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What Is and What Should Never Be	By : OpenPage Category: 1 through F > 21 Jump Street Views: 1336 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own 21JS or the characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. All characters and events in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is coincidental.

Chapter List
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Louisa managed to persuade Henry that it would be in Tom’s best interest to commence at Lillydale High School after Presidents’ Day. That gave Tom three carefree weeks to do as he pleased. He enjoyed helping Booker around the farm in any way he could, as that meant he could be close to his lover during the daytime as well as at night. He continued to read every day and was close to finishing To Kill a Mocking Bird. When Louisa noticed a scribbled drawing on the back of an old envelope, she immediately took Tom into town and bought him some art supplies. Whilst they were there, she had also taken him clothes shopping in preparation for his first day back at school. It was the first time since he was a small boy that Tom owned something that was brand new and not one of Doug’s cast-offs. When he came home, Dennis begged him to put on the new clothing so he could see what he looked like in something other than ripped jeans and stained t-shirts. Tears filled Booker’s eyes when Tom stepped out of the bedroom dressed in a pair of khaki cargo pants, a gray sweatshirt and sneakers. A smile played on Dennis’ lips as he noticed the worn bandanna still tied around Tom’s head. Walking over, he gently pulled it off. “You can’t wear that to school,” he teased gently, “People will think you’re a delinquent.”
“So? I don’t give a fuck what they think,” Tom replied sullenly as he tugged at the unfamiliar clothing. “I feel stupid, why can’t I wear my clothes?”

Taking Tom by the hand, Dennis led him over to the couch. Sitting down, he put his arm around his lover and pulled him close so Tom’s head rested on his shoulder. “You want to fit in don’t you?” he asked. When Tom remained stubbornly silent, Booker let out a soft sigh. “This is your second chance Tommy. You can get the education you deserve and mix with people your own age, maybe make some friends and hang out—“
“I don’t need friends,” Tom muttered, “I have you.”
“That’s not the same,” Booker replied, as he lightly toyed with Tom’s hair. “It’ll do you good to spread your wings a little instead of always being with me.”
Jerking away from Dennis’ arm, Tom stared at his boyfriend in disbelief. “I thought you liked having me around! Now you sound like you can’t wait to get rid of me.”
Placing a hand at the back of Tom’s head, Booker pulled him in close. “You know I want you with me,” he murmured lovingly as his lips played lightly over Tom’s pout. “But there’s a big wide world out there Tommy and I want you to experience it.”
Deep down, Tom knew that Booker was right. What Henry and Louisa had offered him was a second chance and he felt incredibly fortunate that two elderly strangers were prepared to take a gamble and give them a safe place to stay, especially after knowing his and Booker’s background. Tom lay back on the couch and playfully pulled Booker on top of him. “Okay,” he conceded with a smile, as Booker’s hot mouth explored his neck whilst his hands found their way under Tom’s sweatshirt so they could stroke and tweak his nipples. “I’ll be a good boy,”
Dennis moaned into Tom’s mouth. “Show me what a good boy you are,” he whispered longingly.
Smiling in amusement, Tom used his hands and mouth to show Booker exactly how good he could be.
**
As the time for Tom to start school drew nearer, the teen’s nerves returned and he became moody and withdrawn. Booker tried his best to reassure his lover that everything would be all right but more often than not, they ended up in an argument. Tom accused Dennis of not understanding how difficult it was for him and Booker accused Tom of overreacting. Louisa’s intuition told her that the boy’s were going through a difficult time, so on the night before Tom started school, she suggested that they eat alone in their own home, rather than in the farm house with her and Henry as they usually did. She cooked a huge meal of roast beef and vegetables, which she carried over to the barn. She immediately noticed Tom’s moody disposition, so after instructing the boys to reheat the food on a low temperature in the oven, she quickly said her goodbyes.
When the barn door had closed, Booker rounded on Tom. “You could have at least tried to be nice. This self pitying bullshit is really starting to piss me off.”
“Yeah?’ Tom replied, his eyes flashing with anger, “You forever telling me to be nice is what’s pissing me off!”
Booker picked up plates and cutlery and banged them down heavily as he set the table. “Do you know what your problem is Tom McQuaid? You’re an ungrateful little shit. Henry and Louisa are offering you an unbelievable chance to make something of yourself and all you do is whine. For fuck’s sake! You really need to start growing up and stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself. So you had a shit life. Well guess what, so did I! You’re not special because your Dad beat and raped you. It happens to hundreds of kids every day and I bet if they were given the opportunity you’ve been given, they’d embrace it, not fucking moan about how hard it is.”
Tom stared back at Booker silently, his hands balled into fists. “Have you finished?” he asked through clenched teeth.
Rubbing his hands roughly over his face in frustration, Booker turned away and checked to see if the food was ready. “Yeah Tommy, I’ve finished. Do what you want, I’m too tired to care.” He heard a loud bang and when he turned back, Tom was gone. Turning off the oven, he checked in their bedroom but there was no sign of his lover. Opening the door to the spare room, he saw Tom curled up on top of the bed. He hesitated a moment before speaking wearily. “Come on Tommy, dinner’s ready.”
