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You Can't Fight a Tidal Wave	By : madradena Category: Star Trek > The Next Generation Views: 1693 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own ST:TNG nor Dreamland, nor the characters from either. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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After the session with Counsellor Troi, at home, Emma changed into an old sweater and a shabby pair of trousers that were the most comfortable clothes she had. She huddled up on her small couch, padd in hand and started to study. But yet again, she barely could pay attention to what she was reading. The more her thoughts wandered, the worse she felt about how they parted with Data. He probably felt bad about that stupid kiss on the stage, and now she regretted not reassuring him right away. If only she was not as confused as she was when they parted... But now her mind cleared up a little, and she became angry at herself for letting him feel so miserable! Who was she to judge him for his desires? What if he gets so depressed or confused that he turns himself off again? She put her padd down. She couldn't let that happen! She got up and left her quarters.
She went to his place, worry growing with every step she took. When she pressed the door chime, as twice before, no answer came. Her throat closed. "Please don't do this to me, Deadpan. I don't think I can handle finding you 'dead' again! Please open the door!" she pleaded. No use, silence was the only reply she received. She turned and pressed her back to his door frustrated then reached out with her hand and pressed the panel on the wall "Computer, locate Commander Data." she commanded, and felt her heart gripped by the coldest fear as she hoped beyond hope that the answer was a place on the ship and not that he was not on board. She knew now that she had got that answer, because he had been deactivated and not because the computer wasn't able to detect artificial lifeforms.
"Lieutenant Commander Data is on Deck 8."
She exhaled a long breath pressing her back to the door again, this time in relief as she felt a huge stone rolling off her heart. Then she frowned realizing that THAT was actually her deck. "Computer! Where exactly is he?"
"Lieutenant Commander Data is on corridor C, in front of room 2284."
Hearing the number of her own quarters, Emma smiled in wonder and felt she could have burst from happiness. She barely could keep her breathing calm as - not having her combadge on - she pressed the panel again: "Lieutenant Jones to Commander Data."
"Data here." she heard his comvoice and thought she could hear a hint of surprise in his otherwise neutral tone.
"Hi! Could you just stay where you are right now for me? Please?" she added a bit embarrassed and felt her cheeks burn with excitement.
After a brief moment of silence came his reply "Of course, Ms. Jones."
"Thanks." she closed the channel and literally sprinted to the closest turbolift.
In the lift, she tapped on the wall impatiently with her fingers "Come on, fly!" she muttered, and when the doors opened, she jumped out and ran in the corridors until she got to the last corner. There she stopped suddenly realizing how stupid she would look running up to him after parting with him the way she had done - or just running up at him as it is! she correcter herself.
She took a long breath and swallowed to calm herself down. She combed through her slightly dishevelled hair and adjusted her oversized sweater. Play it cool! she told herself as she stepped around the corner with as neutral an expression as she could muster with that warm buzz she felt.
But he smiled at her that timid, shy smile of his from afar, and she couldn't help but return it with the excitement of a high school girl seeing her date for her prom.
When she got to him, he told her on a reassuring voice "You need not have hurried. I would have waited for you as you requested any amount of time."
"I didn't hurry!" she blurted trying to sound nonchalant but actually just seemed embarrassed.
"You were running. Until the cor...ner..." that was the moment he realized that he probably shouldn't have pointed that out.
She gaped at him then couldn't help but chuckle "That's that for playing it cool, ha? I forgot about your awesome android senses."
He was not sure how to reply to her teasing, so he just looked at her with a serious expression and decided to get to the subject he wanted to talk to her about "Emma, I came to explain myself to you--"
"Wait-wait!" she smiled raising her eyebrows "Are you not coming in?"
"I... I was not sure whether I would be welcome in your home." he told her reluctantly.
At that point, she felt utterly horrible for making him so remorseful. She put her hand on his arm out of instinct, and he looked at her confused. "Oh, come on..." she whispered and pulled him in.
Inside, he looked around curious and was surprised to find that her quarters were almost as Spartan as his were.
"Yeah, not much decor." she winced embarrassed as she stepped to the couch "You see, when I left Epsilon Four, I didn't bring a lot of stuff."
This time he was willing to accept without any further empirical evidence that she actually could read his mind. When his surprise wore off, he tried to give her a coherent answer "You could always replicate whatever you wish to decorate your quarters with." he told her watching as she took her shoes off and put on a pair of pink, fluffy slippers.
