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I'm Your Shield	By : HobNobsAndTea Category: S through Z > Wallander (UK) > Wallander (UK) Views: 1069 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Neither I, nor any of the writers own any of the characters or story lines of this story. All rights belong to the writers and producers of "Wallander" . We recieve no money for writting this story, only the enjoyment of writing it

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            Magnus groans and rolls over looking at the clock. It's just past 10. A lone beam of sunlight has invaded the room through the heavy curtains. The loud knocking continues. Fuck. It sounds like someone is trying to kick the damn door in.
            He drags himself from the bed, yawning and stretching as he walks down the hall. He can't help the sleepy smile when he checks the peephole and sees you, with coffee. The way the sunlight hits your hair is luminous. He opens the door.
            "Hi."
            "Hi." You smile and it takes his breath away. Holding out the coffee and danishes. "Peace offering?"
            He steps to the side to let you in. You set breakfast on the coffee table. As you turn, he takes you into his arms and kisses. Despite the morning breath, you kiss him back. His hands move down your back, pressing your body to his. You can feel he's semi-hard.
            "I do believe that's a better peace offering."
            You sit on the couch as he disappears into the bathroom. The place was cleaner than the last time you were there. He drops on the couch next to you. You lean back into him.
            "I'm sorry I was a bitch yesterday."
            "Why the sudden change in temperament?"
            "Good night's sleep. A little house cleaning therapy. And you calling me your girlfriend."
            "Ah." He nods and reaches for the coffee. It's light and sweet with a bitter back. "Espresso shot?"
            "Uh-huh. I pay attention." He smiles and plays lightly with your hair. "Up until yesterday, I thought we were just fucking. I didn't think you cared nor were the type."
            "What type?"
            "Relationship type. I've heard the rumors. And I've heard alot more since we've been seeing each other."
            "I've heard them too. Not all of them are nice."
            "And you don't deserve that." You turn in the circle of his body, draping your jean clad legs over his. He leans down and kisses you, tasting like a weird mix of mint and coffee. The kiss grows into teeth and tongue. "I missed you last night."
            "I missed you too." Your gaze flick from his mouth to his eyes. "Before we wind up spending our day off in bed together-" He gives you a look. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, let's go do something."
            "What did you have in mind?"
            "Movie? Lunch? Bookstore?"
            "Sounds good." He kisses you, holding the end of your chin. "You need to let me up first."
            "Right." You drop your legs and watch him walk away down the hall. Part of you still felt suspicious. What was so special about you to make a player like Magnus quit the game? Or was he still playing, just on a whole different level?
            Standing outside the ice cream shop, the two of you eating Sunday’s Magnus looks at you. “You really are something else.” He says taking a bite of his ice cream.

            “Why’s that?” You question.

            “I haven’t quite figured you out yet. Every time I think I know you, you surprise me.” He admits.

            “That’s a good thing isn’t it?” You question. “We’ve only been working closely together the past couple of months. Not that long at all.”

            He smiles a bit, “Seems as though both our credibility in the department has improved considering we do work so well together.”

            You smile a bit, “It’s easier to go into work now. Not that we hardly ever leave. Detective Wallander is such a slave driver sometimes.”

            “Well he does tend to get the job done.” Magnus gives a sigh as he wasn’t overly fond of Curt all of the time either. Most of the time it was fine, but sometimes they would end up butting heads. Twice Wallander came in and took over cases that belonged to Magnus basically pushing him aside and taking it out of his hands. It was infuriating. “But aside from a few differences of opinion . . . .”

            “Magnus.” He looks at you seeing your eyes were glued across the street. He turned to see what had caught your attention. “It’s him, that’s him. That’s Chet Wilkinson.”

            Martinsson turns to see the man that had been at the center of a drug and underage prostitution ring that the department had been working on before even you had gotten out of the academy. “Can’t be. He’s never in the country, he operates in various places around the UK. He’s never here in person.” Immediately without a word you checked your weapon and quickly headed across the street in the direction you saw the suspect disappear in. “Niki, stop!” But it was too late. Magnus quickly follows after you checking after his weapon as well.

            You slip through crowd causing Magnus to lose sight of you and into an empty alleyway behind the main street of stores. You hurry down to the end of the street to an abandoned warehouse where you saw several of his escorts disappear into, and several guards were set outside. Making your way around to the side you find a service door that the lock was broken on, and forced it open slipping inside.

            You could hear voices and see lights in what looked like the office of the warehouse and several more men stationed around it obviously armed. You take out your gun clicking the safety off not wanting to be caught off guard.

            Slowly your make your way through debris slipping through the wood on a broken wall that helped you get close to the office where you could hear the voices inside. You were definitely outnumbered, between the guards outside, the guards inside, and about 12 men inside the office that you could count. It seemed like a meeting of some kind. Moving a bit closer looking through a crack in the wall. This place was half an inch from falling over, it was amazing it hadn’t been condemned.

            You saw two other notorious figures that were well known to the department that were just as allusive as Chet. Jason Connelly who was another Drug runner, and Bruce York who seemed to have connections to everything shady in the country. This was completely insane and unprecedented.

            As you listened, it sounded as though they were talking about joining forces, considering a partnership between the three of them that would expand their territory and be incredibly lucrative for everyone involved. They caused enough trouble operating on their own; if they joined together things would be 10 times worse than they were now.

            You continue to watch and listen but your mind starts to go over various ways you could break this up. Collar at least one maybe even two which would definitely put a wrench in the works. How could the department not know about these three being in negotiations with each other. It seemed like an extremely large and heavy situation that the police should have been aware of.

