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Unexpectedly Expecting	By : hatochiisai Category: 1 through F > Criminal Minds Views: 8336 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, nor do I make any financial profit off of writing this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
Unexpectedly Expecting
Hatochiiai a.k.a. Ahmose Inarus
Disclaimer: No own. Piss off.
SLASH WARNING (what else?)

Chapter 3

Reid sighed. The case had only taken them three days. Now it was day four. They were back in Quantico and he was in the elevator heading for his first appointment with Dr. Melinda Blair. And Reid was NOT happy. Hotch just glanced at him, smiling slightly.
"Oh, stop pouting." The man chuckled. "This will be good for you."
"… I don't want to." Reid sighed.
"I know you don't. But it's for the best. And you know it."
"… I will NOT admit to that!" Reid announced, stubbornly.
"You just did." Hotch laughed.
"What does Garcia always say?"
"God I hate profilers?" Hotch asked as the elevator opened.
"Yeah. That." Reid snorted, stalking out. Hotch grinned and followed.
They walked into the office and Reid walked up to the receptionist.
"Hi." He mumbled. "I uh… I have a three pm?"
"You must be Doctor Reid." Reid and Hotch turned as a woman walked towards them. She was Dr. Tsai's physical opposite. Instead of tall and thin she was short and plump. Instead of Dark hair she was sun bleached blonde and had a tan complexion with pale gray eyes. Instead of a stern motherly look, she had a perky, almost sisterly feel. Reid accepted her hand.
"I'm Melinda Blair." She announced. "I'm glad you made it." Reid nodded, mutely. "Come on in!" And she walked into her office. They followed and she shut the door, then turned to Hotch.
"Aaron Hotchner." The man said, offering his hand. She nodded and accepted it with a knowing smile.
"The father, right?"
"… Uh… Yeah." Hotch admitted. She nodded again.
"Please have a seat. What do you want me to call you?" She asked, and sat down in a large, overstuffed arm chair. There was another arm chair a few feet away, slightly facing her seat, but Hotch and Reid opted to sit on the sofa. Reid was hugging his middle again (he hardly ever did anything else these days). Hotch laid his hand on Reid's thigh, giving it a comforting squeeze.
"Spencer and Aaron will be fine."
"Alright then… Valerie Tsai talked to me this morning." Dr. Blair began. "She's concerned about your mental state, Spencer. She feels that you are in denial and trying to hide it."
"I am NOT in denial." Reid sighed, rolling his eyes. "I know perfectly well what's going on."
"… But you're doing your best to ignore it." Dr. Blair pointed out.
"I am not! I'm going to the doctor weekly, I'm taking a dozen freakin' vitamins and stuff a day, I'm—"
"You're doing everything that people want you to be doing, but you're trying not to think about it, aren't you?" Reid was silent. "You refuse to know your baby's gender. I understand you're not planning on keeping it?"
"No. I'm not." Reid said.
"Why?"
"… I don't want to be a parent." Reid sighed, wringing his hands. "I don't want to have a baby… I don't want to be pregnant, I…" He sighed as Hotch took his hand and squeezed it. "I don't want this. Any of it."
"… I understand." Dr. Blair said, nodding. "But is it possible that all of this is because you're afraid?"
"… I AM afraid." Reid admitted, and Hotch started to rub a hand up and down his back.
"I know you are." Dr. Blair said, and cocked her head. "Spencer… I think that you're trying to ignore it as much as possible… to get involved as little as possible… You're just trying to get it over with. I think you're refusing to bond with the baby because when you have it and it gets adopted… You intend to just go on with your life and pretend that none of this ever happened." Reid tensed and froze. Hotch frowned, watching the boy curl in on himself.
"Spencer?" He asked, gently.
"Agent Hotchner… may I speak with him alone?" Dr. Blair asked.
