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Lights	By : antilogicgirl Category: 1 through F > Firefly Views: 4340 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly or any of the characters therein. No monetary gain is had from the writing of this fiction.

Chapter List
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Title:“Lights”
Begun: December 1, 2007
Completed: December 4, 2007
Summary: Relationships fall apart sometimes. Kaylee knew that. What she never counted on was who would be there to pick up the pieces.
A/N: Okay...so here's the third chapter. River's one of my favorite characters, so she gets to flex her philosophical muscles. And she also gets to have a nice talk with Mal. Really, I'm surprised I got so much into such a small chapter. Ah, hell. Why don't you just read it and find out what's going on? It makes it more fun when there's a surprise!
Legal Stuff: I do not own Firefly or any of the characters therein. Joss Whedon, creator. OC mentioned (Dara) is mine for future use.
Chapter 3: Soul Lights
Sometimes, it just felt nice to sit here. The bridge had the nicest view, River thought. Even when they were holding steady on course, and everything was perfectly in order, she would curl up in the sheepskin-covered chair, and watch them go by. Planets, moons, stars…twinkling lights like a Christmas Tree. And they just floated there, drifting infinitely through that endless black void, like apples bobbing in a deep barrel and waiting to be plucked up. Or maybe it was less like that, and more along the lines of people on a journey. They crossed paths, entered and exited each other’s orbits, and at times clashed. Yes, River thought, that was a much more apt analogy.
Especially since people seemed to also be in their own little worlds a lot of the time. Not that she could point fingers at anyone without doing the same to herself…she was aware that her mind retreated in on itself. And one day, they would find a way to bring it back permanently. But for now, she sat. Her world was the universe, endless black and filled with twinkling lights and shining people. A small smile tugged at her mouth at that thought.
Everyone had their own light, shining at various levels of brightness, straight out of their souls. Simon, for instance, had a soft, bluish light. That worried her at times, because Kaylee had such a bright, sunny-yellow light that his was overshadowed. She had started noticing the way Kaylee seemed to drift off, away from Simon. And it was sad, because her brother only really shone when he was with Kaylee.
“Twinkle, twinkle,” came a voice from behind her, and River turned around to find the Captain looking quite smug at having snuck up on her. Incidentally, Malcolm Reynolds had a wavering, flaring light somewhere between pale blue and white. River always thought it looked nice with his eyes, and the way his temper flared. At the moment, it was pretty, because it was calm. He was asking her something. “Can’t sleep?”
She shook her head. “I was just watching.” The lights tonight were different…they were in port. Stars were dimmed, but the smaller lights from the people and the buildings were almost as nice. Even though it was an hour before dawn, there were already people bustling around the Eastdown Docks.
“We still haven’t found any work just yet,” Mal said idly, his fingers starting to scratch at the sheepskin of River’s chair. “I was going to go and see Badger.” River cocked her head to one side. She wasn’t sure how much she liked Badger. He was a strange little man, who was far too full of himself. And Mal was thinking that she might be useful, wasn’t he?
A smile began spreading over River’s face and she hopped up onto her knees, turning to face the Captain. He blinked and looked a bit confused. She laughed a little, and said, “Do you need me to deal with him?” It would be fun, she thought. He was pretty gullible the last time she saw him, so it might be easy enough to fool him again.
“No, no. But I had talked to Zoe. She said that he…well, he seemed to take a shine to you. If you were there, then he might see clear to give us a bit more business, with a better cargo than he normally would.” Again, River smiled, she nodded, and poked Mal’s nose, only causing him to look even more confused than before. Now, his light was flickering again. He was a little flustered.
River looked at him for a very long moment. She could read things, tell his mood, and see certain of his thoughts, but the rest was clouded over. He was a puzzle. Even as a very small child, River had always loved puzzles.
Plopping back down in the chair, she pulled her knees up to her chest. “Want to watch the lights with me?”
“That’s all right, little ‘un. I’m gonna go and see about some things. We’ll be going to see Badger at around noon.” The man’s footsteps echoed through the corridor until they died away completely. River leaned back in the chair, watching the lights as people went by, and slowly drifting in her own little world.
Breakfast had gone over without a hitch, with Simon being very polite and not saying anything to upset Kaylee. Jayne was sitting in the corner with a steaming hot cup of strong oolong tea—two sugars, no cream—when the two left the room together. Kaylee was even smiling, which did Jayne all kinds of good. Simon had been glancing at him every now and again, but as there was nothing to complain about, the large man had merely given a jerky nod to the doctor, a sign of his approval.
