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To Chase a Feather in the Wind	By : OpenPage Category: 1 through F > 21 Jump Street Views: 1696 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own 21JS or the characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. All characters and events in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is coincidental.

Chapter List
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Lying on the mattress staring up at the ceiling, Tom listened to the hypnotic sound of steady breathing that resonated softly beside him. He could feel the warmth of Booker’s body pressing against him, tranquil in sleep and the aftermath of his orgasmic release. It was a sensory encounter he had shared with many lovers but this time it felt different, this time it was with Booker, the man he had loved for so long, the man he had fought so desperately to save… the man who had raped him.
With a sigh, he gently extricated himself from his lover’s hold and climbed from the mattress. He stood for a moment staring down at Dennis’ beautiful face and he felt an immediate stirring in his groin. “Jesus,” he muttered softly and turning away, he exited the bedroom and closed the door. He desperately wanted a drink but the need for a shower overrode his sudden desire to numb his mind with alcohol. His eyes glanced down at the stain on the front of his denims and he rubbed a shaky hand over his mouth. He had made a mistake, a huge, monumental mistake by allowing his guilt and love for Booker to override his moral compass. The emotional damage his friend had endured had long reaching consequences and jumping head first into a sexual relationship was probably not going to help with his recovery. Dennis needed time, time to forgive himself and time to find his inner strength again because only by doing so, would he finally begin to heal. Conan had cunningly taken away his willpower and independence and Tom was terrified that he thought of him as a replacement, someone to take care of him and tell him what to do, how to think and most worryingly, give him the sexual gratification he so desperately desired. He should have listened to his instincts and allowed time for their friendship to grow instead of acting on his own sexual needs. He had messed up big time and now he had to find a way to tell Dennis that he was not ready to enter into a sexual relationship with him and that they needed to work on their friendship first before they took things further.
A soft moan of frustration escaped his lips and walking into the bathroom, he closed the door. Ignoring his reflection in the mirror, he stripped off his clothes and threw them into the laundry hamper. At that very moment, he hated himself and he knew if he caught a glimpse of his reflection, he would slam his fist into the image staring back at him. It pained him to admit it but Penhall was right, his judgment often became clouded where Booker was concerned and that was his downfall. His feelings were so absolute that when he secretly watched Booker doing the most mundane of tasks, he often found himself forgetting to breathe. The emotion he felt was so overwhelming he found it physically painful and yet mixed in with the intense feeling was the added confusion of loving a man who had raped him. That realization made him question his own sanity and that was not something he was ready to confront.
Stepping into the shower, he turned on the faucets and let the warm water wash away his misgivings. He had made a mistake but it was not too late to rectify it and all he could hope was that Dennis would understand his reasons.
Bowing his head, he started to relax his tense muscles when the door suddenly opened and sent a whisper of cool air into the bathroom, rippling the shower curtain. Wiping the water from his eyes, he peered around the plastic drape and saw Booker standing in the doorway. "Is everything okay?" he asked in surprise.
Dennis gave a nervous smile. "Can I join you?"
A shiver of excitement ran down Tom's spine but he quickly pushed the feeling aside. Averting his eyes from Dennis’ expectant gaze, he let out a soft sigh. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“Oh,” Booker replied dejectedly and turning away, he exited the room.
"Dennis wait," Tom called out, and turning off the faucets, he stepped from the shower. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he pushed his dripping hair from his eyes and hurried into the living room. Grabbing hold of Dennis’ arm, he was surprised when his friend pulled away. “C’mon Dennis,” he beseeched, “don’t be like that.”
Spinning around, Booker glared at Tom angrily. “Like what?” he growled. “An hour ago you’re dry humping me and now you’re giving me the brush off! How the fuck am I supposed to react?”
Tom lowered his gaze to the floor. “You’re right and I’m sorry but—”
Booker’s eyes flashed dangerously. “If you say you’re doing it to protect me I swear to God I’ll ram my fist down your throat,” he replied through gritted teeth.
Tom immediately closed his mouth. “Well?” Booker asked impatiently. “What bullshit excuse are you going to come up with for pushing me away after coming onto me like a dog in heat?”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Tom muttered despondently and flopping down on the couch, he rubbed his hands over his tired eyes. “I’m just scared.”
Booker’s hands clenched into fists. “That I’ll rape you again?” he asked in a strained voice.
Tom shook his head. “No. That it won’t work.”