"… Yeah. Of course." Hotch said, and stood. Reid shot him a pleading look. "You'll be fine. Just promise me you'll be honest. LET her help you. I don't want you running circles around her like you do the Bureau doctors." Reid blinked, then offered the man a weak smile and nod. Hotch nodded back, then left the room. Dr. Blair watched Reid silently. The boy sighed and squirmed.
"Make yourself comfortable, Spencer." Dr. Blair said, gently. She watched as he paused, then slowly slid his feet out of his shoes and backed into the corner of the sofa, drawing his feet up and hugging his knees to his chest, hiding his face. "Tell me how you felt when you found out."
"… I didn't believe it…" Reid whispered.
"Understandable."
"But… they showed me the test results. And then showed me the… sonograms. And I saw it's heart beating."
"And then? How did you feel?"
"… Numb." Reid breathed. "My mind went… completely blank. I felt hot. I was shaking. I couldn't breathe."
"You had a panic attack." Dr. Blair said, looking down at some papers before her. "They almost had to give you something."
"I remember voices… but no words… people. Faces. Hands. I didn't want them touching me… but they wouldn't stay away."
"And then?"
"… Hotch was holding me. Talking to me… He told me it was all gonna be okay. He lied."
"What do you mean?"
"He said everything was okay."
"Isn't it?"
"… I'm pregnant."
"Spencer…"
"And don't tell me there's nothing wrong with that." Reid snorted. "I'm a BOY!"
"Spencer. On the outside, your gender is male. But inside, you are both."
"… I don't want to be."
"I know you don't. But you are. And you can't change it." Dr. Blair pointed out. Reid just sighed. "You know… so many couples out there would give anything to have what you have."
"… I understand that. I know there are couples out there who wish they could have children together, but they can't. And it's not fair. Why couldn't this happen to one of them? Why me?"
"Spencer… Sometimes, we don't have answers. We just have to accept things."
"I don't want to just accept it! I want to know WHY!" Reid cried.
"I'm sorry. But I don't think that is something you will ever know. No matter HOW smart you are." The woman said in a soothing tone. Reid just sighed. "What are you afraid of, Spencer?"
"… I'm not what I thought I was." Reid mumbled. "I feel like a stranger in my own body. There's something growing in me… like… like a tumor!" Dr. Blair laughed at that one.
"Spencer. It's not a tumor. It's a BABY. It is YOUR child." She said, and Reid shook his head, upset. "It's is AARON'S child." Reid was silent at that. Slowly, he turned and stretched his legs out. Dr. Blair cocked her head and watched closely. A pale blush crept over her patient's cheeks, and he ran a hand over his own belly, eyes distant and staring. Dr. Blair leaned forward, sensing that she was close to getting through the boy's walls, and moved to kneel beside him.
"You and Aaron love each other. And in a moment of love, the two of you created something… You planted a seed in a field that should have been forever barren. A spark of life was made. That spark is now a flame, burning bright within you." She laid her hand on Reid's stomach, and he stared at her, eyes wide. "HE put this within you. And your body, as amazing as it is, accepted it and turned it into something great." She smiled up at him. "This is not your body turning on you. This is a testament of the love you and Aaron share. It's nothing short of a miracle, Spencer. I know it feels unnatural… but this is how you were born. Tell me. Were you a genetic experiment?"
"What?" Reid asked, startled by this question that seemed to come from left field.
"Were you a test tube baby?"
"What? NO!"
"Then what you are, as strange as it is, IS NATURAL." Dr. Blair said firmly. Reid stared at her, looking surprised. Dr. Blair took his hands in hers, and pressed them to his belly. "THIS. IS. NATURAL. Strange, and miraculous, but natural." Reid's eyes darted around aimlessly as he mulled this over. "You were born like this. And as new and frightening as it is… THIS. IS. YOU." Reid stared into her earnest gray eyes, and she stared right back. She lifted a hand and placed it on his head. "And it's okay." And slowly, Reid nodded. She could see the tension evaporating from his form. She smiled, and he gave her a tiny smile in return.
"You wait here. I'm going to have Aaron come back in."
