You Knew What You Were Getting Into

You Knew What You Were Getting Into, 3/?
by Scribe

Chapter Three
Certainty

Six Months Later

"Hey Ares, let's try something different," said Joxer. "How about YOU screw ME this time?"

"Nice try, Joxer. Now, are you going to hand me the oil, or are you going to make me think some up?" Joxer flopped back on the bed and pulled a pillow over his face. Ares stretched out beside him, saying calmly, "You know, that isn't at all flattering."

Voice muffled, Joxer spoke from beneath the pillow. "Don't get me wrong, Ar. I LOVE fucking you, but dammit, it's gotten to be a steady diet. And I don't care how prime your rump roast is--when that's all you get, you get hungry for a little chicken or pork."

"Joxer, neither one of us is chicken, and if you're interested in porking something..." Joxer groaned. "You're right. I've spent too much time with Strife lately, but I thought that maybe he could give me some tips on getting knocked up."

Joxer moved the pillow and peered at him. "I'd have paid to hear that conversation."

"The only tip he could give me was to get screwed as often as possible..."

"Which you've been doing."

"And to relax and let Nature take its course. I'm about ready to go have a talk with Gaia."

"Go on. She'll just laugh and then set you to weeding, or something." Joxer sighed, then rolled on top of Ares. "It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it."

"Look, if it's become a chore..."

Joxer kissed him. "Shut up. I just like to bitch occasionally. It's nice to have someone who actually listens to me after all those years of bouncing words off Gabrielle and Xena." Joxer squirmed against Ares, doing an excellent snake imitation. They were both totally erect very quickly. Then Joxer dipped his fingers in the bowl of sweet smelling oil on their bedside table. "Assume whatever position turns you on." Ares smiled, then lifted his legs quickly, almost acrobatically, and hooked his knees over Joxer's shoulders. "If your back can take it, I'm all for it." He reached down and probed carefully but firmly. "As often as we've done this lately, I'm almost surprised that we still need to do this each time." Joxer moved closer, getting in possition, then pushed forward. Ares purred, and Joxer groaned. "And you keep accusing Hercules of being the tight ass in the family."

It was a long, slow joining. It pretty much had to be. Several months of vigorous fucking, two or three times a day, will wear out even a god. But what Joxer might have lacked in vigor, he made up in dedication and love. One side benefit of the experience in screwing that he'd accumulated lately was how to conserve enough breath to actually speak coherently during coitus. Ares was considering trying to talk Joxer into a gag, so that he could concentrate. But what Joxer was saying now made him a little ashamed of the thought. Joxer said, "Ar, do you remember the very first time we did this?"

"Do you mean the first time we had sex, or the first time we did..." he squeezed, wringing a happy groan from his partner, "THIS?"

"Buh-both."

"First time ever was in the bathing pool. First time for this," he reached up and stroked Joxer's face, "was our wedding night."

"You remember what it was like, so special?"

"It's always special with you, Joxer."

Joxer kissed Ares again. "I love doing this, and I love you, but damn it, Ar--I want that, too." He bent his head and nipped at Ares' collarbone. "I love being inside you, but I love having you inside me just as much. Can't we have that every now and then? We've been trying so hard to get you pregnant... Remember that Strife said to relax? Maybe we're trying too hard."

Ares reached around, grabbing Joxer's ass and pulling him in even tighter, squeezing. "All right, lover. Maybe you're right. Scribe has that saying about a watched pot not boiling, so maybe if we... Oooo." He arched as he climaxed, his come spraying Joxer's belly. "Next one of those you get to catch."

Joxer grunted, and came in a short flurry of strokes, then collapsed on top of Ares. "Thank you, Hot Stuff."

Ares chuckled, running his hands lazily down Joxer's back. "Does this mean that you're going to be willing to pretend to be either Jett or Jayce if I ask?"

"Jayce. I can do Jayce, but if I was going to be realistic and pretend to be Jett, I'd have to fight with you before you could top me." He rolled his eyes up thoughtfully. "You know, I bet Scribe would be interested in seeing that. She's a nice woman, but she's got a really kinky mind."

"Bless her." Joxer rolled off Ares and snuggled against his side. Ares embraced Joxer and stared up at the ceiling, frowning slightly. "Joxer? How did you know when you were pregnant?"

