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Sex, Lies and MI5	By : gallygaskins Category: S through Z > Spooks (BBC) > Spooks (BBC) Views: 2138 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Spooks and I do not earn any money from this fanfiction.

Chapter List
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Chapter 3

'What on earth am I doing?' Elise thought as she caught herself preening her hair and checking her mascara for the umpteenth time that night. "I don't even know why you've made an effort?" She said to her reflection, "you should've just worn your slacks, a baggy t-shirt and not bothered with the hair and make-up. What exactly are you expecting?"

She sighed; picking up the bottle of peach fragranced perfume a friend had given her for Christmas remembering their conversation when she had opened the gift. 'It's for those moments when you want to feel your best and for when you have a man coming back to your house,' her friend had told her. She squirted a little on her wrists and some at the nape of her neck. It may have been a few years since she and Lucas had last spoken but that didn't mean she should look like an old hag. This felt right and hoped it would evoke a reaction from him. “Annoyance would be good,” she muttered, having Lucas acknowledge that she could still be attractive and then regret that he had let her go would be just the tonic she needed.

She laughed, regret? Did she really want him to feel regret? 'Yes,' her heart sang, 'you know you still want him.' She shook her head, she may have wanted him but the last thing she was going to do was make it easy for him. "And that's even if he wants me. Which I doubt. Why would he?" Her face fell once more, her confidence waning. "That boat sailed when he left me for Elizabeta." She shed a tear, a dark stain trailing over her cheek as she once more looked at her face in the mirror, mesmerised by the route the drip had taken and completely missing the first faint knocks on the door.

Three crisp, loud knocks brought her from her reverie and, realising that Lucas must have arrived, she quickly righted herself before descending the stairs. On her way she tripped over her heels and bashed into the front door in her haste. She pulled herself up straight, what was wrong with her? Smoothing her skirt back down and adjusting her top she looked through the peephole and opened the door. "Lucas, hi?" She said, attempting not to look discomfited.

For what seemed like several minutes they stood looking at each other over the threshold, the slam of a car door up the road alerting them to the strange scene they seemed to be creating. "Are you ok?" He stuttered.

She gulped, glad that she had spent time making an effort for him, as she surveyed what stood before her, dressed in a dark navy suit with a pale blue shirt, the neck open. She blinked; he'd asked a question, hadn't he? "Sorry, what?"

"It sounded like you tripped," he looked down to the heels she was wearing and grinned. She'd never been much good in stilettos and tonight didn't seem to be an exception. His eyes flitted up, her shapely legs were encased in light denier black stockings, or rather he hoped they were stockings. A black pencil skirt fitted over her hips and down her thighs, and a silky black semi-fitted blouse with crystal buttons fluidly traced over her breasts and waist, its hemline touching her hips. The untamed long dark brown tresses that had blown around wildly in the breeze the night before had now been secured into a pleat and she'd made up her face, her hazel eyes surrounded by a smoky grey, her cheeks rose pink, her lips flame red.

Her mouth suddenly dry, Elise wetted her lips. A faint smile tinged her mouth, "I'm fine, I was upstairs and ..." she shook her head, "it doesn't matter. Come in, please."

He walked in, Elise never taking her eyes from the fine figure before her as she shut the door with her behind. He seemed slimmer than she remembered but then he had spent eight years in a Russian prison, not the best place to keep up a healthy appetite. "Can I take your jacket?"

"Only if you take these peace offerings first," he passed her a bottle of wine; she looked at the label, Dolcetto.

"I haven't had this in years. Thank you." Her smile genuine.

"I guess you still loved Italian food so I thought that would go very nicely." She nodded her approval. He passed over a small paper bag. She opened it taking out a pot and a small tin. She looked up to him for an explanation. "It was Ros' and Jo's suggestion, rather than give you chocolates and knowing that you did use to love pampering yourself, the two are combined." He pointed at the pot, "that's a chocolate facemask. The girl in the shop suggested that you keep it in the fridge and take it out only when you want to use it. That in the tin is a chocolate lip balm; I saw it by the tills and thought you might like that as well."

She was shocked and intrigued, but said nothing. Putting the items down for a minute to take his jacket from him and hang it up in the cupboard by the stairs, she picked up the wine and facemask before walking through into the living room. "Would you like to do the honours?" She passed him back the bottle indicating the glasses and the corkscrew that lay on top of the dining table; it had been set up for the two of them.