            Magnus stood back in the alley starring at the warehouse seeing the guards standing outside looking at the situation. “God Damnit Niki.” He says under his breath. This wasn’t the first time you had gone rouge on him and he thought he had made it quite clear that he wasn't going to tolerate you doing that. It was dangerous, it was reckless, and he was your partner. Leaving him behind without a word was completely foolish. He took out his phone and quickly texted your number.

            Your phone begins to buzz on your hip and you take it out checking the message, ‘Where the fuck are you?’ You sigh shaking your head.

            ‘You aren’t going to believe this. Details soon, can’t talk now.’ You text back looking back through the crack in the wall as you lean a little closer listening trying to get as many details as you could. It seemed that this was the initial meeting and that no big decisions were going to be made right now. At least you didn’t think there would be. You weren’t quite certain.

            Magnus growled slightly as your message was confirmation that you were somewhere inside the warehouse on your own. “Fuck. FUCK!”
            Magnus's phone rings. It's not a number he recognizes. "Martinsson."
            "What the fuck are you doing?"
            "What do you mean?"
            "This meeting is under surveillance from vice and special crimes. Not to mention SSS."
            He sighs and presses the bridge of his nose with two fingers. "Rayne has gone in."
            "Get. Her. Out." The line goes dead.
            He squeezes his phone. "Fuck. Fuck, Nik. Fuck."
            He calls your phone. You ignore the vibration . He calls a second time. You ignore it. Your text vibration goes off. You can't suppress your irritated sigh. Sliding your foot for a better position, you pull out your phone. 'Get. Out. Now. Vice. Special crimes. SSS. Surveillance.' You inwardly curse then put away your phone. Something has happened in the room while you're distracted. "Well well, what have we here?" You start to turn but a large hand clamps over your mouth. You elbow your attacker in the ribs but he just oomphs and presses your mouth harder.
            Another thug takes your gun, nearly breaking your trigger finger.
            The two proceed to beat the shit out of you. Chet, Michael and David look on in disgust as they slip out, calling the meeting early.
            Magnus watches as they leave but still no sign of you. He fidgets with nervous energy and worry. How could you be so stupid? When he last car starts up, he sneaks into the building the same way you did. A gunshot echoes in the building. All stealth forgotten, he runs full out in the direction of the report.
            "Niki!" He slides across the floor. Your face is battered and bruised and your barely conscious. Blood is seeping from a wound right above your temple. He feels for your pulse, finding it rapid and thready. "Fuck. Nikola. Fuck!" He puts pressure on your head wound. Single handedly flipping out his phone, he dials emergency services. "This is Detective Magnus Martinsson. I've got an officer down. Repeat officer down."
            "What's your location, Magnus?"
            "Becky?"
            "Yea, what's your location?"
            "I don't know the address here but it's a warehouse in Deacon, cross street Magnolia. Open door up the alley. And Becky, it's Nikki." There's a long pause.
            "Keep her safe, Magnus."
            "Come on, Nik. Stay with me. Why? Why didn't you wait?" His heart pounds. In that moment, he hates you and he loves you.
            Magnus stood at the window watching as the doctors worked on you. It seemed your injuries weren’t too bad, but your skull was cracked, there was a bruise on your brain, Cleaning the blood from the wound and repairing what they could before stitching it up. They attended her other wounds that required stitches as well making sure everything was clean and disinfected.

            When they were finished you were moved to a room to be kept under close observation. “How is she?” Magnus asks.

            “She’s beat up pretty good. No broken bones, no fractures aside from the one on her skull that we repaired. There is bruising on her brain but that should heal up on it’s own. She’ll need to take things slow, very easy until then. She’s incredibly strong.” He doctor walked closer to her and indicated the marks on her knuckles that were broken and bloody. And showed him the bruises and cuts on her knees. “These indicate both defensive and offensive wounds. She didn’t go down quietly, she was fighting them. Hard.”

            Magnus sighed and shook his head, “Of course she did. Probably why they decided to just shoot her and be done with it.” Magnus walks closer to your bed seeing the bandage on your head and the others in various places over your body. “Can I speak to her? When will she wake?”

            “We’re going to keep her sedated. She’s not . . . .what we would call cooperative or entirely safe. When she started to come out of it before, she punched an orderly and kicked a nurse.” He said in disbelief.

            “Ah.” Magnus had been curious as to why she had been strapped down to the bed in leather restraints that he felt were a bit tighter then necessary. She really must have terrified them. “She was scared. She doesn’t like to be scared. And the last thing she knew, someone was hurting her, beating her. She didn’t know you and just reacted.”

            “Information that would be extremely helpful the next time she is brought in under suck conditions and circumstances.” The doctor said wishing someone had mentioned that before his staff was assaulted. “She’ll be fine, Detective Martinsson. We need to keep her here for observation for a few days just to be certain. I’ve no doubt that Officer Rayne will be back on her feet very quickly.”

            The doctor picked up his clipboard and left the room leaving Magnus alone with you. He sighs and holds your hand in his, his fingers playing over your palm and down your wrist. What was it about you? Any other girl, any other time in his life, a notch on the bedpost and then he was gone. On to the next new conquest. But you. He didn’t want to leave you. He wanted more of you, as much as he could get, all the time. He loved the sound of your voice, your smile, your beautiful soft hair, the color of your eyes that shined in the sunlight. And you were strong, so very strong. She never coward away from danger, she never backed down from a fight.

