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The Bargaining Chip	By : ihatethesnow Category: S through Z > The Walking Dead Views: 3919 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead or any characters. I will not be making any money from this story.

Chapter List
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After they were all settled in their respective rooms, there was a knock at the door, Rick answered it to meet a short woman with shoulder length brown hair. She introduced herself as Deanna Monroe, and she's the leader of The Hilltop.
She said she was a senator from Ohio, and after everything happened she and her family ended up here. What was supposed to be an enclave of luxury apartments with a picture perfect view turned into an oasis in a desert of death. The house was remodeled for the elite of society, so they can live in safety. Now it belongs to regular people, who will do anything to keep each other safe.
Lori asked "why us? Why did you take us in?"
Deanna responded "I see community here. A future. You have six small children, and we need to stick together to ride this thing out. I've heard you had two of your own but opened your heart to four children who are not biologically yours. We need people like that.
"You'll be asked to contribute, of course, to keep this place running. You'll all have jobs. We need help with tending to the crops and animals to security. They built the walkway around the inside of the wall, and everyone who can shoot will be asked to stand guard. Three people walk around the neighborhood twenty-four seven. We have more people than ever, and, luckily, more animals and crops than ever. We need to keep our people safe."
Hours later Deanna showed up again with a casserole for dinner, as a welcome present. She sat and ate with the large family, discussing how they got to where they are. Lori said they were separated from their group in Atlanta, and made the decision to head to the Nation's capital, looking for a cure. She didn't want to elaborate. Rick noticed that she emotionally shut down.
"Well, I'm happy you're here. We have more doctors now. More people, too. Welcome home! Tomorrow we'll meet the rest of the residents. Get your rest." Deanna said, before leaving for the night.
The small apartment had three small bedrooms, only one bathroom, and a kitchenette. After a long few weeks, everyone was happy to take hot showers and dress in clean clothes Deanna brought over. Mika and Judith shared a room, and, although it was crowded, Carl, Luke, Bobby and Alex shared a one as well.
Lori slid into bed. The first time she was in a real bed since Hershel's farm, almost a year ago. If anyone went by a calendar anymore.
Rick double checked the lock, checked on the already asleep children, then left the door to the master bedroom ajar. He stripped down to his boxers and slid into the queen sized bed, right next to his wife.
"God, it feels good to be in a real bed." He whispered.
"Mmmm." Lori said in agreement.
The husband and wife lay together, face to face, feeling each other's warmth.
His hands were warm against her skin. She wanted to be normal again. She wanted to do the most natural thing in the world…make love to her husband. She wanted to let herself feel it, enjoy the sensations, but that would force her to open the door that led to all emotions, including dread, pain and reliving the nightmare. She didn't think she was strong enough to do that. Misreading her signal, his tongue pushing its way between her lips to conquer her mouth, and she stopped. He pulled back, sensing her tense, hearing the gasp as she caught her breath. She was staring at a spot on the ceiling, willing herself to pull him closer.
Rick stopped, but she wanted him to continue. He knew she wouldn't welcome his touch, not yet, not until she could set aside those ghosts that haunted her and want it for herself. Until then, he had to be patient, he had to simply love her and allow her to find out for herself that she could love him. He loved her. She knew that. For almost twenty years and counting.
Her lips were cool against his. She gave a little whimper and leaned closer, intensifying the kiss she had started. He let her set the pace, to do what she wanted. When her teeth parted and her tongue slipped out, he allowed her entrance to his mouth. When her hands pressed against his chest, he eased backwards. Her comfort and emotional stability was always on his mind. He was truly, madly and deeply in love with her, and didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. She was in charge.
"I want to. God knows I want this." She said, her voice cracking just a whisper.
"I love you, Lori. You're so beautiful," his deep voice was even huskier than normal, breaking into her thoughts before she could get lost in the darkness she tried to avoid. He had felt the tremble, sensed her anxiety, and tried to stop it off before it could start. He had no plan or intent on making her feel pain due to his touch. "So strong. You're so strong, and so brave. And you're gonna beat this. I know it."
When he looked into her eyes and saw apprehension, a knot formed in his stomach. He guided her hands, his hands warm against her skin, as he pulled them her closer. She didn't want him to let go of her hands, keeping them there to give him unspoken permission to do what he wanted, assuring her with his touch that he'd stop it if she felt uncomfortable.
She laid on her back, and slowly pulled her legs apart. When he kissed her, it was incredibly breathtaking. She felt a wave of serenity and was trusting him, in this most intimate of moments, in this sharing of souls, in this joining of two bodies.
Rick sensed that she was pulling away even before he broke their kiss. Her lips remained parted and wet, her eyes closed, savoring the memory of those sensations just a moment longer before she opened her eyes again. He was staring at her, with a look of craving and want and admiration that took her made her heart leap.
She was ready, he knew it. She had to be, staring at him with eyes full of lust and desire. He heard her struggle for breath, felt her tremble, but didn't stop to contemplate those signals. He didn't stop, eager to claim his wife again.
She knew what was going to happen next. All the gentle kissing, all the timid exploration of each other's bodies, all of it always led up to this one act. This one hurtful, degrading, one-sided act. She thought she was ready. She thought she could do this, could open to him, and allow him to use her body as those other men had, but she was wrong. As ever, as soon as he loomed over her, as soon as he lined up his member to her opening, all desire escaped. When she closed her eyes, she wasn't lying in a soft bed with her husband, she was on the cold, concrete floor, her back bloody and bruised with men laughing at her humiliation.
He felt her shiver. Yet it wasn't until he penetrated her and felt her muscles clench him too tightly, that he realized she wasn't ready. He stopped, finally, holding himself perfectly still, as he listened to her mumbled pleas. He pressed his forehead to hers, his eyes closed, unwilling to look and see the pain he knew he'd find. He had hurt her, the one thing he knew he never wanted to do. And she lay beneath him, her half-spoken, half-sobbed words begging him to continue, just do it, she wanted to do this, despite the pain, only please don't pull away, don't give up on her, please…don't leave me.
Lori flinched as he pulled out, trying to hold in a sob. She eventually looked at him, her eyes teaming with tears, hating herself and her body, and expecting the same emotions from him. What she found in his eyes and on his face was love, understanding, sympathy, and patience. She rolled to her side, not ready to face his empathy. She grabbed the sheets and covered her naked body, despite the minimal lighting in the room.
She felt broken and betrayed by her body. She wanted this, wanted him, but he was right—she couldn't force it to happen. She had to be patient, give her body time to get used to the idea that Rick was her husband. In good times and in bad. Not once had he ever physically hurt her. He loved her, and stopped even when she didn't have to ask him too. She still felt pain. She trusted him. Twenty wonderful years together. Almost twenty years of marriage.
He move up behind her to drape his arm around her. Rick heard her strangled sob, and then noticed she was violently trembling with fear. He held her head in his hands and kissed her several times.
Her scars were prominent. He couldn't take his eyes away from the marks his wife will forever bear. "You survived." He whispered. "You'll be fine. Take as much time as you need. I'll wait."
She turned around to face him and he wrapped her in his arms.
"You're alright." He whispered. "You're gonna be okay."
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The Bargaining Chip