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You Can't Fight a Tidal Wave	By : madradena Category: Star Trek > The Next Generation Views: 1693 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own ST:TNG nor Dreamland, nor the characters from either. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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"What makes you be so apprehensive of Commander Riker?" Deanna asked Emma after listening to her story about how she made peace with him.
Emma frowned leaning forward and clasping her hands together "I don't think it's a good idea to answer this question to YOU, I guess." she grimaced.
"Because you are convinced that Commander Riker and I are a couple and that I might be jealous." Deanna concluded Emma's thread of thought.
Emma shrugged "I know that you keep it a secret. But yeah, basically, yes."
"Emma, this is YOUR therapeutic session. Forget about how I would feel about what you need to tell me, and just tell me how you actually feel."
Emma shrugged again and gazed away uncomfortably "Fine, it's just... I really hate it, how he looks at me at times. I hate it even more, when he tries to touch me."
"Touch you where?" Deanna asked on a neutral tone.
Emma chuckled almost wickedly "You see, you ARE jealous!"
"Do I have a reason to? Have you happened to have sex with Commander Riker?" the betazoid counsellor asked without missing a beat on a slightly mocking tone.
"No! Of course not!" Emma almost shouted in response. She then rolled her eyes giving in "Alright. He just touched my arm. It was a friendly gesture, nothing more."
"It seems to have an added meaning in your head though."
"I hate it when people think they can go around and touch other people whenever they like." Emma pouted looking away.
"Some people like to touch other people. For example, Commander La Forge and Commander Riker is that kind of people." she then reached out and touched her hand gently "And me too." she smiled kindly.
Emma looked at her seemingly all tensed up at the touch then relaxed, but it rather seemed to be a conscious effort than the soothing effect of the touch. Deanna felt her awkwardness and let her go. Emma answered a little embarrassed "Well, I'm not really comfortable with that."
"Why is Commander Data an exception to your apprehension of people touching you?" Deanna asked to push her a little into the direction she could sense Emma wanted to go more than anything, but out of timidity that Deanna could sense to be radiating from Emma, she kept beating around the bush. And they were running out of time.
Emma looked at her surprised then shrugged again "I guess because he seems to be just as uncomfortable in this matter as I am." she smiled gently gazing away "He is always a little shocked when somebody touches him."
"And if YOU touch him?"
She seemed to consider this for a moment then smiled "No. With me he is comfortable. It's because of the play I suppose. We need to dance together so much, pressed so close to each other... We both learned to be used to the touch of the other... It's now almost second nature..."
"And yet you feel now terribly unsure."
Emma looked daggers at her "I almost forgot I was talking to an empath, thanks for the reminder."
"You are very welcome, Emma. However I still think that instead of commenting on my therapeutic methods, you would rather benefit from considering what I am telling you." her voice was not reprimanding, but she wanted to hold up a mirror to her sarcasm, so she could see how that looks in the eyes of others.
"What do you want me to tell you?!" Emma asked now openly upset "He kissed me today! And I wanted it! I wanted it so much, I can barely put it into words!" she suddenly became completely out of breath "I have no idea what is happening to me, when I'm near him! I just lose my wits and become a stupid teenage girl with the biggest crush in her stupid little life! And it's all wrong! All of it, Counsellor! I'm still married. He is having doubts too, and he... he would deserve a girl who doesn't have the baggage that I drag around with me everywhere I go... Somebody who wouldn't get scared, if he makes her feel that he really wants her..." her eyes filled with tears as she went on on a thin voice "I want to be strong for him, because he needs that so much. Needs somebody to tell him how great a guy he is... But... What if he realizes how messed up I am?"
Deanna let her wipe her eyes and waited for her to calm down a little - she herself needed a moment too, to recover from sensing Emma's all-consuming fear. After a moment, Emma tried to smile which rather became a grimace "Okay, I stop this stupidity now. There's no point in it, is there?" she groaned on a low voice.
Deanna looked at her for a moment longer then started to talk to her on her calm, soothing voice "To find an outlet for your emotions is never in vain, Emma. I think we have not moved away from your original issue: control. Commander Riker makes you feel that you are hunted down, when he touches you, and it scares you to death, whereas when you're the hunter, you have no problem with touching people. And I don't only mean Data. I mean Lieutenant Barclay as well. Then again, as Data is expressing his attraction to you either in words or in deeds, you get scared because he has the control."
"With him it's different, Counsellor!" Emma cut in "Most of the time, I even crave after his touch. I... I trust him, I think... I could give that control over to him... But this kiss..." she shook her head "I thought that when we would finally kiss, it would wipe all my doubts away. And when we were kissing, it did! But after it... I never thought it would make me doubt myself more than ever."