            Reaching up he gently touched the split of your lip that had nearly healed. That wasn’t from tonight’s disaster that was from your play time Thursday night. Oh the sex, the sex was absolutely . . . . it defied words. He’d never experienced such intense passion, powerful orgasms that caused you to feel the earth move. Every single part of your body, from head to toe to the tips of your fingers electrified with such intense bliss. Your strong beautiful body wrapped around his as he holds you tight. You always smelled so good, like flowers and French Vanilla coffee.

            His fingers moved to your hair and stroked it slowly as he looked at your face. You couldn’t keep doing this. You were going to get yourself killed. He’d noticed that you were purposely throwing yourself into the line of fire. After what happened to Dax, you didn’t want it to happen again. Definitely not to Magnus.

            Leaning down over you he just studies your face, “This nonsense had better stop.” He says seriously. “This self-destructive path you’re on . . . . you have got to stop this Niki.” He said in frustration. Leaning down he kisses your cheek ever so gently, still holding your hand in his.

            After a moment the pressure in the room changed and Magnus looked over finding they weren’t alone. There stood Becky who immediately came to see her friend after her shift was over. Magnus instantly released your hand stepping back from the bed.

            “Puft.” Becky scoffs. “Who are you kidding?” She walks over to the other side of your bed with a sigh seeing the bad shape you were in. “Jesus kid.” She shook her head.

            “It’s all superficial. Nothing fatal or very serious.” He says crossing his arms. Becky gently rested her hand against your forehead, tears in her eyes seeing her friend in such a state.

            “Magnus, I don’t know what this game is that you are playing with her, but you need to stop it.” Becky said outright.

            He arched a brow at her sudden shift in topic, “Becky, I know I’ve stated this before many many times already . . . but what goes on between us is our business. As long as we keep it out of work, then we can do as we please, when we please, where we please.” He said sternly wishing to God people would just grow up, back off, and keep their noses out of his business.

            Becky clinched her jaw and walked around the bed towards him keeping her voice low not wanting to disturb you. “Damnit Magnus. You’re notorious not just in this precinct but in others as one of the biggest womanizers in Europe. Woman aren’t even people to you, they’re just something to conquer just so you can say you could. She doesn’t need that in her life, damnit she deserves better!”

            “She’s not a child Becky! If she didn’t want anything to do with me I have no doubt in my mind I wouldn’t even exist in her world.” He couldn’t stand here; he had no desire whatsoever to continue this argument. “Visiting hours close in 15 minutes, I suggest you make it quick.” He snapped before turning and storming out of the hospital.
            Wallander lays a hand on Magnus's shoulder. "You should go home. Between here and the hospital, you're exhausted." He nods and finger combs his hair.
            You haven't left his thoughts since the incident happened. But as he steps into the shower, his thoughts are less about your welfare and more about how your body felt pressed between his and the tile. He closes his eyes, his hand skidding down his wet body to grip his hard cock. His breath leaves him in a sigh. The water beats down his back. His hand splays on the tile. He can feel your neck beneath his fingers. His breath comes faster with each stroke, his hips thrusting in time. He can almost hear your moans and rapid mewls as he thrusts into you. Your breasts smashed into the tile. The reddish pink head of his cock is swollen and purple, begging for release. How he wishes your were there instead of in that hospital bed. Would you let him take care of you when you were released or would you be a stubborn ass? "Oh god, Niki." Did he love you? Fuck. His chest heaved. He just wanted you to say his name. He could feel you hot and wet wrapped around him. He groans his orgasm into the hot shower.
            You look up at the knock on your door. Magnus peeks over the bouquet of roses. You can't help the smile that spreads across your face.
            "Hi."
            "Hi again."
            "I'm so glad you're awake." He sets the roses on the bedside table. Leaning down, he takes your lips. His tongue traces the healed cut. "I missed you."
            You bite your lip, looking up at him. "I missed you too." You saved me. I love you. Wait. What? Dammit. You pull him down into a deep kiss, drawing him into you, breathing him in. It was true. But no way could you say it. "You saved me."
            "I'm your partner."
            "I was stupid. I did exactly what Dax did." Your head thumps back on the bed.
            "Yup. I'm not gonna sugar coat it. It was stupid. And now we're both riding desks and under supervisory review. Oh and we're being investigated by IA." You sigh. "Not to mention SSS has lodged a formal complaint against you."
            "I'm sorry, Magnus."
            "Sorry means it won't happen again. I'm done with this self-destructive bullshit." He takes your hand. "No more lone wolf shit." You frown, looking at your lap.
            "I have to ask. Because things are getting serious for me."
            "What things?"
            "This. Us." His mouth forms a silent o. "Is this just a new game? Or are we going somewhere?" He lets go of your hand and leans back, stretching it his legs and crossing his arms over his chest. "I mean the sex is beyond. Beyond. But if all we're doing is fucking then maybe we should call it quits."
            "If you have to ask me that question after I've been here every. goddamn. day, maybe I should ask you that question."
            You sighed and your eyes moved over to the roses that he brought you on the bedside table. Becky had been continually chirping in your ear since you woke up. Several others had a few ‘suggestions’ as well and it was driving you mad. He genuinely seemed to like you, and care for you and God knows you felt something for him. You wouldn’t say it was love, you wouldn’t use that word under any circumstances. Not to yourself, not even out loud. You had your career to focus on and didn’t have time for that sort of thing.

