Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

Lexx: Xev's Ordeal
By : lexxfan4life
Category: G through L > Lexx
Views: 1088 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Lexx or make any profit from it.
Chapter List
- 2
- 3
She pulls his hand onto her breast.

Prince: There's no time for that. There's a vegetable loose on this ship, we have to find it and destroy it.

Stanley: No argument here.

Xev: But it's one tiny little vegetable inside a huge giant ship - where do we start?

Everyone goes back to bed. Prince and Kai sit down at the edge of the well, and start to play chess.

Prince: Well, dead man. We have lots to talk about.

Kai: Like what?

Prince: Xev. It’s clear that there’s something she’s not telling you.

Kai: Like what?

Prince: A few weeks ago, you all came down to Earth. It was around the time that Xev told me she wasn’t feeling well.

Kai seems to be thinking.

Prince: She was clearly well enough to seduce me and rip off my clothes.

Kai: Did you two...have intercourse?

Prince: I suppose you can say it like that. Let’s put it this way. We both weren’t disappointed.

Kai looks around.

Prince: Something wrong?

Kai leaves the bridge.

Prince: Perhaps it was something I said (grins).

Later. Everyone has gathered on the bridge.

Stanley: Well, that's everybody.

Priest: What's this all about?

Kai: The alien probe is still on the Lexx.

Priest: What? But I thought - the robot head said that...

Kai: The robot head lied.

790: What do you expect?

Stanley: 790, I swear I'm gonna crush you to scrap. Do you have any idea how much that hurt coming out of me?!

790: A lot, I hope.

Stan gets up off the pedestal and goes for 790, but Kai stops him.

Kai: Some other time, I suggest. Right now your safety requires capturing the carrot.

Prince: And how do you propose that we do that?

Prince is sitting at the edge of the well next to Bunny - who is looking at his neck. Bunny suddenly bites Prince's neck. He cries out. Bunny stands up, pulls off her sleep mask to reveal a third eye. She screams.

Priest: Bunny wunny snuggle bun!

Xev: Get her!

Bunny runs off the bridge. Kai and the others follow, splitting up to search different passageways.

Xev: Bunny!

Xev runs into Stan and Priest.

Xev: See her?

Stanley: Yeah yeah yeah - we think she went that way.

He points, then they hear a scream in the other direction. They run along the passageway, to find Bunny unconscious, with her head on Prince's knees.

Priest: My Bunny!

Prince: It appears to have left her.

Priest takes hold of Bunny.

Priest: My Bunny. My honey Bunny.

Prince: So what do we do now?

Kai: First we must make certain that the probe has not gained entry to anyone here.

Stanley: Oh yeah, and just how do we do that?

Xev's bedchamber. Everyone watches as Kai wheels in the protein regenerator.

Kai: You will all disrobe and lean over the edge of the bed with your buttocks raised. Then I will take this - prong, and insert it, into each of you in turn. The low voltage electromagnetic flux will penetrate your bodies, and if it elicits no negative ions, you will be considered clean.

Stanley: Well wait a second, you mean you're gonna put that thing, up our?

Kai: Precisely.

Stanley: Oh boy.

Priest: You can't stick a prong in my ass, I'm the President.

Prince: You are also the source of all this trouble.

Priest: You are right, my Prince.

Prince: You may do as you will with these people. However, I will not be participating in your little test (smiles).

Xev: And why not?

Prince: It's unnecessary. The probe could no sooner live in me than it could in Kai. I am not of human constitution.

Xev: Oh no?

Prince: No. Although it's possible that I am perhaps no longer immortal, I am still more deity than man. The test would have no effect.

Xev: Well, let's find out (smiles).

Prince: Absolutely not.

Stanley:(angry) Listen Prince, we're all in this one together. You may be a god, you may be a man, you're certainly an enigma, but right now you're an enigma, who's about to get an enema (undoes uniform) - so, drop 'em, pal!

Prince: (scared) Please -

Kai holds up the prong, which crackles with electricity. The dead seem to be enjoying this.

Kai: Drop 'em.

The probing has begun. Stan is first - not comfortable, but takes it like a man.

