Burden of Proof | By : NeenaVarscona Category: Star Trek > Enterprise Views: 2710 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Enterprise, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
~~~~~
The Nakeen kept their promise and released Commander Tucker early the next morning. Archer waited at the gates as the guards removed Trip’s restraints and allowed him to pass through into freedom. He looked haggard to Archer, and he guessed that Trip must have had a rough night. But as he got closer, he seemed to perk up until, by the time he finally reached him, he was practically giddy.
“Trip…” said Archer, but that was all he managed to get out before Trip caught him up in a bear hug.
“Whatever you said or did to get me outta there, it worked like a charm. How’d you do it?” asked Tucker, releasing his hold on Archer so he could beam a grin at him.
Archer felt a stab of guilt. He’d have to tell Trip the truth at some point, but right now he just wanted to put as much distance between them and the Nakeen home world as possible. So he smiled at his friend as best he could and started leading him back to the shuttle pod.
“Let’s just get you home, okay?” said Archer, avoiding an answer.
“No arguments here,” Trip answered.
Trip walked beside his captain, feeling a bit more sober after his lukewarm reception. He thought he knew why Jon was acting so cagey. What happened the night before probably wouldn’t have happened at all if there hadn’t been a death sentence hanging over his head. But here he was, alive and well, and now Jon had to deal with the consequences of his actions.
The fifteen-minute shuttle ride back to Enterprise was the longest and most uncomfortable fifteen minutes of Trip’s life. He’d decided it might be best to give Jon some space and let him adjust to their new circumstances. But he couldn’t help stealing a few glances at him, wishing more than anything that he could get a little closer. On the odd occasion when their eyes met, Archer just smiled awkwardly at him before returning his attention to the shuttle’s console.
Archer was well aware of the tension, but he told himself there would be plenty of time to work things out later. And anyway, he thought, Trip had a lot of catching up to do back on the ship. He deserved a chance to settle in before…well, before they had ‘the talk’.
~~~~~
After spending three weeks in solitary confinement, Tucker thought he’d be overjoyed to be surrounded by familiar faces again. But the truth was, no matter how many friends greeted him and welcomed him back, the one person he wanted to spend time with was avoiding him and it was making him miserable.
He sat through lunch with Hoshi and Malcolm, spent hours in Engineering getting an earful of updates from his crew, had dinner with T’Pol and Mayweather…but it all felt flat somehow. Every time a door slid open he looked up in anticipation. Every corner he turned, his heart beat just a little bit faster, thinking Jon might be there. By the end of the day, Trip found he was relieved to be alone, just so he wouldn’t have to keep up the pretence that everything was okay.
And he should be happy, he told himself. He was alive and free and back on Enterprise, and that should be enough. Only it wasn’t—not anymore. Trip lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to claim him. But not even the hypnotic hum of the engines—a noise he usually found soothing—could lull him to sleep tonight.
As the night wore on and his mind kept churning over the events of the last couple of days, Tucker decided he had to do something about it. So what if it was almost three in the morning—if he couldn’t sleep, then Jon had no right to sleep, either. He threw on a pair of sweats and strode through the nearly deserted corridors to Archer’s quarters.
With his finger poised over the door chime, he hesitated. The thought occurred to him that confronting Jon about this was hard enough without throwing sleep deprivation into the mix. Maybe it would be best to wait until morning, when they’d both be thinking more clearly.
But his finger didn’t seem to agree with him, and without really intending to, he pressed the chime. The scared little boy in him told him he could still run away—knock-a-door ginger had a certain appeal at the moment—but maturity overruled, and he held his ground.
Archer opened the door almost at once, and it was clear that he hadn’t been able to sleep either. He had Porthos in his arms, absentmindedly rubbing behind the beagle’s ears.
“Trip, I’ve been expecting you,” he said, moving aside to let him in.
“Good,” answered Trip. He shut the door behind him, and took a moment to steel himself. “Then you’ll know we’ve gotta talk.”
“I know,” Archer agreed, hugging Porthos tighter, as if the dog might shield him from the unpleasantness to come. “And I’m sorry; I should have talked to you sooner…but…”
“You feel weird about what happened,” Trip answered for him. “I got that. But we can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”
“That’s just it—it didn’t happen, Trip,” said Archer.
Tucker’s jaw dropped at the absurdity of the denial. “Whaddaya mean, ‘it didn’t happen’?” he demanded.