            “Probably not the best day for questions like that.” You say softly turning your eyes away. Magnus had the same problem you did. He was quick to react and be defensive, and rarely if ever considered the backlash from that. Seeing your reaction he immediately regretted his own but wasn’t about to apologize for it.

            He moved to sit on the bed next to you and took your hand, “You’re looking better today.” He said reaching up and touching the bruise on your face causing you to flinch slightly. “Sorry.”

            “They said I can go home tomorrow. All my blood tests are coming back clean. No infections, nothing to worry about. They’re putting me on a round of shotgun antibiotics anyway just to be absolutely certain. That warehouse was pretty filthy.” You explain. “And Becky brought me this.” Reaching over you picked up the large hat she got you and put it on. It was loose so it wouldn’t hurt the wound where they had shaved a big spot so they could stitch up the wound. It didn’t look bad at all. “I guess I’ll be wearing it for a while so it doesn’t look like I cut my own hair.”

            Magnus grinned and touched your chin with his thumb and forefinger thinking you did look quite adorable. But his smile faded a little bit. There was no way you had any idea just how lucky you were. The fact that you were healing and getting better was excellent, but there was a fine line you could have easily tripped over of being paralyzed, permanently brain damaged, or just flat out dead. It made him sick deep inside, and it turned his stomach and made him feel like he was falling to imagine having to wear black as he stood by your casket at your funeral. “How are you feeling though? Do you feel well enough to go home?” He questions.

            “Are you kidding? I’m so sick of this place it’s not even funny. This is the most uncomfortable bed in the history of beds. I miss mine. It’s way bigger, and doesn’t feel like I’m being stretched out on a torture rack.” You say pushing the pillows behind you a bit better. “They won’t let me get out of bed very much. I told them I can do stuff just fine on my own, they’re still giving me crap.” You say with an annoyed sigh.

            “You do as your told for once otherwise you’ll have to deal with me, and not in a fun way.” He says seriously. “Don’t be stupid Niki, you aren’t going to get better any faster by rushing things and being foolish.” You sigh and turn your eyes down with a nod. You hated hospitals, you always had. Standing up he leans over and kisses you gently, “They told me I could only stay for a minute. You get some rest and I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” You give a nod and he smiles kissing you again before making his way out of the hospital room.

            Leaning back against the bed you stare in the direction he disappeared in for several long moments. All of those stories about him couldn’t have been right. Just unfounded rumors spread by bored and bitter police officers who had nothing better to do with their time. Shaking your head you close your eyes and lay your bed back turning off the light to go to sleep. You couldn’t wait to get out of here tomorrow.

            Sitting on your couch munching on some mini oatmeal biscuits while catching up on your TV shows you’d missed, your phone starts to ring. Reaching over you pick it up, “Rayne.” You answer popping another cookie in your mouth.

            “Niki . . . it’s Becky . . . can I come over?” She asks.

            You frown hearing the tone in her voice. “What’s wrong?”

            “It’s . . . . can I just come?” She questions.

            “Yeah, yeah of course. Come over.” You hang up and go into the bedroom changing into a better shirt wondering what was wrong.

            A little while later a knock comes to your door and you open it seeing Becky who instantly comes in. “Hey honey.” She says sympathetically hugging you.

            “Hey. What’s wrong?” You close the door looking at her. She stands there for a minute as if she didn’t know what to say. So she takes out her cell phone and shows it to you.

            “This was in the parking lot behind the bar earlier tonight.” She says turning on a video she’d taken earlier in the night. It was of Magnus leaving the bar holding hands with a woman you’d never seen before. You watched as the video followed him out to the parking lot.

            “You were spying on him?” You say in disbelief looking at Becky. “Becky, that is so not cool.” Why in the world would she do that?

            “Shh, watch.” She says holding the phone in front of you. Things got a bit more hands on between Magnus and the woman, then a little more lips on, and then tongues became seriously involved, then they disappeared into his car and the video stopped. You just stared at the screen your heart twisting in your chest. Becky looked at you for several moments knowing that you were going to be hurt by this. “Oh, baby I’m sorry.” She says putting her arm around you.

            You’re still a little in shock, as your mind started to run through a million explanations there could be. “You shouldn’t have been spying on him like this Becky.” Were the only words that seemed to find their way out.

            “But didn’t you want to know that he was running around on you? That the stories really are true?” She questioned.

            Closing your eyes you lean against the wall shaking your head. “So what if he did. It’s my own fault if that’s the case.” You’d offered many times but he seemed reluctant to engage in any sort of intimacy beyond kissing and cuddling. You kept meaning to ask him about it, but like at the hospital if you brought up anything about the two of you he seemed to get seriously defensive like you were attacking him and you wanted to avoid doing that if you could.

            Becky just blinks starring at you wide eyed. “Excuse me?”
            “We haven’t had sex since before I was in the hospital. He has needs like any other healthy guy and I couldn’t meet them. So if he did go with someone else . . . .” Where you even saying these words? Why weren’t you pissed off? She just stares at you another moment before punching you as hard as she could in the arm. “Ouch!” You holler rubbing your shoulder. “Still bruised!”

            “Someone’s ‘girlfriend’ being injured is no excuse to fuck everything in your zip code!” She yells at you. “Jesus! Just how hard a knock did you take to your head!”

            “Hard enough that your YELLING is giving me a fucking headache!” You shout back. You take a breath and shake your head, “Look, Becky. I’m pretty tired and I start back at work tomorrow. Thanks for coming by, but I think . . . I think I’d like you to go now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

            “Niki I didn’t want to be right, I . . .” She began, but you wouldn’t let her continue.

