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Rockabye	By : Bucken-Berry Category: G through L > Law & Order Views: 1593 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or its characters. No profit is being made.

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George woke up with that "wrong" feeling that meant something had happened that had upset him greatly, but he couldn't remember what. He frowned, trying to remember. He was cuddled next to Elliot, so it hadn't been a fight with him...
Then he felt the IV in his wrist, and the memories came crashing back over him. He was pregnant. It was possible and illogical and ridiculous and distressing, but it was true.
He didn't want to have a baby. He didn't want to experience morning sickness- well, he already had, technically, but he didn't want to continue- he didn't want to have backaches and sore legs and feet, he didn't want strange cravings, he didn't want to gain weight and become so hormonal that he was an emotional wreck. He didn't want to have people rioting over this new situation, and he didn't want to be jeered at when his belly got big. He didn't want the risks of a c-section and he didn't want a newborn living in his house. Elliot's kids were okay, but they weren't babies. Maureen was twenty-two, Kathleen was seventeen, and Dickie and Lizzie were thirteen- the only problems George and Elliot had were their attitudes, really.
Elliot wrapped his arm around George's narrow waist, pulling him closer and kissing his forehead. "Are you okay?" He asked softly.
"Yeah," George replied. "I... we need to talk about this, though."
For the first time in the history of their relationship, Elliot didn't object to the idea, even though it would probably end up with George trying to get in his head. "Okay. Do you want to start?" He asked. "I can tell this is bothering you."
"Obviously it is," George grumbled. "I just... this doesn't feel right. And I thought you would think that it wasn't right for men to have babies!"
"I..." Elliot paused, trying to word his thoughts. "We didn't do anything to try and make it happen; it just did. So I don't think we did anything wrong- God's plan is just a little different for us, and the other men this is happening to, than what we thought it was."
Staring down at his stomach, George said, flatly, "I think God's plan must be to use me to make other people laugh as much as possible. Once I start showing, I'm going to look fucking hilarious. It'll make the serial killers I treat really eager to open up, too." He could picture the bulge of pregnancy on his stomach already, and he hated the idea. On women, it was sort of cute, and he always smiled inwardly when he saw a pregnant woman holding her stomach as she walked, or someone rubbing a woman's stomach. But he didn't want that to happen to his body.
"George, I know it won't be easy, especially once you have to tell people. You're right that it'll be much harder on you than me. But I am going to do everything I can to support you. I'll find a way to make sure your patients still respect you, and I'm going to tell everyone who looks at you funny that they're insulting my lover, and I don't take kindly to that. I'm going to tell everyone we know about our relationship and that that baby is mine. I'm going to support you and the baby every way I can," Elliot promised.
"Thank you, Elliot," George said, touched. "But still, I just... I don't want a baby. I thought we would just get your kids out of the house and then..." He shrugged. "I don't want to be pregnant and I don't want anything that happens after. And, honestly..." He tried to compose himself better for a moment. "Your kids are one thing, because they're already teenagers and most of the work is already done, and what isn't, still isn't anything I have to deal with. But this is a child of our own, and I'm not sure I'll be good at parenting him or her."
"You're already a great step-father to the kids," Elliot said. "And you'll be a great father to this baby."
"Elliot, your kids don't think of me that way. I know you're trying to make me feel good, and I appreciate that, but your family is so traditional... Kathy may accept us, but it's hard for your kids to think of their father as bisexual after all these years, and as a result, I become a target for their bitterness, because in their mind, if I wasn't here, you would still be with Kathy. It's like what any kid feels when a divorced parent gets with someone else, amplified by ten because it changes their perception of you so much," George said quietly. He fiddled with the tape holding the IV in place at his wrist.
Elliot cupped George's cheeks. He kissed him gently and said, "But even if they don't see you that way, you're still a good parent to them. And this baby will be ours from the start. Think about it, George!"