"Are we eating?"

"To be honest, Lucas," she called from the kitchen, the facemask now in the fridge, "I doubted you'd have had anything by now, you always used to eat late and I've been busy trying to get my marking out of the way so I thought that we could sit down together and talk whilst we're eating."

"What are we having?"

"Spaghetti."

He set the open bottle down on the table to rest for a bit, “lovely, haven’t had a decent bolognaise in a while. Homemade?”

“Naturally!”

“Good! It’ll be superb then.”

“I wouldn’t say that, not till you’ve tried it anyway.” She set two steaming plates down on the table. “I can’t afford the best cuts of meat anymore. Please, take a seat Lucas, you’re making me feel on edge standing there scrutinizing everything,” pulling out the chair for him. “Oh damn,” she muttered, knocking into him as she rushed off back into the kitchen.

Grinning, Lucas sat down, his head spinning with the closeness that they had just shared, her peach perfume at his nose. Silently, he watched her stroll back in, glass dish in her hand, “forgot the parmesan,” she smiled sweetly as she put the dish on the table before collapsing back into her seat. “Forgot to turn off one of the rings too, good job I went back.”

Pouring two glasses he handed one to Elise, “forgotten something else, haven’t we?”

“No, I don’t think,” her eyes searched the table, what had she missed? “Oh shit!” Springing back to her feet she nearly collapsed in her haste back towards the kitchen. Once there, she held onto the worktop willing her racing heart to slow down. Anyone else and she’d have laughed it off, but Lucas still had that power to turn her into a giddy schoolgirl around the most popular boy. But if there was one thing she was going to do, it was take off her shoes. Kicking them into the corner she opened the cutlery drawer and pulled out the required utensils before tottering back into the living room and passing a set to her guest. “That’s the problem when you have a baby,” she tried to reason, “your head seems to go to mush afterwards. Tuck in.”

“And you lose all sense of balance?” He asked, a wicked tone to his voice signalling that he’d noticed she was now in stockinged feet.

“I’m sure you can remember how good I am in heels.” She countered.

“Yeah.” He leaned toward her lowering his voice, “but I always thought you tripped so often because you knew I’d always catch you.”

“How perceptive.” She answered, leaning back in order to widen the gap between them. The atmosphere tensed, she lowered her eyes from his, disinterested with her food she swirled the pasta around her plate with her fork.

“Forgive me.” He finally said. “I should never ...” Losing his voice he closed his eyes. This was going well. Picking up some of the food on his own fork, he ate. “This is very good, better than I remember.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you remember that chilli ...” He stopped abruptly, this was old ground territory again.

Surprisingly, Elise laughed, “you mean the one that nearly blew our heads off? I think I drank nearly a gallon of water that night after just one mouthful and I’m sure there was steam coming out of your ears because you we’re too proud to give up on it.”

“Never cooked since.” Elise couldn’t stop laughing. “What?”

“Oh, come on. You must have cooked something. What about cheese on toast? No wait, beans ... on ... toast. Lucas?” Noticing the faraway look she covered one of his hands with her own. He pulled back, her touch seemingly burning him. “I’m sorry, that was insensitive of me. Perhaps this wasn’t such a good idea after all.”

He replaced his hand, this time covering hers, the pad of his thumb drawing circles over her skin. “Look at us. What did we do to deserve this lot in life?”

Shaking her head she caught his eye, “I don’t know,” she shrugged. “Lucas, if you want to go ...”

He cut her off abruptly, “you’ll understand? I seem to remember you saying that before.”

She could feel the build up even before the tears glistened along her lids, “what else could I say? When you told me you didn’t love me. Said that you weren’t sure you ever had there was nothing I could’ve said that would’ve kept you with me.”

“I was wrong.” He whispered.

“You said you’d met someone else, that you loved her!” The pain was all too evident upon her face.

Lucas picked up her hand placing the most delicate of kisses against her palm. Elise tried to pull back but he wouldn’t let her. “Elise, I thought I did,” he stood up pulling her to him, her hand still in his, his other resting at the small of her back. “I didn’t know what I’d lost until it was too late.”

“Lucas? What are you doing?”