“I’m not hungry,” Tom mumbled, his voice sounding teary.
With a sigh, Booker entered the room and sat on the bed. Placing a hand on Tom’s leg, he spoke gently but firmly. “You need to eat.”
“Why?” Tom muttered into the pillow. “It’s not gonna make me any smarter.”
“Is that what’s bothering you?” Booker asked quietly. When Tom did not respond, Booker crawled onto the bed and pulled Tom into his arms. “Oh Tommy,” he breathed as he gently wiped the tears from his lover’s cheek. “I’ve told you before, it’s not that you’re not smart, it’s just that you’ve never been given a chance. But Henry and Louisa are giving you that chance. You may not believe it, but I’m really proud of you.”
Rolling over, Tom turned his tear stained face to Booker. “Really?” he asked shyly.
“Really,” Dennis replied as he kissed Tom’s wet cheek. “Now come and eat something otherwise Louisa will get upset.”
Allowing Booker to lead him from the bedroom, Tom sat at the kitchen table and picked at his food. His stomach had churned itself into a tight knot and he had no appetite. Dennis did not push him, deciding that it was better to leave Tom alone rather than baby him and risk another argument. When Booker stood up and started washing the dishes, Tom did not offer to help. Instead, he walked into their bedroom and shut the door without bothering to say goodnight. For a brief moment, Booker considered storming into the bedroom and telling Tom once again, what he thought of his behavior. However, he decided against it. He hoped that once Tom faced his fear and realized that school was not that bad, everything would return to normal.
Even though he was tired from laboring all day, Dennis sat up until almost midnight watching television. When he finally crawled into bed, Tom was fast asleep. Sighing heavily, Booker turned his back to his lover and closing his eyes, he fell into a troubled sleep.
**
Sitting outside the Principal’s office, Tom nervously fingered his tatty bandana, which he had secreted in his jacket pocket. Louisa had offered to stay with him but Tom had politely declined the invitation, not wanting to appear weak and incompetent. Peering through his long bangs, he studied the students who hurried past on their way to class. All were well dressed in modern clothing and Tom was immediately grateful to Henry and Louisa for spending their hard-earned cash on him in an effort to help him fit in. Several students looked at him as they walked past and Tom immediately lowered his head, too shy to meet their curious stares.
Several minutes later, Principal Ernest Cowen called Tom into his office. Tom’s anxiety level intensified and he felt like vomiting. Clenching his fists, he stood up and followed the head teacher into a spacious room. “Sit down Thomas,” Cowan instructed, before taking a seat on the other side of the desk.
Chewing on his lower lip, Tom had an eerie feeling of déjà vu as he muttered quietly, “It’s not Thomas, it’s Tom.”
Ernest Cowan looked up from the paperwork he had been studying. For several moments he studied the boy in front of him. Although small for his age, Cowan thought he had a look of someone who had seen too much of life and not in a pleasant way. Louisa Henderson had enrolled the boy as her grandnephew but Ernest had doubts as to the validity of that statement. However, as most people regarded Henry and Louisa Henderson as trustworthy pillars of the community, Cowan was prepared to overlook any inconsistencies in the information Louisa had provided about her young relative. In Cowan’s opinion, the teenager in front of him looked as though he needed some gentle guidance and patient teachings to get him on the road to success. Smiling, he offered his apologies, “Sorry Tom. I’m Principal Cowan, welcome to Lillydale High. Now, there are a few formalities we need to take care of as it appears your Great Aunt has misplaced your school records.” Cowan was well aware that Louisa had done no such thing. When he had explained to her during their meeting that he could phone Tom’s previous school and have the records sent through, the elderly woman had visibly paled. It was then that Cowan knew that the Hendersons were hiding something. But he was a fair and compassionate man who did not believe in denying any child an education. Therefore, he had assured Louisa that the records were not necessary.
Tom’s back stiffened as he waited for the Principal to continue. He knew what was coming next. Louisa had explained to him that because of the lack of information regarding his academic achievements, he would have to sit a test to determine which grade he would be best suited to start in. The knot in his stomach squeezed tighter as his blood pressure increased. The pounding in his ears almost prevented him from hearing what Principal Cowan said next. “… so you’ll sit the test and that will give us an idea as to where you are, academically speaking. We offer many programs here at Lillydale that are designed to help those with learning difficulties and—“
“Learning difficulties?” Tom repeated, his face flushing red with anger. “Are you calling me stupid?”
Principal Cowan leaned back in his chair and projected a calming presence. “No Tom, I’m not calling you stupid. If you had let me finish you would know that I was about to add that we also have programs to help students catch up when they have missed a lot of schooling. Your Aunt mentioned that due to family circumstances, you had been unable to attend your old school on a regular basis.”
“Oh,” Tom mumbled, as his blush deepened, this time from embarrassment. “Sorry.”