Seeing the excitement on Elliot's face, George almost felt guilty for the remaining apprehension he felt. And yet, Elliot's excitement was part of the problem. "Elliot, I just don't understand why you're so happy right away. I thought you didn't want any more kids, and I thought you wanted to keep our relationship a secret from as many people as possible. And that's sort of what I wanted, too, quite honestly."
"I..." Elliot trailed off. Sighing softly, he murmured, "I did want it, I really did. But... I'm sort of starting to feel that empty-nest thing. Even if the twins are only thirteen, Maureen's moved and out and Kathleen will in a year or two, and the twins will in five or six years. On the one hand, I don't want any more kids, but on the other hand, I love kids and I don't really want to have an empty house- well, empty except for us. Even if they have grandchildren someday, it wouldn't be the same. I wasn't about to ask you to adopt a child or anything, but now that this is happening, I'm really happy." He looked George in the eye and added, "And I think, if you give this idea a chance to grow on you, you'll find that it's a blessing in disguise."
George exhaled slowly, taking his time to take it in. "I... I suppose. I'll give it a chance. But Elliot, why didn't you tell me any of that sooner?"
"Like I said, there wasn't really anything it could have accomplished. But now we're going to have a baby of our own, and they'll be the happiest kid on the planet- even despite the, um, unusual circumstances." He kissed George's forehead and said, "George, baby, this is going to be weird and complicated and really frustrating, but this is the happiest I've felt since we got together. I want this more than I've wanted anything in a long time."
Elliot slipped his hand under George's hospital gown, causing George to shiver slightly, and rubbed George's stomach. "I always knew that getting with you was the best decision I'd ever make," Elliot whispered. "I promise, as soon as you adjust a little, this won't be so bad. And, think about all the things we can do together- both during the pregnancy and after the baby is born. It's going to be amazing, baby, and I want to share it with you."
George was finally convinced that Elliot could help him adjust. He smiled then, and said, "I believe you. I need a little more time to warm up to the idea, because I sort of like the shape my stomach is now-" He laughed softly- "But I think I'll warm up to the idea soon."
He reached under his gown too, setting his hand under Elliot's. He was one month along, so the baby was little more than a mass of cells at the moment, but he knew that in a few months he would be able to feel it.
Elliot removed his hand and grasped George's face, fingers curling to hold his jaw. He nipped at George's chin, eliciting a small moan, before pulling him into a passionate, blazing kiss. "You're amazing. I love you," Elliot whispered, pressing his forehead against George's.
"You too," George murmured, grabbing Elliot's hands and lacing their fingers. He sat in Elliot's lap, wrapping his arms around his neck to kiss him again. Elliot stroked his back, and George sighed contentedly into his mouth.
"When can we go home?" George asked, pulling away. "We told Maureen and Kathleen we'd-"
"I already told them I'd call when I found out, and to just eat frozen pizzas and stuff until we got back," Elliot said, laughingly slightly. "But I think the doctor said it would only be a few more hours, if you stop being dehydrated."
"Well, the anti-nausea meds worked," George muttered happily. "I guess we'll just have to buy some ginger ale on the way home for when the morning sickness reoccurs."
"I remember a few tricks," Elliot said. He pulled George in tighter. "God, this is so incredible. I'm so happy."
"I'm glad. You deserve it," George murmured.
"You deserve to be happy too. And I know it won't be because of the baby yet, but I think I know of something else..." Elliot said, his voice becoming husky. He took George's ear into is mouth, licking it.
"Are we... Are we even allowed to have sex when I'm like this?" George asked, giving an almost inaudible groan.
"I'll ask the doctor when we leave. But if not, there's always other things..." Elliot said.
"Sounds like a plan to me," George said. He kissed Elliot's throat, biting lightly, before pulling back and resting his head on Elliot's shoulder. Elliot shifted him so that his back was against Elliot's chest.
George's worries vanished for a while, and he allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of happiness Elliot was exuding. It was the happiest he'd ever seen him, and the joy was almost contagious. Maybe he wouldn't like this right away, but we was liking the idea more and more by the minute.
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Rockabye