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Caged	By : Lily1186 Category: Supernatural > Slash - Male/Male Views: 11418 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Caged

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own anything Supernatural related. Sucks doesn�t it?

Pairings: Sam/Dean, Wincest. Hope this is enough to get you coming back for more.

Summary: Sam and Dean resolve their problems the old fashioned way.

Author�s note: Here�s chapter 3. I have no idea how much longer I can keep this up but my muse hasn�t run out on me just yet so I�ll do my best to continue updating often. This might get a little confusing because it won�t let me do my little dividers so it all sort of runs together. Sorry, I�m rambling. I�ll just let you read and find out for yourself. Have fun...

Chapter 3- And They Say Violence Doesn�t Solve Anything

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Dean watched the silhouette of Sam�s chest rise and fall in the early morning light. Sam had fallen asleep about five minutes after he had closed his eyes out of sheer emotional exhaustion but Dean hadn�t been that lucky. Instead, he had been drowning in his thoughts for the past two hours.

Nothing he could come up with would explain why he had treated Sam so horribly. At the time, he had thought that he was doing the right thing. He had convinced himself that if he hurt Sam now then he couldn�t hurt him worse later. Now....

Now he wasn�t so sure. He sighed in frustration as he rolled over again, this time staring at the ceiling. However, when that raised bad memories he rolled over onto his side and stared at the open bathroom door instead.

The broken tiles from the sink still littered the floor and he vaguely wondered whether the motel would charge them for the damage. Then he remembered that him and Sam would be long gone before they even checked the room, and since they had used false ID�s when they signed it there would be no way to track them down.

Dean continued to stare at the tiles for another five minutes before he decided that if he wasn�t going to be getting any sleep he might as well get his ass out of bed. So, throwing the covers off, he sat up and swung his legs over the side. For a moment he just sat like that. Feet pressed firmly to the floor and hands on either side of him. Then, without warning, he was running for the bathroom and puking his guts out all over the inside of the ceramic toilet bowl.

**************

After about three minutes he realized that he had nothing left to throw up and he attempted to make his way to the sink stumbling dangerously along the way. Finally his hands found purchase on the leaning sink and he braced himself as firmly as he could without ripping the cheap thing off its few remaining hinges. He cupped some of the water that dribbled out when he turned on the tap and used it to clean out the taste of bile in his mouth. When he finished doing that he turned on the bathroom light and began collecting his few scattered belongings from off the lip of the tub.

He didn�t have very much to pack up so after he had shoved what he had grabbed into one of the bags by the bathroom door he pulled some not-quite-so dirty clothes out of one of his other bags and cautiously threw them on.

His eyes flew to Sam�s form occasionally, watching to see if he would wake up and start screaming at him about what an asshole he was. God how he hoped that Sam would scream at him.

Instead when Sam awoke a few minutes after Dean had finished dressing he didn�t say anything at all. He ran his shell-shocked eyes around the room briefly and when they took purchase of Dean packing he stood up silently and began to do so as well. Dean could only stand there helplessly and watch as his brother moved stiffly around the room with a sad, vacant expression on his face. Dean had no idea what he could say to Sam to make everything right again, so he said the first thing that came to his mind.

�Checkout�s at 11.� He flinched as soon as the words left his mouth. Sam just nodded slightly and went back to packing. Dean sighed and quietly walked up behind Sam who was continuing to pack. He made sure to leave at least 10 feet between them on the unlikely chance that Sam might take a swing at him.

He reached his hand out tentatively but stopped just short of Sam�s shoulder when a quiet voice broke the silence. �Don�t.�

He pulled his hand back as if he had been burned and he knew that if Sam had been looking at him at that exact moment he would have seen the hurt flash through Dean�s eyes. Lucky for Dean, Sam still had his back turned and was continuing to go about his business.

Dean resigned himself to cradling his hands by his sides and steeling himself. He knew he had to say something, anything, to get Sam to talk to him again. He just had no idea what it was going to be. He almost gave up trying anything and had started to turn and walk away when he stopped.

Sam and Dean had been in fights before, lots of fights actually, and Dean had never backed down once. �So why the hell should I start now?� he thought venomously to himself. He knew that he couldn�t stand riding in a car with a pissed off twenty-two year old for twelve hours and damn if he was going to do it without having some say about it first.

Of course a small part of him realized that last night he had shredded Sam into little bits and pieces and that he had no right to talk to him about anything unless it was to beg for forgiveness. However, the other half of him was sick of having Sam mad at him and thought that he could fix it the way he usually did. With a few smart remarks and a defensive attitude.

The problem was that he didn�t fully realize that this wasn�t like any of their other fights. He didn�t realize that their fight last night had cut Sam open and he was bleeding out all over the floor even as they stood there. He didn�t realize that Sam had seen his emptiness and that seeing it had been more painful than Dean�s words could ever be. He didn�t even realize that he had allowed the emptiness in him to grow and that the only thing that could ever fill it was standing not ten feet in front of him. No, he couldn�t realize any of this because his pride and lack of emotional control when it came to his Sammy were getting in the way.

