaron, had they?
Thinking on it had Morgan worrying. He looked at Garcia, giving her a look he hoped she understood before he turned back to Spencer. “Hey, kid, why don’t’ you and Garcia go take Clooney out back before we leave? He probably has to go and he doesn’t seem to want to separate from you.”
Spencer nodded and patted Clooney’s head, which was in its new customary spot beside Spencer’s leg. The smile Garcia wore said she understood that Morgan wanted to talk alone with Aaron. She rose to her feet and gestured to Spencer. “Come on, sweetie pie. Let’s let the gorgeous dog run around a little before you leave me to housework here.”
Only when he was sure the two were outside and the patio door closed did Morgan turned back to his friend. “Listen, Hotch. About before…” Morgan trailed off, trying to figure out how to put into words what he wanted to say. He had to fight off the urge to feel like he was betraying Spencer in some way by saying this. He just, he felt his boss, his friend, had a right to understand. “The kid, him coming out like that, it wasn’t what you think.”
Aaron raised an eyebrow at him. “I haven’t quite decided what I think about it, Morgan. But I’ll take the bait on this. What was it, then?”
“I’m not sure if I should be telling you this. It’s something he said to me and I just, I don’t want to betray that confidence but I think you should understand. All of you probably should, because I doubt that’s the last time that’ll happen.” Sighing again, Morgan ran a hand over his scalp. “I don’t think he really meant to say it to me, anyways, so I’m not telling secrets he’s told me. He just kind of mumbled it to himself. When I was getting him ready for his bath that first day he remembered who he was, he had a strange look on his face and he muttered like he used to do when he was thinking and stuff just kind of, slipped out, you know?”
“Yes.” Aaron nodded, a small smile on his lips. “He never realized he was thinking out loud. We always had a good chuckle over that.”
“Well, that’s what he was doing this time. He said something like ‘When someone turns your body into an object, your boundaries slowly start to disappear’.” He watched the pained look cross Aaron’s face. “I think that, instead of the natural shyness lots of victims feel, Spencer kind of went the other way. He feels that there’s no point in hiding himself or anything like that because there’s always going to be someone bigger and stronger who can take what they want, whenever they want. So, being naked around us doesn’t really matter to him. He figures ‘what’s the point? If they want me naked they’d do it anyways’.”
“So this way, it’s on his terms.”
The two shared a sad look. “Exactly.” Morgan muttered. He hated that this was true, but there was no denying it. “He doesn’t hold the same boundaries anymore. He doesn’t get embarrassed about it. Vincent, he took away that filter that most people have. Spencer doesn’t see his body as him, really. He sees it as just an object.”
A moment of silent understanding passed between them just seconds before the patio door opened and the sound of footsteps heralded their friends. Morgan put a smile on his face while he turned. “You ready to go, pretty boy?”
He could see Spencer was nervous about going outside again. But the young man nodded bravely. After exchanging goodbyes with Garcia, the three men headed out to Morgan’s car. It surprised Spencer—though it didn’t surprise Morgan—when Aaron automatically went to the backseat. That wasn’t normal; the man never sat back there. Rarely was he the one not driving the car. But Morgan knew that Aaron was allowing Spencer to be by the person he felt most comfortable with.
Spencer awkwardly buckled his seatbelt; sometimes he still had a bit of a problem using his hands for certain things. It was just another thing that Morgan hated to see. Hated knowing that it had been so long since Spencer had done these kinds of things that his hands could barely remember how to do it. With practice, he was gradually getting better.
“So, Spencer, are you excited?” Aaron asked him gently while Morgan backed the car out of the driveway. Surprise had Spencer turning to look at the man in the backseat. “I’m sorry.” He apologized quickly. “I don’t understand.”
“Are you excited to see Cindy? Morgan said that you really wanted to go see her.” The way the unit chief spoke wasn’t typical for him; but it was obvious to Morgan that Aaron was trying to make Spencer comfortable and as relaxed as possible. Trying to draw him into normal conversation. Spencer would only get better at speaking to people if he practiced. His obvious discomfort at talking to people, especially males, would never change if he didn’t have conversations with them.