Hotch was sitting the waiting room, flipping through magazines, slightly irritated. Everything had to do with babies and nurseries and maternity… He had actually ended up reading "Green Eggs and Ham".
"… I like that one." Dr. Blair said from the doorway. Hotch jumped, staring. His eyes were wide, and Dr. Blair laughed at the look on his face, like a guilty child who had been caught in the cookie jar. His face even pinkened a bit. "I guess I really don't have anything out here for men…"
"… No, not really. No." Hotch affirmed, setting down the work of Dr. Seuss and standing.
"Would you like to rejoin us?" She asked.
"… How is it going?"
"For the first day, in the small amount of time we had… I think we made a large leap."
"Good. He's easy to work with once he gets over that stubborn streak of his." Hotch commented, walking in. Reid was standing now, looking over the doctor's collection of books. Hotch decided to let him alone for the time being and sat down. Dr. Blair smiled and took her seat again too.
"So tell me, Aaron." She said, crossing her legs. "What was your first thought when they told you Spencer was pregnant?"
"… Wait a minute." Hotch said, now looking suspicious. "Why are you asking ME this?"
"Well, Spencer doesn't know what you felt."
"No, I mean… This is about him."
"And seeing that his mental health remains well during his pregnancy will largely depend on your mental stability and acceptance of his condition. He is going to naturally rely on you, and I want to make sure that you are a good, solid pillar that is HEALTHY for him to lean on." Dr. Blair said. Reid discreetly peered over his shoulder at Hotch, seeing the surprise on the man's face. But then the Unit Chief nodded and sat back.
"… I was in shock." The man admitted. "Disbelief. I almost laughed. It was…" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I never thought I would hear those words. But…"
"… But?" Dr. Blair asked.
"… I was relieved."
"Relieved?"
"He had been acting odd… feeling sick… I was terrified that it would be something else. Something serious. Some disease or condition or…" Hotch sighed again. "I was so glad that it wasn't something that would… take him away from me."
"Aaron…" Hotch looked up at the soft voice, and he felt a lump in his throat at the raw emotion he saw in his lover's eyes.
"… Nothing makes you feel more helpless, than sitting and waiting for a crucial diagnosis on someone you love. Someone you would die to protect." Hotch said, then leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. "I would do anything to protect Spencer. I would place myself in harm's way in a heartbeat to spare him pain, be it physical or emotional. I would offer myself up to torture and death to protect him. But… if his own body had turned against him, there is nothing I can do to protect him from that. And that's what I was afraid of. I was afraid that there was something wrong with him that I couldn't save him from. That fear… that helplessness… It's paralyzing."
He froze when gentle hands took hold of his own and he lifted his eyes, staring at Reid who was kneeling on the floor before him, tears in his eyes. Hotch smiled slightly. This poor kid had spent more time in the past couple of weeks in tears than Hotch had ever seen in the years he had known him. Hotch reached up and brushed the tears away with his thumbs, then guided his lover's face up to meet his own in an emotional kiss.
Dr. Blair smiled and averted her eyes, feeling very warm at the pure love and devotion she saw in the kiss, and feeling like an intruder in the couple's little moment. She scribbled in her notes, and when she set her eyes on the pair again, her smile only widened. Reid was now curled up on the sofa beside Hotch, resting his head on the man's shoulder. The pair had their arms around each other, and Hotch had one hand on Reid's stomach, gently rubbing with his fingertips.
"I have to say…" She said, grinning broadly. "The two of you together really have something special. Spencer…" Reid looked at her. "You have a very strong, devoted man here to hold you up. I think you're going to be fine with his support, as long as you allow us to help you." Reid nodded, giving the woman a shadow of a smile. "And Aaron. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you too. Remember… you have to stay strong and confident for Spencer." Hotch nodded, smiling slightly as he pressed a gentle kiss to Reid's hair.
"Spencer?"
"Hm?"
