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What Is and What Should Never Be	By : OpenPage Category: 1 through F > 21 Jump Street Views: 1336 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own 21JS or the characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. All characters and events in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is coincidental.

Chapter List
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After forty-one hours of travel, the train pulled into its final destination. It was eleven-thirty in the morning and the sun was shining brightly. Tom stared out of the train’s dirty window as Booker busied himself behind him, packing up their belongings. They still had an hour’s bus ride to endure before they arrived at the town Tom used to call home.
Feeling a light hand on his shoulder, Tom turned to face Booker. “Ready?” Dennis asked, keeping his voice neutral so Tom would not detect the nerves that he too felt, now that they were almost at the end of their journey.
“I guess,” Tom muttered, bending down to pick up his bag. He started to head for the door before stopping. “It’s gonna be okay isn’t it? I mean, we go to the house, get Doug and leave. He won’t be able to stop us right?”
On the long train journey, Booker had given their situation a lot of thought. It had finally occurred to him that they did not know for sure that Doug’s sentence was over. The six-month period was up but if Doug had misbehaved during his incarceration, a judge could order extra time in detention. Dennis had not wanted to worry Tom during the long, arduous train ride, but now that they were virtually on Aaron McQuaid’s doorstep, he felt Tom needed to be prepared.
“Sit down for a minute,” Booker instructed, keeping his voice light.
“Why?” Tom asked suspiciously as his eyes narrowed slightly. “What’s wrong?”
Booker rubbed a hand over his tired eyes. “I don’t want you to get upset okay, just listen to what I have to say.”
Tom took a seat and stared up at Dennis who remained standing. “You’re starting to freak me out,” he laughed nervously. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“It may be nothing,” Booker started, hoping to reassure Tom with his tone. “It’s just, we don’t know for certain that Doug’s been released yet. So I was thinking, is there anyone you trust that we could talk to, you know, to find out if they’ve heard anything.”
Tom felt as though a knife had stabbed him in the heart. He could not believe how stupid and naïve they had been. They had traveled across the country without bothering to verify that Doug had indeed, been released. He did not even know for sure that his father still lived in the same house. Given Aaron’s tendency to spend the rent money on alcohol, there was a high probability that the property owner had kicked him out long ago.
Tom’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh God,” he whispered, “I might never find Doug.”
Kneeling down in front of Tom, Booker took hold of his hands. “No baby, that’s not what I’m saying. The authorities will know where he is. I just think it would be better if we knew for sure that Doug was living with your Dad. No point in going there otherwise, huh?”
It took several minutes for Tom to digest Dennis’ words. It was true, there was no need for him to go and see his Dad if Doug was not even living there. He closed his eyes and thought hard about whom they could contact about his brother’s whereabouts. Slowly, a long forgotten name entered his mind. “There was this teacher, Mr. Fuller. If he’s still at the school I know I could trust him to help us out.”
Booker visibly relaxed. “There you go, problem solved,” he smiled. “C’mon, let’s get out and stretch our legs before we have to sit on a bus for an hour.”
Checking the tiny room one last time to make sure they had left nothing behind, the boys exited the train.
**
As their bus neared the McQuaids’ old neighborhood, Tom stared silently out of the window as the knot in his stomach tightened. He felt physically ill and hoped that he would be able to keep down the sandwich he had eaten. When they drove past the park where Tom had spent the night in the enclosed play tower, he felt tears prick at his eyes. He felt so sad for that scared, lonely boy. But so much had changed since that fateful night. He had Booker and the Hendersons in his life now and in a few short hours, he would hopefully also have Doug.
Their bus began to slow down as it approached Tom’s old school. Clenching his fists, Tom attempted to calm his jangling nerves. “This is it,” he muttered to Dennis.
Grabbing their bags, the boys exited the bus and stood on the pavement, staring at the large, gray building. Booker glanced at his watch and saw that it was past lunchtime and classes would have resumed. “What do you wanna do?” he asked. “We’ve a few hours to kill before school gets out.”
Now that he was standing in the place where his old life had ended, Tom felt an unexpected surge of strength course through his body and his fears quickly evaporated. His father had no hold over him, not now that he had people in his life who loved and cared about him. He knew that Henry and Louisa would fight in court if they had to, to keep him with them. There was nothing left to be afraid of and Aaron McQuaid was nothing to him anymore. He considered his father as dead as his dear mother was, buried deep underground, never to be in his life again. A slow smile spread across his face and he turned to face his lover. “We’re gonna go get Doug,” he replied, “And if he isn’t with my Dad, we won’t leave until he tells us where he is.”