She crossed to him as she explained "I know, I just... never have the time to figure out what I want. Besides, I spend almost no time in here. Except for sleeping." she chuckled embarrassed "And even that is not a very long time." she told him now looking up at him standing opposite him in the middle of the room.
He looked at her with that serious expression he had on in the corridor "I will not rob much of your recreational time, I promise."
She smiled at him almost pleadingly "Please, Data, stop trying to apologize. It's really not necessary. I was wro..."
But he cut in "But it is necessary, Emma! Please listen to me! I need to explain myself to you."
She had to let him talk. She knew she would have plenty of time to reassure him afterwards "Alright." she told him on a low voice "Would you like to sit down?"
"I would prefer standing face to face to you, thank you." he replied quickly.
She nodded "I'm listening."
"Thank you!" he told her and cocking his head to the side started to talk "I am not sure, if I will be able to put all of my emotions into words. However, I will attempt to tell you all that I am able to. When you cuddled up to me a few minutes before Commander Riker entered the holodeck, I felt that I did not want to think. Not even on one single processor thread! In that particular moment, I wanted to discard all cognitive functions in exchange to feel all the emotions that my emotion-chip generated. It was a unique moment for me. Before, I have always tried to fight between my emotional processes and my rational thought-processes. And most of the time, I relied on my rationality. This was the first time in my life that I was ready to give all control over to my emotions. To use an aphorism Doctor Crusher made me aware of: I listened to my heart. I suppose it is very difficult to empathize with what I am telling you, because for a human, this is a natural process." he paused for a moment to consider how to go on.
She chuckled gazing into his eyes lovingly "Fighting between our mind and our heart? It's a constant struggle. Don't think it's easier for us, humans, either." she told him on a tender voice.
"But there is more that I need to tell you, please let me finish." he asked her seemingly almost obsessed with getting to the bottom of it.
She chuckled again this time a little wryly "Forgive me. Please go on. I promise I won't interrupt."
"Thank you." he nodded not noticing that he was almost rude. Emma decided to let it go knowing it was not out of malice, and he went on "When I kissed you, it was an extraordinary moment, and with Commander Riker entering, it ended a lot sooner than my emotions wanted it to. When I kissed you on the stage, I believe it was my emotions wishing to elongate that short moment. I swear to you I did not intend to kiss you deeper than what the theatre would have required of us. But it happened. I was wrong in following my emotions in such an inconsiderate manner." he consciously raised his hands in defence "I know that it was wrong of me to do what I did. I know I embarrassed you, maybe even made you feel ashamed. And I apologize for that. I wish I could somehow undo it, however the unidirectional nature of the time-continuum does not allow me to do that. So all I can offer you that I would make it up for you. Any way you wish."
Emma stifled a chuckle putting a hand in front of her mouth at his remark about time. Then looked at him expectantly. For a long moment, they just studied each other's expression, then finally, Data went on:
"Was something I said amusing to you?" he asked reluctantly and a little hurt.
She took her hand away from her mouth and smiled wide-eyed: "Oh, you finished? May I react now?" she asked still seemingly very amused.
"Of course. Oh, I never meant that you..." he started, realizing that he must have again made a faux-pass without realizing it, but he couldn't finish.
Emma simply reached up, took his face into her hands and brought his lips down to hers. She gave him a quick close-mouthed kiss on the lips, and he was so shocked that he didn't even close his eyes. When he had attempted to calculate the possible outcome of this particular interaction, he hadn't even considered receiving a kiss in return for his 'explaining himself', the odds were so insignificant on this reaction that it was statistically irrelevant. After a short moment, she let his lips go and looked into his eyes still holding his face in her palms.
"Am I to infer that you..." he started on a low voice again not being able to resist gazing at her beautiful lips, but she interrupted him with another kiss.
This time it was longer, though still only their lips touched. This time, he closed his eyes feeling her soft body snuggling up to his own, and his arms slipped around her waist. She let him go again after a few moments and gazed into his eyes with a naughty smile.
"You are to infer that I want you to use those exquisite lips of yours for other than speaking." she purred seductively.
"As you wish..." he whispered and closed the distance to her lips again. Her arms clasped around his neck as he held her as close as he could without the possibility of suffocating her, and he kissed her breathtakingly deeply.
