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Crystal Clear Blue
By : Ellixer
Category: S through Z > Xena
Views: 2547 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0Disclaimer: I do not own Xena or its characters. I make no money, this is purely for entertainment - Chapter List
Another day is beginning, the sun high, the wind cold, the pain still aching. If I could forget the image of her body hanging, devoid of head and what I felt at that exact moment, then life would be ok again. The bitter cold is finally beginning to leech into my bones. I’m happy to feel something different. ‘Gabrielle!’ She’s calling for me. I know she has been up since I walked away from the campsite. Staying away to let me deal with the turmoil my own way. I love her, she’s alive, that is what I need to hold onto. But I can’t help but feel that there is a part of me that will not recover. ‘Gabrielle.’ Xena’s face appears above mine, for a moment I swear she’s an angel. Hands desperately search my body, verifying there are no wounds. She bundles me up into her arms, walking me back to the camp. Without letting me go, she sits back upon the furs, wrapping one around us. Hands rub and down my arms in an attempt to warm me. I’m beginning to notice just how cold I am. My teeth chatter and my body shakes. ‘Tell me what to do.’ She pleads, lips against the top of my head. ‘Stop dying.’ I chuckle but I’m not sure why I find it funny. ‘Gabrielle.’ It’s whispered as if a sigh. ‘Imagine what I’d be like if you were really dead.’ Again I chuckle, but choke back a sob and a fresh onslaught of tears. ‘If there was another way…’ I’m noticing she’s talking but isn’t actually saying anything. What can she say? What was done had to be done. At least that is what she always says. Somehow sacrificing is always the way she has to go. If it had been me would she have fought any less than I did? ‘I’ll be fine Xena.’ I won’t, but I will cope. I’m going to have nightmares the rest of my life. ‘Just give me time.’ ‘If it’s better that I leave…’ My body turns, hand slapping across her face. My reaction is so unexpected, even by me. I turn back away, she doesn’t let go of me though and I can’t move. ‘Xena….. I wouldn’t have fought so hard to get you back just so you could leave.’ My jaw is clenched, the words are forced. My anger is making me tremble more than the cold. ‘I just want you to be happy.’ The anger dissipates in seconds. If I don’t forgive her, she will leave. I turn to face her again, my fingers gracing her face where my hand had only moments ago struck. ‘I’m happiest when I’m with you. Just when I close my eyes I see….’ I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the image away. If feels as if I’m there; the lightning, the cold rain pouring down soaking every inch of me. I open my eyes again, fingers still stroking her cheek. ‘I’m sorry.’ I never meant to hit her. A softness is coming back to her features. Her eyes still glow with hurt. ‘I’m sorry too.’ She means it, I know. I rest my head against her chest, closing my eyes. I focus on trying to breath. One thing at a time and I can move on. Her heart beat provides a rhythmic mantra for my ears. I feel safe here in her arms. Slowly the pain is becoming less pronounced. I feel like I can breath for the first time. I finally take the time to just melt into her, enjoy the warmth that only she can bring me. Her fingers trace up and down my arm. I don’t have to remember these things because I have them right now. I’m overjoyed. Our breathing seems to sync, in and out at the same interval and time. Everything around us becomes still, the wind has even disappeared. ‘Where do we go from here?’ I whisper breaking the silence. ‘Home.’ We continue to breathe as if 1 person. I think the fire has died, I’m not sure; Xena’s touch is beginning to captivate me. ‘Xena?’ I turn to look at her. ‘Yes.’ Her eyes shift to look into mine, deep pools glistening in the sun. I’m not sure what I want to say, what I need. ‘Lets go find somewhere warm.’ Her eyes question me but she never speaks. Without hesitation we gather our things and set out.- You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
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