Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You | By : girltype Category: 1 through F > Dark Angel Views: 5197 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Dark Angel, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Author’s Note: Howdy my little friends…still trying to think of stuff to say. It’s been a while since I wrote this story so I can’t really say how the writing process is excruciating. Though it was.
Review it makes me feel complete and loved and other gooey things.
Has Ae Eve Ever Written Anything for You?
Chapter 3: Into the deep
~*~
I just wanted you to comfort me
When I called you late last night you see
I was falling into love
Yes I was crashing into love
Of all the words you said to me
About "Life," "the Truth," and "Being Free"
Yeah you sang to me, Oh how you sang to me
Girl I live for how you make me feel
So I question all this being real
Cause I’m not afraid of love
For the first time I’m not afraid to love
This day seems made for you and me
And you showed me what life needs to be
Yeah you sang to me, Oh you sang to me
All the while you were in front of me
I never realized I just can’t believe,
~ Anthony Marc, "You sang to me"
~*~
When he had finally let his hands fall from her waist, the loss of his warmth left her back feeling cold; she had the sudden urge to whimper. He shifted slowly from foot to foot as he looked down at her. Looking into his eyes for a brief moment she had the feeling that he was lost. "If you want, you could always come up and, I don’t know, hang around for alittle while. I mean, only if you want to." He smiled at himself, looking for all the world like a little boy.
"I’m kind of tired." Max looked down at her hands gripping the handles of her bike. "Maybe…maybe some other time."
"Yeah, that sounds good. Bye." He waved before he turned to make his way to his apartment. He dragged his feet across the threshold, feeling very alone when he looked at the sparse furnishing. Shaking his head softly he closed the door and headed for the large stash of liquor. Kicking his shoes of while he poured a shot of bourbon he sighed loudly. Half way through nursing the glass there was a knock on the door. His head snapped around and his brows pulled together in confusion. "Hmm. " Padding quietly to the door he made a quick mental assessment of the weapons that he had at hand. Deciding that it wasn’t going to be a problem he pulled the door open and froze in his tracks.
Leaning against the doorframe was Max, looking small and hesitant. She watched him for a long moment before shrugging her shoulders self-consciously. "I ah…might have changed my mind about not hanging around for little while. If the offers still open, I’d like to."
"Yeah, it’s still open." His voice rumbled softly as he stepped away from the door to let her in. Closing it behind her he was suddenly smiling; pleased.
"I can smell bourbon, care to share?" She smiled winningly up at him.
"Didn’t I get onto you earlier about not sharing with me? Doesn’t seem very fair."
"Oh get off it, Alec!" She laughed before motioning him to get her some. "Maybe you should just go ahead and bring the bottle. I’m thinking getting dunk is hard for us, but I’m willing to give it the good old college try." She plopped down onto the only piece of furniture in his living room, a dingy old green recliner.
"We didn’t go to college."
"No, we went to Manticore. That, right there, is a good enough reason to get rip roarin’ drunk." She laughed again as he got the bottle and went ahead and brought down two more bottles of the amber liquid as well as two that looked like they held water. Max found herself wondering why he had so much alcohol on hand.
"I keep it around for when I can’t stop thinking," he said quietly, reading her mind and not looking at her as he handed her two of the bottles.
"Oh." She thrack ack the bottle letting it burn a fiery trail down her throat to settle in her stomach. She watched as he sat down gracefully on the floor folding his legs underneath him, and rested his back against the armrest of the recliner. Closing her eyes she dropped her head back onto the headrest, dragging a breath in between her teeth. When she opened her eyes she idly contemplated the cracked off-white ceiling. "I keep wondering about Logan and Asha, like how could he not want her, she can touch him and I can’t." Her voice low she sighed and was sliding her body off the recliner so that she was sitting next to Alec; an inch of air separating their shoulders her knees drawn up to her chest as she took liberal doses of bourbon.
"I keep wondering why you want to stay with him, for about the same reason. Other people can touch you when he can’t." His pink lips pursed as he ran a hand through his hair.
"I love him, I’m pretty sure."
"You’re ty sty sure? Has it ever occurred to you that if you and Logan were meant to be together fate would stop pushing you apart?"
Max glared at him. "No, not at all. Thanks for rubbing it in." She downed the last of the bourbon holding back tears that no soldier would allow herself to cry. She forgot to remind herself that she wasn’t a soldier.
"Don’t get mad at me for this crap!"
"Hey, you’re the reason we can’t touch!"
"Yeah, well if you really loved him you wouldn’t be saying you’re ‘pretty sure.’ Trust me!" Biting her tongue she kept herself from spitting out the words ‘How would you know?’ Because she knew already. In a quiet voice that had lost its anger, "he’s crazy if he thinks Asha can replace you."
"I don’t think so." Suddenly she was pouting into her emptttlettle finally feeling the effects of the drink.