“Elise, I’m trying to tell that when I left I did love you. I was wrong to go. I still love you, very much.”

The sickening sound of her one free hand connecting with his cheek shocked them away from one another. “How dare you?”

“What?”

“Lucas, how dare you come to me tonight and tell me that my life is a living hell because you were wrong?”

“Elise?”

“No, you listen to me,” she ranted, “because of you I ended up making the biggest mistake of my life. Because of you I married a man that I could never have the capacity to love, even if I’d wanted to because you had taken that ability away from me. What more do you want? I gave you everything and what did I get in return? Misery.”

“Elise, what about your daughter? Surely she was one good thing to come out of all of this.”

“But at what cost, Lucas? She doesn’t even know her father, he died in Russia.”

“He did?” Lucas found himself willing her to tell him the truth.

“Yes,” she replied coldly, unable to look at him. “He may have been a bastard but he didn’t deserve what he got.”

“He was FSB.”

She shook her head, “no.” Her voice barely a whisper.

His hands on her shoulders, he brought her to stand in front of him. “What do you mean, no?” He asked calmly. “Tell me.”

Her expression glazed, she was weary, no longer wishing to carry her secret any longer. “I just hope he’s a better man for it.”

“Pardon?” Lucas asked, unsure of where she was going with her train of thought.

“Even when she told me, I knew you weren’t dead.” Tears washed over her face as she tried to control her sobs. “If you’d died,” she looked up to find his expression questioning. She gave him a tiny smile. “If you’d died, I’d have felt it, here.” She grabbed out at his left hand, placing it over the top of her left breast. “A little piece of me would’ve died too.”

He closed his eyes, feeling her heart trying to beat its way out of her chest. “Elise, tell me.”

Allowing his hand to drop away she crossed the room to her bureau. A drawer was opened, a piece of paper was withdrawn and whilst she made her way back to him she unfolded it for him before handing the document to him. “There was no way I was going to lie on her birth certificate. Can sometimes make things a little complicated later on.”

He scanned the certificate for the father’s name finding what he hoped he would see. “She’s mine?”

“Don’t toy with me Lucas. Knowing you as I do, you probably expected that outcome already.”

He nodded, “it was a suspicion. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We’re spooks, well I was a spook; I was asked not to.”

Lucas shook his head, “why didn’t you tell me?” He repeated.

Fresh tears flooded her eyes, “you’d just broken my heart,” she wailed. She slumped into her sofa hugging the life out of the nearest cushion, her body racking with tears. “I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant, I was beside myself. It took all the strength I had to stop from phoning you right away and telling you because I wanted to tell you face to face. I prayed that you wouldn’t be late coming home. When you finally arrived I wanted to tell you straight away but you ...” She couldn’t go on, it was too painful.

“Got there first. Jesus, how could I be so selfish.” He reprimanded himself.

“Lucas, you didn’t know.”

Why was she defending him? “That was no excuse, Elise. I saw how happy you were and still I said those awful things to you, things I should never have said.” He paused as if thinking. “Who stopped you from telling me?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes, of course it bloody matters. I had a right to know.” Watching her nod her head, he softly asked, “you wanted to, didn’t you?”

“Yes, at first I thought I’d be able to win you back with the news; then when I’d realised that that was never going to happen I still wanted you to know. Instead I was married off to a man that I’d have gladly killed for a nickel and told by the powers that be ‘to keep my mouth shut’.”

“Do you know why?”

She shook her head, “I can only speculate that Harry hated the thought of me having to bring up baby on my own, what with you in Russia by then, and Jim was only too willing.” Lucas mulled over what she’d said feeling that something wasn’t quite right, but something that he should keep to himself for a while. Dropping her head to escape the intensity of his stare, Elise added, “I suppose we better talk about you getting to know Rebecca, that’s if you want to.”

“You named her Rebecca for me as well?” How self centred did he sound?

“Not just for you, Lucas.” She said, getting up from the sofa and moving across the room to pick up her daughter’s latest school photograph. Handing it over to him, she watched him smile. “But once you’d put the idea into my head I couldn’t think of a more apt and beautiful name for her.”

“Thank you.” Wistfully, he traced the image with his fingertips, he had missed so much.

“So, visitation.”