            “Really Becky. Goodnight.” You say quickly. She frowns not certain she should leave you alone she could see in your eyes how hurt you were. She gave a nod and you opened the door. She started to walk out but paused.

            “I’m sorry honey, I really am.” She said softly. You give a nod as she leaves and you close the door locking it up tight. Turning you lean your back against it trying to shove down the flood of heartache and tears as you look up towards the ceiling trying to keep calm. You always knew this was a possibility, but you never wanted it to actually be true. You really thought he’d cared for you. Closing your eyes you cover your mouth with your hand and go back into your room slamming the door behind, throwing yourself down on the bed heartbroken.

            Back at Magnus’ place he sat on the edge of his bed naked the corner of a sheet draped over his lap, his elbows on his knees cradling his face in his hands. Fuck. He looked back at the naked woman lying behind him tangled in the sheets before shaking his head running his hand through his golden locks. He turned away rubbing his eyes before covering his face with his hands again.

            The woman stirred and sat up sleepily moving closer and kissing his shoulder, “Hey baby, something wrong?” She asked resting her hand on his waist moving it around to his abdomen then into his lap grasping his member and stroking it as she kissed his shoulder again obviously ready for some more. Instantly Magnus took her hand and shoved it away utterly revolted, her touch made his skin crawl. She frowned feeling insulted. “What the fuck, Magnus?” She demanded.

            “Leave.” He said instantly. “Get dressed and get the fuck out.”

            She just stared at him in complete and utter disbelief. “What??”

            “You heard me. This was a mistake. You are a mistake.” He roared. Snatching his jeans off of the floor he pulled them on. She scoffed looking at him in absolute disgust. “You better NOT be here by the time I get back. Get your slutty ass out of my bed and get the fuck out of my house NOW!” He stormed out of his room into the next slamming the door behind. She could hardly believe this and couldn’t be more agitated. Throwing the covers back she got up gathering her things.

            Magnus couldn’t believe this; he couldn’t believe what he’d done. He’d let himself fall prey to his old habits, and just completely let his dick do all the thinking. All it was was pure and carnal lust. Just fucking, plain and simple, that meant nothing. When he was with you it was something completely different. Something he didn’t fully understand something that was much deeper something that felt good more than physically. He didn’t just want to fuck you, although he would like nothing better than to fuck you all day every day in every way there was and maybe invent a few new ones if possible. But not just that. He also wanted to hold you close, to hug you, and kiss you, and caress you. To love every inch of you, to give you all the pleasure there was and more over and over again not just take what he could get for himself. That was rare for him, and new. Usually he did just enough so he could get what he wanted. With you, it was the first time he actually wanted to give more then he got. He couldn’t explain that it didn’t make sense. You were the only girl he didn’t make blow him. Never had he put his dick in your mouth. As violent as you were with each other, your teeth and jaw clamped down around his member was a harrowing thought. But to be honest he didn’t want to. It was 20x more fun and delectable to taste you. He’d rather taste your lips, devour your mouth, caress your tongue, over and over again. He’d rather be inside of you, fucking you hard and deep making your legs shiver and shake around him, looking into your eyes as he took you.

            What a mess, what a fucking idiot he’d been. Having been drinking a good amount, when that woman came onto him . . . old habits just sort of took over. A challenge had presented itself, an opportunity, and he’d never passed them up in the past. She was hot, there was no denying that. She had huge breasts, long legs, curves to die for, even though she had a face like the wrong end of a dog. Of course he wanted to fuck her. She was throwing it in his face practically begging to be banged into another dimension. But as soon as it was over, reality came flooding back. The smug pride and satisfaction of having added to his score wasn’t there. He had a girlfriend, a beautiful, special, lovely girlfriend that he cared about more then he realized possible. The game wasn’t the same as it used to be, because now he had you.