“I’m extremely sorry.” Once again, Spencer apologized, sounding sincere in his apology. “Who is Cindy?”
Before Aaron could say anything, Morgan answered for him, understanding Spencer’s confusion. “The pretty lady, Spencer. Her name is Cindy.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Morgan saw Spencer’s mouth drop open a little and his eyes widen. He turned to look towards Morgan. “We’re going to see the pretty lady?” He asked incredulously.
“Well, yeah kid. I told you we would.” While stopped at a light he looked over to flash a quick grin at him. “I know we were supposed to go yesterday, but you were upset and you could barely walk.” Remembrance had Morgan furrowing his brows. He paid attention to the road as the light turned green, but he said “I had forgotten about your ankle. You don’t seem to be walking painfully. Are you still hurting?”
Spencer didn’t hesitate to answer. “Sleeping and the bath both helped take down the pain and swelling to manageable level. Though it’s still swollen it doesn’t hurt too badly.”
“You’re walking around on an injured ankle, Reid?” Aaron asked. His voice held that small hint of seriousness that he usually used when he was speaking as Unit Chief and not as Aaron.
For a second it seemed like Spencer wasn’t going to speak anymore. Then, so quietly they barely heard him, he looked at his lap and whispered “I’ve walked on worse. Master hated when I limped, so I learned to think around the pain.” He swallowed, the sound audible in the car.
Morgan’s hands gripped the wheel a little tighter. He was walking around with an injured ankle because he didn’t want to get in trouble for limping? Just when Morgan thought that Spencer totally trusted him, something else showed just how far they had to go. Not everything between them was perfect, even if their relationship was better than any others Spencer had. “Kid, listen.” He said when he could trust himself to speak without growling. The anger wasn’t directed at Spencer; no, it was all for Vincent. “If you hurt, I don’t want you to hide it from me. I’m not going to get mad if you’re limping or if you show something hurts. I’d rather know what’s wrong so I can help you. You don’t have to hide it from me. Or any of us.”
“He’s right, Reid.” There was a tiny hint of sadness in Aaron’s voice. “We want to help you, but to do that, you have to let us. We know it’s not easy and we know it’ll be hard for you. We don’t expect you to just be better overnight. But when it comes to things like being hurt, please, don’t hide it from us. At least tell Morgan. I know you trust him more than you trust us.”
“I’m sorry.” This time the apology was much quieter than before. What he said next wasn’t what they had expected, though. “I don’t mean to upset you all by the way I act around you. I don’t understand why I trust Morgan more than I do the rest of you, but it is not something I do intentionally. All of you, you make me feel safe when you’re there. You do. But…at a distance. I don’t know what to say or how to say it to you and I worry constantly that I’ll say or do something wrong, even though my mind and my memories tell me I wouldn’t be in trouble for what I say.”
Spencer paused. His long fingers were picking at his pant legs, a sign of both his nerves and his discomfort in the clothing. The car stayed silent, waiting, sensing that he wasn’t done yet. They were right.
“I do trust you, Hotch. You were my boss, but you were also a friend. You were more of a father figure than my father or even Gideon. You stayed, when none of them did. You looked for me. You, your strength, taught me so much. I don’t know if I would have survived without that strength that you gave me. But at the same time, it’s the same strength that scares me. The Boy in me,” and they all heard the capital on ‘Boy’, telling them that he didn’t mean child but who he had been with Vincent “tells me that you could easily hurt me. Spencer knows better. But Spencer also knows that, if I let myself lean on all of you, if I let myself trust you all and get close, when Master comes, it’ll hurt me so much more in the end. There’d be no way I could save my sanity this time.”
His words struck them hard and deep. Morgan was grateful for another light because he felt tears clouding his vision. To hear Spencer speak so candidly was a good thing. Yet, what he said was heartbreaking. The most heartbreaking of all was the end. When Master comes, not If Master comes.
