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Survival Isn't An Option	By : Pilgrim Category: S through Z > The Walking Dead Views: 6774 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead or any of the characters from the series. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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          Isabelle stretched carefully, she knew the hand on her hip, it was a sensation she had awoken to for many years. The only difference was the electric light from the lantern that still sat on the shelves and the realisation that they weren’t in a company hotel room. The ring rested on the pillow beside her head and she carefully draped the chain over her head, letting the cold metal rest against her breast. Slowly her mind turned to Nathaniel again, how was she going to convince him that leaving the bunker was the only option. With how damaged his mind was she wondered if she even knew him at all any more. Pulling away she made her way to the hatch and eased the iron bar free. Slowly, to make no noise, she pushed against the metal hatch and peeked through. They were on the ground floor of a partially collapsed building, the bunker built into the foundations. From what she could see through the fallen walls it was a building in the middle of nowhere.
          A hand landed on her shoulder and pulled her backwards sharply. Isabelle winced at the echo of the hatch in the bunker as it slammed shut. She was spun to face a furious Nathaniel. Without warning he slapped her hard with a broad, flat palm across the face, sending her sprawling to the floor. Isabelle gasped and pressed a hand to the stinging flesh, he had never struck her before and she stared up at him in disbelief. “You don’t go outside Isabelle. You stay in here,” Nathaniel screamed, spittle flying from his mouth as his wild eyes glared into hers. “How can I protect you if you’re out there?!”
“You touch me again and it will be the last thing you do,” Isabelle hissed as she struggled onto her feet. The faint tang of blood from a bitten cheek tainted her mouth.
          Again he raised his hand as her threat, his eyes wild and Isabelle ducked just in time and caught his wrist. In a smooth motion, her muscles remembering the lesson Daryl had taught her as clearly as any ballet move, she spun and pinned his arm behind his back. With a sharp tug she pulled upright and kicked the back of his knee until he was on his knees before her. Holding his wrist up she felt the muscles strain and the joint threaten to pop as she pressed his hand to his shoulder blades, finally he stilled his struggles. “You’re hurting me…”
“Yeah and what you did was what… Supposed to tickle? You just slapped me Nathaniel and tried to do it again,” Isabelle snapped, pulling his wrist higher until he crumpled forwards with a cry to ease the strain.
“All right, I’m sorry, please…” Nathaniel shouted and Isabelle released his wrist and stepped away, adrenaline coursing through her veins. What had Daryl done to her? Since when had she ever taken action so quickly and decisively before? “Where the hell did you learn to do that?”
“My group,” Isabelle stated, helping Nathaniel back upright with some guilt at his scuffed knee and bruised wrist. “Nathaniel, we have to get back with them. We need to go to Terminus.”
“Are they all like you? Mental?” Nathaniel muttered, rubbing anxiously at his wrist.
“I’m mental for retaliating against being slapped again?” Isabelle growled, pointing to her already discolouring eye. She could feel the swelling growing along her cheekbone.
“No, ok I’m sorry. It’s been a while, I…” Nathaniel was mumbling away, searching around the room. “You’re right, we need… you need to be kept safe.” He thrust a rucksack into her hands, Isabelle glared down at it.
“I don’t need anyone to keep me safe anymore,” Isabelle snapped as she moved to help pack up the remaining supplies. Realising she was still getting her way even if the idea behind it was somewhat insulting she struggled to calm herself. “I can handle myself better now than I ever could before. I don’t need a guardian or a protector, Daryl...” Her words trailed off at the thought of him and she intensified her packing efforts.
At the bottom of a crate she found her dagger and leather jacket and quickly donned them, ignoring what remained of the maxi dress before noticing the large amount of blood on it. Her fingers trailed over it. It would smell, it could be a distraction if they really needed it. She didn’t know how well he could survive out there, he could be a liability if he was only used to the bunker and a small area. Bundling it up inside a fleece blanket she thrust it into the top of the rucksack. Turning around she came face to face with Nathaniel and stumbled backwards at how close he was. He’d regressed to avoiding looking at her again, his eyes anywhere but on her. Isabelle frowned at him, she was starting to suspect there was something more than his years of isolation behind his inability to look at her.
“Nathaniel do you have something to say to me?” Isabelle whispered suspiciously.
“No… come on, let’s find your group,” He turned and headed for the hatch, climbing through before she could catch up.
“Nathaniel, what did you do?” Isabelle shouted after him as she clambered up the steps and out into the fresh air. For a moment she was lost in the feeling of being free again. Outside, open air.
“I didn’t do anything to you,” Nathaniel stated calmly as he breathed in deeply next to her. “I saw you with that man…”
“Daryl? You saw Daryl?” She interrupted, her hand landing on his arm and forcing him to look at her. Her heart filled with hope, if he knew him perhaps he knew where he had gone.
“You love him,” Nathaniel stated once more, a coldness in his voice as he started to cross the crumbled mess of the building remains. “I saw it in your eyes, the second you looked at him. Even though he shot you. Tried to kill you.”
“He didn’t know it was me,” Isabelle muttered as she slid over the rubble and stumbled after him. “He was the one who taught me… well, he taught me how to restrain someone and defend myself.”