Kai: Clean.

Bunny's turn to be probed. She whimpers, upset - which is hardly surprising.

Kai: Clean.

Priest's turn and he doesn't seem to be enjoying it.

Priest: The media must never get hold of this!

Kai: Clean.

While they others were being probed, Xev and Prince have a private chat.

Prince: Well, I told Kai what we did.

Xev: Yeah, so. What did he say about it.

Prince: He, actually, didn’t say anything. He just left the room.

Xev: He was probably curious to see you alive, after you told him we “did it”.

Prince: And, why would he be curious? And, why was there a reason that shouldn’t be alive today? Does it have anything to do with that living Kai you surprisingly ate?

Xev: Yes. That could have been you. If living Kai didn’t show up, I would have ate you.

Prince: And why is that?

Xev: Kai told me that I was going through a cluster-lizard mating cycle. At that point, female cluster-lizards become aggressive and eat their mate. We mated, but I ate living Kai instead of you.

Prince: Well, well. That defiantly explains the “aggressive” part.

Xev: But, that’s not all.

Prince: What’s more to it?

Xev: I’m with child and it’s yours.

Before Prince could say anything, in response, it is Xev's turn to be probed. She seems to be trying to decide whether she likes it.

Kai: Clean.

And finally, Prince's turn - clearly, he has never been so humiliated in all his life.

Kai: Clean.

Prince: Yes, well, thank you very much.

Prince pulls his trousers back up, not at all amused.

Xev: Well, it’s not like you ain’t got nothing I haven’t seen before.

Then, everyone looks over at Xev. Apparently, that was something, she thought, she was gonna keep to herself.

Stanley: Wait, did I hear right?

Kai: You heard right, Stan.

Prince: Xev, there are things that aren’t meant to be shared with other people.

Stanley: Please do share with the rest of us.

Prince: Xev and I had a sexual thrill of a lifetime. Is that all you want to hear?!

Xev, excitingly, puts her arms around Prince’s torso, from the side.

Xev: And we’re gonna have a baby too!

Then, the room got awkwardly quiet. Stan breaks the silence.

Stanley: Now, there’s an image. I bet your children would look like cluster-lizards.

Stan says jokingly. Prince took it personally and slapped Stan upside the head.

Prince: You’re on the very top of my list, Stanley Tweedle, and the list is not the place you wanna be.

Stanley: You need to calm down before you upset your woman.

Stan says again, jokingly. This time, Xev growls at him. Prince changes the subject.

Prince: And now that we have wasted enough time with your little parlor trick, perhaps we should get back to the business of seeking and destroying the carrot probe.

Once the carrot probe was found and captured by Kai, everyone is back on the bridge. Kai sits down beside Prince.

Xev: Well, that's one bad carrot down.

Prince: And one missing key to the Lexx still to go.

Stanley: Hey, don't worry about it, you know, we'll find it, it's gotta be around here somewhere.

Prince: Around here somewhere indeed.

He resumes playing chess with Kai.

Kai: Check.

Kai looks at Prince, who smiles.

Of course, by the time Xev and Stan made it to the Little Lexx, Stan helped her deliver a baby girl, named Xia, meaning glow of the sunrise. Prince made it on the Noah, but is determined to search the universe for his only child. If he’s the entity of Death and Xev is part cluster-lizard, there’s no telling what kind of power and abilities their child is capable of having.

Also, Priest asked Bunny to stay behind, on Earth, during the alien attack, but she insisted on coming along. Why? Because she waited til Prince appeared on the Noah to tell Priest that she’s expecting a little Priest of their own.

The End
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Adult-FanFiction.Org is not in any way associated with or related to FanFiction.Net

Adult-FanFiction.org (AFF, the site), its owners, agents, and any other entities related to Adult-FanFiction.org or the AFF forum take no responsibility for the works posted to the Adult-FanFiction.org by its members.

While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.

All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.

Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!

Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo

Lexx: Xev's Ordeal	By : lexxfan4life Category: G through L > Lexx Views: 1088 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Lexx or make any profit from it.

Lexx: Xev's Ordeal