Aaron had caught that wording too. His voice was low and gentle, the same voice he used when speaking to victims on the job. “Reid…Spencer. Vincent is in jail. He can’t touch you anymore.”
“He’s disappeared before, but he always comes back. Always.” Was the low response. Then even lower, with a heartbreaking tremble, “He’ll never give me up. I’m his property.”
As they continued to the hospital, Morgan couldn’t stop himself from reaching over and resting one hand on Spencer’s leg. The younger man didn’t startle. Instead, he slowly moved his own hand before finally, hesitantly, laying it over Morgan’s.
“Pretty boy, you’re no one’s property.” Morgan told him gruffly. “And I will never let him have you again. I will keep you safe with me, I promise you that.”
After a brief moment, Spencer smiled at him. The conversation stopped after that. There really was nothing more any of them could say. So, silent, the three friends rode the rest of the way to the hospital.

Nerves and eagerness burned inside of Spencer. He couldn’t stop himself from wringing his hands together while he followed Morgan and Aaron down the hospital hallway. In his mind he knew that the pretty lady—Cindy. Her name was Cindy!—was alive, but at the same time he couldn’t help being afraid that they were wrong. That maybe it was someone else they’d found. Someone else that was here. Or maybe they’d lied. Maybe no one had been saved and they just hadn’t wanted to upset him with the truth. They hadn’t wanted to tell him that he hadn’t saved her. That he’d failed.
He was working himself into quite a panic as they walked. What if it wasn’t her? What would he do if he found out that she wasn’t really alive? Maybe they’d got the wrong girl. Maybe Master had put a new pretty lady and the one he’d known was already dead. He couldn’t bear that thought. He couldn’t stand knowing that he’d failed.
When the two men in front of him stopped, Spencer almost ran into them, so lost in his circling thoughts was he. A tremble ran down his body when he saw where they were. Instantly his hands wrapped around his waist, a gesture he’d started not long after he’d been taken by Vincent. It was like he was holding himself together by doing it. Almost like he was being hugged.
“You ready to go in, Spencer?” Aaron asked him. Since the car ride, he’d stopped calling him Reid and instead was calling him Spencer. It actually was easier for Spencer to hear. He knew who he was now, of course he did. But having people call him Reid was like a reminder of the life he’d lost. It gave his heart a pang each time he heard it. Reid was gone. Reid had died down in that basement to be born again as boy. Maybe it was time for boy to die and be born again as Spencer.
He realized that they were staring at him and that he’d drifted off in his thoughts. Would they be upset with him for not answering? Was he going to get in trouble now? Would they stop him from seeing the pretty lady because he hadn’t been listening?
Even amidst the panic, Spencer realized how his thoughts were looping. He recognized the ‘Boy’ trying to creep in and take over. No! I am not him anymore. I’m Spencer. Spencer Reid. Over and over he repeated that litany in the hopes it would help reaffirm his identity. “Yes.” He croaked out in answer. He knew his voice trembled and that they heard it. Neither one said anything, though. Morgan simply reached out and knocked on the door.
After a second there was a muffled voice saying what sounded like ‘come in’. Fear and panic mixed together, morphing into a horrid monster inside of Spencer. He shoved it down when Morgan opened the door and gestured to him. There was confidence and support in Morgan’s gaze. Aaron was also looking at him in total support and understanding. Those gave Spencer the strength to put one foot in front of the other and walk into the hospital room.
His eyes swept the room quickly; a habit he wasn’t able to stop. Hyper vigilance, a form of PTSD his mind supplied. Knowing didn’t stop it, though. He automatically checked to see who was in the room and what the exits were and any areas of threat. It only took a quick second and then his eyes were latched onto the hospital bed.