Some of the anger Booker felt slowly dissipated and sitting down next to Tom, he gave his friend a measured look. “What do you mean, why wouldn’t it work?”
Running a hand through his wet hair, Tom’s lips twitched apologetically and his dark eyes filled with sadness. “Because I don’t completely trust you,” he confessed softly. “I love you Dennis but I’m not sure that’s enough.”
Booker’s heart thudded in his chest and his eyes desperately searched Tom’s face. “What do I have to do to prove to you that I’d never hurt you again?”
Tom chewed anxiously on his lower lip and looked Booker straight in the eyes. “I think we need to get to know each other better before we… well, what I mean is—”
Booker lowered his gaze. “You want to be friends first,” he interrupted with a sigh.
Shuffling across the couch, Tom placed a hand behind Booker’s neck and his fingers absently played with the soft hair at the nape. “Yes,” he declared quietly. “I think we need to spend time together as friends before we take our relationship to the next level. We need to take it slow.”
A long silence drew out between them before Dennis lifted his gaze and peered up through his long, dark lashes. “How slow?” he asked with an impish smile.
At that moment, Booker looked so beautiful that Tom’s breath caught in his throat, but he refused to let his cock rule his head. “Kissing’s okay but nothing more, at least for a couple of months, and I think we should speak to your therapist about us.”
Booker immediately pulled away and a large scowl played over his face. “Why?” he asked brusquely. “Do you want to make sure I’m not crazy before you fuck me?”
Tom covered his face with his hands. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered in frustration. “This is exactly why I think we need to take it slow. You don’t trust me any more than I trust you.”
The realization that Tom was right slowly dawned on Dennis and his lower lip pushed into a petulant pout. “Maybe you’re right,” he conceded moodily, “but I don’t want to discuss our relationship with my therapist. We either work this out ourselves or we don’t do it at all.”
Somewhat surprised by Booker’s ultimatum, Tom took a moment to consider his options. If he pushed Dennis to speak to his therapist, he could end up losing him forever. However, he was not sure that they could have a successful relationship without the advice and intervention of a trained professional. But the more he thought about it, the more he felt himself weakening. He loved Dennis too much to let him go so easily and that meant he needed to compromise.
“Okay,” he surrendered with a sigh, “we won’t speak to your therapist… yet.”
Booker raised his eyebrows. “Yet?” he questioned.
Tom stubbornly stood his ground. “Yeah… yet. I still think we need help overcoming certain things but I’m willing to give it a go first, to see what happens. Okay?”
Although not exactly what Booker wanted to hear, he grudgingly agreed. “Okay,” he muttered but secretly, he knew he would never include Tom in one of his therapy sessions because he was too frightened that if he let his guard down, he would lose him forever. During his therapy with Doctor Mayberry, he had managed to get away with divulging very little about his true feelings, using clever wordplay instead to satisfy both the doctor and Tom. He had become adept at keeping secrets as a way of protecting himself and even though he knew it did not help his recovery, he was too afraid of ridicule to reveal every thought that plagued his mind.
Pushing the thought aside, he gazed up at the clock. “It’s still the middle of the night, are you coming back to bed?”
More than anything, Tom wanted to hold Dennis in his arms and fall asleep breathing in his intoxicating scent but he shook his head. “I have some paperwork to catch up on,” he replied.
Hurt by Tom’s rejection, Booker started to protest but he quickly stopped himself. “Okay,” he muttered and getting to his feet, he began to walk towards the bedroom before stopping and addressing Tom in an uncertain voice. “Can I sleep in your bed?”
Tom’s face relaxed into a smile. “Of course,” he murmured softly. “Get some sleep and I’ll join you in a while.”
Booker nodded and walking into the bedroom, he silently closed the door.
**
4 a.m.
Dressed only in the towel he had wrapped around his waist hours before, Tom silently entered the bedroom and gazed down at Booker’s sleeping face. He had downed a half bottle of whiskey along with several beers and he felt pleasantly intoxicated. Pulling the towel from around his waist, he threw it to the floor and scrabbled around in his bureau drawer. After a minute of searching, he finally pulled out a clean pair of boxers and swaying unsteadily on his feet, he attempted to put them on. When he finally succeeded, he smiled drunkenly to himself and falling onto the bed, he stretched out and let out a contented sigh.
Moments later, a muscular arm circled his waist and a warm body snuggled into him. Rolling onto his side, he gazed into Booker’s sleepy eyes and grinned goofily. “Hey,” he murmured.