The frame crashed down onto the table. “Do we have to talk about it now?”

“Lucas, now seems as good as any other.”

Feelings of anger built up inside of him, “well, what do you want?”

“What do you mean, what do I want?” Elise stood her ground, unable to fathom why he was so upset with her.

He crossed the distance between them. As they stood mere centimetres apart he hesitated, wondering what to do or say next, weighing up the prospects and canvassing the results in his head. Questioning her seemed the obvious choice. “Can’t you see what I’m here for, Elise?”

“Apart from Becky, I haven’t the faintest idea.” Her heart was in her mouth, anticipating the blow that she knew would come.

He cupped her shoulders within his grasp, his eyes boring hole’s into hers. “Knowing how you know me so well, didn’t you ever stop to think that if all I wanted was my daughter then I’d have turned up when she was here?”

“You wanted to know the truth first, before you did anything. Didn’t you?”

“Elise, I already knew. Malcolm and Ros had pretty much helped me work it out this morning. When Harry came back into the office this afternoon after visiting with you I confronted him with the truth. He confirmed it to me.”

“You followed Harry here?”

“I called you from my car.” He admitted, a lazy smile touching his lips. “I hoped you still had Friday nights to yourself.”

“Lucas, I’m confused, what do you want?”

“You.”

Elise tried to pull away from him but he wasn’t as quick to let her go, “Lucas?”

A hand found its way to her cheek, stroking the skin beneath it. “Elise, listen. I’ve spent a long time hating myself for what I did to you. I had eight years in a Russian prison to think over what exactly went wrong. It all comes down to one thing. Elizabeta. She must have really loved her country to do to me what she did. To catch my eye and make me fall in love with her, agree to marry me, sell me to mother Russia once she’d got out of me what she needed.” Lucas hesitated, finding Elise to be unreadable. “She was an exotic fantasy that landed me in hot water when I should’ve stayed true to my feelings. Thing was, by the time I’d realised all of that it was far too late.

“I don’t know if anything I say is going to make a difference to you but I have to try. It’s you Elise, it always has been. For every day that I was incarcerated, you were with me; when I was being tortured or tormented, you were there helping me stay strong; you filled my dreams when I slept; my devoted companion whilst I healed. I got through it all because of you,” he moved her left hand to cover his heart, “because of this bond we share.”

She sniffed, “this is all a lie.”

His fingers tugged at the buttons of his shirt, finally removing it from covering his left arm. “Does that look like a lie to you?” Elevating his left arm, he pointed at a small tattoo halfway down his upper arm. “What does it say?” He calmly asked.

Elise peered at the blue writing, the detail a little shaky from the DIY tattooing procedure that had been performed whilst he had been confined, but she managed to work it out. “Meus jugis Elise.” She could feel his patience dissipate as she attempted to work out what it stood for. “Sorry, my Latin is a little rusty.”

Allowing his arm to rest, Lucas decided to put her out of her misery, “it says ‘my constant Elise’. I wasn’t lying when I said that I didn’t know what I’d lost ...”

“No, I don’t want to hear this. You could’ve had that done today.”

He rolled his eyes, “now you’re just being silly.”

“Silly!” She walked away from him, “I’ll tell you what’s silly. No, bloody stupid of me actually. To let you into my life in the first place. And let you back into it now!”

“Elise, don’t do this,” he warned.

“Why not? You seem to think that you can apologise for what’s happened and expect me to drop my knickers because you think you’re in love with me still.”

“I don’t think, Elise. I know I love you, I’ve never stopped.”

“Bullshit!”

He stared at her. “The last thing I expected was for you and me to sleep together tonight. I even told myself to be careful, to win your love back slowly but God, you can be so infuriating. All I wanted was the opportunity to tell you how I feel about you.”

Her arms crossed her chest defiantly, “close the door on your way out.”

“Ok, one last thing. The other night, when we all noticed your shoddy pass how do you think I felt seeing you there? How do you think I felt when I saw you talking so intimately and animatedly to Harry? How about when I followed you and you tried to get rid of me?”

“You soon found me again.”

