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.Escape from Land of the Giants Season 2	By : keithcompany Category: G through L > Land of the Giants Views: 1504 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Land of the Giants show, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
(Vertag is in his office. Lessala delivers a stack of mail. Vertag starts opening envelopes. Unfolds the contents of the first one)
Vertag: Aw, crap.
Lessala: What, now?
Vertag: Training. Since I’m no longer the sole agent in the office, I have to participate in the standard SID training schedule.
Lessala: What, target practice? Surveillance techniques?
Vertag: No. (taps the paper) Political improvidence identification. Budget alignment assignments. Parachuting. Geophysical interdependence briefs.
Lessala: Parachuting? That sounds fun.
Vertag: Oh, yeah. Three hours of safety briefs, ten minutes in the air, two hour debrief.
Lessala: (sorting through more envelopes) Oh, well, in 2^nd Nation, we get six jumps on a weekend run. Last month we-
Vertag: Hey!
Lessala: (Covers her mouth) Oh. I mean, I hear that people who work for Defense or…
Vertag: (opening another envelope) Yeah, yeah. What other people do. Oh.
Lessala: What’s that, an invitation to a paperwork seminar?
Vertag: It’s my travel approval. All the way home. To get a snapper for the humans to study. (He stares off into the middle distance)
(The Sergeant of the Guard’s eyebrows rise and he murmurs into a mike)
Lessala: Great. A trip home on the government dime. When do you leave?
Vertag: I…uh, next week. (he looks unhappy)
Lessala: Awwww. (walks to his side of the desk and puts hands on his shoulders.) And you wanted to take your little friend home with you? Show Janet the old bedroom? The model of the Capitol you built out of matchsticks? The cage you used to keep a pet Earthling in?
Vertag: She wasn’t a pet. I mean, I nursed her back to health, she escaped.
Lessala: (surprised) What? You really kept a human in a cage?
Vertag: A box. Like I said, Sandy was hurt. When she wasn’t hurt, she took off for the hills.
Lessala: I didn’t know there were humans on the Island?
Vertag: Oh, it was while I was at School, over on the Mainland.
(Elevator doors open, Perez and Brown exit, salute the SOG and jog over to Vertag’s blotter pad.)
Perez: Someone say a dinosaur hunt?
Lessala: What’s a dinosawer?
Brown: A big scavenger. The snappers? You actually applied to get one for us?
Vertag: Yeah. They can’t be shipped off of the Island alive. People get upset about waking up with their viscera stretched from the bed to the driveway. Wimps.
(Elevator doors open, Drury exits, tightening his tie)
Lessala: So, that means I’m in charge of the office for two weeks.
Drury: Actually, I’d be the ranking-
Vertag: As explained, I have to remain in charge since you’re not SID.
Drury: The purpose of the Exchange means that as-
Lessala: Oh, yeah. I have to keep saying ‘what agent Vertag would want’ or ‘what Vertag has ordered in the past.’
Drury: Listen! For any evolutions which will involve-
Vertag: Yep. So. Who’s going to accompany me? I figure your shuttle won’t land until someone on the ground gives the okay?
Drury: Actually, the UN has had a few experts express interest in-
Brown: I’d love to see those things in the wild. Did you say something about a trip to the, what was it, ‘Wild place?’
Vertag: Yep. I have that cleared, as well.
Perez: Yeah, fascinating, but I think there would be some danger involved in the travel? And the exploration of the area? I’m about the best choice to perform a security analysis and sweep.
Drury: My superiors have recommended-
(Vertag upends a coffee mug and lowers it over the attaché. His voice rises in volume for a second but gets cut off as the cup touches the desk.)
Vertag: So, your first official act will be to calm him down after he gets out from under the cup. (stands, offers a hand to Perez) Let’s go discuss what we need to pack.