"Hmm. Well, looking back, it was about a month after I ate the ambrosia." He pinched Ares' hip. "I think it happened in the garden, by the way. I guess I should have known when I started upchucking every morning, but that didn't happen for another month-and-a-half, two months. I thought I just had some sort of divine bug, but then it didn't go away, and I just felt... odd. Then... You know that time we talked in the garden about how I wanted to find out what my godhood was, how I wanted to do something? You knew I was feeling whoopsie, and were a little worried, but I told you to go on inside, it would pass?" He looked at Ares expectantly. Ares nodded. "I felt it... felt HIM move. And I knew. I knew that nothing was ever going to be the same again, and I was glad. So, all in all, I was... um... three months along before I was sure."

"That sounds about right."

"Yeah. Some women claim that they can tell earlier. I guess it's true, but with guys I suppose it's harder, since we don't have any monthlies to count from."

They were quiet for another moment, then Ares said, "Joxer?"

"Hm?"

"I threw up this morning." Joxer raised his head and stared at Ares. Ares continued to look up at the ceiling. "In fact I've thrown up each morning for about two weeks now."

"Ar?"

"And yesterday I caught myself eating pickled cabbage."

"That stuff that you claimed had to be one of Strife's inventions?"

"And I mixed mint and mustard into it."

Joxer sat up abruptly. "Oh, Zeus!" He rolled out of bed, and was dressed before his feet hit the floor. "Get dressed!"

Ares blinked at him. "Don't you usually like to bask in the afterglow?"

"This is no time to joke." Joxer waved his hand.

When Ares pushed the sheets down he found that he was dressed--in loose linen rather than leather. "Oh, no WAY!" He flicked his hand and his clothes changed to his normal outfit. "I'm going to need those soon enough--I'm not getting into maternity clothes till I HAVE to. And why, pray tell, do I have to get dressed at this time of night?"

"We're going to see Ace."

"What?"

"And maybe Apollo. I can drop you off with Ace, then go get him."

"Joxer--IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT."

"And Ace said we were to see him THE SECOND we suspected you were knocked up." Joxer shook a finger at him. "And you've been hiding it! ARES!"

Ares blinked at him mildly. "Well, damn, Joxer. I wasn't sure till... I'm STILL not really sure. I mean, there's no objective evidence, and..."

"SUSPECT! That means if you have even a hint of an inkling of an idea that it MIGHT POSSIBLY have a chance to be so." He stopped, panting.

"You had to take a deep breath to get that all out, didn't you? I get the idea. You sure we can't wait till morning? I mean, if I AM pregnant, the baby isn't going anywhere."

Joxer put his face close to Ares' and growled, "Not if we make sure that nothing is wrong."

Ares studied Joxer, seeing the worry, pride, and joy mingled in his eyes. His expression softened, and he nodded, saying quietly, "Yes, Joxer."

Some of the tension went out of Joxer's posture. He went to Ares and took him in his arms. "You really think this might be it?"

Ares nodded. "I do. I feel..." He hesitated. "Joxer, you know how much my family means to me, and how connected I feel to you all? Well, lately I've been feeling... not alone." He gave Joxer a helpless look, hoping that he hadn't sounded as if he were belittling the people in his life.

"Oh," said Joxer softly. "Yes. I remember that." He laid a hand lightly on Ares' belly. "There's going to be times that you'll think you would cut your throat to be alone again, but those times pass quickly. The good times when you KNOW you aren't alone will outweigh them by a long shot." He pressed his forehead to Ares' then said, "You know, if you ARE pregnant, then you need your rest. Flying off somewhere in the middle of the night can't be good for you. Why don't we go back to bed, and we can go see if we can interrupt Apollo's breakfast tomorrow?"

Ares sighed, then smiled, and there was a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Tempting, buuut... Ace said right away, and he can be really pushy when it comes to someone else's health. Let's go to Apollo's place first. I trust Ace not to have let it slip, and I can't wait to see the look on 'Pol's face."

~*~

Joxer and Ares transported to the outer audience room of Apollo's temple. It had taken Joxer a little while to persuade his husband not to just appear in Apollo's private bedroom. "Sure it would be a hoot, but have a little consideration for whatever Muse he was with at the time. And you know he's been trying to get Scribe into the sack. Not that I think he'll succeed, but can you imagine what SHE'D do if interrupted and embarrassed? The smut featuring you might suddenly become very unflattering."