            True, the two you hadn’t had sex since you got out of the hospital. When he came over you would have dinner and curl up on the couch together and watch boring TV. When he did stay the night, you would just sleep wrapped tightly in one another’s embrace kissing and caressing and holding each other tight. He wanted to protect you and take care of you, and shield you from harm when you were in an injured and in a weakened state. As much as seeing your body, holding you close, and touching you drove him absolutely insane, he wasn’t going to be so boorish and brass or carless as to risk making it worse or do anything that might hinder your recovery. It took every ounce of strength and will power not to strip you naked, and make gentle love to you over and over again. He’d never felt that way with any other woman, never cared so much. Just the game of the hunt, the seduction, sex being the prize and then it was over and done with. He moved on to the next prey that caught his eye. He wouldn’t have bothered going to any other woman’s house knowing he wasn’t going to get something out of it, a good shag or something else. Just with you. It was weird and out of character for him, but when he was with you it was wonderful and pleasant. He didn’t have to be fucking you to be having fun, just being with you was pleasurable and felt good. He still didn’t fully understand that and couldn’t wrap his mind around it. But whatever this strange thing it was between the two of you, he didn’t want to screw it up or lose it.
            He closed his eyes shaking his head punching the wall. How could he be so stupid and weak? The only solace he could find, the smallest most meaningless bit, was that he had the wherewithal to use a condom with this whore. You and he tended to forget regularly to use one because you were so swept up in desperate passion you couldn’t stop long enough to put one on. And if he was truthful, it felt really good to cum inside of you. Like it was a privilege you allowed him, something that proved that you were all his and belonged to him. He’d kept you safe from whatever diseases that wench might have had. Not that it would matter, after this monumental fuck up . . . . if you found out about this you would want nothing to do with him. “Fuck, FUCK!!” he said punching the wall again so hard the drywall crumbled leaving a hole and busting the skin on his knuckles. He’d screwed up big time, and he knew it.
            Numbly, you sit at the desk. You'd ignored every call and every text from Magnus. You blamed him and yourself. You try not to think about it. Every time you do, you get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. You really couldn't get your mind to focus. And probably shouldn't be here.
            Wallander watches you for moment. "Rayne. Can I speak with you?"
            "Sure." You follow him into the conference room. He gestures to a chair. You sit down and watch as he does.
            "What happened?"
            "What do you mean?"
            "The day of the shooting."
            You shrug. You'd been answering questions about that for over a week now. It seemed like some high mucky muck was pulling you in to an interview. "I saw Chet. And I don't know. I didn't think. I guess maybe I wanted to bust him to make up for Dax."
            "So you did something monumentally stupid like he did."
            You sigh and rub the bridge of your nose. Your head was starting to hurt. "No. It was one of Wilkinson's cook houses that Dax got hurt in. One of his junkie thugs that put a good cop out of work."
            "Nikola. This job isn't about revenge."
            "I know that." You sigh once more and drop your hands into your lap. "I couldn't protect one partner. I didn't want it to happen again. To Magnus."
            "Because you two are an item."
            "How does everyone fucking know this?" You throw your hands in the air.
            "Detective. Remember?" He taps his head.
            "It doesn't matter because we're not. Anymore."
            "Does he know this?"
            "I've been avoiding him for a week. I should think so."
            "You should talk to him. I don't want things to be awkward."
            "Too late."
            Magnus walks by and makes eye contact with you. You look away. Curt makes a face then stands. "Nice hair." He walks out of the room. You'd gotten it cut after the first day back in the hat had been annoying.
            You stand but Magnus darts into the room and shuts the door. "I've missed you."
            "Really?"
            "Yes. You won't answer my calls or texts. You don't answer the door. You avoid me here at the station. What's going on?"
            You hug yourself. God you'd been a fool. "You should know." He takes a step to hug you but you take a step back. "If you want a hug, there's plenty of girls at the bar. Maybe that blonde will give you a real nice hug."
            Magnus looks down at his feet. "How'd you find out?"
            "Becky. She had a video of you two." He purses his lips, his nostrils flare. "How many others?"
            "What?"
            "How many others have you fucked while we were together?"
            "None. Just her. And it was a mistake. I knew it as soon as it was over."
            "You're right. It is over. This was a mistake."
            "Niki. You're twisting my words. I didn't mean you. Or us. I meant her."
            "And I meant what I said." The tears threatened to come but you swallow them down hard. He tries to grab your wrist but you jerk away. "No." You hold up a hand. "No. I gave you chances to let it just be fucking. But you let me think I was different."
            "You are. Niki, she was a mistake. A mistake I won't make again."
            You shake your head. "I actually started to care about you. Maybe even love you." Your chest hitches. "I'm putting in a transfer to another precinct. I think it would be best if we weren't around each other anymore." And you really didn't want to see Becky either.
            You open the door to the conference room and make a beeline for your desk. You're going through the motions as you grab your purse and turn off the light. "Curt, I've got a headache. I'm going home."
            "Be safe." You don't look back as you walk out. You don't see Magnus sitting at the conference table with his head in his hands. You don't see Becky look up from her desk at you then at the conference room.
            You have a six pack chilling in the fridge. And it was time for a little cleaning therapy.
            It must have been almost 2am as you sit in front of your computer in your spare room, clicking through e-mails and finishing reports to turn in tomorrow. God how you hated desk work. Field work was so much better. You could proactively do something more than type on a keyboard at a computer screen all day. You’d finished the six pack since you got home and had just opened your second bottle of wine. You sigh leaning back in your chair and taking a sip of Merlot scrolling through to the next screen.

            Your mind started to wonder from what you should have been doing as it had been for the past week. Why was this hitting you so damn hard? You knew what he was before you let yourself start feeling something for him, why in the hell did you think he was suddenly going to just change for you? You couldn’t decide if that was being naive or just stupid. Closing your eyes you take a large drink from your wine glass, then just drain it the rest of the way. Reaching over you picked up the bottle and filled your glass again setting it down taking a sip.

            “I thought you were going to ease up on drinking so much.” You hear a voice say behind you. Closing your eyes you sigh shaking your head.

            “I’m pretty sure you know what the term ‘breaking and entering’ means.”

            “Would apply if I didn’t actually have a key.” Putting down your glass you stand turning and walking to him holding out your hand wanting the key to your flat back. “Niki, please. I tried the knocking bit but you just ignore it and won’t open the door.”

            “Because if I did that, I’d actually have to see you. Give me my damn key.” You demand holding out your hand. He looks at you a moment before taking it from his pocket. You reach up to snatch it away but he moves it from your reach before you can grab it.

            “Only if you talk to me.” He says seriously looking in your eyes, “Then I promise I’ll give it back to you.”

            “Why? So you can just lie to me some more?”

            Magnus knew that this wasn’t going to be pleasant, “I won’t lie to you. I swear.” He promises. Taking a breath you cross your arms bracing yourself for whatever bull he had practiced to spew at you. Finally he was getting the opportunity he’d sought to talk to you and suddenly he didn’t know what to say. But he just promised that he wouldn’t lie to you and he didn’t want to. “I picked that woman up in the bar, took her back to my flat, and fucked the shit out of her.” He said plainly.