Lessala: Wait, I thought you weren’t leaving for a week? (waves vaguely at Drury’s tiny prison)
Vertag: (cheerfully) I’m not. (walks out carrying Perez. Brown and the SOG laugh)
Lessala: (shakes her head) Man. He really misses Janet. (reaches for the mug)
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Roll Titles
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(The lights go out in a market. The camera pans past the manager locking the front door from inside, sweeps past checkout, down the aisle, to the cookies. Drops to the floor. Under the last shelf, there’s a small break in the paneling. Styles’ head pokes out, looks both ways)
Styles: Okay. He’s locking up, no one else is around. Wanna try for the phone in his office?
Janet: Give him a couple of minutes in case he forgot something.
(fade out, fade in as the two women jog down an aisle to the front of the store)
Styles: You know, even after they repair the phone company, they may have to replace individual phone units.
Janet: Okay?
Styles: That means that there’s going to be a priority. Probably government phones get replaced, then those units refurbished and given to the next highest priority.
Janet: You don’t think the manager of a 4-checkout store will be right after, say, the giant equivalent of a Wall Street executive?
Styles: Well, after, but not RIGHT after. Two or three days later, you know?
Janet: Right. Okay, this is the door.
(They duck down and slide under the door. This puts them face down and semi-pinned by the door itself when they reach the other side. Where a circle of other humans point spears at their heads)
(Back at the Exchange, Vertag ducks into an unused building inside the compound. He carries a traveler’s coat, long with lots of pockets, high collar. He looks around and pulls a large box with blinking lights on it, the giant listening-device jammer. When he’s happy with that, he opens his jacket to show Perez in his shirt pocket)
Vertag: Okay. I think we’re alone and unobserved. I’m not sure if there’s going to be a problem with this trip.
Perez: Hunting pet dinosaurs on a T-Rex ranch? I expect to resort to nukes.
Vertag: The snappers aren’t what I’m afraid of. But this travel request went over a lot of desks. I’m not sure who might be motivated to take advantage of our predictability. (He slides down to the floor and opens up the coat he’s carrying.)
Vertag: I’ve put a little hide-away in this coat. (Opens a flap, lifts her to look inside) It’s armored, it’s screened against scans, and it’s got some storage. I’m still using the Earthling Holster. I think you just might want to put some spare weapons, some food, and a way to call for help from orbit in here.
Perez: (peers into the bolt-hole, then up at the giant) Exactly what should I be expecting?
Vertag: (shrugs) The worst? Then any surprises can only be pleasant ones.
Perez: Who can I tell about this?
Vertag: The fewer that know, the fewer that can tell them where to look.
Perez: (Nods, then shakes her head) Man, this is how you live every day, isn’t it?
Vertag: (putting her back and lifting the jammer) Oh, no. Most days I don’t have anyone I can trust enough to plan with.
Perez: Hey, giant? That’s messed up. (He nods)
(In the dark space under an aisle, Janet and Styles sit on the floor, tied with dental floss to either end of a box of pasta noodles. Janet shifts and tugs, Styles stares fixedly up in the overhead, not moving)
Janet: Ack! I can’t get this floss loose. How about you?
(New angle, we see that Styles is staring up at a spiderweb. And the spider that sits in the middle of it. It’s about the size of a human dog and seems to be staring back at the Marine.)
Janet: Styles?
Styles: Think giant spiders have eight eyes, like ours?
Janet: What?
Styles: I think this thing has about five pointed at me.
Janet: Styles, we have to get out of here.
Styles: (flinching as the spider moves a little bit) No argument.
(Human male in ragged army fatigues enters the room by opening a door that’s a piece of cardboard taped to a metal divider under the shelving. There’s a picture of a smiling cat on the cardboard and part of a product name.)
Barry: So. You’re the amateurs that are going to get my people caught.
Janet: Hey! That’s unfair!
Styles: (still staring at the web) Yeah, we’re rather accomplished at getting people caught.
Barry: What? That’s really your intent? How dare you!
Janet: Sir, I can explain. (glances towards Styles) Although it would be easier without the spider.