"… Are you ready to learn your baby's gender?" Dr. Blair answered. Reid's face was immediately flooded with doubt and fear and he turned away from her, withdrawing his arms from around Hotch to wrap around his own abdomen again. And Dr. Blair watched as the boy shut down and closed himself off. She sighed, then smiled and walked over, kneeling and laying a hand on top of his head, peering up into his eyes.
"That's okay." She told him. "I'm here to help you get through this fear that takes over. We can't expect miracles. These things take time." Reid gave her a brave little smile and nod, and she stood.
"I think that's enough for today. You both look drained." She told them. They both smiled in confirmation of her observation and stood. "Spencer. I would like to see you back in a week, okay?"
"… Sure." Reid said, with a smile and nod. Hotch smiled at Reid's willingness to return, and hand in hand, they left Dr. Blair's office.
"Tonight." She called after them, and they turned to look at her. "I want you two to go out and have a nice evening together. A nice romantic dinner, maybe some cuddling on the sofa in front of a fire… and then, I want you to share a secret with the other. Something you have NEVER told anyone. Something that you pretend never happened. And then I want you to talk about your relationship, and the baby." The pair looked a bit confused, but a moment later, they were smiling and nodding. She smiled back. "See you next week." She sighed and walked to her desk and sat down, dialing Dr. Tsai.
"Valerie. It's Melinda… They just left… It went VERY well, and Spencer is coming back next week… Val, with you and me taking care of them, they'll be just fine."

"Why are we stopping?" Reid asked as Hotch pulled over.
"We're doing what Dr. Blair said." Hotch replied. Reid blinked. Hotch smiled. "I'm taking you out to dinner." And he pointed. Reid didn't even have to look. He knew where they were. There was a tiny little Italian restaurant that the pair liked to frequent when they were in the mood for an intimate little date. Reid smiled slightly, and the pair got out of the car. They walked to the little hole in the wall restaurant, Hotch guiding Reid with a hand in his lower back. They slipped into the dimly lit place and were shown to a secluded little nook and sat down. The pair shared a quiet dinner with casual talk. They didn't talk about the baby, or the doctors… They talked like they would before they found out Reid was pregnant.
And when their meal was over, Hotch paid the bill, gave Reid a tiny kiss, and they returned to the car. They headed to Reid's loft apartment and Hotch went to shower while Reid fed his cats and put the coffee on. Then they switched, kissing as they passed one another. Hotch waited for the coffee to finish brewing, then prepared two cups and settled down on the sofa. A few minutes later, he heard the bathroom door opened and he heard his loved softly pad across the hardwood floor. A moment later, the boy sunk down onto the sofa beside the man, taking the offered cup of coffee and sipping it. He sighed and smiled, sinking back into the soft leather of the sofa
Hotch sighed and lowered the mug.
"… When I was in High School." Hotch said slowly, and Reid looked up at him. "I really didn't play sports. Even at that age, I wanted to be a lawyer. Like my father. So… I joined Mock Trial." Reid smiled slightly. "I always wanted to play the Prosecutor. There was this… kid… small… geeky. He liked to play Defense Attorney. Against me. I would prepare the best cases. I thought I was on par with actual Attorneys." Hotch chuckled slightly.
"But… over and over again… this kid, Daniel… He would beat me. His father was a plumber. His mother was a waitress. MY father was a prosecutor. And yet this kid was always beating me. It infuriated me." Hotch sighed. "I told some of my friends. I was actually friends with a lot of the jocks… football, baseball, swimming, wrestling… And uh… one day after school we… we caught Daniel leaving late. He would stay at the library."
Reid felt a cold feeling run down his spine… God, that sounded so much like him. Stay late in the library… then when he left the building, finding himself surrounded… And Reid felt sick about what he knew Hotch was about to say.
"And we… beat him up." Hotch whispered, staring down into his coffee. Reid stared in shock. He never believed that his lover… HIS Aaron… would have ever done something like that.