            You didn’t know what you were expecting but you weren’t quite expecting such blunt honesty. “So I heard.” You say turning and walking away but he quickly followed after you.

            “No, you don’t understand.” He reached out catching your arm stopping you. Immediately you jerked it away facing him prepared to defend yourself if he touched you again. Magnus instantly held his hands up in surrender knowing this wasn’t a moment to get into a physical fight with you. He took a breath searching for how to explain what he meant, “I used to do it a lot. I saw some woman I thought was attractive, I’d pick her up, take her home, have whatever fun there was to be had and then I was done with her moving on to the next one. No regret, no remorse, no guilt for anything I did. It was a game, it was all just a game.”

            “And lucky me, I was dumb enough to make myself a pawn in your hobby.” You snap.

            “That’s just it, you’re not. You never were. Of course I thought you were beautiful, extremely attractive and completely sexy from the first day you walked into the precinct fresh out of the academy, but I never wanted to use you.” You swallow a lump in your throat listening to him letting him speak. “I went through the others in the group that came the same day you did pretty quickly. Jennifer, Amanda, Emily, Christen, Anne, Jessica . . . .”

            “Jessica?” You say stopping him. “She was only there two days because there was a mistake on her paperwork and she belonged at another precinct.” He cleared his throat slightly shoving his hands in his pockets looking away. “Oh for Christ’s sake.”

            “Like I said, it was a game. I tried with Becky but she turned me away. I never even bothered to find out why, I honestly didn’t care. I didn’t find out until after you and I became partners she was married with kids.” He explained.

            This was more than you ever wanted to know to be honest. You sigh and close your eyes knowing that once you heard it, you couldn’t unhear it and this knowledge about his past was never going to go away. “Is this confessional going somewhere? Because I’m not a priest.” Magnus sighed realizing he still wasn’t getting his point across.

            “I stayed away from you all those months because for some reason I didn’t want you that way. I didn’t want you treat you with such carelessness. Knowing myself, the way I was, I didn’t want you to fall prey to my behavior. But you were always there. I didn’t approach you until I saw you were having trouble. You were struggling. I wanted to help but I didn’t know how. The only opportunity I had was when you were missing your targets on the range. I gave you the help I could and then I walked away. Fast. Because actually speaking to you, touching you . . . I wanted you even more than before.” He was talking faster now, as he had so much to say and didn’t know how much time you were going to give him or how long you were going to listen for.

            You shake your head taking a breath, “Magnus . . .”

            “I care about you Niki.” He says outright. “I actually care about you. You have no idea what a rare occurrence that is.” He steps closer to you looking down into your eyes, “It’s different with you then it is with other women. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it. I went from having 3 or 4 lovers at a time to just wanting to be with you.”

            You clinch your jaw feeling that tightness in your chest that had been there every since Becky showed you that video. You saw him, he wanted that woman. The way he touched her, the way he kissed her, the way his hands held her, “But that’s a lie.” You whisper hardly able to push the words out, feeling your heart twisting. You wanted to believe him, but how could you? You didn’t want to be one of those women who just accepted that their boyfriends or husbands screwed around on them and turn a blind eye to it. “I saw you, with her. . . . . you weren’t thinking about me at all.” Your eyes were welling up with tears and it was starting to make you angry. You didn’t like this feeling, you were hurting and you hated feeling vulnerable like this.

            Shaking your head you start to step back away from him, his eyes went wide realizing you were pulling even further away then you were before he came to see you tonight. In a knee-jerk reaction he reached out catching you by the shoulders pulling you back to him. The anger that had been growing inside you exploded and you slammed your hands hard against his chest. Yet didn’t release you, causing you to smack his chest again, and then began to hit him with your fists. When you felt tears escape your eyes and fall down your cheeks you screamed in utter fury “BASTARD!!!”
            He let you hit him, blocking the most severe blows before finally catching your wrists and squeezing them tight. You struggle still trying to strike at him but the cold hard fact of it was, you were exhausted from not being able to sleep, you were intoxicated from having been drinking like a fish for the past 7 hours, and he was flat out stronger then you. You strike at him then pull away then strike at him again your movements slowing and becoming pathetic. You break down into tears and sunk to the floor. Magnus released your wrists wrapping his arm around your waist and sinking to the floor with you.

            “I’m sorry.” He whispered wrapping his other arm around you holding you tight, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You were such a strong woman, you swallowed tears, you powered through your pain, you were successful in hiding the cracks in your armor, and you had allowed him to see your vulnerability. You let him in, and he betrayed you. It was hard to see what he had reduced you to. “I’m sorry.” He said stroking your head holding you tighter. “I’m sorry.”

            Your face buried in his shoulder you grit your teeth smacking his arm again, balling up your fist and hitting it against him but there was no power left in your strikes. Your hand just bounces off him with no affect whatsoever. His hand rests to the back of your neck as he just cradles you against his body. Out of the corner of his eye he catches sight of the scar on your head where you’d had surgery. Where they had repaired the crack in your skull. He closes his eyes holding you tighter.

            “I know you care for me too.” He whispers softly in your ear, “Otherwise you wouldn’t have risked your life for me by leaving me behind to run into that warehouse.” He reminds you.