A woman was there, sitting up in the middle of the bed, legs crossed underneath her. She sat without the support of the lifted back. Dressed in a hospital gown, she still managed to look healthy. Almost happy. Dark hair, almost black, was cropped shorter than it had been when he’d last seen her. Dark brown eyes were focused on him, widening as she did the same thing he was doing; taking inventory of the other. She looked thin, but not as thin as before.
There was a cast on her right wrist. The way she sat suggested injuries to her ribs; Spencer knew there was. He remembered the kick that had put them there. Little half healed bruises and cuts were visible on any exposed skin. He knew it would be worse on her back.
Tension drained from Spencer. He let out a soft breath, a sigh of relief, hearing her let one out as well. Then he was moving toward her. Still, neither spoke. They didn’t need the words. Most of the time in that basement, they hadn’t spoken. It was one of Master’s rules. She wasn’t to talk to the boy without permission. He wasn’t to speak to the pretty ladies unless giving them orders from Master. So, as he had with other pretty ladies, Spencer had perfected the art of not speaking. But this time, she had done so as well. They had shared things with one another without a word.
When he reached the bed, he didn’t think, just reached a hand out. Hers moved at the same time. When their fingers laced together, she offered him a smile. Tears were filling her eyes, leaking down her cheeks in silent rivers. Spencer felt it as the tears slid down his own cheeks as well. She was alive. He had done it. He’d helped save her.
Her eyes said what she wanted and Spencer moved to comply. He climbed easily into her bed, never breaking his hold on her hand. When he was up, she shifted, turning so that they faced one another. Unconsciously they mimicked the poses they had held in their hell. He drew his knees up, wrapping his arms around them. She stayed cross legged, facing him, their hands still loosely linked.
She brought her casted hand up, just enough of her fingers free to push his hair back and tuck it behind his ear. The gesture made her smile grow more.
For a few minutes they just looked at one another. Looked over the injuries on the other person. Looked into a set of eyes that understood hell. In one another was a bond forged by pain and violence. They had lived in hell; witnessed it in one another. They’d seen horrible things and had horrible things done to them. Yet they sat here now, two survivors. Free. Not whole, no, but not fully broken either. Sitting here, each one felt a small broken part inside start to stitch shut.
So much was said and yet still nothing had been spoken. After another long silence, she smiled even more at him. “Hello.” She broke their silence and it seemed perfect. Right. “I’m Cindy Meyers.”
He felt an attempt at a grin tugging at his lips. He knew what she was doing here. “My name is Spencer Reid.”
“It’s nice to finally meet you right, Spencer Reid.”
A real, true smile slid over his lips. “It’s nice to finally meet you right too, Cindy Meyers."
Those words were enough for them. They sat there, just enjoying the feeling of being with one another, of being alive. He knew in that moment that here was a friendship he would never lose. Here was a person who would always be a part of his life. A friend; maybe, one day, even like a sister. They had lived through so much together in such a short time. In a way, she was the only person alive who fully understood what he had gone through.
Not just being told, though. Not just seeing a piece of it here or there. She had witnessed it all firsthand. She had lived through some of it. When he’d been bleeding in the corner, she had mopped his blood off the floor. He had risked his life to save hers. Nothing could break that bond now.
How much time passed, Spencer had no idea. He was content to sit there. More content than he had been in longer than he could remember. The room was silent except for the gentle hum of the machines. Eventually she turned, pulling open the drawer beside the bed. When she’d pulled something out, she closed the drawer again and then turned and handed him a piece of paper. Looking down, he saw the phone number and the address and knew what she was offering. He gave her another of his rare smiles.
Spencer noticed that Cindy’s eyes were growing heavy. With a small gesture of his free hand, he indicated that she should lie down. She did so, letting him scoot so that he sat by her feet, the hand that had been holding hers now resting on her ankle. When her eyes closed, Spencer’s closed as well. As he had done for her before, he sat now, letting the warmth of his hand seep into her ankle, letting her fall asleep knowing that she was safe. He had angled his body while she slept when they were in the basement together so that he could rest his hand on her. The only way it would work was for it to be her feet. So he would stay there, hand on her ankle, watching over her while she slept, waking her if Master came so that she was never fully asleep when he arrived. Never caught unawares.