He turned back to the letter he was writing to his mother, but soon found his mind wandering. Jayne had already put down everything he could, telling her that he would be sending more credits and hopefully a present for Mattie’s birthday. He’d also told her about the general happenings around the ship, leaving out any details about where they were, and who they dealt with…something the Captain had told him to do. Just in case the Alliance got a wild hair and decided to send a large number of people out to look for them, they might go nosing around their families.
His mind drifted away from all that, though. Jayne found himself thinking about things that he had never dared to. For one, why would River help him out? There was bad blood between Jayne and the Tams, so what could she possibly have to gain? Was she trying to make a monkey out of him? That might be. But then there was the way her eyes had looked when she stated the obvious fact that Simon had made Kaylee cry. She looked…she looked almost like she didn’t approve. But that couldn’t be. He was her brother, and any idiot could see that the poor fool was completely stupid over Kaylee anyway, so it must be even more obvious to River.
Jayne had congratulated himself with a big pat on the back when he saw how well Simon and Kaylee had been getting on. He’d done what he set out to. But now, he wasn’t quite sure that what he’d done had really done right by him. Hell, where did that leave him? The ass-end of nowhere, pretty much. That didn’t sit well with him, but at least Kaylee was happy.
His thoughts, such as they were, soon were interrupted when Zoe came over, settling herself into one of the chairs in the lounge. A bowl of instant oatmeal and a mug of what looked like hot chocolate got set down on the little table, and she looked curiously at Jayne as she used a spoon to stir the mushy stuff. “I hear tell of you being gentlemanly, Jayne.” The spoon went into her mouth, and came out clean. Around a mouth full of oatmeal, she commented, “That’s pretty out of character, for you.”
“Ah, lay off, will ya?” Jayne grumped, folding up his letter and stuffing it into the envelope.
“Jayne…” Zoe’s voice had taken on a threatening tone. That woman was fishing. Well, let her. He wasn’t gonna say anything. She scooted closer on the couch before she said in a low, secretive voice, “Kaylee said you brought her tea,” and in an even lower tone, “and Simon looked pretty rattled earlier when I saw him in the hall.” So what if he’d put the fear of God into that little…ah, hell, Jayne was running out of names for him. “Well?” she asked, leaning on one elbow and looking at him as if she really expected an answer.
“I said lay off, Zoe.” Jayne was staring at his teacup now, and wondering when he had drunk what had been inside. He could still feel her looking at him, like she was trying to pry the answers out of him just by staring. “So what if I did?” He asked in a smallish voice.
Zoe, who had been tapping her foot, suddenly stopped. A short silence was broken only when she let out a breath, and then asked, “And I guess you threatened the doctor?” He gave a short nod. “You didn’t need to.” What did she mean, he didn’t need to? Simon didn’t know how to keep his damned mouth shut. How was he supposed to keep Kaylee happy if he was gonna make her cry every time he flapped his gums? That was the only reason Jayne had gone and done what he did. He just wanted…he just wanted Kaylee to be happy.
He wasn’t going to tell Zoe that, though. He wasn’t going to tell her anything.
“Jayne,” Zoe seemed serious now, and he looked up to see that she actually was. “You can’t force what ain’t there.”
After a few seconds, that sunk in, but he wasn’t sure he understood. “What are you talkin’ about, Zoe?” She just smiled and got up, walking away from the lounge and sitting at the big table. He guessed that was going to be something he had to figure for himself. Shrugging, he stood and stuffed his letter into his back pocket, walking over to the kitchen and washing out his cup before putting it away. There were some things that needed doing, and he better get to it, since they were going to be going see that chicken-shit Badger.
Kaylee leaned back in the engine room hammock. She felt…strangely peaceful. The Captain, Zoe and River had gone to see that awful man Badger, and Simon had decided to make a trip into the city for medical supplies. God only knew where Jayne was since the Captain had decided not to take him along, and Inara had a full client list while they were in port. So, she was left to herself for the time being. The ship was buttoned up, and it was times like this that she felt closest to Serenity. The fingers of her left hand grazed the metal of the hull for a moment. Well, at least she was still there. No matter what happened, Kaylee still had Serenity.
It was strange, she thought, how the big decisions seem to come so easily in the moment. They’d all been in the galley, eating some pretty tasteless oatmeal, when Simon asked her to go with him. She saw him look over at Jayne, who gave him a little nod, and a very serious glance. Simon had, when they got to the infirmary, apologized for what he had said when they fought. He’d said he did not like to see her upset, and asked what he could do to keep it from happening again.
And in that moment, it had been so easy to say, “Be my friend again,” and it had really surprised her that she actually meant it. Yes, it did hurt to let those words out, but they needed to be said. She still did not understand why, but Simon simply…didn’t fit. Sure, he was sweet and all. And he’d come out of his shell a bunch, but there was still a lot that she did not get about him, no matter how hard she tried.