In a matter of minutes, they were feverishly kissing in her bed. Uniform top, shoes, socks, slippers left on the way from the living room to the bedroom in a trail of passion. They had no time to take more clothes off before dropping onto her bed. She clasped her legs around his waist as he lay above her. He looked at her for an instant taking in her beautiful smiling face. Her hair was spread around her head, on her pillow, even across her face, and he gently swept the stray strands away before lowering his lips onto hers again. Hunger, he vaguely thought, this must be what it feels like! But why does it grow with every kiss?! Why can it be not appeased?!
She opened her mouth welcoming his explorations and responded with the same enthusiasm. She took her hands away from his hair, slid them down his chest to his waistline and tried to find the fastenings of his trousers. He cupped her cheek tenderly with one hand and started to explore the curves of her body with the other. Before long, he found his way under her sweater and slid his hand up the smooth skin on her stomach and side just to find that as usual, she was not wearing a bra underneath. She moaned in pleasure as he cupped her nude breast in his palm, and he took his lips from her mouth just to start kissing her on the neck.
She half-opened her eyes and stared at her ceiling completely lost in his arms. She couldn't believe the emotions he awakened in her. That after long years of a bitter marriage, after long years of loneliness, here she was allowing herself to feel attraction and affection again, to completely give herself over to the feelings he made her feel for him. For him, who was barely more than a teenager in his emotions. But all the more for him, because he was so innocently incapable to do anything out of malice, he was true in all of his feelings, she never had to doubt his honesty or his good intentions... Her throat suddenly closed, and no matter how much she tried to stop herself, she started to weep silently. She hoped she would stop after a tear as she usually did, never letting herself to show too much weakness to anyone, not even to herself. But this time, she failed to swallow her tears, and they began to flow in earnest.
"...sorry..." she mumbled after a moment on a husky whisper snuggling to his ear "I'm so sorry..." And she meant it. And she meant it for everything! For ruining the moment with crying, for making him feel bad about what he had done on stage - for being a messed up loser who didn't have the strength to resist him anymore.
He raised his head knowing immediately from her voice, and the change in her body that something was wrong, and he was shocked to see that she was crying: "Emma..." he took his hand away from under her sweater and looked at her scared "Did I hurt you in some fashion?" he asked on a small voice.
"Oh..." she smiled through her tears and caressing his face and hair shook her head no.
He took her hand gently: "Do you wish me to leave?"
"No..." she moaned "I'm sorry... just give me a moment." she pulled him to her to hide her face in his shoulder, and he obeyed her unspoken wish and held her close. He rolled them to their side and started to gently stroke her long hair as she lay there cuddled up to him. Her breathing was ragged as she cried almost soundlessly. She held onto him by gripping the fabric of his under-shirt in her fist and felt him kiss her on the forehead comfortingly. As she once again lost herself in his soft caresses, her breathing slowly became even, and she calmed down.
He listened to her breathing and let his senses be filled with her presence just the way they did when they danced tango: the feel of her soft body in his arms, the fragrance of her silky hair, and the sound of her breathing slowing down to a soft snuffle. The grip on his under-shirt slowly loosened, and he knew she had fallen asleep. He raised his head slightly just enough to look at her face. She still head tear streaks on her cheeks, but her face was peaceful.
He considered what he should do next. He most definitely didn't want to wake her, she needed rest probably more than anything. However following this logic, he might become an obstacle for her having a peaceful rest, he concluded that maybe he should get up and leave. But she was cuddled up to him so close that he was worried, if he moved more than a little, she would wake up. So he decided to stay.
He started to study her face now that he had the time and opportunity. Her features were delicate, and her body had a graceful almost fragile quality like a china doll. She seemed at least ten years younger than her chronological age, though he knew she was over six years his senior. Not that his chronological age mattered much in this regard. She seemed so exhausted, and the tear-streaks on her cheeks made her seem wistful.
He wished he could understand why she started crying, but her reactions that evening were nothing but confusing. She seemed to forgive him right away, even though she had seemed upset on the holodeck almost irreconcilably so. And yet, she kissed him so lovingly, so passionately. Then all of a sudden, she broke down crying. I wish I could console you the way you try to console me when I am sad, he thought. Then struck by a sudden idea, he leaned above her close to her cheek to kiss her tears away gently, just as she did to him, when he was crying on the holodeck. It was a unique experience: her tears tasted very salty, still kissing them away was a very intimate sensation.
She stirred, and her eyes slowly fluttered open. He raised his head from her cheek and looked down into her eyes: "I am sorry I awoke you." he started on a low voice "I never meant to. Please continue your nap if you like. I leave, if you wish and let you rest."