He listened as her breathing started to even out. Her lips were still curved and her eyes were closed, but he heard the soft sleep filled “Thank you” that she murmured. Then her breathing evened and he knew she was asleep.
For a few minutes more he sat there until a sound at the door alerted him. His body instantly tensed and he almost moved to wake her before he realized that it was only a nurse coming in. That was also when he realized that Morgan and Aaron were on the other side of the room, silently giving him the privacy he had needed for this without leaving him totally alone, something that he appreciated.
The nurse, a matronly looking woman with kind eyes and a gentle smile, walked over and checked the machines by the bed. Then she turned her smile on him. “She’ll be going home in a few days.” She told him in a low voice. “They kept her a little longer than normal because she hasn’t really been eating or sleeping. She’s been too anxious about something.” The kindness in her eyes grew. “I think I know why, now. This is the calmest she’s slept since she arrived.”
There was nothing he could say to that. So he nodded at the nurse, who smiled even brighter in return. She looked over at Cindy, who was still peacefully sleeping. “Why don’t you let her sleep, honey? She sure needs it.”
He could tell that the nurse was right. As much as he wanted to sit here and watch over her, he had to remind himself that it wasn’t his job anymore. She was safe. He didn’t need to be her guard. But it had felt good to see her. To know for sure that she had survived. Gently he stroked his hand over her ankle one last time before unfolding himself from the bed.
His eyes lifted to Morgan, who was smiling at him on the other side of the room. There was no hesitation in Spencer’s step as he walked straight over to him. When they were facing one another, Spencer kept the calm that this room had created in him and he reached out, putting his hand into Morgan’s. The other man said nothing, seeming to understand Spencer’s need for silence.
In the quiet of the room, Spencer gave Morgan and Aaron a true smile. “Let’s go home.” He whispered. And, together, that was what they did. The three men left the hospital room. When they reached the car, Morgan gave Aaron the keys and then pulled Spencer in the back with him .When Morgan lifted his arm, Spencer easily slid underneath it. He had no idea if this peaceful feeling would last. He didn’t know if it was going to change anything. But, right then, he didn’t care. He felt calmer than he had in a long time.
The whole ride home he stayed right there in the curve of Morgan’s arm, his head resting against the older man’s shoulder. It was wonderful. No one commented on the fact that they didn’t stop to eat. The two older men were both thinking they would just order in. This had been too good of a trip to ruin by taking Spencer somewhere that might make him uncomfortable.
Once they reached home, Spencer easily climbed out of the car with Morgan, their hands joining together once again. The contact felt good. It grounded Spencer in ways he hadn’t even realized he needed. That calm was still with him enough that, when they stepped inside the house and saw Garcia talking to a dark haired man, he didn’t panic as he might have before. He nervously slid a little closer to Morgan, yes, but a full blown panic didn’t hit him at the sight of someone he didn’t know. Spencer actually felt a little proud of himself.
That was, until the man turned to look at them. Spencer watched as the man’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. Shock was the first expression Spencer read. It was quickly followed by pain, love, joy, and so many others that he couldn’t even keep track of it.
“Spencer!” the man cried out.
The nerves grew a little, invading his peace. Who was this? How did he know his name? This time he deliberately stepped closer to Morgan. When the man started to move forward, Spencer took a small step back. The man looked confused. “Spencer? Are…aren’t you happy to see me?”
“Who are you?” The words slipped out before Spencer even thought of it. Something about the voice seemed just slightly familiar, but no face popped into his memory. Nothing that was tied to this strange man.
Shock took over the guy’s expression. He looked over at Garcia, who was now chewing her lip, then to Morgan and Aaron before finally settling his gaze on Spencer again. “Who am I? It’s me, man. Ethan.”
Spencer continued to stare at him, quivering when this Ethan took a step forward. “I don’t know who you are.” He said. The whole room fell silent.
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