Barry: It’s the closest thing we have to a truth serum. People talk or we leave them in here with Shelob.
Janet: You’re calling that thing Shelob? I’ve seen bigger spiders in the compound.
Styles: But there, we have flamethrowers to take care of them.
Barry: Flamethrowers? If you had any weapons like that, you’d save them for the giants.
Janet: (giggles) Honest, mister….?
Barry: Joseph Barry. Major Barry. Retired.
Janet: Major, we have napalm tanks for the giants. Although the only thing we’ve used them for so far is to frighten kids with fireworks.
Barry: Napalm tanks. You expect me to believe this?
Styles: Nope.
Janet: No. No, if I was telling you a story I wanted you to believe, I’d have a much more convincing lie.
Barry: You want me to believe a ridiculous story because you can’t be bothered to come up with a credible one.
Styles: No. I really, really, really want you to believe me and take me away from this god damned arachnid. I think she just winked at me! And not in a friendly way!
Janet: Honestly, sir, your Truth Serum is working. Not that we’d lie to you in the first place.
Barry: Huh. Well, I’ve got someone going through your things. We’ll see what they have to say before we talk about this compound, or these tanks. (turns to go, pauses) I’ll, uh… I’ll have you moved to a more comfortable room while we’re waiting, though.
Janet: Thank you, sir.
(He closes the door.)
(Vertag’s office. He’s moved his coat-rack so that the coat hangs near the SOG. Perez walks out of the elevator with a large trunk, wheels it over to the coat. SOG watches, glances at the giant. Vertag doesn’t pay any attention to her at all)
Vertag: Stogga?
Stogga: (one of the SID minions steps into the office) Sir?
Vertag: Stogga, what is this complaint about you from the appliance repair shop?
Stogga: Oh. The old geezer that runs the shop filed a false report of Earthling activity.
Vertag: (leaning back from the desk) Tell me more.
Stogga: Well, see, he’s missing a few items, some small tools…
Vertag: Did you get a complete list?
Stogga: No, sir. It’s just, well, he’s old. He forgets stuff. And blames the Little People.
Vertag: (to SOG) Call Brown for me, please. And a search and rescue squad. (to Stogga) Stogga, if Little People were stranded on the planet, and needed some things to repair their spaceship, would they steal from a bakery or an appliance shop?
Stogga: Well, they’d just turn themselves in for the Exchange.
Vertag: Only if they’ve heard of it. And believe it. And trust a giant enough to turn themselves in to. And trust their own government.
Stogga: Why wouldn’t they trust their government?
Vertag: Well, if they were in the middle of unlawful activity when they fell through the wormhole…
Stogga: Ah. So, I guess we get a bunch of agents and go search the area around the store?
Vertag: That’ll just scare them.
(Cut to the back side of a shopping center. A couple of cars are parked there. Vertag and Stogga walk to the back of one store. Around them a fleet of Hummers swarms. Some go with the giants to the store, some spread out into the weeded lot surrounding them.)
Stogga: But, sir, I thought the Earthlings weren’t supposed to leave the compound?
Vertag: Except under very tight escort control by SID agents.
Stogga: (looks off towards the tall grasses as the Marine units disappear into them) This is tight escort control, sir?
Vertag: Sure it is. As long as I know where everyone is. (puts a finger to his ear) Where is everybody?
Marines: (en mass) Right here!
(Stogga winces and covers his ear)
Vertag: See? I know where everyone is. Open this door. (Stogga rushes up, opens his wallet and removes a pass key from behind his badge. Unlocks the door and steps aside. Hummers swarm past. The giants follow.)
(In a small open spot at the base of a tree, a spaceship rests on a crude wooden platform. I imagine it as the Flying Sub, from another Irwin Allen TV series, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, just because I like inside jokes like that. A human rushes out from the grass and into the open door of the spaceship.)
Crewman1: Guys! Giants are in the appliance shop!