"… Aaron…" He breathed, sounding hurt. Hotch looked up at him.
"That night…" Hotch said, softly. "I realized I had done something completely against everything I wanted to stand for. I had never been more ashamed of myself. And now, I look at you and…" He reached out and stroked Reid's cheek.
"He was a lot like me."
"Yes." Hotch murmured. "I've actually dreamed it. The same thing… only instead of Daniel… it was you. And I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. This is… the first time I've ever told anyone about that."
"… It's your secret."
"… Yes." Hotch said. Reid sighed. Now that Hotch had told him a secret, like Dr. Blair had told them to, he would have to tell Hotch a secret. Something he had never told anyone before. And his mind immediately settled on an event… He squirmed inwardly. No… No, he would tell Hotch something else. He didn't want to tell him THAT. But… It was one of his biggest secrets. Something he had never told anyone about… and it was something that he tried to pretend had never happened. And now that Reid had thought about it, he couldn't get his mind to think of anything else.
"I was in college." He said, softly. Hotch watched Reid set his mug down and draw his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. "I was fifteen, almost sixteen. And I had just started my senior year. Because of my age, I had a private room. Right next door to the Resident Assistant. And the House Mother checked up on me routinely." He smiled slightly. "Ms. Saenz. Her children were grown and married… all boys… She uh… she coddled me. Ridiculously. It was my first taste of what a… NORMAL mother might be like." He sighed.
"Anyway… There was this one guy. Terry. He uh… He befriended me. We would study together. Hang out together in our dorm rooms. And… sometimes… he would… let me drink with him."
"How old was he?" Hotch asked, his tone dark and cold.
"… Twenty three." Reid admitted, and Hotch winced. This guy was eight years older than Reid… Hotch did NOT like where this was going.
"One night… after Ms. Saenz had checked on me for the night, he came to my room. We watched TV. I didn't have one when I went to college, he had bought it for me as a gift… But… we watched TV… Sometimes he would bring his own DVD's… He uh… He tried to show me 'Girls Gone Wild' but… well… apparently I turned hot pink." Hotch smiled at that. "Anyway, he didn't bring beer this time… he brought some Rum… some Vodka… some Jack Daniels… He had me try a shot of the Jack… I didn't like it. He ended up letting me have the Rum… I got dizzy and… I think I passed out.
Reid took a deep breath. "I woke up to the touches. Hands on my thighs. Lips on my chest. I was naked. I… tried to speak. But I couldn't. I had never been drunk before. But I have since then. And that first time was different. I think he drugged me. He… told me to be quiet… that I would like it… And he… he touched me… fondled me." Hotch stared at Reid, horrified. The boy squirmed. "He… commented on my body. I was just barely beginning to enter puberty. He told me not to worry… it would… it would get bigger. And then he… groped my… my backside… I think I started to cry. He said it was okay… I don't know how long it was. But he just… felt my body. All over. And he looked at me while… pleasuring himself. Then he… covered me up with my blankets… and he kissed my cheek and… said he would see me tomorrow. Then he told me to sleep well, and he left.
"The next day I went to class even though I felt horrible. I didn't want to be alone. He was in one of my classes, and he said he would come by my room that night and we could hang out again… And I was so scared. I stayed at the library until it closed at midnight. And even then I was too scared to go to my room. I… I went to my RA. He was a good guy. He really looked out for me. He could tell something was wrong, but I wouldn't tell him what. He uh… He let me stay in his room that night.
"Apparently, after I fell asleep, he heard Terry banging on my door. And he went out into the hall and told him to stay away from me. He didn't know what had happened, but he would alert the House Mother and the Dean of Students if he thought Terry had done something to me. He… protected me. I never told him what happened… but… he knew Terry had done something. Terry moved to another dorm after that. And he dropped the class that we had together."
"… You never reported him?" Hotch cried.
"… I was scared to."
"Why? Did he threaten you?"