So, before he allowed himself time to think about his actions and their equitable consequences he covered that ten feet and grabbed Sam by the shoulders, using his momentum to turn him roughly.

�Alright look here. We are not sitting in a car for hours on end just because I got a little angry last night. Do you hear me?� Dean shook Sam hard for emphasis.

Sam didn�t take the shake very well. Before Dean knew what was happening Sam had knocked his arms away and was in the process of tackling him in the stomach. Dean on the other hand was so shocked by Sam�s sudden mood change that he couldn�t defend himself and hit the floor hard cracking his head on the carpet.

It took him a few seconds to clear his vision and when he finally managed to get his wits about him again he lost them completely when Sam began straddling him.

For a second Dean�s thoughts turned toward the other night and the passionate kiss they had shared and then he remembered that those kinds of thoughts were what had gotten him into this position in the first place. His brain was being so overloaded that he didn�t even register the fact that Sam had hit him in the face. Or at least he hadn�t until the pain started. Then he cried out with an indignant, �Hey!�

When he had finally focused enough to realize that Sam was serious he raised his arms up in defense of himself and quickly blocked any other shots that Sam was directing at him. After another minute the hunter instincts in him kicked in and he used Sam�s position against him, effectively flipping their positions so that Dean was now straddling Sam.

Unfortunately for both of them Sam�s anger had taken hold of him and he was still trying to lash out at Dean. He could no longer throw any viable punches so he had resorted to trying to twist Dean�s arms while simultaneously attempting to buck him off.

He failed miserably at both though and Dean�s superior strength soon won out over Sam�s litheness, and almost as fast at it had started it was at an end. Dean grabbed Sam�s arms in a moment of opportunity and effectively pinned them to the floor by his head, shoving them down to ensure complacency.

They were both breathing heavily and a nasty bruise had begun to form on the side of Dean�s face. Sam struggled against Dean slightly and Dean put his face right next to Sam�s, growling in his ear.

�Stop fighting me Sammy or I�m going to get really pissed off and it won�t end well.� Sam just looked up at him defiantly and stuck out his chin like a child would. Dean�s heart beat picked up a notch. He wasn�t sure if it was the adrenaline from the fight or if he was just not in his right emotional state, but Sam was looking pretty damn good to him at the moment.

The way that Sam�s pupils had dilated and the hypnotic rhythm of his breathing were not helping Dean to keep control of himself any. Sure enough, the sight of Sam unconsciously licking his lips sent Dean over the edge. He could feel himself growing hard and he knew that soon enough Sam would be able to tell. He was, after all, straddling him and it was kind of hard not to notice something like that when it was pressing into their stomach. So in order to make things easier on himself and on Sam he spoke quickly.

�I�m going to let you up now. Do you promise not to go ape shit on me again?� Sam didn�t respond he just lay calmly on the carpet as if nothing had happened.

The hair on the back of Dean�s neck stood up at Sam�s sudden complacency and he let go of Sam�s wrists slowly. When Sam made no move to strike out at him he started to stand up. He had managed to lift himself about half way off of Sam�s body when he felt his knees give out from a well placed punch. He stumbled backwards awkwardly before he managed to grab a hold of the corner of one of the mattresses. Sam meanwhile had regained his own footing and looked like a bull about to charge.

�This isn�t over just because you say it is!� He practically spit the words out of his mouth as he rubbed his wrists delicately.

Dean decided that he had been nice enough and pushed himself to his full height. Even though he was shorter than Sam it didn�t really make that much of a difference because his presence filled the room just as nicely.

�Actually it is. Look Sammy I don�t know what the hell you�ve been smoking but you better calm your ass down, now, because I�m not going easy on you anymore. You want to do this, then come on. But I am not going to throw any punches just because you�ve decided to be a bitch!� Dean took a deep breath and then took a defensive stance.

Sam meanwhile hadn�t said a word. He just stared at Dean as if he was the biggest asshole in the world. It was what Sam said next that confirmed that he was.

�You are such a bastard.� Sam�s anger seemed to disappear with those five words. In fact, he went into a complete meltdown.

�I�m the bitch? First you give me the best fucking kiss I�ve ever had. Make me think that you love me more than life itself, and then you tell me that I�m disgusting, and I�m the bitch?� Tears were slowly winding down Sam�s face now and Dean could only stare in shock as Sam�s words made their way into his brain.

�I didn�t start this Dean! I didn�t suddenly decide to kiss you one day! So tell me truthfully, did you just kiss me because you�re horny? Huh? Can�t get any good ass so you just decide to screw with my head? Did you think I wouldn�t fucking care!�

Sam�s voice filled with renewed anger and his fists clenched and unclenched at his sides as a sign of his repressed fury. He wanted nothing more than to lash out and beat the crap out of his brother but he knew that he wouldn�t win and there was no way in hell that he wanted to sit in a car after this with bruises all over his body.