“Spook, remember?” She looked away from him. “If you want me to be truly honest and base about this then I will. I do want to get in your knickers. I want you now on top of that table,” he pointed to it still awash with dinnerware and half eaten meals, he continued, “on the stairs, in your bed. I don’t care, as long as I can have you and make you mine. And I’ve wanted to do that to you since we spoke again last night for the first time in ten years. I saw the hatred evident in your eyes, Elise but that just turned me on more, if that were at all possible, you are a challenge and I want to fulfil you. When I finally got home I barely got through the door before I was getting hard just thinking about you, having to masturbate several times to get some release.” She looked at him, horrified, “and don’t deny you don’t want me. Look at you, you’re so incredibly breathtakingly beautiful but for God’s sake be honest with me, you dressed like that to entice me because you want me too. Just like I thought about what would turn you on when I got dressed up for you.”

He was absolutely on the money. She stood just watching him, couldn’t take her eyes off the sight of his still naked arm hanging by his side and the exposed left half of his chest. The way that he kept looking at her as if she was the main course certainly matched his spoken sentiments and for whatever reason she knew she would never be able to deny her attraction to him. He’d certainly affected her in more ways than one even if she had mixed feelings about what was actually going on.

And if she was to be absolutely honest with him and herself, she didn’t actually care about what was going on, after all she had ten years worth of pent up need for him to expend. With her feelings for him running high, his gaze upon her made her pool. Likewise, the more she thought about him and their situation, the wetter and hungrier for him she became. Reaching behind her back she pulled at the zip of her skirt allowing the article to drop to her feet as she continued to watch him. Her breathing quickened, becoming aware that in a few short seconds he would make his move to take her and become his once more, knowing that she was powerless to stop him.

Understanding her invitation, Lucas quickly moved towards her, devoid of trousers, before either one of them had the inclination to change their minds. He lifted her from the floor, her legs hooked around his waist as he supported her bottom in his arms. Glad to find she was wearing stockings he proceeded to move into the kitchen, sitting her on the worktop and pulling the scanty panties she had on to one side. Hungrily they kissed, groping at each other, causing jars and bottles of condiments and oils to tip over or slide over the counter in their wake. Elise with hands now at his hips, pulled at the elastic of his boxers, tucking her hands inside and freeing his shaft. He moaned into her mouth, his passion for her engulfing him.

Checking that she was ready for him and surprised at how wet she was but glad of it all the same, he pushed himself into her in one swift movement until he could go no further. She gasped with pleasure at each acceptance of his skill as he built up a steady pace with his thrusting. Feeling her own excitement building, he encouraged her to sit back, allowing his shaft to gently rub against her swollen clit, his mouth bent down to an uncovered nipple, his hands splayed over her bottom helping him with his occupation as he kept her from moving away.

Elise inched her legs up higher, the abrasions of hard smooth shaft against her clit becoming more prominent. She watched his surprise with pleasure as he realised that her fingers were encircling his cock and applying light pressure, as he continued onward. “Elise, good, oh my God, coming now.”

“Me too,” she managed as he continued pumping hell for leather in and out of her, now unable to stop the inevitable as she was carried away into outer space with a bang. She squealed, crashing backwards against the cupboard, crying out for him as the contractions of her orgasm continued enabling him to reach his peak and spill his seed within her with a grunt of her name. He grabbed for her, pulling her closer and kissing her deeply.

Still united, he picked her up, her head resting lovingly on his shoulder as he walked her upstairs to her bedroom carefully depositing her on top of the thick duvet. Quietly he undressed, his eyes never leaving hers noticing the dilated pupils of her desire and lust for him. “What have we done?” She asked, unable to understand her feelings.

“We fucked,” he said simply although affectionately, “but from now on, we’ll only ever make love.” He moved onto the bed lying beside her prone body attempting to decide what to do first. Suckling an earlobe he then began to trail languishing kisses down her neck and over her chin to finally kiss her bruised lips. She began to stir again from his most tender caresses, his penis responding in kind to her rekindling fire. Opening up her blouse he managed to pull it from her torso, throwing it onto the floor and within seconds the old chewing gum white bra that had seen better days followed suit.

He kissed down her sternum, his hands now circling her breasts and making them peak before suckling and flicking each one in turn with his tongue. She arched her back in response, gasping with delight from these new sensations she was feeling. No other man had played her like this before, not even Lucas; there was obviously something to be said for his ten year absence.