"No." Reid replied, shaking his head. "You have to understand. I went to college at age twelve. There were a lot of people who didn't think I was old enough to be in that kind of environment. I was afraid that if I reported it… the school would change their mind and send me away until I was older."
"… And by now, the Statute of Limitations is up." Hotch growled.
"It's okay." Reid said softly, and gave Hotch a small smile. "Justice was done."
"What do you mean?"
"Terry Posadas."
"… Why is that name familiar?"
"… You and Morgan and Gideon." Reid said with a smile. "You put him away. Two years before I joined the team."
Hotch stared. "… He was a Serial Statutory Rapist… And then later progressed to rape and murder."
"… Yeah." Reid sighed, looking down. He smiled slightly. "I was proud when I joined the team that had unknowingly given me justice."
"Spencer…" Hotch breathed, shaking his head in disbelief. "Why haven't you ever told me?"
"… I've never told anyone." Reid admitted as he was drawn into the Unit Chief's arms. He closed his eyes and cuddled into the man's warm, comforting body. "I love you…"
"I love you too, Spencer." Hotch murmured. Soon, they had taken up one of their favorite positions. They were sprawled across the sofa, Hotch leaning against the arm of it with Reid resting between his legs, the boy's back on the man's chest. Their hands were on Reid's abdomen, their fingers interlinked. Hotch gently kissed the damp brown curls on the doctor's head, then slid his hands under Reid's shirt and began rubbing his stomach. Reid shivered and squirmed.
"… Aaron?"
"Yes?"
"Tell me the truth…"
"Okay?"
"… Do you want to keep the baby?" Reid asked, and Hotch sighed.
"Part of me does." Hotch admitted. "I love you, Spencer… and the idea that you and I were able to… create a new life… But I know why you don't want it. And I agree with your reasons. The baby will be better off with another family. Neither of us can give it what it needs. And I can't put you, OR the baby through the trials of having the public know that you are its… well… Mother."
"… Mother?"
"… You are carrying it. You will birth it. You are its mother." Hotch pointed out. Reid sighed. He did not argue. "Now you tell me something. I know you aren't ready to know the gender. But… what are you hoping for?"
"… I'm not hoping for anything."
"IF we were going to keep it… would you want it to be a boy, or a girl?"
"… I… I don't know." Reid admitted. "I really don't know anything about girls."
"What about names?"
"… I've… never thought about it." Reid mumbled. "I mean… I guess if it was a girl… I would name it after my mom."
"Diana Reid."
"No… Diana Hotchner." Reid said, peering up at Hotch with a little smile. The man grinned.
"Hotchner, hm? So if it's a boy, we name it Spencer Hotchner?"
"Oh Lord, no." Reid groaned, grimacing in distaste. Hotch chuckled.
"Aaron Reid?"
"Oh God!" Reid cried in amused dismay. Hotch grinned.
"Oh, come on. It doesn't sound that bad!" The man argued. Reid rolled his eyes, then sighed.
"I wonder if the baby will… will be like me and mom."
"What do you mean?"
"Be a genius… with the risks of possibly developing schizophrenia."
"I dunno." Hotch sighed.
"I sure hope your genes will be dominant." Reid snorted, and Hotch chuckled.
"I dunno. I think a little mini-Spencer would be cute."
"Hardly." Reid snickered. "How would you like a five year old out-talking you?"
"I'd be the proudest father in the world." Hotch said, and Reid turned to face him with a small smile.
"Aaron… we're not keeping it…" Reid reminded. Hotch smiled, laying his hands on Reid's upper arms.
"… I know." He said, and Reid slowly returned to his previous position, laying his head on Hotch's chest and lightly closing his eyes. He let out a slow sigh as he felt Hotch slowly lifting the hem of his shirt to expose his stomach. Then he felt his lover's hands gently stroking his belly. And within minutes, the gentle touches had soothed him into sleep. He didn't even wake when Hotch carried him across the loft and tucked him into bed.
Down on the street, a man in his car watched the lights turn off. Smirking, he drove away.
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