The formal room was nearly empty--the only person in evidence was a quite young priest, and he was playing a flute. The sweet music cut off on a very sour note as the two gods appeared. For a moment, the young man stared at them, instrument still held to his lips. Then he laid it aside with a clatter and leaped to his feet, bowing deeply. "Lord Ares, Lord Eirini. How may I serve you?"

"By going and rousting Ace and my brother out of bed," said Ares. "We need to see them." The priest bit his lip, hesitating. "Well? Why aren't you moving?"

"My lord, it... it's very late."

"Actually, it's very early. I believe it's past midnight. You're still standing there."

"I'm sure that Asclepius will be happy to consult with you, but lord Apollo has made it known that he would be very displeased to be disturbed for anything but the gravest emergency."

"And?"

"Well... Neither of you is bleeding."

Ares gritted his teeth. "Let me put it to you this way: who would you rather have to face when they're pissed off--me, or Apollo?"

"I'll be right back." The man left so quickly that his robes fluttered.

Joxer elbowed Ares. "You're not fooling me. You're in too good a mood to have done anything bad to that man."

"Yes, but let's not let on. I have a reputation to protect, and that isn't going to be easy when I start to show."

They made theirselves comfortable. They were a little surprised when Apollo was the first to arrive, coming out of the hallway that led back to the private quarters. For once his toga did NOT drape perfectly, and he was yawning, rubbing a hand through his hair. Joxer giggled, and he glared at him. "What's so amusing?"

"Bed hair."

"For a reason--I was sleeping peacefully. What the Tartarus do you two want now?"

"An examination," said Ares.

"Oh, for...! As if you couldn't have WAITED? What sort of twinge do you have that was so urgent..."

"How about a suspected pregnancy?"

Apollo got still, expression becoming at once pleased and businesslike. "Well, that's different. You're right, given the abruptness of the last birth, this should be managed right from the start. Joxer, there's no telling when another priest might wander in, and I'm guessing you two want to keep it quiet for awhile, so follow me back to an exam room." He started toward the hall, with Joxer and Ares following. Apollo paused. "Ares, you can wait here. You still get a little antsy whenever I pay too close attention to Joxer, and I don't need to be distracted right now."

Ares folded his arms. "All right." They started off again. "But it's going to be a little harder for you to examine me from another room."

Apollo didn't exactly screech to a halt--he hadn't been going quite fast enough for that. He DID whip around so quickly that an Etruscan dancer would have died of envy. "WHAT?"

Joxer made patting motions, urging quiet. "Sh! You'll wake Cerberus with that noise. You're kind of right about us not wanting this to be common knowledge just yet, so please stop shouting."

"I'M NOT SHOUTING! I mean, I'm not shouting. But gah, guys--you can't just drop an explosive like this and expect me to be blase about it." Apollo walked over to Ares, studying him closely. He took a full turn around his brother, looking him up and down. Ares stood patiently. Normally he didn't like being peered at too closely (not unless it was Joxer, and they were about to have sex), but he knew that this was necessary.

Finally Apollo said, "How far along do you think you are?"

"Two and a half, three months."

"AND YOU'RE JUST NOW COMING TO ME?"

"Haven't I heard somewhere that stress is bad for pregnant people?"

"It's just that I can't believe you'd take a step like this without discussing it with someone. Male pregnancy is still in its infancy, if you'll pardon the horrendous pun."

"We have," said Joxer. "We've been talking with Ace for the last few months."

Apollo got very quiet. "You have?"

Joxer nodded. "And he's just about given us all the pertinent lectures, I think."

"I see."

Ace, looking a little more put together than his father, but still yawning, entered the room. "Okay, here I am. What's so urgent that...?" He saw who was waiting, and stiffened. "Ares! What's wrong? Is it...?"

Apollo rounded on him, hissing, "And precisely WHEN were you planning on telling me about this? At the naming ceremony, perhaps?"

Ace raised his hands in appeasement. "Dad, they asked me to keep quiet. You know that I couldn't in good conscience tell anyone."

"How many times do I have to tell you--when it comes to health, privacy goes out the window."

"Yes, but there ISN'T a danger to his health. I've been monitoring him ever few weeks, and he's doing fine." Ace looked at Ares, smiling. "So, does this mean what I hope it means?"

"It might," said Ares. "I think so, but you have to remember that I don't have any past experience to judge by. That's why I came to you boys. Will you please stop sniping at each other and tell me whether or not I'm going to have to fight Dite for the right to dress another child?"