He continued southward deciding that he liked the look of the suspender belt and stockings where they were upon her body. He’d take them off later but there was something more immediate that he needed to do for her. He nuzzled at her mound, her legs opening for him at his very command as he continued to kiss and lick his way around her other set of lips. She moaned as his tongue circled her clit, he delved inside tasting her juices causing her to buck in response. One of his hands snaked over her abdomen, feeling through her downy pubes to tease between her lips and over her clit as he flicked his tongue over the swollen nub. Two fingers from his other hand tenderly stroking within her pulsating canal as he brought her closer and closer to orgasm.

He could hear her panting and calling his name, her fingers and nails massaging through the dark hair on the top of his head to keep him where he was needed, whilst throwing her legs open as far as she could to invite him in further. Her body rocked, the excitement evident before she exploded, screaming out his name again and again as she bobbed along with each new current, her breasts heaving, her body sighing before calming again.

Lucas knelt up, amorously surveying the wreck of the woman he had brought to orgasm twice, contemplating his next move to gain satiated satisfaction for them both. He unhooked each stocking from the belt, rolling each one down a limp leg, kissing and licking her inner thighs. The lacy belt soon also discarded to the ever growing pile of clothing as this last piece was removed from her body. She lay in front of him, spent but still absolutely desirable, “what are you doing?” she finally asked.

“Checking you out,” he replied with a cheeky grin. “Trying to decide what’s changed.”

“And?” She asked, extending a hand out to him in order for him to help her to sit.

He reached out for her left breast. “Your tits are larger, the nipples too.”

“Ever the gentleman” she teased, her eyes sparkling. “Anything else?”

He traced the silvery lines over her stomach, “your tummy is more rounded, and the stretch marks ...”

She grimaced turning away from him, attempting to hide herself with her hands. “Did you have to mention them?”

Gently pulling her back to him he kissed over the lines, his hands following the contours of her belly. “Don’t, Elise. You have them because of Becky and for that I’m glad. You’re so beautiful, I only wish I’d seen you pregnant, been able to touch you, feel her inside you.”

His sincerity overwhelmed her. Moving back she reached up and stroked his cheek, pulling his head towards her and kissed him, their tongues colliding together. She knew he’d meant everything he’d said, in that small moment she realised that he loved her and this wasn’t all part of some sordid little game.

She pulled away, her fingers following the lines of the Blake imagery on his chest. But it wasn’t enough, she sought everything that had changed in him, realising that the major difference had been the tattoo’s so she kissed every one, in turn. “Do you like what you see?” She heard him suck in a ragged breath as she continued onward, finding each of his nipples with her tongue along the way.

“Mostly,” she said before noticing that he was slightly offended with her answer. She smiled, hoping to ease the tension. “You just need fattening up a bit.”

He beamed, realising she fully understood what it was that he had had to endure. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” she purred, as she pulled herself into his lap and positioned herself over his penis. Gently, she took him within her as she slowly slid down his shaft, staying still once she could go no further, enjoying the feeling of him pulsating inside of her, she twitching around him in response.

“And all that pasta we’ve left uneaten downstairs.” He jested, matching her breathing and enjoying their union as much as she was.

“It was your choice to take me on top of the kitchen cabinets,” she teased breathily, “you did mention the table to start off with. Could’ve eaten at the same time.”

“It would’ve been a bit of a mess to clean up,” he suggested, leaning back a little so that he could nip and suck at the glorious alabaster of her neck and the pleasure speckled facade of her upper chest. “I didn’t think you’d thank me for that. Besides, we’d have never been able to concentrate. Eating and wild, unbridled, passionate sex don’t exactly go well together.”

“You’ve got a good point there.” Elise said, as she began to rock her hips, gaining moans of approval from the other party. “I think, on this occasion though Lucas, I’m the only thing you need to feed your appetite.”

He agreed heartily. For there had only been that craving for human contact he had so sorely needed to be satiated after being away from it for so long. Meeting up with Elise again had made him realise that. And whilst her straddling body worked them both up into another united frenzy, he knew that this particular variety of human contact could only ever be fulfilled by her. They continued feeding each other during the course of the night and into the morning, both finally realising that there was no place they would rather be than locked within each other’s embrace, but both secretly hoping that nothing else would ever threaten their relationship again.
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Sex, Lies and MI5