Crewman2: (stands up from an open panel with electronics behind it) So? Maybe they need a toaster?
Crewman3: Three hours after the shop closes?
Crewman1: They’re looking for us! They look official! And there’s something else.
Crewman3: What else?
Crewman1: I’m not sure. Something they got out of the car. I couldn’t see the ground without stepping out of the grass.
Crewman2: We can’t go. We haven’t fixed the stabilizers.
Crewman3: We may not need them. We just go up and look for the wormhole, come out the other side and scream for help. Close everything up.
(In the store, Brown and a couple technicians examine an organizer of spare parts)
Brown: This drawer. It was forced open, probably with a crowbar.
Stogga: But a person might have done that.
Vertag: A ‘giant’ person would have just opened the whole case.
Brown: Some of these parts…they might be useful for repairs. The wormhole tends to trash the power supplies and reactor controls of human space drives. This (taps one of the pill-shaped items in the drawer) is operationally comparable to the most vulnerable-
Vertag: He says that it might be human activity.
Marine1: (down on the floor) Agent Vertag! They found something!
(Vertag grabs Brown and rushes carefully across the floor and out into the back area. A flickering light rises from the treeline and starts to stagger across the sky. A staggering engine whine sounds.)
Vertag: Is your Fleet tracking them?
Brown: They will be, once they gain altitude.
Stogga: They’re escaping!
Vertag: They’re going home.
Stogga: But we won’t get credit for the Earthlings!
Vertag: We’ll just bill Earth for the stolen parts. (The light goes completely out, the engine noise stops. It starts again, the light comes on a tree’s length lower.) Are they going to make it?
Brown: Not to orbit. Can we follow them?
Vertag: That’s why we brought two cars. Stogga! Stay with the car until the Marines tell you that all of them are aboard. Then go back to the Exchange. Brown, who’s going to be in charge?
Brown: That would be Lieutenant Shaver.
Shaver: (Marine standing at the back wall) Sir!
Vertag: (Walking towards his car, still holding Brown) Don’t let him forget to lock up the store.
Shaver: Yes, sir!
Stogga: Uh…sir. Yes, sir.
(In the car, driving quickly along. Vertag leans out the window to scan at the sky. Brown stands on the dashboard, holding one hand on a stanchion that’s bolted in place, the other holds a PDA)
Brown: Can you see it? You should see it. Excelsior has it about two klicks south of our position.
Vertag: That’d be useful if I knew what a click was.
Brown: Oh. Well, since one of our land wars, Viet Nam, we’re defined military tactical distances by the variation induced in an artillery unit’s setting for elevation…
Vertag: Excelsior?
(Cut to surveillance room of Excelsior)
Vertag (voice): Can you hear me? Do I go left or right, speed up or slow down?
Tech (at screen showing a few colored lights): Brown, tell the giant-
Commander: Stop. Cut the giant into the circuit. (tech throws a switch) Agent Vertag, you want to bear left at the fork, and maybe speed up. We’re losing signal, they must be dropping below tree level.
Vertag (voice): Wonderful. (cut to the car. Vertag pulls his head in, one hand to his ear)
Vertag: Thanks for the help.
Commander (voice): Thank you, Agent. Good luck.
(Janet and Styles sit in chairs at a table in an artificial room bound by cut pieces of cardboard. Spearmen block the exits. Styles is staring at a spear)
Styles: I think they beat the thumb part of a thumbtack down around the shaft. Making a sort of speartack.
Janet: I really don’t care.
Styles: It’s not that I care. It’s that I have nothing better to do.
(Barry enters the room, two more guards follow him and take places at the door)
Barry: Okay. We’ve discussed the situation. We don’t quite believe you, but we have no proof against your story either.
Styles: Wonderful. So we’re either giant agents or maybe not.
Janet: Look, if we could contact our friends…
Barry: I’m sorry. We can’t risk the entire community if your ‘friends’ show up to collect you.