"Have you ever considered talking about your doubts to him?" Emma looked at her as if she suddenly grew an additional head, but Deanna went on "You say you trust him. Trust involves exposing our weaknesses to our partner. To let him reassure you the way you reassure him. To give him an opportunity to tell you that you are a 'great girl', just as you tell him that he is a 'great guy' worthy of your love."
"Love..." Emma repeated the last word silently.
Geordi and Data were walking silently on the corridor to go home. Finally, Data decided to bring up the one subject that was on his mind for a few hours now.
"Geordi, could you tell me... what it is like to be in love?" he asked silently.
Geordi stopped surprised and looked at him with an amazed smile "So the gossips are true! You do have a girlfriend!"
Data looked at him slightly embarrassed "I do not know who told you that piece of gossip, however it is not entirely true."
"Not entirely? Just how true is it then?" Geordi asked and was not able to wipe the grin off his face.
They started to walk again as Data tried to answer as precisely as he could "She and I... we share a certain infatuation." he looked at Geordi again "A crush. And I wonder what is love like compared to the crush we currently feel."
"Well, Data... I suppose you are asking the wrong person about this. I'm not the most experienced in the matters of the heart." Geordi shrugged apologetically.
"But you have been in love before in your life." Data told him looking into his eyes.
They stopped at the turbolift door and waited for it to open.
"Sure. Many times, in fact." Geordi shrugged again "Well, it's a feeling deeper than a crush. Though I always thought that a crush is a very good basis for real love to follow. But it's a feeling that makes you think of her ALL the time. Makes you want to be with her. But not just right now, at the moment. It makes you see yourselves in the future together. Makes you plan a life with her. It makes you want to share your life with her, all your experiences - well if not all, then most at least." he chuckled "Well, it normally makes you want to have children with her, but I suppose that is not much of a help for you." he winced apologetically again.
"I may adopt, or I may try to create a child again, if there is a technological breakthrough in cybernetics, Geordi. Having a child is not out of my grasp at all." Data told him with a slight smile as the doors opened, and they stepped in.
"Deck Two." Data called.
"Deck Five." Geordi's orders followed. "You know, you're right."
A moment of silence passed between them, when only the monotonous sound of the turbolift could be heard. Then Data looked at his friend again:
"And what do you do if... if you hurt her? Accidentally or... because you were not considerate enough of her feelings." he seemed to be ashamed.
Geordi smiled at this and put a hand on his friend's shoulder: "So this is why you came for me today? You needed advice?"
Data frowned a little confused "I need your advice. But I did not want to reconcile with you solely because of that need, Geordi. Though it was a factor in my intent. Is that selfish?" he suddenly asked reluctantly as he realized he might actually have been selfish.
Geordi laughed at this and patted him on the back: "Oh, I missed you, Data!" he shook his head still grinning "I don't mind that you wanted to reconcile out of selfishness now that we did. I'm glad you still consider me a friend whom you can trust enough to ask these questions." he took his hand away and looked into the android's still a bit confused eyes. "Look. If you have hurt her, try to apologize."
"I tried. It was thoroughly inconclusive. She told me, she was not sure... if she could forgive." at least this was what Emma's words seemed to mean.
"Well, without knowing what you did, it's hard to give advice." Geordi said, but then as Data just looked at him without a word, he realized there was no point to push his single-minded friend about it. He rather went on "Then try to make it up for her. Try to explain yourself as much as you can, and let her know that you care about her. And that you would wait for her until she can forgive you. I guess... You see, I'm not very good at this really." Geordi shrugged.
Data smiled encouragingly "I suppose you are better at it than I am. You might be better at it than you realize you are."
The lift stopped, and the door opened on Deck 5.
"Well, here's my stop." Geordi declared then smiled at his friend again "If you'd like to talk some more, you can come over. You could tell me more about this girl of yours. You got me curious now."
"Thank you, Geordi, but I think I will try your suggestion and try to explain myself to her."
"Fine." Geordi nodded then gave him a challenging smile "Am I gonna see you more often after this? Or even less, because you will be busy having a girlfriend."
Data took a moment to consider what he heard then laughed softly "I hope we will see each other as often as we used to, Geordi. Because I missed you too." he added. It was true, but it was confusing that he felt the emotion now, when they were finally together again.
Geordi grinned and patted his upper arm in response. "Night, my friend." he said as he stepped out of the lift.
"Good night, Geordi." Data said then as the doors closed, he called "Deck 8."
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You Can't Fight a Tidal Wave