Reaching back Alec brought forward a bottle of foul smelling vodka and placed it infront of her. "You would."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Nothing." He dropped his head back against the armrest, his breathing harsh as he started his own bottle of vodka.
Craning her neck to once again contemplate the many cracks in the ceiling she sniffled softly. "What can’t you stop thinking about?" Her voice was just a whisper but she knew that Alec heard her.
When no answer came she lifted her head; he was staring at the wall the bottle of vodka clutched in his left hand the right one was tracing circles on the knee of his pants. When she started desperately trying to find something, anything, to say to relieve the tension in the room he spoke. His voice was deep and thoughtful as he kept his eyes trained on some piece of the wall that had suddenly become fascinating. "Lots of stuff. Mostly how my life seems to be nothing but one really big punishment."
"Punishment for what?" Another shot of vodka went down before he answered.
"I don’t know. I lost Rachel…" His voice cracked softly when he said her name. "I lost her because I didn’t fight. I didn’t do anything." Another shot of vodka and Max knew he was trying to think of a way to explain himself. That’s when Max realized they had finally started to get alittle more than tipsy. The two X5s had never really talked about Rachel, Alec preferred to deal with it on his own. "I keep remembering little things…like she had beautiful hands…they were so soft…and she smelled like honey." Max had started on her vodka, trying to choke back the emotions that his broken voice stirred. "I’ll be standing there minding my own business when I’ll…smell her. It’s like she haunts me with her scent." He laughed at himself softly. "That sounds so stupid. I’m supposed to be smart and I’m talking about some…girl…haunting me by my sense of smell."
Max had to swallow past the lumps in her throat. "It’s not stupid. Sometimes, I’ll wake up feeling Logan’s hands on my face. It’s what I miss the most." She laughed, more of an exhaling of air, but a laugh none the less. "Don’t get me wrong, I miss the kissing. I miss kissing a lot, among…other things, but it’s the human contact that I crave. I got so used to being able to touch his hand and I never realized how important that was." Looking down at her hands full of the bottle of vodka she ignored the searching look Alec was shooting her. "On nights when I wake up like that…I want to be held so badly it…hurts."
Finally looking up into his dark blue eyes she found it hard to breathe when he smiled slightly. "You can always call me, Maxie." Max couldn’t tell whether he was joking or not.
Deciding that the best course of action would be to take it as a joke she forced an answering smile. "Leave it to you to try and cop a feel when we’re having a heart to heart."
Holding his hands up in mock defense he laughed, "we just established that the heart isn’t the only thing that needs to be touched." She lightly backhanded his arm, holding back laughter. "See you’re so desperate you resort to beating me up just so you can touch me."
"You just never stop, do you?"
"When you stop, you have to start thinking. One of the reasons I have the liquor is that when I’m here I have to stop." Hitting his head softly on the armrest over and over Max once again got the over-whelming feeling that he was lost. Suddenly her hand shot out and cupped the back of his head before he could hit it a sixth time. He turned to look at her with wide eyes her hand slipping from the back of his head to rest against his cheek for a long moment, the feel of his skin sending a shock wave through her, before she let it fall to her lap.
"You don’t deserve to be punished. I never understood why Zack thought we should go, not until I was out. You di kno know, you couldn’t have known anything else but Manticore." She smiled shakily as she watched his eyes trace the curves of her hands where they rested around the neck of her bottle. "I’m still trying to figure it out, you’ve only been out for a few months, I’ve been out for years."
"Ever feel like if you close your eyes for ten seconds you’ll wake up back at Manticore?" He asked while absently picking at the carpet.
"Sometimes I have nightmares that I’m back there."
"So do I." He stopped moving; every muscle in his body froze, his eyes stared off into space not even seeing the wall anymore. He looked like he was seeing ghosts and Max figured he probably was. "I’ll have nightmares where I’m in Psy Obs, or when they put me in solitaire, or…" His voice dropped off and he coughed softly into his hand. "I miss Manticore sometimes…" he held up a hand to stop Max from saying anything before he went on. "I miss not having to think. I mean, it was easier to not have to care, I did care but not all the time. I miss it for a second only, and then I remember everything we had to do, or someone will smile at me and wave and I hate myself for missing it." He took in a shaky breath, feeling it rattle softly in his chest.
Max didn’t know what to say so she didn’t say anything. She just watched him; watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, watched as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. She had been there, missing the discipline and then hating herself for it. She remembered the words Alec had thrown at her, ‘You can’t understand, you weren’t there. You ran…You and your little rugrat brothers and sisters. You think life was rough when we were ten? A little schooling, little brainwashing, somneuvneuvers outside; you think that was tough? Take it from me later on it got a whole lot worse.’ She suddenly knew it was true. She didn’t even know how hard things got after the escape.
"I wonder if the people in Psy Obs knew what they were talking about."
Her eyes narrowed slightly, "what do you mean?"
While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.
Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!
Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo