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The Journey to Love: Seaching For A Soulmate	By : sissouthernink1994 Category: 1 through F > Criminal Minds Views: 2088 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I don't own Criminal Minds or CSI: NY. I'm not getting paid for this. This is all for fun.

Chapter List
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Oh this chapter pokes fun at strippers. If you’re a stripper, please don’t take it personal, it’s just fiction.

Chapter 3: The Letter
                Keith from the mailroom was delivering mail. He never listened to anyone; he always had his iPod playing too loud. Annoyingly loud at that. He saw Sheldon in the lab.
“Here Dr. Hawkes. This is for you. FBI must be important,” he yelled, disturbing others in the lab. Sheldon reached over and took out one of his ear buds. “Hey, why’d you do that?”
“To see if your ears were bleeding from the noise. You shouldn’t listen to music at this level. With this so close to your eardrums, it would be like standing in front of 10 ft. speakers a concert on stage at the Garden. At the rate you’re going, you’ll be deaf before Christmas. Doesn’t the ringing of your ears annoy you when you take these out? You probably can’t even hear someone coming up behind you. Someone could sneak up behind you and you’d never know it. That’s too dangerous. Go to the settings menu and adjust the volume setting.” Keith glared at the doctor, put the ear bud back in his ear and left the lab. Sheldon shook his head “Kids”. Then he noticed Keith pausing in the hall, adjusting his volume settings. Stella laughed as he sat down to open his mail.
“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to do that? I was afraid he was already deaf and couldn’t hear me.”
“Well, at this point it’s a future disability that’s avoidable.” Inside his envelope was an invitation from the FBI Behavioral Analysis Unit to be a part of a profiling training conference and seminar. “Wow, I had forgotten all about this.”
“About what?” Stella asked, looking up from the computer.
“A few years ago I applied to attend some FBI training seminars, but I either got a letter saying that they were full at one place or to try another conference. Of course, the other conferences would be in another state and at an inopportune time. I was always trying to get in the BAU training here in New York. But this letter says they have room at a conference in Quantico, VA.”
“Profiling? Criminal Profiling? I didn’t know you were interesting in that.”
“Well, now that I’m a CSI, it could help us out some on cases. I mean we know some, like kids who torture animals can grow up to be serial killers, children who see abuse can become abusers themselves. But not like what they work with. I mean they break it down to race, age, lifestyle, you name it. I have no idea now where this job will take me. I mean, I started out as a surgeon.”
“Sounds interesting. How many spots are open?”
“Not sure; this is seems to be a specific invitation. Says here they have checked my CSI record and have recommended me for the training. Can they check my records like that?”
“They are J. Edgar’s people.”
“I’m really interested in going. Mac in his office?”
“Yeah, looks like he just went in.”
“Let me go see him now.” Sheldon walked out of the lab and Stella continued analyzing the data she was working on.
                Sheldon knocked on Mac’s glass door and he waved him in while he finished his phone conversation. Sheldon wondered if the Senior CSI had ever thought about this type of training. He considered it an honor that they still were inviting him; even after he figured they probably ruled him out.
“What can I do for you Hawkes?”
“I have an invite to join a criminal profiling training class in Quantico.” He gave Mac the letter.
“FBI? How’d you swing that?”
“I filled out some applications years ago and the classes were always full. But this time it looks like they are requesting me. I would like to go. What do I need to do?”
“Well, looks like it’s being paid for. The higher ups won’t complain about that. Quantico, huh? Nothing here in the city?”
“New York is where I always tried to apply for. Here or D.C.”
“When did you get interested in profiling?” Mac asked.
“I guess I’ve always wondered what makes people tick. Maybe this will help. I never know where it might take me.”
Mac handed Sheldon a piece of paper. “Right now, to The Classy Lassie. There’s been a robbery and a body discovered in the dumpster. Take Stella and Danny with you, Flack will meet you there. I’ll look this over and get back to you.”
“Thanks Mac.” Sheldon took the address and walked to back to the lab.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
The Classy Lassie
“What kind of place is this?” Stella asked a few blocks from arriving “I’ve never heard of it.”
“Sounds like a sex shop or strip club, maybe?” Sheldon said. “Kinda scary when you think about there’s been a robbery and a death on the premises.”
“Yea, wonder if something else was going on in the Champagne Room.” Danny said. They laughed.
“Come on you two. There’s Flack.” Stella said, shaking her head. They each grabbed their kits from the back of the SUV.
“NYC, never a dull moment. Gotta’ love it.” Don said.
“Ok, what have we got?”
“The body in the dumpster is Fred Hewlett, age seventy-two. Discovered when the strip club kitchen help was taking out the trash. None of the workers recognized the name, so he may not even be related to the robbery. Now that, is another mystery. They deal mostly in credit for the bar. Cash is only collected by the dancers on the stage.”
“So was a dancer robbed?” Stella asked.
“Yes, several. But not before the perp tore the place apart, shot three people, all minor injuries, and then blasted his way into the ladies dressing room.”
“Sounds like he was looking for someone specific. Who robs a strip club?” Danny asked.
“Maybe you should put out an APB for anyone trying to spend large amounts of one dollar bills.” Sheldon joked.
“We did send an alert to the banks and major stores.”
“Oh he wouldn’t be that dumb, would he?” Stella asked.
“Stell, he robbed a strip club; he’s not working along Danny Ocean knocking off casinos in a movie.” She shrugged.
“Ok, Hawkes dead body first?”
“Might as well. Let’s get the dumpster diving over with. Oh wait, are the waders in the SUV?”
“You bet they are. Let me go get them.” Don looked confused.
“Waders?”
“Yeah, man large wading hip boots. Mostly used in churches by clergy and deacons for baptizing. We use them for the rats.” The detective shuddered.
“Say no more.”
“I’ll start finger printing inside.”
“Ok, we’ll join you as soon as we can.” Danny handed Sheldon a pair of boots and a coverall and they headed towards the dumpster.
                An hour later, they were able to join Stella inside. The place was a wreck- overturned tables, bullet holes in the walls, doors and glass. Then there were dishes and glass all over the floor.
“Hey guys, some witnesses say they saw the perp touch the pole on his way to the changing room.”
“Whoa I’m not touching that!” Sheldon exclaimed, the thought of smelling vaginal fluids grossing him out.
“Someone has to; he might have left a print.” Stella scolded.
“How are we supposed to fingerprint that? There’s no telling when the pole was last cleaned. Or who or what touched it.” Danny was now regretting every strip club he had ever been to.
“Well, see if you can find some that aren’t smudged. Sheldon why don’t you finger print all the employees while I finish dusting the doors to the changing room.”
“Ok, Stella.” Sheldon began fingerprinting the bouncers and waitresses while Danny tried to figure out the best way to fingerprint a stripper’s pole.
                After not finding any usable prints, Danny instructed the owner to clean the pole so the dancers wouldn’t be exposed to their CSI chemicals. Then he began to help Sheldon finish fingerprinting the dancers. Neither of the gentlemen had ever that many women trying to flirt with them before.
“Let me make an announcement ladies, before we go any further, I’m a happily married man with a daughter so please stop trying to get me to come back for a lap dance.” Danny stated.
“Oh handsome, you can bring your wife. I often dance for couples, usually the wife’s request to the husband.” One dancer said laughing, with several others joining her.
“And what about you Mr. Chocolate? You coming back to see me?” Another dancer said, as sexy as she could. Danny and Sheldon both laughed. “What’s the matter you play for the other team?” She snapped, scowling.
“Yes, actually I do. I’ve been gay for years. Maybe I’ll send some of my gay girlies here.” He had finished her prints and she got up, disgusted. He laughed, shaking his head.
“Gay girlies? Is that the new name now?”
“Well, my friends don’t like the word lesbian. They say it brings on negative, masculine thoughts. And they are very feminine and girly but hate the term lipstick lesbian. Therefore, they call themselves gay girlies. Been using that name for years.” The next plea for business was directed at Stella.
“What about you sister? You coming back?”
“I didn’t see any men here. Did you Sheldon?” He shook his head no. “If I go to a strip club, I’m going to the Neck Tie with Sheldon.”
“We did have fun there that one time didn’t we?” They laughed.
“Sure did.”
“I’ve heard of the place. Linds went there for a bachelorette party and none of them realized it was a gay man’s club before booking the party. They stayed and spent money anyway.”
“The dancers don’t care who they dance for as long as the money is left when they’re done.”
                About three hours later, they had finally finished collecting evidence and were headed back to the lab. The night shift was going to be very busy. Sheldon and Stella were headed towards the elevator when Mac stopped them.
“Hey Sheldon, invitation approved.” Mac said, handing Sheldon back his letter. “I’ve made a copy and I called to reserve your spot. They’re sending your plane ticket with instructions for you to fly with your gun. Might be some arms training involved. I think you might be leaving on a military flight since you can’t fly armed. Unless you’re escorted by an Air Marshall. And they may do that.”
“Thanks, Mac.”
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The Journey to Love: Seaching For A Soulmate