“What I mean is, it didn’t happen the way you think it happened,” Archer answered quickly, realizing he’d gotten off to a bad start and wanting to smooth Trip’s ruffled feathers.
“Uh-huh,” said Trip, crossing his arms across his chest sternly. “Then I guess I just imagined that you came into my cell last night and practically threw yourself at me?”
Archer started pacing around his quarters, ducking under bulkheads in his path, but feeling better for the movement. It made him feel like he was in control, and that was something he desperately needed right now. “I’m not denying what happened. I’m just saying that you don’t know the whole story.”
Trip’s temper was on a short fuse, and Archer’s circular logic was speeding him towards a blow up of enormous proportions. “Then why don’t you fill me in, Jon? ‘Cause I was there, and it sure seemed to me like I got the whole story.”
Archer must have squeezed Porthos a little too tightly in response to Trip’s backlash, because the dog let out a whimper and squirmed his way out of his arms, skulking away to the safety of his bed.
With nothing left to hide behind, Archer stopped pacing and faced his friend. “Trip…I didn’t come to you last night to say goodbye; I came to you because I had a chance to get you out of there and I took it. Do you have any idea what the Nakeen were going to do to you? They were ready to castrate you or put you to death for sexually assaulting the prime matron.”
“Hang on, are you saying they consider smiling at a woman sexual assault?” asked Trip.
“Yes, I am. And the only reason you’re here is because I told them you were incapable of committing the offense you’d been charged with. I told them you couldn’t have been attracted to her because you and I were lovers. I had no idea the prime matron would demand proof.” Archer caught Trip’s eyes and held his breath in anticipation of another outburst of anger. But he just stood there, his head cocked at an angle as if he was having trouble piecing the information together.
“So what you’re tellin’ me is that it was all an act?” he said at last.
“I’m afraid so, Trip,” Archer answered. “I’m so sor…”
“I don’t believe you,” said Trip, cutting him off.
“It’s true. I’m sorry Trip. I wish I could say there was more to it than that, but there wasn’t.”
“Well you could have fooled me,” said Trip bitterly.
“It had to be convincing,” said Archer. “I had no choice; the prime matron had to believe that we were lovers.”
“And you couldn’t have told me what was going on?”
“I wanted to, but we were being watched,” Archer explained. “I swear, I thought you’d figured it out. I thought you were just playing along.”
Trip stood there silently for a while, trying to process it all. It didn’t make sense to him—how could he have been so wrong? Had he been so blinded by his own emotions that he’d completely failed to read Jon’s?
“Trip…say something,” Archer pleaded.
Trip couldn’t answer him. He was too confused and angry to risk saying something he couldn’t take back. He looked at Jon, feeling exposed and betrayed, and he wished he’d listened to the scared kid in him and run away when he had the chance.
“Trip…please,” said Archer.
But his friend was gone.
~~~~~
T’Pol sipped her water and watched as Captain Archer picked at his meal in silence. She’d noticed their meals together had been unusually quiet of late. There was none of the animated discussion she’d grown used to, and Archer’s appetite was far less robust than usual. She knew it had something to do with Commander Tucker—since his return a week ago, the two of them had barely spoken, and the entire crew was starting to feel the tension. So, as much as she enjoyed having a quiet meal for a change, the situation was such that she felt she had to say something.
“You miss him,” she said.
Archer nearly choked on his potato at the unexpected comment.
“Miss who?” he asked, knowing he was fooling no one.
T’Pol simply raised a brow at him. “You and Commander Tucker have been avoiding each other since his return from the Nakeen home world. He’s been sulking around the ship for a week, and you’re clearly miserable as well.”
“I’m fine,” he said with phoney cheer. “There’s nothing wrong.”
“Then why hasn’t he joined us for dinner?” she asked. “Whatever the problem, I suggest you attempt to resolve it before it begins to affect your duties.”
Archer put down his fork, having lost what little appetite he had. “I’d rather not talk about this right now. Can we change the subject?”
“Very well,” she agreed. “Crew evaluations are overdue. Admiral Forrest expected them almost two weeks ago.”
“I’ve been busy, T’Pol. I’ll finish the evaluations as soon as I can find the time.”
“I took the liberty of compiling your completed evaluations, in the event that Admiral Forrest should request them. It appears you only have one evaluation left to do,” she said, sipping her water casually.
Archer bristled—as good as her intentions might be, he still felt like a child being nagged by his mother. “I’ll do it tonight, all right? Now, if you’ll excuse me…I’ve got some work to do,” he said as he got up from the table.