She reached up for him and patted his arm as he held her close and lay there above her: "No..." she mumbled sleepily. Then sighed and tried to get a grip on consciousness that seemed to want to slip away blink by blink. She smiled jaded "What a romantic evening, right?" she muttered tiredly "Your date blubbers into your shirt then sacks out on you without a word of explanation. Don't deny it, this was all you ever dreamed about."
"I have to caution you that with you snuggled so close to me, my sexuality programming is active, therefore all of my other thought-processing including the comprehension of irony, sarcasm and humour might be considerably slower than you would expect." he told her ever-serious, and she chuckled stroking his cheek with her hand gently.
"Aah, your dirty talk always turns me on!" she chuckled again at his puzzled expression lovingly "It constantly baffles me that nobody discovered that you're such a sweetheart, Deadpan, and you're still single." she told him shaking her head in wonder then grinned "Are you sure you're not hiding a wife and a few mistresses in the closet?"
He cocked his head, but his expression remained as deadpan as ever "Please rest assured that apart from Spot, you are the only female in my life. I however was hoping that after kissing as passionately as we were and lying atop you in your bed right now, 'single' would not be a term applicable to my status."
She gazed into his eyes for a moment longer - her expression as serious now as his - then pushed him a little away to indicate that she wanted to sit up. He obeyed and sat up with his legs crossed, while she pulled her legs under her sliding close to him opposite him. She took his hands gently in hers and looked into his eyes:
"Is this really what you want, Data? You have no doubts anymore?" she asked on a soft voice.
He squeezed her hands, though he seemed a little lost "I have doubts, Emma. I still think I am not evolved enough for a relationship. I have not yet been able to fully analyse the reasoning you provided me today against these doubts. Although I have found it most intriguing. However, the prospect of not having you in my life is far more appalling than the possibility of a relationship which might involve problems. Problems might be solved. You might be able to tell me, how I am supposed to act. However without you... I feel lonely. And that is not resolvable." he told her seemingly getting to this conclusion only while speaking.
Emma dropped her gaze to their hands and stroked the back of his hands with her thumbs for a few moments. Then looked back into his eyes.
"I agree that problems might be solved, but... I cannot tell you how you are supposed to act, Data." she told him shaking her head "I have been living in a relationship where I was constantly told how I was supposed to act, how to speak, what to eat, how to dress, who to make friends with... I'm not gonna be anything like that, Data, you must not ask that of me." she told him on a silent but firm voice.
"But... you need to help me find my role in a relationship. Because I do not know how to find that role alone." he told her and seemed almost desperate for her to assent.
She gave him a small smile "I can help you in that to some extent. But I cannot prescribe to you what to do. I can tell you my needs, and I expect you can also tell me yours. And... I suppose we might agree that we will need to be honest with each other... if we really want to do this. In everything. Even if it hurts, or if it's uncomfortable. Because lets face it: the divorcing gal hooking up with the virtually teenager guy is not the starting point of a relationship standing much of a chance, Deadpan." she stroked his cheek tenderly to try to take out the edge of her words then took his hand again "Playing around the way your ex-girlfriend did will not fit into this, not even a tiny bit."
He considered her words for a moment then a serene smile appeared on his lips "I can accept your terms. Now I will state mine. Even if our relationship might not stand much statistical chance - although it is noteworthy that not much statistical information is available on relationships between organic and artificial lifeforms - however I would like you to consider our relationship to be something to hold on to. Something that is constant in our lives. From your words, I understand that you think that even the slightest misunderstanding might end it. I disagree. We have managed to reconcile much of our differences so far, and still we have a wish to be with each other. I do not believe that this would change even if we discover any more differences in our opinions or attitudes. I would like you to consider our relationship to be more enduring than you assess it now. Because I do."
Emma chuckled at his optimism and innocence and couldn't resist to take his face into her hands: "Because you are a teenager with the biggest pink cloud of romance around his mind." she told him lovingly then gave him a loud kiss on the lips and looked into his eyes with admiration "And you're amazing. I wish you knew just how much." she traced his moist lips with her thumb thoughtfully as he sat there with that shy expression of his she just adored. She then taking her hands away, smiled at him slowly "So. Are you my boyfriend now, Deadpan? Am I your girlfriend?" she asked trying the expressions out, tasting them in her mind.