Janet: I promise, we won’t-
Styles: Janet, if they don’t believe our story, they won’t accept our word.
Barry: That’s true. So, we can’t let you call from the office. Or let you just walk out and talk to a giant. Or let you go away from here, leading giants back to our position.
Janet: You’re going to make us prisoners?
Barry: We, uh, we don’t really have the resources…
Janet: You don’t mean…?
Styles: Roll! (she jumps up and runs headfirst into one of the cardboard walls. The tape at top and bottom parts and she’s into the space beyond. The guards were expecting her at one of the two doors and are caught a bit flat footed. Janet hauls off after her partner with only a slight delay.)
(Cut to an aisle, looking down at a shelf. We see no movement but hear yelling, swearing and the rare smacking of fists on flesh. A box of cereal teeters and falls. Everything goes silent)
Voice1: What happened?
Voice2: Something fell. Be quiet!
Voice1: Why?
Voice3: Because the giants might have heard! Shut up!
Voice1: The giants went home hours ago! There’s no one to hear! Get the prisoners!
Voice2: Where did they go?
(long silence)
Voice3: Aw, crap.
(In the woods, car headlights shine through trees as the car comes to a stop. Vertag walks into view shining a flashlight. He follows broken tree branches to the crashed spaceship. Kneels beside it, pulls Brown out of his pocket)
Vertag: Any survivors? Hello?
Brown: Over there! (Vertag holds him over the hatch he points out. It opens, Crewman1 staggers out onto the ground.)
Crewman1: Oh, god. Oh, god. (Vertag lowers Brown to the ground)
Brown: You okay? Anyone else in there?
Crewman1: Yeah. Yeah, both of my… Oh, man, that was the worst…
Brown: Okay. Stay here, I’m going to get your friends.
Vertag: Excelsior, can you have one of your Marines guide my assistant to this position? We need some medics.
Commander: (voice) On the way, Agent.
Crewman1: (looking up at Vertag with trepidation) Excelsior? Isn’t that a weird name for a giant?
Vertag: Relax. It’s an Earth Fleet ship name. (reaches to the hatch and catches Crewman2 as he falls. Crewman3 has an arm over Brown’s shoulders.) You guys just rest here, medical is on the way. You’re going home.
(Cut to the alley behind the market, Janet and Styles run along the wall. Styles has two spears, Janet carries one)
Janet: I just want to go home.
Styles: Yep. But first, I’m going to find a platoon, go back there, and feed Barry his spider, one hairy leg at a time.
Janet: So, now the list is: Home, shower, food, catch up on email, another shower, more food, Barry/spider force feeding, then go home and sleep for a week.
Styles: I think I want another shower in there somewhere.
Janet: (sighs) Let me juggle the schedule, I’ll get back to you. (They continue to run, fading into the shadows)
(Fade out, fade in to Vertag standing on the sidewalk in front of the Exchange with Lessala. An SID minion loads luggage into the back of a car)
Vertag: Okay. Don’t let them get out of hand.
Lessala: Of course.
Vertag: If you have any questions, have Adams contact Perez.
Lessala: That won’t be a problem.
Vertag: There’s a pickup scheduled in Mining Port-
Lessala: Under control.
Vertag: And Adams wants to discuss-
Lessala: We already settled it.
Vertag: Oh. Well. Then, I guess… I’ll be. Um.
Lessala: (Embraces him for a goodbye kiss. He awkwardly hugs her back) I’ll miss you, too. (she enters the building. He stands and watches the door shut)
Vertag: Hmmm.
Perez: (from his pocket) Good God, Vertag! Next time you hug that woman, you need to turn half away.
Vertag: What?
Perez: They were RIGHT THERE! (holding her hands as a fisherman describing the very round fish that got away) I couldn’t breathe!
Vertag: Is that a fact? (gets in car, minion drives them down the road) Too bad we can’t trade places.
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Roll credits
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.Escape from Land of the Giants Season 2