He’d been very understanding, and said he would do his very best. If she ever needed to talk, he’d said, she should come to him, and he’d listen. Of course, she could tell that he was disappointed. But she did feel like he’d get over it sooner or later. For now, Kaylee was only sure of one thing, really. She knew that she couldn’t be with Simon any longer. Not if she wanted to stay sane. Now her only problem was that in the middle of all that quiet, all that peace, there was just her, and that made her a little sad.
It had to be about two in the afternoon, and Jayne was bored. He’d already done several sets on his weights, and his guns didn’t need polishing. So what was there to do? Far as he knew, everybody else was gone, so he couldn’t go pestering anybody. Not that he’d ever admit that he pestered people…
And that’s why Jayne ended up just walking around the ship. He wandered around in the galley, and made himself a cup of tea. He paced the hallways and stairs for a while, finally finding himself at the door to the engine room. Surprised to find that Kaylee was still on board, he peeked around the corner to see her sleeping in the striped hammock. Jayne watched how she breathed, sort of shallow-like, and how her hair had fallen over her face like that…Kaylee sure looked pretty when she was asleep.
Of course, he wanted to smack himself for even thinking about that. Earlier, he’d agreed with all corners of his brain that he would just not think about any of it. Fat lot of good it was doing him right now, though. He meant to high-tail it out of there, but then she made this little noise in her sleep, and he knew he wasn’t going anywhere.
So he stepped in through the hatch and settled down on the floor next to the hammock. He couldn’t see her now, but it was easy to hear her breathing in the silence of the ship. It was a nice sound, and he listened to it while he sipped his tea. After a little while, Jayne pulled up his knees and really leaned against the wall, using one finger to pull at the hammock until it started swinging just a little.
Kaylee blinked, letting out a quiet yawn. She hadn’t even remembered being sleepy, but one glance at the clock told her that it was three in the afternoon. She’d been out for that long? Hell, she might not even sleep tonight at this rate if she didn’t get up now. The only hard part was the getting up. Sitting in a hammock was one thing, but laying in one, and getting out of it again was another. Gripping the sides of the cloth, Kaylee jerked hard while turning her legs to propel herself out of the hammock.
Usually, this worked pretty well, unless one of her legs was asleep. Or, if someone was sitting under the hammock. She caught her foot on something, which happened to be a leg, and tripped, falling without any idea of how she was going to land. Her first thought was something along the lines of who’d be dumb enough to sit under a hammock? And then she didn’t have to wonder about that, because she’d fallen directly onto them. Jayne looked pretty sheepish when he asked, “You okay?”
Kaylee, who was pretty uncomfortable in the oddly twisted position she was in, nodded and quickly straightened herself up. Now, she was sitting up straight, even if she was crossways of Jayne’s lap. “What are you doing sitting down here, Jayne? Don’t ya know I could fall on ya?”
He scratched at his head, and then said, “Nah. Never really crossed my mind.” The way he was looking at her told her he wasn’t lying. At least that. But why had he decided to come in here in the first place? “I thought you would have gone into town with the doc, really.” That was a pretty random thing to say, Kaylee thought. She was about to ask about it, but Jayne kept talking. “Didn’t really ‘xpect to see ya in here.” Jayne looked around, breathing kind of deeply until a little smile caught the edges of his mouth. “It’s sorta…I dunno. It’s kinda nice in here.”
Kaylee held back a smile of her own, trying to keep it to herself. She had no idea what brought on such halfway philosophical thought, but she wasn’t going to complain. Jayne hadn’t said anything to bother her yet. “So you came in here just to sit?” She asked, a little teasing.
“I guess.” His eyes were looking somewhere over Kaylee’s shoulder now, at where the catalyzer would be. “You were sleepin’ so good, I didn’t wanna wake you up, so I just sat down right here.” Jayne’s hand started fidgeting, and for the first time, Kaylee noticed that it was on her knee. It appeared that he realized it too, because he pulled it away rather quickly, and that bashful look came over his face again. She wasn’t sure why, but Kaylee got the sudden urge to hug him.
Maybe it was because he hadn’t said anything to annoy her, or maybe it was that almost adorable look he got when he was getting embarrassed. Whatever it was, she wrapped her arms around his middle and squeezed. He was like a big teddy bear, really. A big, stiff teddy bear. Why did he get all stiff? She’d hugged him before, and never had a problem with that. But her head was against his chest, and she could feel his heart beating faster…an idea started forming in the back of Kaylee’s head, and she let go of him to took a good long look at Jayne’s face.