Booker wrinkled his nose as alcoholic fumes assaulted his nostrils. “You’ve been drinking,” he muttered drowsily. “I thought you were doing paperwork.”
“Was,” Tom mumbled drunkenly. “I just needed something to help me relax.”
It was on the tip of Booker’s tongue to say, “I could have relaxed you,” but he let the moment pass. Tom had made his intentions perfectly clear and like it or not, he had to respect his decision. However, that did not mean that he would not take advantage of what was within the boundaries and moving in closer, he brushed Tom’s tousled hair from his eyes. “Can I kiss you?”
Tom bit down seductively on his lower lip. “Are you making a pass at me ‘cause I’m drunk,” he breathed in a husky voice.
“Maybe,” Booker grinned. “But you said kissing’s okay so…”
“So kiss me,” Tom moaned and his eyes fluttered closed in anticipation.
Booker did not need to be asked twice and leaning forward, he pressed his lips against Tom’s partially opened mouth. A moist tongue eagerly entwined with his own and the sour aftertaste of whiskey mixed with his saliva, bringing his taste buds to life. But it was not unpleasant, it was powerful and masculine and it made him want to devour Tom even more.
His fingers traveled down the smooth skin of Tom’s back and slipping inside the waistband of his boxers, he gave the firm butt cheek beneath his fingers a playful squeeze. Tom groaned into the kiss and thrusting his pelvis forward, he pressed his hardening erection against Booker’s own growing cock. “This isn’t gonna work,” he gasped breathlessly as he sucked excitedly on Booker’s lower lip. “We need to stop.”
“Or we could just go with it,” Booker moaned into Tom’s hot mouth, his needs becoming more frantic as each second passed.
“I don’t… wanna… ruin… our chances… of a proper… relationship,” Tom panted, but his body continued to grind against Dennis’, making his protestations meaningless. “We need… to take it… slow.”
“Fuck taking it slow,” Booker asserted and pushing Tom onto his back, he trailed his tongue up the long column of his throat, savoring the sweet taste of his skin. “What’s wrong with touching?”
All reason left Tom’s mind as Booker continued to nip and suck at his throat. He was weak, he hungered for contact and at that moment, all he wanted was to feel Booker’s fingers wrapped around his cock. “Nothing,” he moaned. “Touch me… oh God Dennis touch me.”
“Tommy,” Booker groaned excitedly and sliding his hand around the inside of Tom’s boxers, he released his cock and ran his fingers up the hard shaft.
Tom’s hips bucked forward and tangling his fingers in Booker’s dark hair, he kissed him passionately. “Yes,” he gasped against Dennis’ mouth, “God yes!”
Booker wrapped his fingers around Tom’s cock and slowly moved his hand up and down the length of his erection. “Faster!” Tom exclaimed breathlessly. “Faster, faster, faster!”
Breaking the kiss, Booker stilled his hand and gazed down into Tom’s dilated pupils. “Stroke me,” he requested in a husky voice. “I wanna come with you.”
Tom’s eyes flashed with desire but in that moment, he also felt a flicker of apprehension. “Are we doing the right thing?” he asked uneasily.
Without hesitation, Booker’s hand began to move back over Tom’s erection. “Does it feel wrong?” he asked mischievously.
A low groan of pleasure escaped from between Tom’s lips. “Nooo,” he moaned as he squirmed beneath Booker’s touch. “It feels… so… good.”
Leaning forward, Booker gently tugged at Tom’s hooped earring with his teeth. “Then we’re doing the right thing,” he murmured softly.
Tired of being the sensible one, Tom gave into his desires and wrapping his fingers around Booker’s cock, he started to jerk him off.
Heavy breathing resonated throughout the room as the two men sought comfort in each other’s bodies. Tom’s orgasm hit first and with a cry of delight, he ejaculated over Dennis’ fingers. Moments later, Booker shuddered out his release, covering his stomach and Tom’s fingers in warm, sticky semen. Both men struggled to catch their breath, but as a post-climactic calm finally washed over them, Tom sank back against the pillow and pulling Booker into his arms, he kissed him tenderly. When the kiss finally ended, Dennis laid his head against Tom’s chest and closed his eyes. Through subtle manipulation and perseverance, he finally had what he wanted; he and Tom were now a couple and a new chapter in his life was beginning, which hopefully meant laying the past to rest.
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To Chase a Feather in the Wind