She was surprised when he suddenly laughed a happy laugh, then in the next moment taking her off guard, crushed her in an embrace and kissing her on the lips lay her back on the bed. She let him kiss her as deeply as he wanted and held him close to her. But as his hands started to wander around on her body, she broke away and stopped his hand with her own: "Wait, baby." she breathed looking into his eyes.
He then gave her the most childlike innocent smile she had ever seen on anybody's face: "Baby... It is a term of endearment. I do not recall anybody to ever use one upon me."
She combed her fingers through his hair lovingly: "I wasn't really considering what I called you, but I tend to call people other than their christened names, so be prepared for more."
Data chuckled "I believe I have noticed that particular habit of yours. And I definitely like 'Baby' more than 'Deadpan'."
She giggled and looked at him naughtily "Oh, no, you won't get rid of 'Deadpan', Deadpan! No way!"
He cocked his head curiously "I would like to examine just how adamant you are about that standpoint." he told her and lowering his lips to her neck started planting small, tickling kisses there.
Emma shrieked and giggled at the sensation "No fair!" she laughed and felt his fingers brush against the skin on her stomach making her squirm under his featherlike touch. "No fair, Deadpan! Oh..." She giggled on and half-heartedly tried to push him away, but it was just so... "Oh, stop it you..." she pleaded in breath of pleasure, but before she could finish, he did stop. However instead of letting her go, he pressed his lips against hers and kissed her deeply. When he finally released her, she looked at him completely out of breath.
"I bet you are not ticklish!" she gasped frowning in mock-annoyance.
He shook his head "No, I am not."
She sighed to try to even her breathing and looked at him curiously "But you do feel it if I touch you, right?"
"Of course."
She gazed into his eyes thoughtfully "But you do not feel sensations the same way I feel them on my skin, right? You said you cannot feel pain for example."
"You really want to talk about my perception of tactile sensory inputs right at the moment?" he asked seemingly confused and maybe even a bit impatient.
"Do you have a better topic in mind?" she asked surprised.
For an answer, he bowed his head again to her neck and started kissing her again. This time going only for pleasury.
She chuckled and sighed feeling his lips travelling across her skin: "Android or not, you work the same way as all guys. Your mind is only on sex."
He raised his head and looked at her again "Do you not approve?"
She smiled and stroked his cheek "I approve of everything you want." she then raised a forefinger in front of his face, before he could bow down again to kiss her "But some of the things you want will have to wait."
He cocked his head curiously again "Does that mean you do not wish me to make love to you tonight?" he asked and somehow managed to be blunt and incredibly tender at the same time.
She sighed stroking his cheek again lovingly "I wish I could say let's just forget everything and just do whatever our bodies dictate. But... it's just so fast, Deadpan! I feel I'm dizzy by this speed. How long have we known each other? Three weeks?"
"Two weeks, five days and six hours."
She smiled at his precision and sliding her hand from his face to his shoulder, stroked him there gently "The last thing I expected when coming on this ship was that in two weeks' time, I will be in one bed with a guy, and that we will be talking about our future relationship... I barely know you." she admitted on a soft voice "And you know even less about me."
He took her hand from his shoulder and pressed it to his lips for a long moment. Then looked into her eyes and nodded "I understand." he told her on his usual silent voice.
The next moment, he rolled off of her and lay on his back. She was completely taken aback by the sudden change, and the next image that instinctively popped into her mind was him jumping out of the bed and leaving without a backward glance. Her heart sank as she lay there beside him. Could it be that he was disappointed by her turning him down? Well, we've agreed on full disclosure, haven't we? she asked herself, so she gingerly sat up and gazed down at him. He was lying there with his eyes closed - is he gonna just fall asleep?!
"Are you sulking now?" she asked on a slightly hurt voice.
He opened his eyes and looked at her: "Sulking?"
"Because I turned you down."
He seemed to consider this for a moment, then his lips curled upwards a little "I concur with your reasoning. Therefore, I decided to take my sexuality program offline, so I can pay attention to you without it constantly prompting me to ...get underneath your clothes. It is easier to take it offline, if I am not touching you." he explained.
She smiled relieved and wordlessly cuddled up to him burying her face in his chest and holding him by the waist tightly. Why was I doubting you? Am I so distrustful that I have to expect the worst even at a small gesture I don't understand?
He lay there completely baffled "Emma. I just explained to you that it is easier to take the program offline if..."