“I thought you loved me?” Nathaniel stopped as his feet landed on the grass and he turned to help her down the drop. “You spent all those years chasing me… were they a lie?”
“Nathaniel, I thought you were dead,” Isabelle pointed out as she took his hand and dropped heavily to the grass next to him, ignoring the twinge in her side. There was a road to the right and they headed towards it. “I never thought I would see anyone from the company again.”
“Was it a lie?” Nathaniel stopped, for once staring straight into her eyes.
          Isabelle lowered her eyes from his, no longer able to meet his gaze in return. How did you tell someone who had spent years alone in an apocalypse praying to see you again that everything in the past had started because of the money they had? She turned to walk on only for his hand knotting with hers to stop her and force her to look at him again. “Do we have to talk about this now?” Isabelle whispered uncomfortably.
“Isabelle, I think I’ve earned the truth,” Nathaniel pointed out as she scuffed her foot against the tarmac. He’d found her some boots, for once they actually fit as well.
“It wasn’t all a lie,” Isabelle muttered, looking away.
“Then it was in part a lie?” Nathaniel’s hand dropped from hers.
“Look, I was young and I was stupid. The world we were in…” Isabelle set into the steady pace he set as they trudged onwards. “At first it was the money, yes. I was naïve and I didn’t… I didn’t know any better. Nathaniel,” She stopped him, hand on his arm and on her heart. “I honestly never meant to hurt you. I cared, I cared a lot and the more I got to know you the more I cared. We weren’t the best though to each other.”
“I was loyal,” Nathaniel whispered, touching her face where the bruise was blossoming.
“I know and I wasn’t but… look I was flawed, I probably still am but I did care,” Isabelle spluttered at the accusation in his eyes. “None of us were saints back then.”
“You never loved me?” Nathaniel smiled faintly.
“In my own way I did,” Isabelle grimaced at the uncomfortable topic. “I know; I wasn’t the greatest. I could have done more, been more. We were young Nathaniel, and we lived in a world where things didn’t matter like they do now.”
“What it’s more important to keep your legs closed now?” Nathaniel snapped as Isabelle blushed. “Loyalty more important to you?”
“That’s not… you know it was a problem,” Isabelle muttered. “It was my way of coping; I’m not saying it was right but…”
“But what Isabelle? What justification do you have for your behaviour?” Nathaniel laughed as he continued on. “You were always childish and I tolerated it because you were younger than me, I thought you’d grow out of it. Have you?”
“You know, you can be a real…” Isabelle started.
“A real what? Whore? Tart? Prostitute?” Nathaniel gasped at the slap, she’d hit him harder than she meant to but her anger was boiling her blood.
“I am not a prostitute! I have… I had an addiction. The past can stay where it belongs, in the past,” Isabelle hissed. “I’ve moved on, I’m getting better. Besides, you were just the same, all those orgies. You think I don’t know about those? At least all I did was one on one, with protection and people I knew.”
“People who you wanted something from,” Nathaniel taunted, rubbing his cheek as he glared at her. “You think he’ll want you when he knows what you did? What will he say when he meets me?” Nathaniel mused quietly.
“You tell him nothing about my past, our past,” Isabelle snapped as they headed along the road.
“I think he deserves to know…” Nathaniel began only for her glare to silence him. “You really love him that much? He means that much to you?”
“There is nothing he needs to know,” Isabelle hissed, stepping up to glare into Nathaniel’s eyes from her almost five-inch disadvantage. “Nothing in the past can be brought here, there is nothing anyone needs to know. It’s gone, everything we knew and had. It’s a new world Nathaniel, let’s not ruin it by dredging up the past.”
“Don’t you think he deserves to know… about the sex addiction at least? About what we were or should have been?” Nathaniel was silenced by her glare.
“He knows what he needs to know. You tell him anything about the past, and I’ll make sure your last days on this earth are spent…” Isabelle started only to grit her teeth at the pain in his eyes. He was already in hell, there was nothing worse she could do to him. “You’ll regret it.”
          They trudged onwards, a heavy silence between them. The weight of the old world settled on their shoulders and Isabelle could see it weighed just as heavily on him as it did on her. A crossroads appeared in the distance, a watchtower standing proudly at the junction where a train line crossed the cracked tarmac. Isabelle frowned as they approached. There was as a sign and a faint impression of a red X that she could just make out. Her heart leaped with hope and she found herself jogging and then sprinting forwards as her eyes took in the word. Terminus… they’d found it. It had been so close! Her fingers trailed along the line and she felt tears of relief begin to trail down her cheeks.
“We just have to follow the train line, we did it,” She crowed with joy, turning to Nathaniel who looked less pleased.
“Great, back to your latest lover,” He drawled.
“Nothing’s happened yet, he’s not like that,” Isabelle whispered, checking and double checking the map.
“What, you haven’t fucked him yet?” Nathaniel snapped.
“No,” Isabelle glowered at him. “Look, I get it. We did wrong by each other but now isn’t the time.”
          Nathaniel reached forwards and pulled the ring on the chain that was still tickling her breast. They both looked at it. Slowly Isabelle closed her hand around his, sealing the ring inside their palms. “It wasn’t all wrong Isabelle.”
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Survival Isn't An Option