Smiling, Ernest Cowan stood up. “That is quite all right. I encourage my students to ask questions, it helps to build confidence. Now, let’s find you a quiet space so you can take your test.”
**
It was lunchtime when Tom finally finished taking his exam. He felt tired and he hoped that he had answered enough questions correctly to put him into the mainstream ninth grade. Louisa had packed him a sandwich and an apple so he followed the throng of students out into the quadrangle where he found a secluded table underneath a large pine tree. Sitting down, he ate his sandwich whilst watching various groups of children eating, playing ball and generally fooling around. He felt completely alone and his mind immediately turned to Dennis. In the four months he had known Booker, they had hardly spent any time apart. It suddenly occurred to Tom that Doug would be due for release in a couple of months. It surprised him that he had not realized that it would be so soon. He and Booker had just moved across the country to start a new life but in nine short weeks, Tom would have to go back and find his brother. He wondered if Booker was aware that Doug was nearing the end of his sentence.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not see an attractive blond-haired girl sit down opposite him. He looked up with a start when she spoke. “Hey, are you new here? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”
Tom stared back mutely, too taken aback to speak. “Cat got your tongue?” the girl teased as she smiled at Tom pleasantly before sticking out her hand. “I’m Becca, Becca Ellis and you are?”
Tom shook his head slightly before taking the girl’s hand in his and giving it a light shake. “Tom Curtis,” he replied, remembering to use the name that he and Booker had chosen.
“How old are you?” she asked, her bright blue eyes never leaving Tom’s face.
“Um, fifteen,” Tom mumbled awkwardly.
Becca studied Tom for a moment before stating boldly, “You’re very pretty for a boy, the girls are gonna love you. Do you have a girlfriend?”
Too dumbstruck by the girl’s forwardness to comprehend the question fully, Tom shook his head. Becca smiled as she stood up. “Excellent. See you around Tom Curtis.”
As Tom watched her leave, a small smile graced his lips. He had made his first school friend.
**
Reporting to Principal Cowen after lunch, Tom received the results of his entrance exam. The news was not what Tom wanted to hear and he sat scowling as Ernest advised him of his schedule. He was to start in the eighth grade Make It Up! program which catered for those who had slight learning difficulties or had missed a lot of schooling. Sensing that Tom had not taken the news well, Cowan dismissed him for the day to give him time to come to terms with his new curriculum.
It took Tom over an hour to walk home. He dragged his feet, too depressed to take in the stunning scenery on either side of the roadway. As he walked up the long, winding driveway, Louisa waved to him from the garden and quickly came bustling over. “Tommy dear, why didn’t you get the school to ring me and tell me you were coming home early. I could have picked you up.”
“It’s okay Miz Henderson, I wanted to walk,” Tom replied quietly.
“Silly boy,” Louisa scalded lovingly. “It’s Aunty Lou remember?”
Tom nodded and managed a weak smile. “Sorry Aunty Lou. Do you mind if I go lie down, I’ve got a headache,” he lied.
Louisa reached out and stroked Tom’s pale face. “Are you okay honey? Do you want to talk about it?”
Shaking his head, Tom turned and walked the short distance to the barn. As soon as he had closed the door, his eyes filled with tears. He walked into the bedroom, undressed down to his boxers and crawled under the warm comforter. As he sobbed into his pillow, he heard the front door open and close and moments later Booker had kicked off his boots and was lying beside him, a cold hand gently stroking his face. “Oh baby,” he crooned softly, “Tell me what happened.”
Desperate for comfort, Tom laid his head on Dennis’ chest. “I’m in the fucking eighth grade Booker,” he sobbed with shame. “They put me in some fucking class for people with learning disabilities. It’s bullshit! I don’t want to go back.”
“Are you sure that’s what it is Tom?” Booker asked with care, certain that Tom had misunderstood.
Tom thought about it for a moment, before replying, “Well, he said it was for people with slight learning difficulties and those who’d missed a lot of school, but it’s the same thing.”
Booker laughed aloud and pulled Tom into his arms. “No it’s not you idiot! It just means you have some catching up to do. There’s nothing to be ashamed of Tommy, they’re not labeling you, they’re trying to help you.”
Not liking Booker laughing at him, Tom pulled away, his face sulky. Unwilling to let Tom brood, Dennis leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the nose. Tom tried to refrain from laughing but when Booker did it again, he smiled broadly before pulling his lover into his arms and kissing him heatedly. When they broke apart, Tom gave Booker a serious look. “Are you sure they’re not calling me stupid?” he asked tentatively, wanting to believe his lover but not confident enough in his own abilities to do so.
“I promise,” Booker replied tenderly as he brushed Tom’s hair from his tired face. “Trust me Tommy, if you study hard you’ll soon be ahead of your classmates.”
Tom smiled happily. Maybe Booker’s right, he thought as he lay in his lover’s arms. Maybe this time, everything will okay.
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What Is and What Should Never Be