So instead of hitting Dean he paced the motel room carpet like a caged tiger. Dean watched him silently for a moment while he collected his own thoughts and tried to sort through everything that Sam had just confessed. When he was done he deflated like a balloon on a cold winter�s day.

�Do you really think that?� His voice came out small and defeated. It was a voice that Sam had never heard before and he stopped mid pace. He looked at Dean in disbelief and knew that his jaw had just fallen open.

�What the hell am I supposed to think?!� For emphasis he threw his hands into the air and stared at his brother as if he had three heads.

Dean just sighed resignedly. He was never one for emotional confrontation and the last three days had really tired him out. Add in the lack of sleep he had caught the previous evening and he was running on empty. All he wanted to do was get their shit in the car and haul ass out of this God forsaken town. Now he knew that before they could do that he had to sort through the shit he had gotten himself into with Sam. So, for the sake of time and emotional wear, he sat down on the bed and put his hands on his knees.

�What do you want me to say to make this okay again?� Dean looked up at Sam expectantly and not surprisingly Sam scoffed.

�You can�t just make this better Dean. Do you even know how much what you said to me last night hurt? Do you even care!�

�Of course I care! You�re my brother Sammy and I love you but this, I don�t know what to do about any of this. Do you want me to say that I�m sorry? Do you want me to tell me that I was being stupid and that everything I said was a lie. That I�m scared shitless that you might leave me just like Dad did? Because I will. I�ll say it if that�s what you want to hear.�

Sam snorted loudly in disbelief. �I don�t want you to say it just because it�s what I want to hear Dean! I want you to say it because you mean it. Just tell me the truth. Did you kiss me the other night because you wanted to kiss me, or did you do it because I was the only one around? Do you even care about me at all or are you just so desperate to have someone around that you simply had to settle with me?�

***************

With everything out in the open the silence settled in. It grew and stretched like a living thing until Sam felt weak and had to sit himself onto his bed. He wanted nothing more than to get up and leave the room himself but more than anything he wanted to hear what Dean was about to tell him. So he sat there in the silence and prayed that it didn�t suffocate him before he heard what Dean had to say.

Since neither of them had ever shared this much in such a short amount of time, Sam knew that they were both feeling the effects. Dean�s jaw was a nice purple color now, but the circles under his eyes were what drew Sam�s attention. He knew that he probably looked just as bad and hoped that Dean would say something soon just so that they could leave this place. Finally, Dean broke the silence that was threatening to drown them both.

�I�ve never wanted anyone else Sammy. The other night...� he closed his eyes and sighed loudly. Sam held his breath as he waited for Dean to continue.

�What happened the other night didn�t just happen because you were convenient. What I said to you...it was all lies. Nothing we did disgusted me, in fact it was probably the best night of my life. I�ve wanted to kiss you since we were kids Sammy, I was just so fucking confused. Last night...I just thought that if I pushed you away then I could stop you from getting hurt. I can�t be your perfect anything Sam. Everything I touch just disappears. I didn�t want you to disappear too.� The last of Dean�s words came out with a resigned sigh and he looked up at Sam with what he could only describe as fear.

Sam couldn�t speak. Couldn�t even breath as Dean�s words sunk in. So that was it. That was the big revelation. Dean was as afraid of losing Sam as Sam was of losing him. He would have breathed a sigh of relief if Dean hadn�t just spilled his guts all over the pink carpet. Instead he settled for looking relieved.

�So, are we okay now?� For the first time since Sam could remember Dean sounded truly hopeful. He smiled slightly and went to sit beside his brother on the bed. Dean moved over to make room and looked at Sam expectantly.

Sam took a deep breath to steady himself and picked a particularly nice spot on the carpet to stare at. When he had finally sorted through enough of his emotions to be satisfied he raised his head and locked his eyes with Dean�s.

�I can�t tell you that everything is going to go back to normal now Dean. What you said...what you said really hurt. I can�t just let it go. But for now, I think we�ll be alright.� He nudged Dean lightly with his shoulder and smiled lightly at him. Dean smiled back with his patented shit-eating grin and nudged him back.

�Then let�s get out of this shit hole shall we?�

Sam nodded gladly and shoved the rest of his things into his bag slinging it over his shoulder with care and opened the door wide for Dean to walk through. Instead of walking through though Dean grabbed the door and from him and stood to the side. Sam nodded lightly and walked through into the morning sun opening the passenger side door and shoving his stuff into the back seat. Dean hopped in the driver�s side and shoved his stuff out back as well. Slamming the car door he put the key in the ignition and revved the engine. He smiled cockily at Sam and blared the radio. As he squealed out of the parking lot and headed west he couldn�t help but wonder what the hell they were going to do now. One of the things he knew for sure though was that he and Sam were going to be having more talks now. Except Dean wasn�t going to be using any words to express how he felt about his not-so-little Sammy.
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Caged