You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me…she thought when she saw that his ears had started to turn pink. He was actually kind of cute like that, though. Kaylee couldn’t help herself. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. He jumped as if she’d given him a shock, and said, “What’d ya do that for?”
Kaylee couldn’t help laughing a little at him as she said, “’Cause you were bein’ sweet.” And really, he was. His face started to turn pink, right along with his ears, and Kaylee laughed a little more. “And ‘cause you blush like that…it’s cute.”
In what seemed to be a knee-jerk reaction, Jayne blurted, “I ain’t cute.”
A snort got out before she could stop it, and Jayne gave her a hard look. Trying to keep the upper hand, Kaylee asked, “Well, if you ain’t cute when you’re blushin’ like you are, then what would you call it?”
His nose scrunched up, and his voice came out sounding sulky. “Ruggedly handsome.”
Kaylee burst out laughing, unable to control herself. “That’s a good one! ‘Ruggedly handsome’…” and her laughing continued, completely uncontainable and after a minute, it was starting to hurt.
She would have fallen off of Jayne’s lap if he hadn’t caught her. He was starting to really sulk now. “Jesus, Kaylee…It ain’t that funny…” The more downtrodden he looked, the harder she laughed, until she really couldn’t breathe any more.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything…” came a voice from the doorway, and Kaylee suddenly stopped laughing. She looked over Jayne’s shoulder, and found Zoe, who looked as if she were about to start laughing, too. Now, Kaylee started feeling her face heating up, and she stood up and coughed a little.
“What’s up, Zoe?” she did feel kind of lame just then, and for a second, she wondered why.
Jayne stood up, and not for the first time, she was reminded of just how short she was. Jayne was a good two feet taller than she was, and if she were to look up at him just now, she might get a crick in her neck. He picked up his cup, and slipped past the first mate, not bothering to say anything to her, or to Kaylee. Zoe took a quick look over her shoulder at Jayne’s retreating back, and then glanced back at Kaylee. “What’s all that about?” She asked a knowing smile on her face.
“Nothin’.” Kaylee lied, because she knew exactly what it was about…she just couldn’t believe it. It was a little tough to get hold of, really. Jayne was the last person…well, almost the last person she ever would have thought of. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or not, because she’d been sitting in his lap, laughing and teasing him…and he’d probably gotten the wrong idea. Oops…
Mal dropped into a seat opposite River in the lounge. He was never going to understand her, it seemed. She could go from being so child-like that you might be tempted to think she was helpless to disarming and breaking a man’s arm in no time flat. And he’d discovered this afternoon that she shrugged on a Cockney accent and a sarcastic smile the way he would his coat…a seamless disguise. His theory about Badger had been correct.
He’d spent most of his time trying to get River to drink a cup of that awful stuff he’d given them the last time they’d been compelled to pay him a visit. In the end, they’d gotten three jobs. And all it had taken was bringing her along. She’d played him like a fiddle, and if the smile on her face was any indication, River had the time of her life. “Did you have fun?” He asked, taking a sip of the cup of tea he’d made for himself. She nodded, grinning. “I might have to think about taking you along with us more often.”
She shook a finger at Mal, expression suddenly changing to that of a disapproving school marm, “No, no, Captain. You can’t go taking advantage, now. Don’t I get anything out of the deal?”
His mouth fell open for a second, and nothing came out. “I…um…what do you want?”
River wasted no time in her request. She planted her elbows on the table, leaning forward and whispering, “Candy.”
It started as a low chuckle, kind of rumbling-like, and slowly built up until he threw back his head and laughed until he felt tears squeezing from the corners of his eyes. “Really…kiddo…” he tried to say as he began calming down, “…if that’s all you want…but you sure you don’t need anything else?”
Her head tilted slightly, dark eyes watching him and her face unreadable. “No,” she said quietly, “just candy. If you want, you can share with me.” There were times. Sometimes he wanted to toss the girl out of the airlock, sometimes he wanted to confine her to her quarters. But still other times, he just wanted to give her a bear hug. The entire crew had adopted her in one way or another.
Zoe let River take some of the kitchen duties, teaching her to cook with more patience than he thought she had. Kaylee had someone to goof off with, almost sister-like. Every now and again, River sparred with Jayne, but they only did that in the cargo bay when they were light on load, because of this one time when they’d crushed a few pieces of fragile shipping. She was a good pilot, almost as good as Wash, which endeared her to Mal in a way. So he guessed that she was like a little sister to them all, or a cousin. Or something. At the moment, though, he just wanted to give her a hug because she looked so innocent.
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Lights