"Then just leave it on, baby." she mumbled into his shoulder.
So he did and pulled her to him gently. He started to stroke her back and did everything to resist the urge to push his hand under the fabric of her sweater or to slid it to her hips or her butt. It was really peculiar how strong the sensations were that she generated in him. When he first utilized his chip, he had a similar urge for bodily satisfaction as the one he was fighting now. At that time, most female humans awakened it in him, moreover, even being human was not always a prerequisite for his heightened desires to be triggered. But he managed to learn to control these urges. Now they came back with multiplied force - only this time, it was her alone who could trigger them. Perhaps this fact alone was a development, a step of evolution. He was not simply craving for sexual gratification, he was attracted to her and her alone. He turned his head to her and pressed his lips to her forehead. She squeezed her embrace around him for a moment in response.
They lay there in silence for a few minutes, and he went from stroking her back to stroking her hair. The feel of her soft hair under and between his fingers gave him a certain delicately pleasurable sensation, and as Emma seemed not to mind him doing it, he decided that he would engage in the activity often.
Before long, their previous interactions of that day came into his mind. He still wished to understand her completely baffling reactions. He considered asking her about them and hesitated knowing that she was upset, and even cried today which were feelings she probably did not wish to recall. But they agreed on being honest and she did state they barely knew each other. Which he had to agree on. Perhaps if he understood her reactions, next time, he would be able to avoid making her upset.
"Emma... baby..." he tried her term of endearment - and decided he liked it.
"Hmm?" her sleepy voice came muffled from where she rested her head on his chest.
"I need to ask you something."
"You know you may ask anything, you don't need to ask for permission..." she chuckled squeezing her embrace again a little.
"I would like to... to understand your reactions of today." he went on somewhat reluctantly. She didn't answer just nodded wordlessly and waited for him to ask whatever he wanted to know. "You seemed genuinely upset on the holodeck, then you forgave me even before I apologized. And then... you cried..." he added silently then shook his head "I do not mean to upset you again. I just wish I could understand you better."
She sighed as she felt her heart sinking. Exhaustion was creeping up on her as she was listening to his soothing voice and felt his chest slowly rise and fall as he breathed. She didn't feel like talking - especially not about the things he asked.
But he did have a right to understand her capriciousness, so she needed to answer. "I was never angry at you, Deadpan." she told him snuggling her face into his chest "I was just very confused. It scared me that you can have what you want from me, if you decide to take it. Because I would give it to you without a second thought. I was not prepared for that kiss on the stage at all."
"Yet you kissed me back."
"Yeah... Did I mention that I was confused?" she chuckled. She went on after a short pause "Counsellor Troi tells me, I have to try to share my doubts and worries with you, if I really trust you." she gave his body a gentle squeeze again as she took a deep breath to try to be as honest as she could "I'm scared, Data. I feel things... that I haven't felt for a very long time. My marriage... started in a similar way. I was head over heals in love. I gave him everything. Everything he asked for. And the years passed, every day was worse than the one before, but only by a margin you could barely feel. Then one morning, you wake up and you suddenly realize you don't know the person you live with - and you don't know yourself either anymore... After leaving him, I had to hide from him. Even Bev doesn't know much about this time. He was a high ranking official in the government. He had his means to find me... I lived with the Resistance who wanted to liberate the colony for almost two years. It wasn't less of a nightmare than my marriage before... I just wanted to get away and forget everything. And I'm here, letting you hold me. Letting you be so close... And you're..." she trailed off and buried her face into the fabric of his under-shirt. Her eyes became wet, but her tears didn't fall. This time, she was able to stop herself.
"Forgive me that I upset you." he told her on a shaken voice pulling her close. He studied his emotions in wonder: he felt her pain almost as if it was his. Empathy was always one thing he believed he would never completely master. And yet...
"No... It's not your fault." she told him on a muffled voice "I will need to tell you about all this. Because this is part of who I am. You have a right to know."
"You may tell me about it as much or as little as you wish. I will not invade your privacy again, I promise."
She shook her head, and her voice seemed calmer and firmer now: "It's not your fault. And you're not invading my privacy. You may ask me whatever you like. And I promise I will try to answer... If I can't, I will tell you that."
He nodded and stroked her hair again gently. They lay in each other's arms wordlessly. In a few minutes, he again heard her breathing slow and deepen, and he knew she fell asleep. He wished he could join her in her dreams too.
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You Can't Fight a Tidal Wave