T’Pol said nothing. She didn’t have to—the triumphant gleam in her dark eyes said it all.
~~~~~
Archer stared down at the PADD in his hands, and it stared blankly back at him. Accusingly. Every time he thought of something to write in Trip’s evaluation, he invariably felt it was tainted by what had happened between them. If he said anything nice, it sounded like he was overcompensating. If he said anything critical, it sounded harsh and uncalled-for.
After two and a half fruitless hours pacing around his quarters with a frustratingly blank PADD in his hands, Archer finally admitted defeat. T’Pol was right; he had to face Trip and figure out some way to patch things between them.
As he wound his way through the ship’s corridors, he rehearsed in his mind how he wanted the encounter to play out. He’d be kind, but firm, letting Trip down easy. He still couldn’t believe he was even in this position. He never dreamed he’d have to tell his best friend he wasn’t in love with him. And he never would have imagined that such an admission would be taken as bad news.
When Archer reached Tucker’s quarters, he took a deep breath and pressed the door chime. After a long pause he hit it again, and finally he heard Trip moving around on the other side of the door.
“Who is it?” came a gravely voice from inside.
“Trip, it’s me. Can I come in?” asked Archer.
The door opened, but Trip was leaning against the doorframe, blocking him from entering. He’d obviously been sleeping—he was in his undershirt and shorts, and his hair was ruffled from his pillow. He didn’t look too thrilled to see him, but Archer doubted it was because of the lateness of the hour.
“Can I come in?” Archer asked again.
“That depends,” Trip answered.
“Look—I’d rather not do this out in the hall,” said Archer. “We need to talk.”
Trip reluctantly moved out of the doorway and let him enter. “Okay, you’re in. So…talk.”
“I never meant for any of this to happen, Trip,” said Archer with a sigh. “But we can’t go on avoiding each other. We’re on a long mission, and Enterprise needs us to be able to work together.”
Trip hung his head, then peered up at Jon. “So you came here out of duty to Starfleet? I’m touched.”
“Don’t be like that. This isn’t easy for me, either, you know.”
“Gee, sorry I’m makin’ this so hard for you. Would it be easier if I lied and said ‘no hard feelin’s’? If I said, ‘what the hell, let’s forget it ever happened’? Well, I can’t do that,” said Trip heatedly. “To you it might have just been duty and responsibility, but it meant a lot more than that to me.”
This wasn’t going the way Archer planned. Emotions were running too high to carry on a rational conversation, and it wasn’t just Trip who was getting emotional. Archer had so many conflicting feelings that he couldn’t pick one to express. Anger, sadness, confusion, love…A surge of fear jolted through him the moment he realised just how much love played a part of it, and everything suddenly made sense to him. Why he’d been keeping such a safe distance from his friend.
“Yeah? Well, it meant a lot more to me, too,” Archer admitted loudly, as if shouting the words might somehow change their meaning.
Trip, who was all ready to go the next round, stammered to a halt before he could even get started. “Sorry…what was that?” he asked, not sure if he was still supposed to be angry.
Archer wanted to bolt. This was big. No…this was huge, and the ramifications didn’t bear thinking about. But what good would it do to run away? He couldn’t take the words back, and even if he could, he wasn’t sure he’d want to. It was the truth, after all; he’d known it deep down for some time now. And it scared the hell out of him.
“I said, it meant a lot more to me, too,” Archer repeated with heated embarrassment.
Trip frowned at him uncertainly. “You mean it?” he asked. “You’re not gonna back down and plead ‘just friends’, are you?”
“Trip, please don’t make me say it,” Archer begged.
Trip grinned at him mischievously. “Tell ya what. You can either say it or you can show it.”
Archer returned his grin. “Sounds like a challenge,” he said. “I like a good challenge.” He took a bold step forward and Trip met him halfway.
It was strange, but as their lips met, Archer felt more fear and excitement than he had the first time they’d kissed. This time there were no witnesses and no death threats hanging over their heads. This time it was just the two of them. Alone. Strange how he hadn’t noticed how soft his lips were, how well their bodies fit together. It felt so right; he couldn’t believe it had taken him this long to figure it out.
“I love you, Trip,” he said, feeling that he’d never said those words and truly meant them before.
“Care to prove it?” asked Trip playfully, nipping at his earlobe.
Archer smiled broadly at him and turned off the lights.
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