Booker’s chest swelled with love and pride for his beautiful Tommy. Stepping forward, he cupped Tom’s face in his hands and pressed his lips against his lover’s. “I’m so proud of you baby,” he murmured softly.
A pink flush warmed Tom’s cheeks. “I couldn’t do any of his without you by my side. We’re a team, remember?”
Booker laughed. “Yeah we are. C’mon, let’s go find your brother.”
**
Standing at the bottom of the driveway, Tom stared at the rundown two-storey house that had been his home for less than two weeks. From the ages of nine to fifteen, he had lived in twelve different houses and none of them had ever felt like home. In contrast, he and Booker had only lived at the Henderson’s farm for three months and for Tom, it had felt like home from the first week they had arrived. Henry and Louisa had treated him as one of their own from the moment he set foot over their threshold. They had shown him love and support along with gentle discipline to help keep him on the right path. Aaron had contributed nothing to Tom’s welfare and upbringing except to instill fear and emotional scarring that would last a lifetime. For a moment Tom wondered how his life would be if he had not made the decision to run away six months ago. A cold shiver ran down his spine and he pushed the thought aside. It did not matter anymore, he was finally free of the abuse and that was all he cared about.
His nervousness had returned but he felt no fear. Turning to Booker, who had been silently watching him, he gave a wry smile. “C’mon, let’s get this over with so we can go home.”
Together they walked up the driveway. Standing at the front door, Tom nervously wiped his palms on his jeans and rang the doorbell. Beethoven’s 9^th chimed loudly, the choice of chimes seemingly inappropriate given the horrors that had occurred behind the thick, damp walls. Clenching and unclenching his fists, Tom could hear footsteps inside and an unidentified voice yelled out, “Hang on, I’m coming.”
The battered wooden door flew open and Doug stared out through the rusty screen door. “If you’re selling anything we’re not… Oh my God… Tommy!”
The door flew back on its hinges and Doug grabbed Tom in a bear-like hug, squeezing him hard. “I can’t believe it! I thought I’d never see you again! Oh my God Tom, you’re home!”
Struggling for breath, Tom motioned for Doug to let him go. With a lopsided smile, Doug obliged and stepping back, he looked Tom up and down. “Jeez Tommy, where the hell have you been? We’ve been worried sick about you, not knowing if you were dead or alive.”
Tom’s expression hardened. “We’ve been worried sick? You can’t mean that Dad gave a rat’s ass about where I’ve been except that he had no-one to molest whilst I was gone.”
Doug’s face paled. “Tommy it’s not like that now, he’s changed. He’s been freaking out. Honest, he’s been so worried about you and—“
“DON’T LIE TO ME!” Tom yelled. “The last thing he did to me before I left was RAPE ME! How can you defend him when you hate him as much as I do?”
Nervously looking over Tom’s shoulder to see if any neighbors were listening to their argument, Doug’s eyes met Dennis’ and he stared at him as his eyes narrowed, “Who the hell are you?”
Before Dennis could reply, Tom answered, “His name’s Dennis and he’s… he’s my boyfriend.”
Doug stared back open mouthed. His eyes traveled from Tom to Dennis and back again. “He’s your what?”
“Boyfriend,” Tom replied assertively. “I met him on the streets and we’ve been together ever since.”
Running his fingers through his hair, Doug struggled to think of something to say. He had dreamed of the day when his little brother would return home but so far, none of it was going the way he had imagined. Realizing that Tom was waiting for him to say something, he gave a half smile. “Well that’s great Tommy, um, maybe you and your… um, Dennis should come inside so we can talk.”
“Is he in there?” Tom asked, peering into the darkened house.
Shaking his head, Doug stood aside so the two younger boys could enter. Déjà vu hit Tom like a freight train and he shivered violently. He reached back and found Booker’s hand and he relaxed slightly when his lover gave his fingers a reassuring squeeze. They followed Doug into the dimly lit living room and sat down on the couch, their fingers firmly entwined. Doug stared at them, his expression somewhat disturbed. Tom sighed heavily. This was not turning into the reunion he had hoped for. “Does this bother you?” he asked bluntly, as he lifted up his and Booker’s hand.
“No Tommy,” Doug replied hurriedly, “It’s just… were you gay before you left?”
Tom became impatient. “For fuck’s sake Doug, I don’t want to talk about this now, I want to talk about us! I’ve come back because I want you to come and live with me and Dennis. We’ve got a great life now living with this elderly couple on a farm and they—“
The sound of the front door slamming stopped Tom mid sentence and fear filled his eyes. He turned towards the doorway, his expression full of horror as Aaron McQuaid walked into the room.
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What Is and What Should Never Be