Apollo flexed his fingers, shaking back the sleeves of his toga. "Let's do this right. I don't want any doubts, and I damn sure don't want any mistakes. Son, you scan him, too, and we'll compare findings. Ready?"

Ace twisted his shoulders, as if loosening up. There was a determined look on his face. "Let's go."

The two healing gods stood on either side of Ares, and extended their hands toward him. Ace closed his eyes, but Apollo kept his wide open, his gaze never wavering from his older brother. There was a lot of tension and sibling rivalry in the Olympic family, but Apollo would never let that interfer with giving the best care possible to someone who needed him.

Joxer felt the slight electrostatic buzz that so often came when a deity exercised their power. It was stronger than usual now, because there were two divinities, and both of them were really focused on what they were doing. Joxer squinted at them, concentrating on trying to detect the power that he knew had to be swirling around the trio. He saw a faint yellow glow surrounding them. He blinked, then peered even closer. Was that a pink tint just over Ares' belly? He wished Accord was here. Their son was a lot better at reading power signatures than anyone on Olympus.

Finally both Apollo and Asclepius drew almost simultaneous breaths, and dropped their hands. The two exchanged glances, and both smiled. Apollo said, "Well, judging from your expression we've both come to the same conclusion, but go on and say it out loud."

Ace gripped Ares' hand and shook it. "Congratulations, and try not to give it a family name. That's always so confusing."

Joxer whooped, both fists shooting up toward the ceiling in triumph. Ares said dryly, "Yes, yes--you're King Stud."

Joxer strutted back and forth a few steps. "You gotta admit, there aren't many people who've gotten the God of War knocked up."

"There's precisely ONE, as you well know."

Apollo rolled his eyes. "Great. Another person to pick out natal day and solstice presents for." Then he grinned and gave Ares a one-armed hug. "I never thought I'd see the day. Tartarus, the idea never entered my head."

"Yeah, well--the thought would have been lonesome." But there was no sting in Ares' comment. Though there'd been some antagonism between the two brothers (especially when Apollo had expressed an interest in Joxer before he and Ares were joined), now Ares' tone held only good-natured teasing.

"Would you like to know the baby's sex?" asked Ace.

"NO!" It was a duet.

"I'm sorry--I don't want to seem ungrateful, guys," said Ares, "but we knew when Joxer was expecting, and I'd kind of like this one to be a surprise."

Apollo shrugged. "You're choice, dude. Ace, why don't you go get...?"

"Vitamins. Back in a flash." He hurried out.

Apollo turned back to Joxer and Ares. "I want you to get back and get to bed--and REST!" He shook a finger at Joxer. "There'll still be a lot of time for nookie before he gets too far along, and I want him to get at least eight or nine hours of sleep out of every twenty-four--hopefully at night, though he'll probably end up needing naps."

"Tell me about it," said Joxer. "I almost fell asleep in my lunch a couple of times."

Ace returned and handed Ares a small pouch and a jar. "Take one of these every morning. I'll probably give you others later in your pregnancy. And I brought you some extra ambrosia. Eat that before you go to bed, and I want you to have at least a little every day, and stop making faces. I happen to know that you shoveled a wagon load of that down Joxer when he was carrying Accord."

Ares accepted the directions with remarkably good grace, and he and Joxer left. For a moment Apollo and Asclepius just grinned at each other. Finally Apollo said, "You know, I really didn't mind being woke up. It's kind of nice for a healer to get good news."

Ace nodded. "I know that they don't want to know if it's a boy or a girl, but... Well, you checked, didn't you?"

"Didn't YOU?"

"Of course I did. What do you take me for? After all, YOU trained me. But it's still very small, and rather unformed. I'd like to be sure that my impression is right, and you've had a lot more experience in these things. Which is it?"

Apollo whistled, then said, "Let's just say that Ares worrying about having to fight Dite over the child's wardrobe is entirely justified..."

"Dad, that could hold true for a boy OR a girl. Dite's been known to try to put her kids in outfits that Jayce would find effiminate."

"Okay, I'll rephrase that. This time the kid might not have too many objections."

"Again you're being obscure. Eris is female, and if Dite tried to get her into one of her outfits..."

"Boobs, not balls, okay? Gah, you have no subtlety sometimes."

Ace smiled. "Thought so. And I am SO not letting them talk me into giving her the 'you'll soon be becoming a woman' speech..."