            “Because I didn’t want to lose another partner. I didn’t want a repeat of what happened to Dax.” You say quickly leaning back wiping your face with your hand trying to stop the blasted tears you couldn’t seem to control. “I didn’t want that to happen to . . .” You stopped right there unwilling to say it out loud. Unwilling to admit it. Especially not to him.

            Magnus touches your chin raising your face to him, but keeping his other arm firmly around your waist so you couldn’t pull away any further. “And. . . if you didn’t care for me, my screwing around wouldn’t have hurt you like this.” He says softly.

            You take several deep breaths shaking your head. He was looking through you again, reading you like an open book and you hated it. “Damnit Magnus!” You say pushing your hands against his chest again. “If you want to hurt me then hit me! Twist my arms, smack me around, fuck me raw until I’m screaming for mercy!” You cry feeling more tears escaping against your wishes. But your movements slow and your arms go weak as your fingers clutch to his jacket. “But don’t do this. Please . . . please don’t hurt me like this . . .” You beg not wanting your heart to hurt like this anymore. You wanted to hate him, you wanted to wish him dead, but you couldn’t. You did care about him. Stupidly, you actually cared.
            You weren't the only one crying. Hot, fat tears slide down Magnus's cheeks. Stupid. He was a stupid, stupid man. He sinks siren to his knees, pressing his face into your stomach. "I'm so sorry, Niki. So sorry. Please forgive me."
            Your hands curl into fists and tremble in the air. You want to beat him about the head but you know it won't solve anything. Besides, you've exhausted yourself so you let them drop to his shoulders. "I hate you so much."
            "I know." His arms wrap around your waist. "Please, Nikola. I know I don't deserve a second chance but I can prove myself to you."
            "I don't know, Magnus. I can't-"
            "I've never felt about another woman, the way I feel about you." He looks up at you with sorrowful, broken eyes. "Don't transfer. Stay with me. Give me a second chance. I promise I won't hurt you like this again. Ever."
            You look at the ceiling, fighting to stop the tears. "Don't promise me that."
            "I do." He pulls you down, touching your face, nearly healed from the beating. His fingertips move into your hair almost reverently. "I've missed you so much. It hurts."
            "Magnus. Stop."
            "No. I lay awake at night and think about you and how much I've fucked this up." His eyes rapidly search your face. He grabs the back of your hair and kisses you desperately. He tastes the bittersweet taste of the merlot over the acidic beer on your tongue. You stiffen at first but god, you've missed him. And this is bliss but it hurts so very much. You push him away, catching your breath.
            "I need to think. And you need to go. Because I can't think when you're here." You sit with your back against couch, drawing up your knees. "Lock the door on your way out." He looks at you for a moment then stands, running his fingers through his noodly hair. You don't look at him. You can't. Everything just hurts. You hear the door shut behind him.
            The following day, you call in sick not really wanting to go in feeling completely confused, and tired . . . and to be honest a bit hung over. You didn’t think you could deal with seeing Magnus today. Magnus had gone into work early hoping to see you and see how you were feeling about him after you had a little time to think. He was disappointed to find that you weren’t there and wouldn’t be coming in.

            There was a department meeting around 10am and the detectives and officers sat listening to the rundown of current events, assignments, open investigations that were priority, and anything else that was on the docket. Magnus sat near the back his arms crossed only half listening as his mind wondered over what he had said to you last night. Could he have said it differently? Was there anything he should have said that he didn’t say? Could he have done something more to make the situation better? Most importantly, was there any hope that you’d give him a second chance?

            “Wilson, you’re with Martinsson on this.” The Chief said jerking Magnus right out of his daze.

            “Wait, what?” He said in disbelief.

            “Your partner is still recovering from her injuries. Even though she’s been cleared to return to work we do have to make certain allowances for that. So today, you and Officer Wilson will be working together until Officer Rayne comes back.” Becky and Magnus looked at each other hearing this. They’d been shooting death glares at each other and avoiding being in each other’s company longer then absolutely necessary. To be paired up to work together was beyond a horrid nightmare. “Alright everyone, get to work.” The meeting was dismissed and Magnus gave Becky a dark look, before standing and leaving the conference room to go to his desk. It was going to take every ounce of strength he had not to shoot the gossiping bitch.
            Magnus and Becky barely say two words to each other. "Verifying eyewitness reports on an assault and battery."
            He takes a pen and begins making notes. The two of them had moved into the conference room, sitting on opposite ends on the table. They kept shooting each other death glares.
            Becky finally slams the pen down. "How could you? How could you do that to Niki?"
            "I could say the same thing to you."
            "I wasn't the one snogging some trashy blonde!"
            "No, you were just fucking recording it. You could have stopped me. But no, you didn't. You recorded it then ran right over to show Niki."
            "Because she needed to know."
            "Why does everyone think they need to know our fucking business? I care about Niki. Yes, I fucked up. I fucked up big time. And if I'm lucky, she'll give me another chance. But we don't stand a chance if you and the other fucking gossips around don't stop bumping your fucking gums about us!"
            "You cheated on her!"
            "It was a mistake! You've never made a mistake before?! I'm trying to change and it seems like everyone in this fucking precinct is doing their damnedest to prevent that."
            "You're blaming us now?!"
            "Yes! I'm trying to be a better man! For Nikola! Because she makes me want to be a better man!" Becky startles.
            The door opens. "Everything ok in here?"
            "Fine." He grabs his jacket off the chair and pushes the officer aside. Becky drops down into the chair. Shit.
(Continued -->)
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I'm Your Shield